A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.


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"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
Henry Youngman. sid375

He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike.


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"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain sid375

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.


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"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Herm Albright. sid375

like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.


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"Those who can do, those who can't teach."
George Bernard Shaw. sid375

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.


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"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
Douglas Adams. sid375

Humor is just another defense against the universe.


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time for a 20 min break ? :thumbsup

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.


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If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.


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"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
Charles Lamb. sid375

It is possible to be below flattery as well as above it.


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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.


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Take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity.


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break is over ;) sid375

"The Middle Eastern states aren't nations, they're quarrels with borders."
PJ O'Rouke. sid375

Take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then say it with the utmost levity.


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"Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!"
Steve Martin. sid375

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.


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The big thieves hang the little ones.


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"On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'."
Paul Merton. sid375

There are more fools in the world than there are people.


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"In an underdeveloped country don't drink the water. In a developed country don't breathe the air."
Jonathan Raban. sid375

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Dan Quayle. sid375

The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness.


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Mustard's no good without roast beef.


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"They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood."
Bob Hope. sid375

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.


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"My first rule of travel is never to go to a place that sounds like a medical condition and Critz is clearly an incurable disease involving flaking skin."
Bill Bryson. sid375

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.


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"Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there."
Yakov Smirnoff. sid375

I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.

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"Of course America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up."
Oscar Wilde. sid375

BILLINGSGATE, n. The invective of an opponent.


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"He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian."
Woody Allen. sid375

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.


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"The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey."
Woody Allen.

OCCASIONAL, adj. Afflicting us with greater or less frequency. That, however, is not the sense in which the word is used in the phrase "occasional verses," which are verses written for an "occasion," such as an anniversary, a celebration or other event. True, they afflict us a little worse than other sorts of verse, but their name has no reference to irregular recurrence.


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"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
Charles de Gaulle. sid375

Before a war military science seems a real science, like astronomy; but after a war it seems more like astrology.


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"In the Societ army it takes more courage to retreat than advance."
Joseph Stalin. sid375

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.


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The world is my lobster.


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"In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you."
Yakov Smirnoff. sid375

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.


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New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human."
Barry Humphries. sid375