Man advice... - GoFuckYourself.com

chase · 12-23-2004, 11:39 AM

My husband's acting like an idiot.
We soft swing..meaning, he doesn't share, but I do. Well, we always had this ongoing thing-I always said I wouldn't want him with anyone who weighed less than he does (and he's a skinny mo-fo). But a week or so ago I lifted his restriction, because I don't feel insecure anymore. He could bang the best-looking chick and have a kick-ass time, and even if she was a better fuck, he'd be back b/c he loves me, and I'm pretty fucking special, and that's what I told him. Well, he immediately became suspicious, and started going through my emails and IM logs, and it is really really pissing me off. To me, no trust plus no respect (which is what he did by snooping) equals why the fuck are we still together?
There are lots of other side-issues, but this is the icing on the cake and I can't stand to be around him now. I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to sleep in the same bed with him, and I really don't want to fuck him. So what do I do? Should we take a break for a little while....until he gets a fucking grip and I can forgive him? Or is there something I can say or do to make him understand, because explaining it the way I have been is obviously not getting through.
I mean, jesus, you would think that a guy would be thrilled with his wife being that secure in their relationship! He has put me through the wringer in the past, and I fought for us to stay together, and we did. Why the heck is it so hard for him to grasp that if I didn't love him, that would have been a damn good time to get rid of him, so why did I try so hard?
Ugh.
Fucking men.

nofx · 12-23-2004, 11:42 AM

get a divorce

David! · 12-23-2004, 11:43 AM

You have given many liberties to your hubby, but he does not seem to reciprocate.
I would say trust is the most important thing in a marriage. You obviously trust him, but he seems like he doesn't trust you.

If I were you, I'd give him a real hard bitching session and tell him point blank what you feel. If that doesn't set him straight, then a little breather might be a good thing.

Manowar · 12-23-2004, 11:44 AM

drip hot wax on his balls while hes sleeping :costumed-

Phoenix · 12-23-2004, 11:46 AM

when you swing you will almost always run into problems like this.

Talk to him and let him know how you feel.

Most likely you are both open about all things..so it should be fine.

If not...find me in vegas, and ill put a smile on your face

MrIzzz · 12-23-2004, 11:48 AM

honestly, i dont believe in swinging while your married. its one thing to do it while your dating, its all fun. but the reason people get married in the first place is because they finally founf that significant other who completes their life. from the small conversations to the intimate moments it should only be about those two people. i still dont know how people can swing.

i'm old fashioned when it comes to marriage

xclusive · 12-23-2004, 11:53 AM

Leave him you are much better than that...

Love Sex · 12-23-2004, 12:00 PM

Take a vacation/break - make yourself happy - Us guys dont learn until what we want isnt there anymore..

At least thats what happened to me and now my relationships with women are much better

Furious_Female · 12-23-2004, 12:14 PM

Wow, you're a lot more secure than I could ever be! I don't have any advice about this... because I am quite conservative when it comes to marriages, relationships etc. You're husband seems to have it made though... so, be sure to look out for yourself and what makes you happiest.

dasexi1 · 12-23-2004, 12:31 PM

doesn't sound like a trust issue, sounds more like he's insecure. my

look at the bigger picture, you said you worked hard to stay together, so there must be something good about him, something that you love. Yeah it hurts to have someone snoop through your personal things, but you obviously have nothing to hide, and it's not your problem that is something he needs to work on. Also keep in mind that when you are upset, disapointed, angry or whatever it's hard to communicate. Write your husband a letter and while you are writing it pretend that he is listening with an open mind and heart. Start with why you are angry, tell him what you hate, then why you're sad, then fear, then regret, then love and after that tell him what you need to hear from him, if you need him to tell you that he loves you, trusts and appriciates you and you can work things out, then tell him that. Just don't give up on your marriage just yet.

chase · 12-23-2004, 12:31 PM

I didn't understand swinging either for a long time. I couldn't imagine being comfortable with the man I love touching someone else. But it's about being comfortable with who I am, and wanting to explore things WITH him, and grow together and experiencing things as a couple. Realisticly (sp?) most men cheat anyway....and in time he may have been one of them. Instead, we do it together, and there is no secrecy and no reason to "cheat". I'm confident that I am a great catch, and the only way he would ever leave me for another woman is if he genuinely fell in love, and that would happen anyway-you can't help who you fall for. I'd rather not worry about something I have no control over-it's kinda like worrying about gas prices. You need gas, no matter the price, so why even bother looking? lol And if he truly fell in love with someone else, I would want him to be happy-because that's what love, at it's core, is.
That said-we have two little girls together, so it's not as easy as just walking away. A break, though, may be what we need. I don't know.
It's like...if someone put a straightjacket on you because they were afraid you'd kill yourself, even though you never gave an indication you were going to....wouldn't you still want the damn thing off...even though you have no intention of hurting yourself? And if you did manage wo wiggle out of it, would you run out and kill yourself, just because you got out of it?
That's how I feel. Stifled and smothered. And I'm a good woman...I flirt, but I don't cheat. I've know this man since I was 14 and I've never done a thing to deserve this.

sean416 · 12-23-2004, 12:53 PM

Wow- I'm suprised by how many people are advising you to leave him. Thats a bit shocking and disgusting. You guys do realize this is her husband, not her boyfriend??

I feel for you, trust is very important to me and when its not there I have a hard time loving people. But remember, trust can mean different things to different people. That's really importantto understand. I broke up with a girl I was with for 18 months because I thought she didnt trust me, but it was just really due to her insecurities and her personality that she saw trust as something different from me.

I know the feeling of not wanting to look at a person, sleep in the same bed, etc. But what you need to do is sit down and have a real long talk. Spill your gets about this issue, the issues that you said also added to the fact, etc etc etc. If hes the person you fell in love with, he'll understand how much this means to you and that a solution needs to come about. Just remember, he's different then you and thats why you love him in the first place. So keep an open mind while hearing his opinion.

Hope everything works out! :-)

Cyndalie · 12-23-2004, 01:56 PM

You look for trouble you're going to find it.
I say you two take off from swinging and including others in your personal life and put for 100% of your effort into reconnecting, be honest and bet back in touch - remember why you love one another and forget everyone else. Give it 6 months and consider consuling. Obviously neither of you are secure enough in your relationship to continue any swinging soft or hard and that's not a bad thing - it's natural. We want to protect our own. But over the long term it could be a recipe for disaster. Set new rules for any future curiousities you may want to satisfy and never let anything happen unless the other person is there - if you can't handle seeing it in front of your face you can't handle it happening behind your back. Take a step back and fall back in love with one another first. People change over time and being married you always want to know that you always come first on the other persons list.

Be safe.
Cynd

chase · 12-23-2004, 03:51 PM

Thanks everyone who put their two cents in...it's good to get a neutral opinions-or a bunch of them.
I do want to clarify that we don't swing often and it isn't a big part of our life...we just had a few encounters in the past year, and it was always with both of us there.
I did what some of you suggested and wrote down how I feel...
When I look over what I wrote, I find it insane how he has no problem whatsoever with swinging when he's banging other chicks...but he can have a problem with me talking to people on IMs.
I just feel like we're moving in different directions.
He's content going nowhere and struggling, and I would rather work my ass off so my kids have a better life.
I completely trust him and have full faith in his feelings for me, and his commitment to me, even though he has given me reason not to in the past, and he won't give me the same trust and respect, even though I have never done anything to deserve it being withheld.
Ah, well.
I think we need some counseling outside of GFY, lol.
Much love and thanks for your help guys!

TheSaint · 12-23-2004, 03:58 PM

Whenever I am tempted to bring someone new into bed I am reminded that 100% of the people that I have known who have some sort of "open" marriage (or some varation) are now divorced.

And by the way, not all men cheat. I am going in 21 years with no temptations yet.

Pornwolf · 12-23-2004, 04:01 PM

That was one helluva policy change that you gave him. Kind of a 'shock to the system.' Don't worry about it. Fuck a couple of hotties together so he can see the only thing that has changed in your outlook is your own security issues.

yuvalus · 12-23-2004, 04:14 PM

Dump his sorry ass. It sounds like you have done all you can and he still doesn't get it. Any time you are in a situation like this it will always end but the same, no matter what you do it will not be enough as he has already decided. I wish you the best and hope you find someone who deserves to be with someone as great as yourself.

MandyBlake · 12-23-2004, 04:46 PM

Write him a letter telling him exactly how you feel.
A person can't argue at a letter.
This way you can get everything out without forgetting anything.
Communication is the biggest factor when it comes to swinging.
So if you don't want to talk to him, that's a bigger problem than the actually swinging situation.

Pornwolf · 12-23-2004, 04:47 PM

On second thought, hot candlewax to the scrotum will make any man act right... or get you killed. It's a 50/50 chance either way.

dasexi1 · 12-23-2004, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

On second thought, hot candlewax to the scrotum will make any man act right... or get you killed. It's a 50/50 chance either way.

something tells me you're the type that would enjoy a lil hot candle wax...
*lights candle...

come here u big bad pornwolf*

BlackCrayon · 12-23-2004, 06:10 PM

i think you might be over reacting in thinking about leaving him over it. women lie...a lot. at least in my experiences and he is probably just worried that you lifted these 'restrictions' because you found someone who you prefer over him and want him to find someone else as well to keep him busy while you have your fun with this other guy. did you sit down and tell him why? or just you just tell him he can bang anyone?

Libertine · 12-23-2004, 06:27 PM

Ofcourse he is suspicious.

"Yeah, you just go and fuck whomever you want. I don't really care either way."

Jealousy, in moderation, shows a person you care. It shows that you care enough about them to be afraid of losing them, and think they are an attractive enough partner to make others want to steal them away. What it also shows is that you are against cheating, and would not want it to happen to you. Someone who understands why you don't want them to fuck others because of having the exact same feeling seems much more likely to not cheat.

When a woman tells me she's ok with me fucking other women, I'll assume she's doing the same thing

iwantchixx · 12-23-2004, 06:30 PM

you don't fuck around but your man is allowed to?

dump him

and marry me.

DavieVegas · 12-23-2004, 06:32 PM

fact is swinging can be fun on occasion if only done with your lover and done with followed rules. Meaning iv known tons of couples who have there fun only with that girlfreind/boyfreind or husband or wife. Also iv see it done where the husband or boyfreind only sleeps with the wife or girlfreind and no rules around it. That is the only safe way to me if you willing to do the swinging thing. Me i could only do it that way. I could never let me girl get fucked by some guy, no way no how or let her watch me do another girl unless i could care less about her...Thats just my opinion though.

chase · 12-23-2004, 08:47 PM

I'm not wanting to be with other men...I mean, if he were ok with it, sure...but I know he's not, and so it wouldn't be fun for me.
Why is it that men can separate sex and love, but they can't accept that some women can, too? Seems like a wicked double standard to me...he knows that having sex with someone else doesn't mean he loves me any less-and since I am aware and in agreement with the situation, it isn't a betrayal. But I can't know that, too?
I'm basically getting punished for trusting him implicitly. Isn't that fucked up?
And men lie just as much as women do...you have to consider the history here....in 13 years of friendship and 5 years of being together, four of them married, I have NEVER lied to him. Not once. I just try to avoid doing anything I wouldn't feel comfortable with him knowing, and that's how I live my life. I have high standards of behaviour, and I expect a lot from myself, and I expect a lot from other people. And HE is the one who has been dishonest in the past, not ME! But he has the nerve to not trust ME?
Now he wants to read this thread..."to understand where I am coming from" he says. Bullshit-he wants to read it because he doesn't trust me. I TELL him where I am coming from, and HE decides that isn't what I really mean because of his own insecurities.
I am not going to live like I did something wrong-because all I did was trust him completely and tell him so. If that's wrong to him, then maybe he's the one who doesn't deserve MY trust. Maybe he feels guilty.
I will tell you this...now I don't trust him either, because he's sneaky, and he invaded my privacy and disrespected our relationship by snooping in my personal correspondence.

sean416 · 12-23-2004, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chase

now I don't trust him either, because he's sneaky, and he invaded my privacy and disrespected our relationship by snooping in my personal correspondence.

Strong words. Good luck resolving the issue.

12-23-2004, 11:39 AM	#1
chase Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 6,019	Man advice... My husband's acting like an idiot. We soft swing..meaning, he doesn't share, but I do. Well, we always had this ongoing thing-I always said I wouldn't want him with anyone who weighed less than he does (and he's a skinny mo-fo). But a week or so ago I lifted his restriction, because I don't feel insecure anymore. He could bang the best-looking chick and have a kick-ass time, and even if she was a better fuck, he'd be back b/c he loves me, and I'm pretty fucking special, and that's what I told him. Well, he immediately became suspicious, and started going through my emails and IM logs, and it is really really pissing me off. To me, no trust plus no respect (which is what he did by snooping) equals why the fuck are we still together? There are lots of other side-issues, but this is the icing on the cake and I can't stand to be around him now. I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to sleep in the same bed with him, and I really don't want to fuck him. So what do I do? Should we take a break for a little while....until he gets a fucking grip and I can forgive him? Or is there something I can say or do to make him understand, because explaining it the way I have been is obviously not getting through. I mean, jesus, you would think that a guy would be thrilled with his wife being that secure in their relationship! He has put me through the wringer in the past, and I fought for us to stay together, and we did. Why the heck is it so hard for him to grasp that if I didn't love him, that would have been a damn good time to get rid of him, so why did I try so hard? Ugh. Fucking men. __________________ Need Hosting? Reality Check Network services me purrrfectly!

12-23-2004, 11:42 AM	#2
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	get a divorce __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

12-23-2004, 11:43 AM	#3
David! By the wrath of Agamemnon Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Miami Posts: 6,501	You have given many liberties to your hubby, but he does not seem to reciprocate. I would say trust is the most important thing in a marriage. You obviously trust him, but he seems like he doesn't trust you. If I were you, I'd give him a real hard bitching session and tell him point blank what you feel. If that doesn't set him straight, then a little breather might be a good thing. __________________ .

12-23-2004, 11:46 AM	#5
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,462	when you swing you will almost always run into problems like this. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. Most likely you are both open about all things..so it should be fine. If not...find me in vegas, and ill put a smile on your face __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

12-23-2004, 11:48 AM	#6
MrIzzz If u touch it, I will cum Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: long island Posts: 22,923	honestly, i dont believe in swinging while your married. its one thing to do it while your dating, its all fun. but the reason people get married in the first place is because they finally founf that significant other who completes their life. from the small conversations to the intimate moments it should only be about those two people. i still dont know how people can swing. i'm old fashioned when it comes to marriage __________________ WHO WANTS TO PLAY GRAB-ASS?

12-23-2004, 11:44 AM	#4
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	drip hot wax on his balls while hes sleeping :costumed-

12-23-2004, 11:53 AM	#7
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	Leave him you are much better than that... __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

12-23-2004, 12:00 PM	#8
Love Sex Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,905	Take a vacation/break - make yourself happy - Us guys dont learn until what we want isnt there anymore.. At least thats what happened to me and now my relationships with women are much better

12-23-2004, 12:14 PM	#9
Furious_Female Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Upstate, New York Posts: 8,187	Wow, you're a lot more secure than I could ever be! I don't have any advice about this... because I am quite conservative when it comes to marriages, relationships etc. You're husband seems to have it made though... so, be sure to look out for yourself and what makes you happiest. __________________ Skype: j3nn.com ICQ 160370494 My current favorite high-converting sponsor: CrakRevenue

12-23-2004, 12:31 PM	#10
dasexi1 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: if i told you, then THEY'D know Posts: 934	doesn't sound like a trust issue, sounds more like he's insecure. my look at the bigger picture, you said you worked hard to stay together, so there must be something good about him, something that you love. Yeah it hurts to have someone snoop through your personal things, but you obviously have nothing to hide, and it's not your problem that is something he needs to work on. Also keep in mind that when you are upset, disapointed, angry or whatever it's hard to communicate. Write your husband a letter and while you are writing it pretend that he is listening with an open mind and heart. Start with why you are angry, tell him what you hate, then why you're sad, then fear, then regret, then love and after that tell him what you need to hear from him, if you need him to tell you that he loves you, trusts and appriciates you and you can work things out, then tell him that. Just don't give up on your marriage just yet.

12-23-2004, 12:53 PM	#12
sean416 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,633	Wow- I'm suprised by how many people are advising you to leave him. Thats a bit shocking and disgusting. You guys do realize this is her husband, not her boyfriend?? I feel for you, trust is very important to me and when its not there I have a hard time loving people. But remember, trust can mean different things to different people. That's really importantto understand. I broke up with a girl I was with for 18 months because I thought she didnt trust me, but it was just really due to her insecurities and her personality that she saw trust as something different from me. I know the feeling of not wanting to look at a person, sleep in the same bed, etc. But what you need to do is sit down and have a real long talk. Spill your gets about this issue, the issues that you said also added to the fact, etc etc etc. If hes the person you fell in love with, he'll understand how much this means to you and that a solution needs to come about. Just remember, he's different then you and thats why you love him in the first place. So keep an open mind while hearing his opinion. Hope everything works out! :-) __________________ ServerProvider.com

12-23-2004, 01:56 PM	#13
Cyndalie Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Cherry Hill, NJ Posts: 3,615	You look for trouble you're going to find it. I say you two take off from swinging and including others in your personal life and put for 100% of your effort into reconnecting, be honest and bet back in touch - remember why you love one another and forget everyone else. Give it 6 months and consider consuling. Obviously neither of you are secure enough in your relationship to continue any swinging soft or hard and that's not a bad thing - it's natural. We want to protect our own. But over the long term it could be a recipe for disaster. Set new rules for any future curiousities you may want to satisfy and never let anything happen unless the other person is there - if you can't handle seeing it in front of your face you can't handle it happening behind your back. Take a step back and fall back in love with one another first. People change over time and being married you always want to know that you always come first on the other persons list. Be safe. Cynd __________________ Cyndalie Marketing Director StoriesTraffic.com

12-23-2004, 03:51 PM	#14
chase Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 6,019	Thanks everyone who put their two cents in...it's good to get a neutral opinions-or a bunch of them. I do want to clarify that we don't swing often and it isn't a big part of our life...we just had a few encounters in the past year, and it was always with both of us there. I did what some of you suggested and wrote down how I feel... When I look over what I wrote, I find it insane how he has no problem whatsoever with swinging when he's banging other chicks...but he can have a problem with me talking to people on IMs. I just feel like we're moving in different directions. He's content going nowhere and struggling, and I would rather work my ass off so my kids have a better life. I completely trust him and have full faith in his feelings for me, and his commitment to me, even though he has given me reason not to in the past, and he won't give me the same trust and respect, even though I have never done anything to deserve it being withheld. Ah, well. I think we need some counseling outside of GFY, lol. Much love and thanks for your help guys! __________________ Need Hosting? Reality Check Network services me purrrfectly!

12-23-2004, 03:58 PM	#15
TheSaint Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Everywhere at once Posts: 991	Whenever I am tempted to bring someone new into bed I am reminded that 100% of the people that I have known who have some sort of "open" marriage (or some varation) are now divorced. And by the way, not all men cheat. I am going in 21 years with no temptations yet. __________________ I have no signature

12-23-2004, 04:01 PM	#16
Pornwolf Drunk and Unruly Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hollywood Posts: 22,712	That was one helluva policy change that you gave him. Kind of a 'shock to the system.' Don't worry about it. Fuck a couple of hotties together so he can see the only thing that has changed in your outlook is your own security issues. __________________ I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade... Webair, bitches.

12-23-2004, 04:14 PM	#17
yuvalus Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,906	Dump his sorry ass. It sounds like you have done all you can and he still doesn't get it. Any time you are in a situation like this it will always end but the same, no matter what you do it will not be enough as he has already decided. I wish you the best and hope you find someone who deserves to be with someone as great as yourself. __________________ Mail me: [email protected]

12-23-2004, 04:46 PM	#18
MandyBlake The one and only! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 17,761	Write him a letter telling him exactly how you feel. A person can't argue at a letter. This way you can get everything out without forgetting anything. Communication is the biggest factor when it comes to swinging. So if you don't want to talk to him, that's a bigger problem than the actually swinging situation. __________________ Mandy's Playhouse Her First Fat Girl If you're interested in promoting my sites, ICQ me! 178411921

12-23-2004, 04:47 PM	#19
Pornwolf Drunk and Unruly Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hollywood Posts: 22,712	On second thought, hot candlewax to the scrotum will make any man act right... or get you killed. It's a 50/50 chance either way. __________________ I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade... Webair, bitches.

12-23-2004, 06:10 PM	#21
BlackCrayon Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Ottawa Posts: 19,631	i think you might be over reacting in thinking about leaving him over it. women lie...a lot. at least in my experiences and he is probably just worried that you lifted these 'restrictions' because you found someone who you prefer over him and want him to find someone else as well to keep him busy while you have your fun with this other guy. did you sit down and tell him why? or just you just tell him he can bang anyone? __________________ you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

12-23-2004, 06:27 PM	#22
Libertine sex dwarf Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 17,860	Ofcourse he is suspicious. "Yeah, you just go and fuck whomever you want. I don't really care either way." Jealousy, in moderation, shows a person you care. It shows that you care enough about them to be afraid of losing them, and think they are an attractive enough partner to make others want to steal them away. What it also shows is that you are against cheating, and would not want it to happen to you. Someone who understands why you don't want them to fuck others because of having the exact same feeling seems much more likely to not cheat. When a woman tells me she's ok with me fucking other women, I'll assume she's doing the same thing __________________ /(bb\|[^b]{2})/

12-23-2004, 06:30 PM	#23
iwantchixx Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Boonies Posts: 12,860	you don't fuck around but your man is allowed to? dump him and marry me.

12-23-2004, 06:32 PM	#24
DavieVegas Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 6,117	fact is swinging can be fun on occasion if only done with your lover and done with followed rules. Meaning iv known tons of couples who have there fun only with that girlfreind/boyfreind or husband or wife. Also iv see it done where the husband or boyfreind only sleeps with the wife or girlfreind and no rules around it. That is the only safe way to me if you willing to do the swinging thing. Me i could only do it that way. I could never let me girl get fucked by some guy, no way no how or let her watch me do another girl unless i could care less about her...Thats just my opinion though. __________________ SKYPE#: davievegas - email: ddmedia702[at]mail[.]com

12-23-2004, 08:47 PM	#25
chase Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 6,019	I'm not wanting to be with other men...I mean, if he were ok with it, sure...but I know he's not, and so it wouldn't be fun for me. Why is it that men can separate sex and love, but they can't accept that some women can, too? Seems like a wicked double standard to me...he knows that having sex with someone else doesn't mean he loves me any less-and since I am aware and in agreement with the situation, it isn't a betrayal. But I can't know that, too? I'm basically getting punished for trusting him implicitly. Isn't that fucked up? And men lie just as much as women do...you have to consider the history here....in 13 years of friendship and 5 years of being together, four of them married, I have NEVER lied to him. Not once. I just try to avoid doing anything I wouldn't feel comfortable with him knowing, and that's how I live my life. I have high standards of behaviour, and I expect a lot from myself, and I expect a lot from other people. And HE is the one who has been dishonest in the past, not ME! But he has the nerve to not trust ME? Now he wants to read this thread..."to understand where I am coming from" he says. Bullshit-he wants to read it because he doesn't trust me. I TELL him where I am coming from, and HE decides that isn't what I really mean because of his own insecurities. I am not going to live like I did something wrong-because all I did was trust him completely and tell him so. If that's wrong to him, then maybe he's the one who doesn't deserve MY trust. Maybe he feels guilty. I will tell you this...now I don't trust him either, because he's sneaky, and he invaded my privacy and disrespected our relationship by snooping in my personal correspondence. __________________ Need Hosting? Reality Check Network services me purrrfectly!