Your Girlfriends Guy Friends. - Page 3 - GoFuckYourself.com

Kimmykim · 08-25-2003, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sherie
Dude, we are not 15 years old here.

Are you saying that if a girl/woman has male friends prior to dating you, that she should give those friends up? C'mawwwn!

And KK shame on your for buying your own shoes!! LOL

It's the first time Pucci's made shoes in years and Nordy's had one pair in each size, and cant get any more! I HAD to get them!

I'm definitely a shoe whore tho.

Angry American · 08-25-2003, 02:07 PM

And as far as being secure, that's not the problem. But I can tell the true friends my girl has from the slimy one's and can usually trick them into giving themselves away because they're normally the dumb jock type. It's those cute, yuppie, colledge grad, turd suckers you usually have to beat the shit out of or pistol whip in the face!

Tera · 08-25-2003, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by the Shemp

size 7?

haha... yes

plsureking · 08-25-2003, 02:09 PM

popular subject. wonder if it'll hit a grand?

Holly · 08-25-2003, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim
LOL Holly, you should see these kick ass shoes I got the other day... I completely forgot I shouldnt have paid for them myself!

Have you worn them yet? Are the bottoms scuffed? Cause if not, I'm sure it's not too late to take them back. Find them online somewhere and make a note of the url. Judging from experience, my guess is that it would take 15-20 mins. on ICQ, and maybe 1 pic (clothed of course, since it's only the first pair) for bringer to purchase them and have them sent to you.

Also, I like even my online deliveries to have the fancy gift wrap and a gift card. It just gives me that extra thrill to see the shiny paper and bow when I open the shipping package. I like to open the wrapping paper reeeeeally slow, too. Don't forget to casually mention the gift wrap thing to him if you're also into that.

sherie · 08-25-2003, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Phoenix

how odl are we here?

i didn't know you and i would have to draw the line between sensibility....as someone else pointedout there is a big differencve between the dude you have been friends with for 15 years against the dude you met at the gym.....

now when are you going to come voer and cook me some dinner woman?

So what? Still is ridiculous no matter how one looks at it...I am so glad that I dated older, most older men don't think that and don't worry about it. Regardless if you met a guy 15 years ago or 15 mins ago and are friends there should be no difference. Most guys don't have an issue with girls meeting new girlfriends. Chances are you more than likely have to worry about them sexing it up...but let me guess that's ok? LOL Come on show your age fella's =)

I am on my way over to break my foot off in your ass, and make sure you have that BBQ fired up!! I like my steak rare please ;)

Holly · 08-25-2003, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tera

oh shit, that is so funny!
I fuck everybody for shoes, so send me shoes and you get pussy, it's so simple LOL All you guys should be getting laid! If not go buy some shoes and give em away!

Alright, we need to quit talking about this now before we mess ourselves up. All the new fall stuff is out now and no way am I wearing last year's shoes.

Or (God forbid) paying for them.

sherie · 08-25-2003, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kimmykim

It's the first time Pucci's made shoes in years and Nordy's had one pair in each size, and cant get any more! I HAD to get them!

I'm definitely a shoe whore tho.

Dayum!! I guess I am too late to get one of my man bitches to buy them for me!! ;)

I wish we had Nordy's here =( I miss out all the time!

Nanda · 08-25-2003, 02:20 PM

Men are just as naive with their female friends, any chance their female friends get and they'll jump the guys bones!! U know, women are just as horny as men, if not hornier!

the Shemp · 08-25-2003, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sherie
Dayum!! I guess I am too late to get one of my man bitches to buy them for me!! ;)

I wish we had Nordy's here =( I miss out all the time!

all the PornProfit girls are size 7?

Kimmykim · 08-25-2003, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Holly

Have you worn them yet? Are the bottoms scuffed? Cause if not, I'm sure it's not too late to take them back. Find them online somewhere and make a note of the url.

I'd sooner cut my feet off than take them back, you can't get them online. There are a half dozen pairs in each size in the states and that is it... no more.

There are a pair of Rena Lange boots I'm on the lookout for, I'll take your advice ;)

sherie · 08-25-2003, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by the Shemp

all the PornProfit girls are size 7?

I certainly ain't requesting a man with a shoe size of 7...as you know what they say about men with small feet

Apparently there are two of us =)

Ladies we should go on a Fuck for Shoes World Tour! LMFAO

C_U_Next_Tuesday · 08-25-2003, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nanda
Men are just as naive with their female friends, any chance their female friends get and they'll jump the guys bones!! U know, women are just as horny as men, if not hornier!

some are and some arent.. just like the guys..

had a g/f of mine that had fucked my hubby before i started to date him..when we seen her in public she acted all kinds of stupid and couldnt keep her eyes off of him..i told him that they werent allowed to hang out without me..lol.. but he has another friend i would trust them to sleep in the same bed together without anything happening.. and she became a good friend to me also..but they had never slept together..

its all about the trust folks.. its a great thing to have and a shitty thing when its broken

Tera · 08-25-2003, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Holly

Alright, we need to quit talking about this now before we mess ourselves up. All the new fall stuff is out now and no way am I wearing last year's shoes.

Or (God forbid) paying for them.

Yes I know, I am not giving away anymore of my secrets, I will just quietly sit back and accept all my shoes with grace.. send away boys!

Libertine · 08-25-2003, 02:33 PM

Without going through reading the entire thread, here's what just happened to me:

After having been with my girlfriend for 3 years, last week she dumped me (through sms even).
I spoke with her today on icq, because I wanted to know why she did it through sms. That part isn't relevant.

However, what is relevant: She had a male friend. She believed "he wasn't interested in her at all", and said "she wasn't interested in him at all" either.

Within a week of dumping me, she's dating that very same guy. Now, she even told me that she finds him rather boring, and "empty" when she speaks with him. After talking with me, she even said she might want to take me back in the future (yeah right... like there's a chance in hell of that happening).

The moral of the story: when your girlfriend has male friends, if you break up, they will jump in immediately while she's weak and in doubt, and quickly kill off any chance of the both of you ever getting back together.

Nathan · 08-25-2003, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

Nathan my friend, most women aren't like Inka. Most women are deeply and unredeemably evil.

dig! LOL... thanks for the compliments I guess.. but you might be right really.. guess I got lucky, huh?

Sly_RJ · 08-25-2003, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by punkworld
After talking with me, she even said she might want to take me back in the future (yeah right... like there's a chance in hell of that happening).

You'll take her back.

Libertine · 08-25-2003, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sly_RJ

You'll take her back.

I'd rather cut off my own dick with a blunt knife.
Taking her back would mean giving up the all the selfrespect that I have, and the only thing you really have in life is selfrespect.

No matter how much how I love her (which I still do), there's no way in hell I will ever even touch her again.

dig420 · 08-25-2003, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nathan

dig! LOL... thanks for the compliments I guess.. but you might be right really.. guess I got lucky, huh?

without a doubt my man, you got a good one

dig420 · 08-25-2003, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by punkworld

I'd rather cut off my own dick with a blunt knife.
Taking her back would mean giving up the all the selfrespect that I have, and the only thing you really have in life is selfrespect.

No matter how much how I love her (which I still do), there's no way in hell I will ever even touch her again.

you won't be able to resist, no matter how hard you try. It's the pheromones.

You are now her sadistic entertainment.

the Shemp · 08-25-2003, 02:54 PM

i thought we were talking shoes here...

sherie · 08-25-2003, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by the Shemp
i thought we were talking shoes here...

Me too!

LeeNoga · 08-25-2003, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pipecrew
I take soo much shit for having girl FRIENDS, and get accused of cheating all the time, but if we ever did that to them, we'd be in shit haha.....

Easy solution, hang around some dykes as your GIRLfriends, the ladies never doubt their other half when they have lesbian friends :-)

dig420 · 08-25-2003, 02:59 PM

nathan turn on your icq, I have a programming question

Libertine · 08-25-2003, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dig420

you won't be able to resist, no matter how hard you try. It's the pheromones.

You are now her sadistic entertainment.

I'm starting a new university study this year. 90% of the 2000 students are women. Enough other pheromones there to distract me.

the Shemp · 08-25-2003, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sherie
Me too!

is there anything better than shopping for shoes with a couple of babes

sherie · 08-25-2003, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by the Shemp

is there anything better than shopping for shoes with a couple of babes

Yes there is...shopping for purses and sunglasses too =)

Libertine · 08-25-2003, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by the Shemp

is there anything better than shopping for shoes with a couple of babes

Death by hanging?

Pipecrew · 08-25-2003, 03:13 PM

If anything can be learnt by this thread, the true way to a womans heart is by purchasing nice Shoes.

sherie · 08-25-2003, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pipecrew
If anything can be learnt by this thread, the true way to a womans heart is by purchasing nice Shoes.

LOL for yourself sweetie...we only ask that you wear nice shoe's too! ;) But yea your right =)

Angry American · 08-25-2003, 03:35 PM

Shopping for underwear/lingere would definately beat shopping for shoes! Unless you got a foot fetish?

Pipecrew · 08-26-2003, 10:17 AM

I had a little Contest on my Site, I said the best 5 stories about Ex Girlfriends will win access to for 1 month to there favorite paysites or I will just send them a link with 600mb of my own paysites movies..

As you can imagine, the freaks came out of the woodwork. These are the Top 5.... I got tons of fucked up ones but these were the best of the best haha.

In No particular Order

***********STORY # 1 *****************

hey bro, hows the single life treating you? i can tell you its much funner than being locked down with a gf, thats for sure. no whining about watching sports everyday, nobody bugging you to change the light bulbs cuz there too damn short, no bitchin when you forget shes right next to you so you accidentally stare at that hot ass blonde chicks tits so hard you trip over the fountain in the middle of the mall, no guilt trips about caring more about your car than your woman, none of that shit. i know because i just broke up with my girlfriend of almost 5 years and now realize what i was missing out on. theres a lot of horny bitches out there! anyway i've been checking out your site regularly and thought it was pretty funny that you wanted to hear stories about fucked up stuff we've done to women. heres one to get started:

around christmas of last year i met a girl through a friend of mine. all of us (me, my friend, my brother, the girl, and her friend) went to the mall to hang out and do a little xmas shopping. well, the girl (i'll call her Amber) turns out to be smoking hot! shes a brunette with shoulder length hair, about 5'8", nice ass and a simply amazing rack. i'm talkin tits from heaven. they're perfect. and they're big! the only drawback was that shes about 5 yrs younger than me. but hey, barely legal is still legal so its all good.

so we're hanging out and she stats asking me if i'm single. stupidly i actually tell her i've got a girlfriend. i can see shes disappointed but we keep talking and having fun. she even helps me pick out clothes for my girlfriend. (glad she did cuz i didn't know what the hell to get her.) oh, by the way, by this point i had been told me a couple key pieces of information. first, she waxes. everywhere. second she gets really horny for a couple days every month. and this was one of the days.

things were looking good so we went back to my friends and had a few beers. Amber is getting really comfortable, hanging on me and being all touchy feely so i decide its time for me to leave. its about 2:30am at this point and i drive around the corner to my house. just as i was hoping there are headlights behind me. the girls get out and are like "hey can we come in with you, we uh, um, need a uh, glass of water..." i was like hell yeah!

we go in and the other girl goes to the living room woth my bro. Amber heads straight to my room like she's got a radar lock on it. we sit down on the bed and she attacks me. her toungue is immediately down my throat, and in no time her shirt and bra are on the floor. did i mention how perfect those tits are? WOW! perky 36 D's, firm, happy nipples. my hands and mouth are all over her chest and soon shes in my pants. before i know it shes completely naked and sure enough, that pussy is smooth as silk, and dripping like a faucet. and its super tight, just grasping my finger. she gets my cock out out and literally starts begging me to fuck her. i had never had a girl beg me like that! hell, i cant even remember any girl so desperate for anything. but of coarse my stupid ass didnt have a single rubber anywhere in the house. (the girlfriend, who didnt live with me, was on the pill so i figured i wouldnt need any. wrong)

well i didn't want to disappoint her but i wasnt about to get some college freshman pregnant. so i did what any self respecting guy would do. pushed her head down until her lips were in the perfect position to start sucking. she seemed a little hesitant at first and made me promise i'd let her know when it was time. i said yeah, yeah, now get to work. and work she did. that girl had one seriously talented mouth. i mean she had to have at least 3 toungues to do the things she doing. i was loving it! soon enough i felt it coming on so i told ok, here we go. she didnt hear me (maybe i just thought i said it, who knows) but i figured that was her problem, not mine. so she kept right on slurpin and all of a sudden BAM! jiz all over her face, down her throat, on her neck, everywhere. and she looked pissed. i had never seen such a hot chick, so naked, and looking so fucking mad. then she started to gag... and coughed up a mouth full of cum which of coarse she spit out all over my shirt. and that was my favorite shirt damnit! by that time it was like 4am and i realized i had to wake up in 2 hours so i could go to court. i told her i had to get some sleep and that she needed to get the fuck out. she was like "but i'm not even dressed yet, can i at least use the bathroom"
"NO! time to go!" i push her out of my room and towards the front door as she fumbles to put her thong back on. i get her outside and throw her the rest of her clothes and tell her that her friend is already waitng in the car. then i run back to my room and look out the window to get one last look at that magnificent rack. those tits have to be the eigth and ninth wonders of the world.

the best part is a couple hours later i was in court and i kicked ass! the judge loved me and handed me the case on a silver platter. when i got home i decided i needed to wash the shirt but that damn stain wouldnt come out. so i just wore the shirt anyway cuz it was my favorite shirt and all.oneday my girlfriend noticed the huge stain. she didnt even bother to ask how it got there or what it was. she just made me take it off and told me to leave. i figured i was dead busted but a while later she showed up at my house holding the shirt and smiling. "Look! I got the stain out for you. Good as new!" she said. true story.

well hope you enjoyed the story. and if you didnt too bad, hehe. you can still hook me up with some free links = ). and how bout some hot ass girl movies! no nasty slut that looks like her face just got kicked in by a rabid mule, and fucked a stranger for change to get on the bus so shecould get back to the corner and score some crack so she could get high and forget all about her 3 kids that were now being kicked by the mule that had kicked her so many times in the face.

women...
cant live with 'em.
cant get laid without 'em.

-jeremy

******************STORY #2*******************

OK, here's a true to life one, kinda proud of it
I was seeing this girl in college, nice, clean cut sort of girl, but she really, REALLY loved anal. Couldn't believe it, she looked like the proverbial girl next door, but moaned like a whore when I hit the back door.

Anyway, I found out that one of her friends had a thing for me, and, well, that friend invited another over to "get rid of" a bottle of tequila. One thing lead to another, and I end up with both of them in the lounge, while my flatmates slept jus the other side of the brick wall (Damn I loved college)

She found out about this in a matter of days, I'd pretty much had it with her "Prim and proper" image in public, and "dirty whore" routine in private. It was fun, but, well, fuck it, I got sick of it, and I was 21 and wanted to fuck everything that moved. She stroms up to me in the middle of the cafeteria all full of attitude, swearing like a teruetts patient, aand all the while, I'm smiling, nodding and just flowing with it. She loses it mid swear and says: "What the Fuck are you Still smiling about?"
I calmly motion for her to sit. She does. I put down my knife and fork, wipe my mouth and look at her. By this time about 2000 people are staring at the scene, or pretending not to be. I stand on my chair, then the table, leaned down towards her and pointed while I shouted "I FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS!"
She looked horrified, fled the scene, and i got a round of applause from my friends. A few people thought I was a prick for it, but, well, her friend was HOT!
Thats my story.

Josh

Pipecrew · 08-26-2003, 10:18 AM

***************STORY #3************

you probably don't have time for fluff..so i'll cut to the story

this involves a friend of mine who was dating this stuck up snob..she was rich and kinda attractive so she thought she was all that..you know the type. So this girl has to be the leader in everything she has to have the best of the best and everything...pretty much means she can never be humiliated. So she would constantly put down my friend in front of her friends saying shit like he's stupid and forgetful and things like that..when he wasnt around she would tell everyone how he was terrible in bed..she 'd use this to get attention. She would say things like "i need a lot more in a guy he just can't please me they way i deserved to be pleased" blah blah and so on. She pretty much wanted everyone to know that she was getting laid on the regular and she was experienced. My friend didnt know this was going on so i felt it was my duty to let him know..obviously i exaggerated the story but who wouldn't ..i hated the bitch. So my friend is a pretty tolerant guy but when u tell a guy that his girl says he sucks in bed and that he isn't exactly packing much (she didnt say that last part i added that in) so his pride was involved now and he was pissed...now i thought he was gonna do something bad but 3 weeks went by and nothin happened..so one day i was like what the fuck ur gonna let this btich babble forever. NOW things get interesting. He takes me over to his house and tells me what he's been up to the last week...So a cpl days go bye and a few ppl are getting together at my friends place to watch soemthing or other can't remember. Now it turns out his girlfreind and her sister used to make fun of him infront of other ppl..saying he was a dork and stuff..which doesnt make sense cause why would u go out with the guy..i guess she like the whole i'm better than u thing...a little info on his gf sister... SHES A HOE...moving along. So we're all watching TV..only a few of us like 6 ppl including his gf and her sister...My friend says calmly "i heard there are some jokes going on about me"..everyone is silent..i have balls so i'm like yeah apparently in bed your like a corolla ..zero performance...everyone laughs.. His gf tries to be all cool thinking like its not a big deal...she goes "face it ur not the best i've had i was just telling everyone that ur not that great...before she can continue all u hear is "oh fuck thats good oh god..ur amazing oh god..." its his gf recorded on his computer...and he was playing it back...so everyones like whoooooooaaaaaaaa shit ...his gf is red in the face ...she's like we are so fucking over your an ass your lucky you went out with me no girl would ever fuck you...she's going buck like beyond crazy...now her sister is all like trying to calm her down...she still yelling shit like if i ask any girl u've been with they would say the same ur impotent bastard...blah blah...my friend walks over to his closet and pulls out a girls belt one of those flat ones where they go threw one loop and then another...on it says "babe" he walks up to her gf sister and says oh i've been meaning to returning...on your way out why dont u tell ur sister how good i was..or would u like to here more from my computer...he was bluffing he never taped him boning her sister....but it didnt matter because his gf ran out half crying and her sister followed completely speechless...the rest of us are laughing our ass off...we decided to take him out and get him drunk because he deserved it big time...

Pipecrew · 08-26-2003, 10:21 AM

********* Story # 4 ***********

Yo JUD,

Relationships END. Don't let her CON you into this "We can just be FRIENDS" Bullshit. SEVER TIES MY MAN!!!!!!!! Anyway, I had an ex-girlfriend (who by the way is CANADIAN) a few years back and basically, this chick just out of nowhere fucking ruined me. We had never had any fights or anything but she basically shows up at my place. I had justbought a new pack of RUBS and some wine for the evening. This was in mid AUGUST about this time of year in 1996. Anyway, I gots all my shit in order
for the evening, and she comes over and sits next to me on the couch. My roomates are all working this night and I am ready for some FUCKIN all over the house because no one will be around. She lays her head in my lap and she takes my shorts off and starts givin' me a quite nice smoker. Then all of a sudden, she puts my unit back in my underwear and just lays there. She
isn't really saying anything and I am a bit confused as I was just getting a hummer while watching the L.A. Dodgers game and all of a sudden, no more hummer.

I was like, "Hey you wanna go to my room??" No response. This is getting weird I think. I say, "What's up??? Do you want some wine??" No response. I asked her a couple of other things and she didn't say a word. SO as a joke (or so I thought) I say, "What???? Are you dumping me???" I laugh at the preposterousness of such a concept. She finally says quitely,
"Yeah."

Needless to say, It was quite a blow (not literally). I got her off my lap and went into my room and looked at myself in the mirror shocked that after three years with this bitch, she would not only dump me, but tease me with a 'LAST BLOW JOB' that I don't even get to finish.

Well, being that her birthday was in September a couple weeks off, I had given her an early B-Day present a week or so earlier of two front row tickets to see RUSH along with some real ornate and expensive Chinese sculptures. She liked RUSH a lot (perhaps due to their CANADIANNESS) and so I paid almost $200.00 AMERICAN for these tickets and gave them to her for us
to go. Then I got dumped as hereinbefore explained, and I found out that she had been "Hanging out" with an old friend of her's named Dan in the months leading up to the break up. She lets me know that they had, "AT LEAST KISSED......." prior to her severing our relationship. SHe wouldn't say anything beyond that but she implied that more took place which I later
found out, it did.

Not one to take being JILTED lightly, I stopped talking to her. But what REALLY chapped my ass was to think of her and her new QUEER-FUCK boyfriend sitting in the front row to see RUSH. I don't even LIKE RUSH but still, I buy the fucking tickets and she fucks me over right before theconcert???????? I don't EVEN FUCKING THINK SO!!!!!! SO I got my plan into gear. I went to her Junior College and found her car in the parking lot. I used my copy of her car key to open her vehicle and low and behold, there
was one of the Chinese Scuptures I gave her and her Birthday card with theRUSH tickets still inside!!!!!!!!! I thought to myself, "NO BITCH FUCKS ME OVER." Then I took the scuplture and the tickets and left a note signed byme saying, "Thanks for the memories. Enjoy your birthday!!!" I then pawned the sculpture, (getting ALMOST 40% of what I paid for it). I also
posted at my University that I had two front row RUSH tickets for the upcoming show. I got so many interested parties, I ended up not only selling the tickets to a cute freshman chick, but I got $20.00 more than the ticket price per ticket. This REALLY pissed off my Ex who kept leavingmessages shitting on me and saying that NO ONE takes back gifts and that I was a cheap asshole and all this.

Here though is where GOD really took care of me. I was able to buy pretty good Laker tickets with my sculpture/RUSH tickets proceeds for a gamein L.A. against the Celtics which kicked ass. What REALLY kicked ass was that I took one of my Ex's coworkers who is hot and has fake tits. She gaveme a Blowjob in the car on the way home from the game and word soon got
around at their place of work. Apparently, my girlfriend became so upset and nauseous at hearing about it that she had to leave work to go home andcry. This was great in itself but what is better is that while I never did get to fuck my ex's coworker, about a month later I ended up hooking up with the freshman cutie that bought the RUSH tickets off of me and went out with
her for 2 years......before she also dumped me!!!! I can't win!!!!!!!!!!

Hope this helps you out man. One more thing though.....Go look at yourself in the mirror, pause, and then ell, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
THIS BROTHA'S FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then get yourself back out on the market and bird dog some beaver.

Sincerely,

G.W

Pipecrew · 08-26-2003, 10:21 AM

************** STORY # 5 ***********

THis is the most fucked up one

i use to be nice to these little ladies who took niceness for weakness and walked on me whenever they could. i learned quick though that it's o.k. to be nice but at the same time i make it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to piss me off. i've told each girl i've been with the past 20 years exactly that, "don't piss me off because you won't like having me pissed at you." no woman controls me emotionally" because i won't allow it because i learned they'll use your emotions against you. if you do get hurt don't let them see it. here's a few examples of what i'm talking about and one story of how i split with my first wife. i tell each girl that if they want to be with me that if they try to change me in any way then i'll walk - accept me as i am or don't come around. a girl about ten years ago said something eerily similar to what your ex said about taking a break. we were in the car about 15 miles from where we lived. i hit the breaks, stopped, and told her to "get the fuck out." followed this up with 'if you don't get out, i'll park and drag your scrawny ass out the door.' she got out and i drove off. three days later she calls and asks to talk. i told she knows where i live and come over if she wants. she gets here and before too long she's crying and apoligizing because she's 'just confused.' shortly thereafter she sucking my dick and swallowing a huge load of which i got a few pictures. a few minutes after that i told her to get out because "i don't need no confused bitch in my life." she wanted the pictures but she didn't get them. still glance at them from time to time. now for the good story of my split with my first wife. was in the marine corps and stationed overseas when i got pulled into my c.o.'s office and informed my wife had been arrested stateside for drugs and being with another man on my home base. i was flown back stateside immediately and we were entered into base counseling. after a few months she got over wanting to be with that other guy and that's when i decided to get my payback. (this incident is what taught me some valuable lessons some of which i've shared) don't get me wrong i loved her but i knew that if it happened once it would happen again. so one night we were going at it hot and heavy. she believed that everything would be o.k. between us. nope. after a good fuck, we were in a good old 69 position chowing down. what she failed to realize is that i had eaten a big can of baked beans and my stomach was rumbling. now i'm on top and when i felt it coming i raised up putting all of my weight on top of her chest pinning her down and i had my legs trapping her arms so she couldn't move at all. i grunted and pushed down hard and shot a long runny stream of shit right into her face while she cried out. getting up i used a towel to clean any shit off me that had splashed up off her face and i heard her sobbing her ass off as what had just happened. standing there i said matter of factly, "all yea whore i want a divorce." and proceeded to walk out. she didn't even show up for the divorce proceeding in arizona. now to top it all off i ran across her again about a year ago here in Maryland where we're both from and this is sixteen years later. she comes up to me and says she's sorry to me and wondered why we split up. i reminded her that i used her face for a toilet and she said she understood and still wants to be with me. i have more good stories about this and some other 'adventures' with women i've experienced over the years. i think you'd get a kick out of them. now remember next time your ex shows up tell her it'll cost a blow job to get entry. later.

Your Buddy
Lawrence

untitled · 08-26-2003, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by puresexnow
Good friends are people you can share a good laugh with...

it's widely established that women generally have a terrible sense of humour and are incapable of being funny on their own... men don't have them as friends.

So true!!! They just retell others jokes or steal 'em, and they have all these stupid inside jokes that aren't even funny when they explain them, i hate those!

sherie · 08-26-2003, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by untitled

So true!!! They just retell others jokes or steal 'em, and they have all these stupid inside jokes that aren't even funny when they explain them, i hate those!

Neither of you know any women do you??

gezzed · 08-26-2003, 11:14 AM

Those are some funny stories, thanks for the read Pipecrew.

untitled · 08-26-2003, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sherie
Neither of you know any women do you??

not many, considering there aren't many real women nowadays, so i'll be hitting it and quitting it untill i find someone worth commiting to.

if a girl has alot of guy-friends that aren't mutual she's a needy insecure attention whore who's only worth keeping around for sex while your seeking other girls.

FlyingIguana · 08-26-2003, 11:47 AM

damn i;ve been going about picking up woman all wrong. i'm gonna give them shoes then ask them out. fuck all this small talk shit.

this thread is gold!

BeHeadR · 08-26-2003, 11:48 AM

Pipecrew in the future could you please refrain from topics such as this one....

YOU ARE FUCKING UP MY 'GAME'!!

[Labret] · 08-26-2003, 11:50 AM

whores. every single god damn one of them.

"guy friend" is chick code for "guy Ill be fucking next". If they havent fucked them already.

Mackone · 08-26-2003, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FATPad
If your worried your gf is going to fuck her friends, then get a new gf.

Fuck you

Mackone · 08-26-2003, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nathan

If you are so scared that your girlfriend will cheat on you, dump the bitch! Otherwise, laugh in the guy's face, he won't get what he wants to have...

Fuck you too

untitled · 08-26-2003, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mackone

Fuck you too

you seem very insecure, the kinda guy that gets cheated on or dumped for a guy friend

sherie · 08-26-2003, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by untitled

not many, considering there aren't many real women nowadays, so i'll be hitting it and quitting it untill i find someone worth commiting to.

if a girl has alot of guy-friends that aren't mutual she's a needy insecure attention whore who's only worth keeping around for sex while your seeking other girls.

Let me guess, your around 18-21 and still live at home??

The only people that are insecure are you whiney pants bitches who can't handle a woman having a male friend.

untitled · 08-26-2003, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sherie
Let me guess, your around 18-21 and still live at home??

The only people that are insecure are you whiney pants bitches who can't handle a woman having a male friend.

20 and have my own place, and the only person who's insecure is a girl who needs a bunch of guy friends. it's all about attention, they get off on it. these are the kind of girls who'll do gang-bang flics, the kind of girls who were sluts in high school, and we all know sluts are insecure needing constant affirmations that they're desirable. they just learn in they're early 20's that they can manipulate and control men without giving it up and still enjoy themselves.

BlackCrayon · 08-26-2003, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by untitled

20 and have my own place, and the only person who's insecure is a girl who needs a bunch of guy friends. it's all about attention, they get off on it. these are the kind of girls who'll do gang-bang flics, the kind of girls who were sluts in high school, and we all know sluts are insecure needing constant affirmations that they're desirable. they just learn in they're early 20's that they can manipulate and control men without giving it up and still enjoy themselves.

you're an idiot.

LiveDose · 08-26-2003, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by C_U_Next_Tuesday
you guys are paranoid..lol

i have mostly guy friends...who are my friends cause they dont have sexual intentions towards me. My hubby has good girlfriends ..so the same goes for him...It all about the trust in a relationhip...cause ultimately your partner is the one that makes that decision to fuck around... not the friends.

haha

sounds like one big happy circle jerk...

BTW 'Evian' spells 'naive' backwards...lol

untitled · 08-26-2003, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlackCrayon

you're an idiot.

Maybe if you get on sherie's side you'll score some points

and when she's weak and vulnerable you can go for the kill lol

08-25-2003, 02:07 PM	#102
Angry American Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 245	And as far as being secure, that's not the problem. But I can tell the true friends my girl has from the slimy one's and can usually trick them into giving themselves away because they're normally the dumb jock type. It's those cute, yuppie, colledge grad, turd suckers you usually have to beat the shit out of or pistol whip in the face! __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

08-25-2003, 02:09 PM	#104
plsureking bored Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: PORNCMS.com Posts: 4,882	popular subject. wonder if it'll hit a grand? __________________ PornCMS / low cost large library paysite management

08-25-2003, 02:20 PM	#109
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Men are just as naive with their female friends, any chance their female friends get and they'll jump the guys bones!! U know, women are just as horny as men, if not hornier! __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

08-25-2003, 02:33 PM	#115
Libertine sex dwarf Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 17,860	Without going through reading the entire thread, here's what just happened to me: After having been with my girlfriend for 3 years, last week she dumped me (through sms even). I spoke with her today on icq, because I wanted to know why she did it through sms. That part isn't relevant. However, what is relevant: She had a male friend. She believed "he wasn't interested in her at all", and said "she wasn't interested in him at all" either. Within a week of dumping me, she's dating that very same guy. Now, she even told me that she finds him rather boring, and "empty" when she speaks with him. After talking with me, she even said she might want to take me back in the future (yeah right... like there's a chance in hell of that happening). The moral of the story: when your girlfriend has male friends, if you break up, they will jump in immediately while she's weak and in doubt, and quickly kill off any chance of the both of you ever getting back together. __________________ /(bb\|[^b]{2})/

08-25-2003, 02:54 PM	#121
the Shemp congrats to the winners Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Echo Beach Posts: 10,891	i thought we were talking shoes here... __________________ i use Vacares...so should you Submit your picture galleries to my site...Outlaw TGP

08-25-2003, 02:59 PM	#124
dig420 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 9,240	nathan turn on your icq, I have a programming question

08-25-2003, 03:13 PM	#129
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	If anything can be learnt by this thread, the true way to a womans heart is by purchasing nice Shoes.

08-25-2003, 03:35 PM	#131
Angry American Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 245	Shopping for underwear/lingere would definately beat shopping for shoes! Unless you got a foot fetish? __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

08-26-2003, 10:17 AM	#132
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	I had a little Contest on my Site, I said the best 5 stories about Ex Girlfriends will win access to for 1 month to there favorite paysites or I will just send them a link with 600mb of my own paysites movies.. As you can imagine, the freaks came out of the woodwork. These are the Top 5.... I got tons of fucked up ones but these were the best of the best haha. In No particular Order *********STORY # 1 ************* hey bro, hows the single life treating you? i can tell you its much funner than being locked down with a gf, thats for sure. no whining about watching sports everyday, nobody bugging you to change the light bulbs cuz there too damn short, no bitchin when you forget shes right next to you so you accidentally stare at that hot ass blonde chicks tits so hard you trip over the fountain in the middle of the mall, no guilt trips about caring more about your car than your woman, none of that shit. i know because i just broke up with my girlfriend of almost 5 years and now realize what i was missing out on. theres a lot of horny bitches out there! anyway i've been checking out your site regularly and thought it was pretty funny that you wanted to hear stories about fucked up stuff we've done to women. heres one to get started: around christmas of last year i met a girl through a friend of mine. all of us (me, my friend, my brother, the girl, and her friend) went to the mall to hang out and do a little xmas shopping. well, the girl (i'll call her Amber) turns out to be smoking hot! shes a brunette with shoulder length hair, about 5'8", nice ass and a simply amazing rack. i'm talkin tits from heaven. they're perfect. and they're big! the only drawback was that shes about 5 yrs younger than me. but hey, barely legal is still legal so its all good. so we're hanging out and she stats asking me if i'm single. stupidly i actually tell her i've got a girlfriend. i can see shes disappointed but we keep talking and having fun. she even helps me pick out clothes for my girlfriend. (glad she did cuz i didn't know what the hell to get her.) oh, by the way, by this point i had been told me a couple key pieces of information. first, she waxes. everywhere. second she gets really horny for a couple days every month. and this was one of the days. things were looking good so we went back to my friends and had a few beers. Amber is getting really comfortable, hanging on me and being all touchy feely so i decide its time for me to leave. its about 2:30am at this point and i drive around the corner to my house. just as i was hoping there are headlights behind me. the girls get out and are like "hey can we come in with you, we uh, um, need a uh, glass of water..." i was like hell yeah! we go in and the other girl goes to the living room woth my bro. Amber heads straight to my room like she's got a radar lock on it. we sit down on the bed and she attacks me. her toungue is immediately down my throat, and in no time her shirt and bra are on the floor. did i mention how perfect those tits are? WOW! perky 36 D's, firm, happy nipples. my hands and mouth are all over her chest and soon shes in my pants. before i know it shes completely naked and sure enough, that pussy is smooth as silk, and dripping like a faucet. and its super tight, just grasping my finger. she gets my cock out out and literally starts begging me to fuck her. i had never had a girl beg me like that! hell, i cant even remember any girl so desperate for anything. but of coarse my stupid ass didnt have a single rubber anywhere in the house. (the girlfriend, who didnt live with me, was on the pill so i figured i wouldnt need any. wrong) well i didn't want to disappoint her but i wasnt about to get some college freshman pregnant. so i did what any self respecting guy would do. pushed her head down until her lips were in the perfect position to start sucking. she seemed a little hesitant at first and made me promise i'd let her know when it was time. i said yeah, yeah, now get to work. and work she did. that girl had one seriously talented mouth. i mean she had to have at least 3 toungues to do the things she doing. i was loving it! soon enough i felt it coming on so i told ok, here we go. she didnt hear me (maybe i just thought i said it, who knows) but i figured that was her problem, not mine. so she kept right on slurpin and all of a sudden BAM! jiz all over her face, down her throat, on her neck, everywhere. and she looked pissed. i had never seen such a hot chick, so naked, and looking so fucking mad. then she started to gag... and coughed up a mouth full of cum which of coarse she spit out all over my shirt. and that was my favorite shirt damnit! by that time it was like 4am and i realized i had to wake up in 2 hours so i could go to court. i told her i had to get some sleep and that she needed to get the fuck out. she was like "but i'm not even dressed yet, can i at least use the bathroom" "NO! time to go!" i push her out of my room and towards the front door as she fumbles to put her thong back on. i get her outside and throw her the rest of her clothes and tell her that her friend is already waitng in the car. then i run back to my room and look out the window to get one last look at that magnificent rack. those tits have to be the eigth and ninth wonders of the world. the best part is a couple hours later i was in court and i kicked ass! the judge loved me and handed me the case on a silver platter. when i got home i decided i needed to wash the shirt but that damn stain wouldnt come out. so i just wore the shirt anyway cuz it was my favorite shirt and all.oneday my girlfriend noticed the huge stain. she didnt even bother to ask how it got there or what it was. she just made me take it off and told me to leave. i figured i was dead busted but a while later she showed up at my house holding the shirt and smiling. "Look! I got the stain out for you. Good as new!" she said. true story. well hope you enjoyed the story. and if you didnt too bad, hehe. you can still hook me up with some free links = ). and how bout some hot ass girl movies! no nasty slut that looks like her face just got kicked in by a rabid mule, and fucked a stranger for change to get on the bus so shecould get back to the corner and score some crack so she could get high and forget all about her 3 kids that were now being kicked by the mule that had kicked her so many times in the face. women... cant live with 'em. cant get laid without 'em. -jeremy **************STORY #2***************** OK, here's a true to life one, kinda proud of it I was seeing this girl in college, nice, clean cut sort of girl, but she really, REALLY loved anal. Couldn't believe it, she looked like the proverbial girl next door, but moaned like a whore when I hit the back door. Anyway, I found out that one of her friends had a thing for me, and, well, that friend invited another over to "get rid of" a bottle of tequila. One thing lead to another, and I end up with both of them in the lounge, while my flatmates slept jus the other side of the brick wall (Damn I loved college) She found out about this in a matter of days, I'd pretty much had it with her "Prim and proper" image in public, and "dirty whore" routine in private. It was fun, but, well, fuck it, I got sick of it, and I was 21 and wanted to fuck everything that moved. She stroms up to me in the middle of the cafeteria all full of attitude, swearing like a teruetts patient, aand all the while, I'm smiling, nodding and just flowing with it. She loses it mid swear and says: "What the Fuck are you Still smiling about?" I calmly motion for her to sit. She does. I put down my knife and fork, wipe my mouth and look at her. By this time about 2000 people are staring at the scene, or pretending not to be. I stand on my chair, then the table, leaned down towards her and pointed while I shouted "I FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS!" She looked horrified, fled the scene, and i got a round of applause from my friends. A few people thought I was a prick for it, but, well, her friend was HOT! Thats my story. Josh

08-26-2003, 10:18 AM	#133
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	*************STORY #3********** you probably don't have time for fluff..so i'll cut to the story this involves a friend of mine who was dating this stuck up snob..she was rich and kinda attractive so she thought she was all that..you know the type. So this girl has to be the leader in everything she has to have the best of the best and everything...pretty much means she can never be humiliated. So she would constantly put down my friend in front of her friends saying shit like he's stupid and forgetful and things like that..when he wasnt around she would tell everyone how he was terrible in bed..she 'd use this to get attention. She would say things like "i need a lot more in a guy he just can't please me they way i deserved to be pleased" blah blah and so on. She pretty much wanted everyone to know that she was getting laid on the regular and she was experienced. My friend didnt know this was going on so i felt it was my duty to let him know..obviously i exaggerated the story but who wouldn't ..i hated the bitch. So my friend is a pretty tolerant guy but when u tell a guy that his girl says he sucks in bed and that he isn't exactly packing much (she didnt say that last part i added that in) so his pride was involved now and he was pissed...now i thought he was gonna do something bad but 3 weeks went by and nothin happened..so one day i was like what the fuck ur gonna let this btich babble forever. NOW things get interesting. He takes me over to his house and tells me what he's been up to the last week...So a cpl days go bye and a few ppl are getting together at my friends place to watch soemthing or other can't remember. Now it turns out his girlfreind and her sister used to make fun of him infront of other ppl..saying he was a dork and stuff..which doesnt make sense cause why would u go out with the guy..i guess she like the whole i'm better than u thing...a little info on his gf sister... SHES A HOE...moving along. So we're all watching TV..only a few of us like 6 ppl including his gf and her sister...My friend says calmly "i heard there are some jokes going on about me"..everyone is silent..i have balls so i'm like yeah apparently in bed your like a corolla ..zero performance...everyone laughs.. His gf tries to be all cool thinking like its not a big deal...she goes "face it ur not the best i've had i was just telling everyone that ur not that great...before she can continue all u hear is "oh fuck thats good oh god..ur amazing oh god..." its his gf recorded on his computer...and he was playing it back...so everyones like whoooooooaaaaaaaa shit ...his gf is red in the face ...she's like we are so fucking over your an ass your lucky you went out with me no girl would ever fuck you...she's going buck like beyond crazy...now her sister is all like trying to calm her down...she still yelling shit like if i ask any girl u've been with they would say the same ur impotent bastard...blah blah...my friend walks over to his closet and pulls out a girls belt one of those flat ones where they go threw one loop and then another...on it says "babe" he walks up to her gf sister and says oh i've been meaning to returning...on your way out why dont u tell ur sister how good i was..or would u like to here more from my computer...he was bluffing he never taped him boning her sister....but it didnt matter because his gf ran out half crying and her sister followed completely speechless...the rest of us are laughing our ass off...we decided to take him out and get him drunk because he deserved it big time...

08-26-2003, 10:21 AM	#134
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	******* Story # 4 ********* Yo JUD, Relationships END. Don't let her CON you into this "We can just be FRIENDS" Bullshit. SEVER TIES MY MAN!!!!!!!! Anyway, I had an ex-girlfriend (who by the way is CANADIAN) a few years back and basically, this chick just out of nowhere fucking ruined me. We had never had any fights or anything but she basically shows up at my place. I had justbought a new pack of RUBS and some wine for the evening. This was in mid AUGUST about this time of year in 1996. Anyway, I gots all my shit in order for the evening, and she comes over and sits next to me on the couch. My roomates are all working this night and I am ready for some FUCKIN all over the house because no one will be around. She lays her head in my lap and she takes my shorts off and starts givin' me a quite nice smoker. Then all of a sudden, she puts my unit back in my underwear and just lays there. She isn't really saying anything and I am a bit confused as I was just getting a hummer while watching the L.A. Dodgers game and all of a sudden, no more hummer. I was like, "Hey you wanna go to my room??" No response. This is getting weird I think. I say, "What's up??? Do you want some wine??" No response. I asked her a couple of other things and she didn't say a word. SO as a joke (or so I thought) I say, "What???? Are you dumping me???" I laugh at the preposterousness of such a concept. She finally says quitely, "Yeah." Needless to say, It was quite a blow (not literally). I got her off my lap and went into my room and looked at myself in the mirror shocked that after three years with this bitch, she would not only dump me, but tease me with a 'LAST BLOW JOB' that I don't even get to finish. Well, being that her birthday was in September a couple weeks off, I had given her an early B-Day present a week or so earlier of two front row tickets to see RUSH along with some real ornate and expensive Chinese sculptures. She liked RUSH a lot (perhaps due to their CANADIANNESS) and so I paid almost $200.00 AMERICAN for these tickets and gave them to her for us to go. Then I got dumped as hereinbefore explained, and I found out that she had been "Hanging out" with an old friend of her's named Dan in the months leading up to the break up. She lets me know that they had, "AT LEAST KISSED......." prior to her severing our relationship. SHe wouldn't say anything beyond that but she implied that more took place which I later found out, it did. Not one to take being JILTED lightly, I stopped talking to her. But what REALLY chapped my ass was to think of her and her new QUEER-FUCK boyfriend sitting in the front row to see RUSH. I don't even LIKE RUSH but still, I buy the fucking tickets and she fucks me over right before theconcert???????? I don't EVEN FUCKING THINK SO!!!!!! SO I got my plan into gear. I went to her Junior College and found her car in the parking lot. I used my copy of her car key to open her vehicle and low and behold, there was one of the Chinese Scuptures I gave her and her Birthday card with theRUSH tickets still inside!!!!!!!!! I thought to myself, "NO BITCH FUCKS ME OVER." Then I took the scuplture and the tickets and left a note signed byme saying, "Thanks for the memories. Enjoy your birthday!!!" I then pawned the sculpture, (getting ALMOST 40% of what I paid for it). I also posted at my University that I had two front row RUSH tickets for the upcoming show. I got so many interested parties, I ended up not only selling the tickets to a cute freshman chick, but I got $20.00 more than the ticket price per ticket. This REALLY pissed off my Ex who kept leavingmessages shitting on me and saying that NO ONE takes back gifts and that I was a cheap asshole and all this. Here though is where GOD really took care of me. I was able to buy pretty good Laker tickets with my sculpture/RUSH tickets proceeds for a gamein L.A. against the Celtics which kicked ass. What REALLY kicked ass was that I took one of my Ex's coworkers who is hot and has fake tits. She gaveme a Blowjob in the car on the way home from the game and word soon got around at their place of work. Apparently, my girlfriend became so upset and nauseous at hearing about it that she had to leave work to go home andcry. This was great in itself but what is better is that while I never did get to fuck my ex's coworker, about a month later I ended up hooking up with the freshman cutie that bought the RUSH tickets off of me and went out with her for 2 years......before she also dumped me!!!! I can't win!!!!!!!!!! Hope this helps you out man. One more thing though.....Go look at yourself in the mirror, pause, and then ell, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! THIS BROTHA'S FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then get yourself back out on the market and bird dog some beaver. Sincerely, G.W

08-26-2003, 10:21 AM	#135
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	************ STORY # 5 ********* THis is the most fucked up one i use to be nice to these little ladies who took niceness for weakness and walked on me whenever they could. i learned quick though that it's o.k. to be nice but at the same time i make it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to piss me off. i've told each girl i've been with the past 20 years exactly that, "don't piss me off because you won't like having me pissed at you." no woman controls me emotionally" because i won't allow it because i learned they'll use your emotions against you. if you do get hurt don't let them see it. here's a few examples of what i'm talking about and one story of how i split with my first wife. i tell each girl that if they want to be with me that if they try to change me in any way then i'll walk - accept me as i am or don't come around. a girl about ten years ago said something eerily similar to what your ex said about taking a break. we were in the car about 15 miles from where we lived. i hit the breaks, stopped, and told her to "get the fuck out." followed this up with 'if you don't get out, i'll park and drag your scrawny ass out the door.' she got out and i drove off. three days later she calls and asks to talk. i told she knows where i live and come over if she wants. she gets here and before too long she's crying and apoligizing because she's 'just confused.' shortly thereafter she sucking my dick and swallowing a huge load of which i got a few pictures. a few minutes after that i told her to get out because "i don't need no confused bitch in my life." she wanted the pictures but she didn't get them. still glance at them from time to time. now for the good story of my split with my first wife. was in the marine corps and stationed overseas when i got pulled into my c.o.'s office and informed my wife had been arrested stateside for drugs and being with another man on my home base. i was flown back stateside immediately and we were entered into base counseling. after a few months she got over wanting to be with that other guy and that's when i decided to get my payback. (this incident is what taught me some valuable lessons some of which i've shared) don't get me wrong i loved her but i knew that if it happened once it would happen again. so one night we were going at it hot and heavy. she believed that everything would be o.k. between us. nope. after a good fuck, we were in a good old 69 position chowing down. what she failed to realize is that i had eaten a big can of baked beans and my stomach was rumbling. now i'm on top and when i felt it coming i raised up putting all of my weight on top of her chest pinning her down and i had my legs trapping her arms so she couldn't move at all. i grunted and pushed down hard and shot a long runny stream of shit right into her face while she cried out. getting up i used a towel to clean any shit off me that had splashed up off her face and i heard her sobbing her ass off as what had just happened. standing there i said matter of factly, "all yea whore i want a divorce." and proceeded to walk out. she didn't even show up for the divorce proceeding in arizona. now to top it all off i ran across her again about a year ago here in Maryland where we're both from and this is sixteen years later. she comes up to me and says she's sorry to me and wondered why we split up. i reminded her that i used her face for a toilet and she said she understood and still wants to be with me. i have more good stories about this and some other 'adventures' with women i've experienced over the years. i think you'd get a kick out of them. now remember next time your ex shows up tell her it'll cost a blow job to get entry. later. Your Buddy Lawrence

08-26-2003, 11:14 AM	#138
gezzed Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 317	Those are some funny stories, thanks for the read Pipecrew.

08-26-2003, 11:47 AM	#140
FlyingIguana aspiring banker Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: toronto Posts: 10,870	damn i;ve been going about picking up woman all wrong. i'm gonna give them shoes then ask them out. fuck all this small talk shit. this thread is gold!

08-26-2003, 11:48 AM	#141
BeHeadR Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Santa Barbara Posts: 1,152	Pipecrew in the future could you please refrain from topics such as this one.... YOU ARE FUCKING UP MY 'GAME'!! __________________ ICQ 40402622 The only sig on GFY without spam!

08-26-2003, 11:50 AM	#142
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	whores. every single god damn one of them. "guy friend" is chick code for "guy Ill be fucking next". If they havent fucked them already.