"Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?"
- Bumper Sticker sid375

So plain the advantages of machination
It constitutes a moral obligation,
And honest wolves who think upon't with loathing
Feel bound to don the sheep's deceptive clothing.
So prospers still the diplomatic art,
And Satan bows, with hand upon his heart.
R.S.K.


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"God, please save me from your followers!"
- Bumper Sticker sid375

When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.


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Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life sid375

ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.


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"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) sid375

It is only to the individual that a soul is given.


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"Luck is the residue of design."
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team sid375

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.


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"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks sid375

I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.


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"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) sid375

The more opinions you have, the less you see.


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We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here.


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"Wit is educated insolence."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) sid375

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates (470-399 B.C.) sid375

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools

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"Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) sid375

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.


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"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."
- Gore Vidal sid375

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.


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"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
- Samuel Palmer (1805-80) sid375

ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection.


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PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.


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"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955) sid375

He lived in a period prehistoric,
When all was absurd and phantasmagoric.
Born later, when Clio, celestial recorded,
Set down great events in succession and order,
He surely had seen nothing droll or fortuitous
In anything here but the lies that she threw at us.
Orpheus Bowen


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"Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny."
- Guy Davenport sid375

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.


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"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) sid375

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.


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"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) sid375

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.


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"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth."
- Niels Bohr (1885-1962) sid375

MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.


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"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"
- Niels Bohr (1885-1962) sid375

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.


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"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."
- Paul Dirac (1902-1984) sid375

DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.


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It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.


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"I would have made a good Pope."
- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994) sid375

He who endeavors to serve, to benefit, and improve the world, is like a swimmer, who struggles against a rapid current, in a river lashed into angry waves by the winds. Often they roar over his head, often they beat him back and baffle him. Most men yield to the stress of the current... Only here and there the stout, strong heart and vigorous arms struggle on toward ultimate success.


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"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience."
- W.B. Prescott

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.


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This is a celebration of individual freedom, not of homosexuality. No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.


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"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin."
- John von Neumann (1903-1957) sid375

Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.


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"The mistakes are all waiting to be made."
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position sid375

Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.


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"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.) sid375