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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
Posts: 1,541
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Guys who are mean to their girlfriends???
Do you ever find yourself being mean for no reason? Guys you know how we will say something to our lady and then realize that it was a bit harsh later and try to make up for it? Well I find myself doing that sometimes and it hurts her feelings. I'm not like a complete dick but sometimes i am a bit of an ass. I dont cuss or yell at her but on occasion i'll say something mean. Maybe it's because i have no patience for dumb things. Maybe it's because i expect a certain level on intellegence from people so it frustrates me when i get anything less? Maybe it's because I really dont trust people (women especially because they are sneaky) until i am given a reason to trust so sometimes i am thinking 'what is she really up to' which will then put me in a bad mood. I'm working on the whole trust issue but as far as just mean comments I am working on being nice as well. I would like to be able to chill and just be nice to my woman but when i start being to nice she starts to take my kindness for weakness. Then when i am a some what of a dick she wonders what's wrong and becomes more humble. Not sure what to do but i dont want to be a scrooge. Any advice?
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#2 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The WATER BABY!
Posts: 7,040
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not to be mean or start anything but how old are you? this will help gauge whether you are just immature and have some growing up to do or whether you have some serious insecurity issues.
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#3 |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: gfyer
Posts: 48
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![]() I agree with Odie.
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#4 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
Posts: 1,541
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28 years of age
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
Posts: 1,541
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It's ok, i wont take offense. I just need some advice. If i am insecure then so be it. but how do i get over it?
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#6 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 67,795
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Quote:
Scary. No really scary infact... ![]() |
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#7 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 5,542
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at 28 years old, you should know how to communicate with your woman. If you dont trust her, then its you that has the issue. Trust and communication are the Key to any good relationship.
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#8 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,680
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Just beat the shit out of her like I do.
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icq: 237055440 |
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#9 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,874
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Between the ages of 28 and 32, you begin to develop into who you are, rather than what was expected from you by influential people.
Lack of trust is a stepping stone, so look back to see where it started. Relationships with women..well, look at your parents and see how they treated each other.... As to women seeing you as weak if you're kind, you may well be dating the wrong women..just as women sometimes date the 'bad' boys rather than those who treat them well, until they get hurt one time too many. Trust issues make for poor relationships.....and it's too bad, because just as not all men are bad, not all women are sneaky...
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Raven
~RETIRED~ |
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#10 |
ICQ: 197-556-237
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: BRASIL !!!
Posts: 57,559
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Are you a webmaster?
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I'm just a newbie. |
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#11 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
Posts: 1,541
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Quote:
I just need to work on trust within myself |
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#12 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
Posts: 1,541
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Quote:
Really the way i see it, she's going to do what she's going to do whether i think about it or not so i am just going to live and let whatever is going to happen happen. If she ends up being true then thats hot! if not then it is what it is and i have to deal. Worrying is not going to prevent anything. |
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#13 |
I need a beer
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
Posts: 133,944
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It's weird ,some chicks like to be treated like shit
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#14 |
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Southern CA
Posts: 2,466
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I know what you mean... and I wouldn't feel too bad. I have an AWESOME gf... easy going, never complains, ect ect. Just like anything else when you are around someone for long periods of time little things make you tick. Women know how to get under our skin... they just do. Every once in awhile she will do somin to get under my skin, I say something stupid and it takes me 3 days to make up for it, lol. It just happens. As long as you aren't getting physical I wouldn't worry about it.
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#15 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
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#16 | |
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 7,090
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Quote:
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![]() AFFORDABLE Hosting -- Extreme Dependability -- FULL Service ICQ ME for DAMN GOOD HOSTING DEALS: 5380773 |
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#17 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Haarlem and Amsterdam, capital of the porn world ;-)
Posts: 6,496
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learn to comunicate.. be gentle and nice
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#18 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Jul 2001
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I don't speak for all women here, but from my perspective, we don't want our men all gentle and nice all the time.....not that I advocate the extreme....gentle and nice all the time sounds boring to me....and not doable....no one is that well mannered or perfect.
I get the feeling, though, there is something else going on here......
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Raven
~RETIRED~ |
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#19 |
Porn Meister
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 16,443
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I think you need to just accept the simple fact that the only thing you ever have real control over is your *own* reactions to things and people.
Take it from there and you're fine. They say familiarity breeds contempt, and thats true enough. How often as a kid did your parents tell you to dress up and be polite at dinner when company came over? We tend to treat people we're close too more harshly because we know that they accept us. We're usually far nicer to people we've just met because impression hasnt taken place yet. So go out on a "first date" again with her everyday or however you need to think of it maybe. Beats me, I live alone, lol.
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43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar. ![]() |
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#20 |
I'd rather be on my boat.
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 9,748
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It sounds like you guys are already locked into a game playing pattern whereby you need to be mean in order for her to respect you. That is a bad pattern, and she WILL end up cheating on you. Sorry to sound so adamant, but I'm 43 years old and I've been through a lot with women, and I've watched a lot of friends go through stuff.
My advice to guys is to never get into a long term relationship with a woman under 27. From the ages of 22 to 28 women go through a HUGE amount of changes and the girl that you love at 23 will be a totally different person by 28. I have watched so many friends go through this. Just date around, don't put all your eggs in one basket until you are in your 30s, then start looking at girls in their late twenties.... THAT's when you can really look at relationships. Find one where you can be yourself ALL THE TIME. If you find that you have to be mean to get respect, or buy her love with gifts, or act any certain way in order to keep her with you, then that is the wrong women. The ONLY way that a relationship will be truely long lasting is that you can always be yourself, and she can always be herself, all the time, 24/7, and you still accept, respect and love each other. Any other situation is simply based on sexual chemistry alone, or insecurity, or something else, and is ultimately doomed. Here endeth the lesson.
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#21 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: ICQ: 248877409
Posts: 8,597
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get out the wife beater lol
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#22 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 7,020
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Quote:
Also, if she is being open and honest with you, you cannot begrudge her that. And if you continue to treat her poorly from time to time she may in fact go out and do the very thing that you are afraid of. Perhaps the other guys she cheated on were horrible to her...And if you think that she is of lesser intelligence than yourself, you are doing yourself and her a disservice because if it irritates you now, it will irritate you later on. Maybe you need to get over your insecurities before you get involved in a series relationship or you are always going to be where you are right now imo. Good luck!
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#23 | |
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Raven
~RETIRED~ |
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#24 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 1,465
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This is a great thread guys..sometimes this board still amazes me. There's some great advice above
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#25 | |
As you wish...
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 13,754
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Quote:
This part of what you wrote is true over here too: "I would like to be able to chill and just be nice to my woman but when i start being to nice she starts to take my kindness for weakness. Then when i am a some what of a dick she wonders what's wrong and becomes more humble." Ain't that the truth? I don't understand that part either. If I kiss ass and tell her how beautiful she is (which I truly believe) and how lucky I am to have her (which I also truly believe) she seems to start seeing weakness, just like you say. But if I have an attitude like I really don't care she is trying to please me. Women! ![]() We've been together for 5 years. But I have learned so much over the last 6 months it would be impossible to share it all here, especially since I have to leave to take my dogs to the vet in just a few minutes. Hopefully I'll remember this post later. There's a bit of a balance I've found that works well. |
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#26 |
Confirmed User
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Barcelona
Posts: 2,385
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See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit
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#27 | |
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 706
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#28 |
Biz Dev and SEO
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 15,180
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nothing better than good conversation... believe me! don't give her chance to play the act just as she wanted, you have to confront here at some moments, and to take the control - you are man, ain't you!
![]() i couldn't believe that i could hear so useful comments on this board! a way to go, guys and gals! ![]()
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#29 | |
I'd rather be on my boat.
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Location: Miami, FL
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Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber |
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#30 | |
jellyfish
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Posts: 71,528
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#31 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 14,423
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fuck i'm the same way, but my wife loves to start arguements and not stop, so eventually i lose it and say something i shouldn't.
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#32 | |
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Quote:
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Raven
~RETIRED~ |
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#33 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 7,865
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one thing we all have to live with is that we just have to stop looking for our own attributes in other people. we can't expect others to act the way we do or we'll only end up frustrated.
work on your patience meter, dude. no offense, but its one gauge of maturity.
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#34 | |
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 45
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Quote:
example: Women who sleep with a lot of men, tend to be missing a father figure in their lives, and are also open to a lot of abuse. She picks and chooses how she interacts with you based on the qualities she liked in her father. So skillz, you want to understand you companion... get to know her father. |
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#35 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,527
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just put yourself in her shoes. would you like being treated that way?
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#37 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,908
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She was also honest about something else in the beggining of our relationship which makes me believe her when she tells me these things.
-------------------------------------- Can you share the first, "true confession" she shared with you? I'm suspicious of her excuse that she didn't really like the other guys she cheated on. Anybody can make a mistake, but a clear pattern of "cheating" is different. |
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#38 | |
Confirmed User
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Posts: 6,874
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Quote:
Show me a prick and I guarantee he's been castrated by mommy and daddy was an abuser..emotionally, if not physically....
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Raven
~RETIRED~ |
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#39 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
Posts: 1,541
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You guys are awesome. Sorry it took so long for me to respond as i was offline for a few days. All of this is good advice and I take it all into consideration.
Some of my anger (for lack of a better word) stems from my parents passing away. My mother passed away back in 2004 and my father in 1998'. I had been angry about that for a long time as i spent half mty life waiting for them to die. They had HIV so genuine happiness is still something i am working on. I'm trying to move on with my life. She makes me very happy but i still have my trust issues as i explained before. Once i get past those i will be all good. I've been expirimenting with her over the last few days by not being mean but being almost poker faced. I guess being a REAL man and not joking around so much. She seems to respond better to that. I think it gives her more of a sense of security. Dont get me wrong she loves my funny side but i think overall women need a strong, no non sense type man. So i am learning to balance out the joking around with being serious. It seems to be working. |
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#40 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
Posts: 1,541
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Quote:
No she does not have AIDS. |
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#41 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Califor
Posts: 1,541
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Quote:
So true dude. |
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