Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.

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"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth--even if it costs him his job."
Samuel Goldwyn. sid375

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it.


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Today's payslip has more deductions than a Sherlock Holmes novel."
Raymond Cvikota sid375

It is possible to be below flattery as well as above it.


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"To make a long story short, there's nothing like having a boss walk in."
Doris Lilly sid375

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.


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"Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty."
George Bernard Shaw.

sid375

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.


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Vote early and vote often.


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"A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth."
Patrick Murray. sid375

Living hell is the best revenge.


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The one great principle of English law is to make business for itself."
Charles Dickens sid375

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.


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fuk me

dont you lot sleep

:winkwink:

A man may as well open an oyster without a knife, as a lawyer's mouth without a fee."
Barton Holyday sid375

Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else.


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not today :1orglaugh sid375

What's sleep? :helpme



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"The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing."
Will Rogers. sid375

He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks.


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"A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong; they should have killed him because he was a lawyer."
Whitney Brown. sid375

hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts

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"No brilliance is required in law, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails."
John Mortimer. sid375

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news

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"Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish."
Ted Whitehead. sid375

Life is too short for traffic

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"An incompetent lawyer can delay a trial for months or years. A competent lawyer can delay one even longer."
Evelle Younger. sid375

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

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"A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats."
Benjamin Franklin. sid375

"Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer."
Will Rogers.
sid375

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.


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"I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal."
Peter Cook. sid375

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.



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"The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk."
Patrick Murray. sid375

I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.


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"A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns."
Mario Puzo. sid375

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.


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A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it to himself."
Henry Bougham.v sid375

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is

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"The most beautiful words in the English langauge are 'not guilty'."
Maxim Gorky. sid375

To read a newspaper is to refrain from reading something worthwhile. The first discipline of education must therefore be to refuse resolutely to feed the mind with canned chatter.


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"To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph."
John Mortimer sid375

A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong

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"There are three reasons why lawyers are replacing rats as laboratory research animals. One is that they are plentiful, another is that lab assistants don't get so attached to them and the third is that they will do things that you just can't get rats to do."
Blanche Knott. sid375

don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism.


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"The Scottish verdict 'not proven' means 'guilty, but don't do it again'."
Winifred Duke. sid375

In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small things they show themselves as they are.


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"Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate."
Ambrose Bierce.

"My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."
Walter Matthau. sid375