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I think you need to just accept the simple fact that the only thing you ever have real control over is your *own* reactions to things and people.
Take it from there and you're fine.
They say familiarity breeds contempt, and thats true enough. How often as a kid did your parents tell you to dress up and be polite at dinner when company came over? We tend to treat people we're close too more harshly because we know that they accept us. We're usually far nicer to people we've just met because impression hasnt taken place yet.
So go out on a "first date" again with her everyday or however you need to think of it maybe. Beats me, I live alone, lol.
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