How many of you are Anti-Social?

[mal]

have any of you all tried to get help with your antisocial behavior by seeing a therapist, joining support groups or taking medication? my social anxiety is ruining my life. i sit at home all depressed and never go out because i dont have many friends. im in college and i never participate in class discussions which is part of my class grade. i dont work because im scared to communicate with random people all day long. i need help asap or else i'll end up dropping out of college and kicked out of my house. what steps are you guys taking to become less antisocial.

[Libertine]

Sounds like me.

You should go to your doctor, get referred to a psychologist, then he'll set you up with a support group and maybe give you meds. Meds can help, but behavioral change is essential, and support groups can help with that.

[Gnat69]

I really don't know what to tell ya, but for me I have always had no trouble being sociable. You have to think about it this way, if there is something that your passionate about you have to get out there. I have a mainstream company and as much as I wish people would just buy my stuff I know that most need to be informed about what you do, so I tell anyone and everyone, the more you do this the easier it will become.

Hang out more with what friends you have and just drag your ass out and even if you just greet peeps when your walking down the street will also help build your confidence....

It will happen for you if you want it, but no one will do it for you.....(c:

But also remember drugs are not the anwser!!!

[polish_aristocrat]

have you thought about taking xanax and stuff like that?

ask Juicy for some recommendations ;)

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by Gnat69

I really don't know what to tell ya, but for me I have always had no trouble being sociable. You have to think about it this way, if there is something that your passionate about you have to get out there. I have a mainstream company and as much as I wish people would just buy my stuff I know that most need to be informed about what you do, so I tell anyone and everyone, the more you do this the easier it will become.

Hang out more with what friends you have and just drag your ass out and even if you just greet peeps when your walking down the street will also help build your confidence....

It will happen for you if you want it, but no one will do it for you.....(c:

But also remember drugs are not the anwser!!!

That's like telling someone suffering from depression "you just need to cheer up".

[G-Rotica]

The only anti-social behavior I have every demonstrated, involved a pool stick and a dudes head. Other than that I like people. Can't help ya here.

[Babagirls]

i've been anti social since i was kid, and it only gets worse with age. started when i was in like Kindegarten and my teacher asked us all a question and i raised my hand and my answer was wrong and she MOCKED me in front of the class to the point of humialiation. ever since then, i've been "shy" (aka anti-social) all my life....afraid i'll say something wrong and be laughed at...then came high school, i was still *HIGHLY* anti social but then fell into doing Speed (snorting) and so the popular chicks would snort up with me in the bathroom...that helped actually (the whole acceptance by "cool people" thing).

anyways, now as a sober adult working from home, I'm even that much more anti-social. Unfortuantly, the only "cure" for me in situations where i get anxiety attacks/fear of being social is to take a few shots or drink about 4 beers to calm down. I need to seek some counsling or something. Just dont know where to start.

[seeric]

im the opposite. i go nuts if i am not around tons of people and having a great time daily.

[punker barbie]

even the most social ppl come accross this issue.

i for one am one of them. i sit at home alone work on my computer and the most interaction i have is over the phone or via ICQ. i try to get out at least twice a week. oh and i also suggest smoking some pot it helps ease anxiety

[Canibal-7]

I used to have the same problem. I eventuallu got over it by just being myself and not giving a fuck what others think. I think that's the best way. Also, as someone else here said, start off by just saying hi to people you know on the street, try to get into casual conversations about stupid stuff like the weather, sports, whatever. Those things help.


Good luck!

[KRL]

I think what anti-social types like is the control they have within their own small world. When you go out in public settings you give up that control and become more vulnerable.

I like being around people, but just as well, I've always been perfectly content working alone and doing things alone. I like going to lunch or dinner or social gatherings with friends or just going out and doing things myself. So I guess I'm in the middle zone of both types.

More and more people though are becoming socially isolated because of the Internet. There is no doubt about that at all. I know a lot of people that used to be very outgoing types who are now more stay at home and online types. So the Net is having a major impact on society.

Also, the older you get the less you tend to get out.

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by punker barbie

even the most social ppl come accross this issue.

Everyone can be shy or not in the mood for company at times, but what he is talking about could be a social anxiety disorder, which is a different thing altogether and won't just go away.

[Babagirls]

Originally Posted by punkworld

Everyone can be shy or not in the mood for company at times, but what he is talking about could be a social anxiety disorder, which is a different thing altogether and won't just go away.

BINGO!!!!
my family just always called me shy......all my life lol NO, i have damn disorder lol Cant blame them though, that was back in the day when shit was different. (before prozac, A.D.D was diagnosed, etc) Now its one thing for a kid to be shy then grow out of it, or be social with no fear but just be more reserved...that would mean "shy"...but a FEAR of being social for a long period of time in your life means ya got a problem...like i have.

[mal]

Originally Posted by punkworld

Everyone can be shy or not in the mood for company at times, but what he is talking about could be a social anxiety disorder, which is a different thing altogether and won't just go away.

yes. i have social anxiety disorder. i go to college and sit in the back, i never talk to any of my classmates and i never raise my hand to answer any of the teacher's questions. i dont like going to parties, restaurants, festivals, clubs, bars, malls..any public places. i have a girlfriend and she always wants me to chill at her doem room and meet her friends but im not willing to meet them. i have a few friends but i rarely ever call them. sometimes they will call me to go out to a bar or something but im never in the mood to go. ive never had a "real"job before. all of my jobs have been on the internet. im too scared to get a job in the "real" world. i'll be walking down the street and someone will say Hi to me and I will just look at them and not respond. im so fucked up. i need help asap!!!

[Sly]

Originally Posted by Canibal-7

I used to have the same problem. I eventuallu got over it by just being myself and not giving a fuck what others think. I think that's the best way. Also, as someone else here said, start off by just saying hi to people you know on the street, try to get into casual conversations about stupid stuff like the weather, sports, whatever. Those things help.


Good luck!

Yep. Same here. I used to be shy as all hell, but not anymore. Sometimes it seems like I'm being shy but I'm not, I just don't feel like talking, haha.

I'm wondering if self-esteem plays a role in social anxiety. I really don't care what people think of me, so I'm not ashamed or afraid of being who I am, but I can see how somebody who does care what others think could allow it to ruin themselves.

[madpayzz]

i am, i can only type on the computer

[Manowar]

weed cures it

[Jakke PNG]

I fucking hate people. I try to not interact with anyone.
Fuck that. I actually I'm good with people and very talkative and for some fucking odd reason people seem to like me, apparently I hide my disgust well.

(remember this the next time I see you at a convention, yes..you).

[Canibal-7]

Originally Posted by Sly

Yep. Same here. I used to be shy as all hell, but not anymore. Sometimes it seems like I'm being shy but I'm not, I just don't feel like talking, haha.

I'm wondering if self-esteem plays a role in social anxiety. I really don't care what people think of me, so I'm not ashamed or afraid of being who I am, but I can see how somebody who does care what others think could allow it to ruin themselves.

I think we all care at least a little what others think; the thing is to not let it trouble you.

[Babagirls]

Originally Posted by mal

yes. i have social anxiety disorder. i go to college and sit in the back, i never talk to any of my classmates and i never raise my hand to answer any of the teacher's questions. i dont like going to parties, restaurants, festivals, clubs, bars, malls..any public places. i have a girlfriend and she always wants me to chill at her doem room and meet her friends but im not willing to meet them. i have a few friends but i rarely ever call them. sometimes they will call me to go out to a bar or something but im never in the mood to go. ive never had a "real"job before. all of my jobs have been on the internet. im too scared to get a job in the "real" world. i'll be walking down the street and someone will say Hi to me and I will just look at them and not respond. im so fucked up. i need help asap!!!

except for the walking on the streets and not saying hi part, u just described me. Everytime i DO have to be around people, i TRY MY HARDEST to break the anti-social shell (like making small talk with the cashier at the grocery store when checking out, for example). Takes so much courage for me to do that. Something people do naturally, and im sweating bullets. Anti-social/Anxiety is a fucked up thing to have.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by mal

yes. i have social anxiety disorder. i go to college and sit in the back, i never talk to any of my classmates and i never raise my hand to answer any of the teacher's questions. i dont like going to parties, restaurants, festivals, clubs, bars, malls..any public places. i have a girlfriend and she always wants me to chill at her doem room and meet her friends but im not willing to meet them. i have a few friends but i rarely ever call them. sometimes they will call me to go out to a bar or something but im never in the mood to go. ive never had a "real"job before. all of my jobs have been on the internet. im too scared to get a job in the "real" world. i'll be walking down the street and someone will say Hi to me and I will just look at them and not respond. im so fucked up. i need help asap!!!

i think you are in luck...recognizing your behaviour and taking responsibilty for it is a pretty good step. Forcing yourself out is a good step as well. form a study group, you are probably able to help a few people in your classes. Use that as a tool and socialize with them as they try to get answers from you.

if you start interacting with people a bit at a time it may help

or you will be like me and say fuck it and just stay home anyway..lol

[mal]

i'll be at a friend's house (lets say his name is steve) and one of steve's friends will come over to chill. steve will introduce me to his friends(chris, sara and kelly) and i will just say Hi to them and barely say anything else to them all night long. people think im being rude but im just too antisocial to spark up a conversation with new people.

[p]mpdogg]

I may be gay, but I love all of you!

[Sly]

Originally Posted by TeenGodFather

I fucking hate people. I try to not interact with anyone.
Fuck that. I actually I'm good with people and very talkative and for some fucking odd reason people seem to like me, apparently I hide my disgust well.

(remember this the next time I see you at a convention, yes..you).

I'm not too worried, I won't be able to understand you. :-)

[Sly]

Originally Posted by mal

i'll be at a friend's house (lets say his name is steve) and one of steve's friends will come over to chill. steve will introduce me to his friends(chris, sara and kelly) and i will just say Hi to them and barely say anything else to them all night long. people think im being rude but im just too antisocial to spark up a conversation with new people.

You have to force yourself to do it. With more practice it will come easier and easier.

Its like riding a bike. The first time is difficult, you fall. The second time its a little easier. The third time you're getting the hang of it. By the 10th time you're racing down the hill chasing your dog.

[G-Rotica]

Wow. I feel bad for you peeps (no donations). I don't think I could function like that. I have to talk to people. Even the ones I don't like. Like policemen, every now and then I have to say "Yes, I understand my rights as you've read them."

[Nismo]

Originally Posted by mal

yes. i have social anxiety disorder. i go to college and sit in the back, i never talk to any of my classmates and i never raise my hand to answer any of the teacher's questions. i dont like going to parties, restaurants, festivals, clubs, bars, malls..any public places. i have a girlfriend and she always wants me to chill at her doem room and meet her friends but im not willing to meet them. i have a few friends but i rarely ever call them. sometimes they will call me to go out to a bar or something but im never in the mood to go. ive never had a "real"job before. all of my jobs have been on the internet. im too scared to get a job in the "real" world. i'll be walking down the street and someone will say Hi to me and I will just look at them and not respond. im so fucked up. i need help asap!!!

I couldn't ignore this thread cause it hits close to home with me. I'm very much like the way you descibed...or atleast I was my whole life up until the past couple of years.

Go and talk to a psychiatrist. He will tell you that you are suffering from S.A.D. and that it can be fixed with medication. They'll offer you paxil or remeron or something similar, it will help but it wont cure it. They may even try to put you in group therapy. Nothing will cure it except you. I know from expierence.

The best thing to do is to put yourself in those situations that scare you and face them head on - there is no other way. Just put yourself in public situations and say fuck it and deal with it. It can be a very hard thing to do, but very rewarding.

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by Sly

You have to force yourself to do it. With more practice it will come easier and easier.

Its like riding a bike. The first time is difficult, you fall. The second time its a little easier. The third time you're getting the hang of it. By the 10th time you're racing down the hill chasing your dog.

It just doesn't work like that.

I have the same thing as he does, although possibly more extreme. It didn't get as bad as it is now until my late teens. Before that, I was a fairly popular guy, always having people around at my place, tons of friends. My current relative isolation is not the cause of my social problems, but the result of them.

An example. Going to a store and buying something, to me, is like hell. I have done it thousands of times, yet every single time is hell all over again. It doesn't get better, no matter what. Every single time I have to do it, my heart starts pounding, I start sweating, I am barely able to talk at all, etc. Yet I have to do it almost daily.

Another example. When I go to dinner with two female friends I have both known for over a decade, I am barely able to even speak with them. I have spent hundreds, if not thousands, of hours talking with one of them, and know the other quite well too. Yet, these days, I am hardly able to say more than a few words when with them.

[Sly]

Originally Posted by punkworld

It just doesn't work like that.

I have the same thing as he does. It didn't get as bad as it is now until my late teens. Before that, I was a fairly popular guy, always having people around at my place, tons of friends. My current relative isolation is not the cause of my social problems, but the result of them.

An example. Going to a store and buying something, to me, is like hell. I have done it thousands of times, yet every single time is hell all over again. It doesn't get better, no matter what. Every single time I have to do it, my heart starts pounding, I start sweating, I am barely able to talk at all, etc. Yet I have to do it almost daily.

Another example. When I go to dinner with two female friends I have both known for over a decade, I am barely able to even speak with them. I have spent hundreds, if not thousands, of hours talking with one of them, and know the other quite well too. Yet, these days, I am hardly able to say more than a few words when with them.

Why do you think you feel like that?

I'm sure your friends think you're crazy.

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by Sly

Why do you think you feel like that?

I'm sure your friends think you're crazy.

I have absolutely no idea why I feel like that. Or, actually, I do. There is no rational "why" though, it's a disease.

And yes, my friends do think I'm crazy. I've found out that drinking makes it less, though, so I drink. A lot. So my friends think I'm a little less crazy than I am, and more of a drunk than I am.

[BobG]

Dude, you might want to check out this particular "brand" of therapy. It's called R.E.B.T (Rational, Emotive, Behavioral Therapy) and the new style shit for semi-well functioning peeps who need help in certain areas of their lives. Its short term like 6 weeks so it's not like before where you have to tell the therapist all about your childhood and bad memories about how your uncle Pete use to take you out behind the barn and all that. Definitely steer away from meds though unless you want to depend on them for the rest of your life. This type of therapy will help you depend on yourself instead of the meds. Actually all folks could stand to improve their lives and gain from this type of therapy especially those striving to get ahead in the business world.

Theres a "Find a Therapist in your city" link on this page.

http://www.rebt.org

[Nismo]

Originally Posted by punkworld

I have absolutely no idea why I feel like that. Or, actually, I do. There is no rational "why" though, it's a disease.

And yes, my friends do think I'm crazy. I've found out that drinking makes it less, though, so I drink. A lot. So my friends think I'm a little less crazy than I am, and more of a drunk than I am.

Do you feel like everyone is judging you, looking at you and waiting for you to do/say something stupid? 'Cause that's how I felt my whole life... It sucks.

[Libertine]

Originally Posted by Nismo

Do you feel like everyone is judging you, looking at you and waiting for you to do/say something stupid? 'Cause that's how I felt my whole life... It sucks.

Something like that, yeah. I still wake up in the middle of the night because of dumb things I did when I was 8

[d_train]

my anit-social behavior was brough about by my low self-esteem back in high school. I prefer sitting in one corner, doing school projects on my own, and minding my own biz. I was bullied then and I can't fucking defend myself so I just avoid people. but when I went to college I have met other people in such predicament and made friends with them.

the battle for maintaining a healty self-esteem never ends, its an everyday habit that you have to learn.

[minusonebit]

Internet users in general and webmasters and others connected with the computer trade are anti-social. And dont waste your time with the shrinks, all they do is send you a bill and give you one of those little stress balls with thier name printed on it.

[jrap]

minus the girlfriend, mal you sound exactly like me.

[rodney25]

I am not anti-social, but I prefer to work aone. In that way, i can concentrate more.

[reynold]

ive been an extrovert all my life. i cant live without friends.

[Vitasoy]

I can relate aswell, I never like going out, unless I really have to, and working at home does not help the problem.

[jackie1]

I'm also anti-social but it doesn't affect me a lot and I don't feel I need therapy or drugs cause I function fine. I hate people, but I work from home and make a very good living (a better living than I would make if I had a regular job interacting with people) so it works out for the best.

I also have a boyfriend so I guess I'm not THAT bad. I hate to leave my house as well, I always send my boyfriend out to get food, so I think I end up leaving the house only once a month, other than that to be honest I don't like to socialize or go out at all. I like to go shopping and go to the mall but I don't like going out and socializing like restaurants/bars or any of that.

But even though I'm anti-social I feel that my life is good and I can function fine, I don't feel like I need a lot of human interaction to be happy. I make a good living and can support myself just fine and that's all that matters I guess. So I can still speak up and stuff, but the one thing that is really hard for me is public speaking, I would get so anxious if I had to make a presentation that I would physically feel ill and feel knots in my stomach afterwards, but I have no problem speaking up in class.

I think my social anxiety or whatever you want to call it also started when I was young. When I was in kindergarten I already had few friends. Same in elementary. In high school I also didn't have any barely. I'm just not the type that ever made "friends", I never figured out how strangers just start talking to each other out of nowhere, it just always seemed weird to me.
In college it's even less important to make friends, as theire's less "cliques" and less of a need to be cool and fit in.

Even though I'm anti-social in one of my college English classes class participation counted and I was always the only one who raised my hand and spoke up even though I'm anti social, I'm still competitive as hell and was always "competing" for the best grade so I guess my competitiveness was so intense that it overruled my shyness.

That's why I like being a webmaster cause I dont need to socialize with anyone.

[jackie1]

Also,

I also think mine comes partly from not growing up with money so I never had the cool clothes and good haircuts or whatever in school, so it made me have bad self-esteem so I didn't have the courage and confidence to be more sociable, it sounds superficial but things like that matter when you're young, if you are different somehow it's harder to fit in and make friends. And growing up I never had the "right" designer clothes or the means to make myself over. And now that I'm older I know it's so easy, all it takes is a little money to give you the right look and help you fit in more. And even though I'm old now, that insecurity still stayed with me. No matter how successful I become or how many designer clothes I'll buy I will always feel insecure and like I don't quite fit in. I'm also constantly worried about what others are thinking/saying about me.

But I think some is also a chemical imbalance or genetics somehow. I know I'm a product of my environment but I also know some part of it is mental as well, and both combined made me really anti social.

[Mr.Right - Banned For Life]

Originally Posted by mal

i'll be at a friend's house (lets say his name is steve) and one of steve's friends will come over to chill. steve will introduce me to his friends(chris, sara and kelly) and i will just say Hi to them and barely say anything else to them all night long. people think im being rude but im just too antisocial to spark up a conversation with new people.

i am like that sometimes, i dont think it is rude, its just that you cant be fucked speaking to them, you were there to see your friend not everyone else.

[tristan_D]

I am not an anti social coz I have 500 friends in My Space

[E Guru]

You need to work on it yourserlf, day by day, step by step. Like other peopel said only you can cure it. I used to be extremely shy. When someone came into a room I didn't know I would not talk. Hell, I dropped out of school because of it. I get very nervous around people and when im nervous I can't think well. Teachers would ask me things in class and I wouldn't be able to understand (because I would forget what they said within 2nd's) due to me being nervous. Ive worked at it for about 5 years and although I still get it from time to time for the most people I can talk to most people. The only problem I have now i holding a conversion, I find that most peopel don't interest me and I really don't feel like there is a reason to talk to them unless its business. Its rare that I will admire someone, or like their personality, ect.. Not sure where that came from, but I used to like everyone. Now that I can talk to them I don't care to, sigh...

[phil_in_oz]

Go on a confidence building course....or see a doctor.

Don't worry so much what people think of you - and proper jobs are overrated anyways - stick to the web and you will earn more than any office job would ever pay you if you do it right.

[bigdog]

mal how did you ever get a girlfriend if you are so anti social?

[mal]

Originally Posted by bigdog

mal how did you ever get a girlfriend if you are so anti social?

i met her through a friend and she fell in love with me...i dunno why

[maxxx_fucktor]

You need to get along with others. Step out from your comfort zone and rub elbows with your college buddies. Dude, life is out there not in the place where you are alone.

[Pornwolf]

Gnat gave some good advice that you will hear again from any confidence building course or even doctor when addressing social anxiety:

Say hi to just 1 or 2 new people every day. Try to start a conversation if possible. Even if it's just about thinsliced lunchmeat with the female butcher at the market. Social interaction practice helps you get over the introverted feelings.

[potter]

ah life on he internet.. ruins us all.