Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.


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The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.


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People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot."
Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI sid375

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.


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"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan sid375

:glugglug

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.


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"They who drink beer will think beer."
Washington Irving. sid375

like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.


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"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
Ernest Hemingway (For Whom the Bell Tolls). sid375

"I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop."
Noel Coward. sid375

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.


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"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
Dave Barry. sid375

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.


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"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."
Mark Twain. sid375

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.


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"I drink therefore I am."
WC Fields. sid375

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth

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"An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do."
Dylan Thomas. sid375

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

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"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S Thompson. sid375

If man does find the solution for world peace it will be the most revolutionary reversal of his record we have ever known.


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"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
NF Simpson. sid375

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them

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"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"
Henry Youngman.
sid375

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one

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"Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money."
Robin Williams. sid375

"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy."
Fred Allen. sid375

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.


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"I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up."
Dean Martin. sid375

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood

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Look for the ridiculous in everything, and you will find it

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"I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
Robert Benchley. sid375

"He once had his toes amputated so he could stand closer to the bar."
Mike Harding. sid375

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.


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"I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine."
HL Mencken. sid375

In this business you either sink or swim or you don't.


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"I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something."
George Burns.

If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.


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"I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example."
Mick Miller. sid375

When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.


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"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
Rodney Dangerfield. sid375

What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.


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Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
Robin Williams. sid375

Nothing fails like success.


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"Prohibition is better than no liquor at all."
Will Rogers. sid375

Vote early and vote often.


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"Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk."
Christopher Howse. sid375

"I am a drinker with writing problems."
Brendan Behan. sid375

It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong

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