xenigo

This girl just strikes me as being just a little... off. Is it me? Or is it her? I think she's just a little fucked up in the head!



xenigo: so you don't agree that sex brings people closer?
Myspace Girl: yep
Myspace Girl: sex is purley physical
Myspace Girl: its a selfish act
xenigo: no emotion?
Myspace Girl: the goal is pleasure for you
Myspace Girl: not emotion.. youre only concerned about the big orgasm
Myspace Girl: no w mind you if you are in a relationship then sex is extremlewy important
xenigo: what, are you kidding?? I'm concerned with that, yes... but that's not the reason I love sex.
xenigo: the only reason I introduce sex into a relationship is to bring myself closer to that person... and any girl who I am with who doesn't want to have sex, I believe has some real insecurities and emotional problems. Afraid to get close to someone, etc. Sex isn't purely physical for me at all.
Myspace Girl: wait having sex within 1 to 2 dates doesnt bring anyone closer
xenigo: omg...
xenigo: maybe not you... but it sure as hell does for me
Myspace Girl: i think thats a real distorted way of thinking
xenigo: in fact, I think it's better on the 1st date... because it's SUPER intense, and it's like charting completely uncharted territory... and if I waited like a month or so, I've pretty much already charted it without going all the way... and then it's just kinda boring when we finally fuck
Myspace Girl: hahah finally fuck
Myspace Girl: thats super emotional to say "finally fuck"
xenigo: fucking is a very emotional experience, I'm telling you... I've never had more of a raging hardon than when I've been with a girl I just met for the first time, and I'm between her legs with her panties off...
Myspace Girl: fuck isnt a word to elicit emotion
Myspace Girl: thats very closed and harsh
Myspace Girl: sounds like your looking for challenges
Myspace Girl: not getting to know someone
xenigo: alright well whatever you want to call it, I love it in many different ways besides the pure physical pleasure of it all... it makes me have this intensely fond feeling of the girl like I'm on another planet or something... like pure excstacy
Myspace Girl: lol SUCH an idealist
xenigo: and I very much consider that getting to know someone
xenigo: in a very intimate kind of way
xenigo: and I happen to think that's the perfect first date
Myspace Girl: im pretty grounded in realism .. fucking is FUCKING it has no intamacy or emotion.. again a SELFISH act
Myspace Girl: guys dont get to know me they just throw me on a bed and tune me out
xenigo: ok, well I think you've had some pretty fucked up relationships in your past. I have had some really wonderful relationships, with a few wonderful ladies. I haven't regretted anything at all.
Myspace Girl: ive never had relationships
Myspace Girl: i think i have explained that
Myspace Girl: brb
xenigo: and when I get down to fucking someone, I have full intention of being with them for as long as I can forsee... but IMO there should be no reason to not indulge insex sooner, than later. I believe that would simply be wasting precious pussy.
Myspace Girl: omg
Myspace Girl: rlmao!! you are a contridiction
xenigo: no I'm really not...
Myspace Girl: yes you are
xenigo: get this...
Myspace Girl: wasting precious pussy?!
xenigo: I don't date (screw) anyone I'm not interested in having a long lasting emotionally fulfilling relationship with.
Myspace Girl: fucking right off the bat means long lasting..
Myspace Girl: hmm
xenigo: so with that intention being laid on the table, what is the point of waiting? I believe being intellectually compatible is the same as being emotionally compatible, and I most certainly know that the girl I'm with had better know how to fuck... and fucking makes the emotional bond that much more intense... so why the hell would I not want to have sex on the first date??
Myspace Girl: well ill mental note that!
Myspace Girl: oh and if she sucks in bed?
xenigo: then there's an incompatibility, and I move on with my life
Myspace Girl: i see
xenigo: and get this... I've had it happen
Myspace Girl: thats a double standard
xenigo: no it's not at all
xenigo: because of the sex being so bad, the connection was bad as well.
Myspace Girl: well i know i appreciate your friendship but i now know id never sleep with you
Myspace Girl: lol
Myspace Girl: ill keep my precious pussy locked up
xenigo: I never felt as if I had a truely ---- a TRUE emotional bond with her... like when I came, she couldn't come... and she could never come... at all... and couldn't even UNDERSTAND the desire to have sex... so really, what happened... is it undermined our relationship. Sex is a very powerful thing, and it can most certainly make or break a relationship. And I'm not being an ass for saying that, because it's the truth.
Myspace Girl: you are bieng an ass
Myspace Girl: but i appreciate your off the cuff honesty
xenigo: why do you think I'm being an ass?
xenigo: I believe you're saying sex just isn't that important.
Myspace Girl: you want to get married but fuck on the first date
xenigo: and I think we all make decisions as far as what's important to us in relationships, right?
Myspace Girl: because you seem to think thats a "connection"
xenigo: absolutely...
Myspace Girl: fuck actually getting to know someone for thier personality
xenigo: wait wait...
Myspace Girl: sex isnt that important
Myspace Girl: making love is when im finally IN a relationship
xenigo: I think you're somehow jumping to the conclusion that I would have sex with anyone... that isn't true. I've only had sex with 6 people over the course of my entire life.
xenigo: and I'm saying I would never have sex with someone I don't fully intend on being in a fully comitted relationship with
xenigo: so how am I being anything less than 100% respectable?
Myspace Girl: noah you have known this girl for less than three weeks right?
xenigo: I'm not talking about that.
xenigo: I'm not talking about this girl.
Myspace Girl: i just dont believe in instantanious bonds
xenigo: I'm just speaking my mind.
Myspace Girl: well im using her as an example
Myspace Girl: and if you must know a dozen roses after date 3 is wierd
Myspace Girl: one is fantastic
Myspace Girl: a dozen
Myspace Girl: no
Myspace Girl: nono
xenigo: you've also mentioned that you've have relationship problems... I've sent roses to a previous girlfriend and she was sending me pictures her coworkers took of her with them at her desk at work
Myspace Girl: ive never been ina relationship
Myspace Girl: geesh
Myspace Girl: ive said that several times
xenigo: ok... so...
xenigo: I know
xenigo: so let's say I went out with you twice...
xenigo: and I really, really had a great time...
xenigo: are you saying that you'd flat out think I was insane by sending you 20 roses at work? You'd stop talking to me?
Myspace Girl: honestly
Myspace Girl: ive had 2 boquets sent to me froma guy i went out on 2 dates with
Myspace Girl: it was odd
Myspace Girl: it scared me
xenigo: ok, well maybe that's why you're not in a relationship right now
Myspace Girl: because im realistic?
xenigo: being afraid of people isn't being realistic
Myspace Girl: i am not afraid of people
xenigo: you were afraid of the guy who sent you the roses
xenigo: just like you're saying you'd be afraid of me
Myspace Girl: yeah and i was a 24 year old virgin
xenigo: ok, I was a 22 year old virgin
xenigo: not too far off
Myspace Girl: i wouldnt be afraid of you. thats too soon and it spells out lets get serious after 2 dates
Myspace Girl: one rose is appropriate
xenigo: here... lemme put it in different words...
xenigo: the girl I'm interested in being with won't be wierded out by me sending 1000 roses after the 2nd date. She'll think it's a wonderful gesture, and will have wondered where the hell I've been. Just like I'll have wondered where the hell she's been, because I've been wanting to send 1000 roses to someone that makes me feel so damn good. And get this... if they are weirded out by that, then I won't talk to them ever again. And it will be their loss. I won't even think twice about it.
Myspace Girl: thats you..
Myspace Girl: and anyone who hates on you should be out of your life.. im just giving you my unsolicited opinion .. in my line of work too much validation can be a bad thing
xenigo: I think maybe your line of work has given you a distorted perspective on the way relationships should and shouldn't be
Myspace Girl: no it hasnt
Myspace Girl: this is a job that i walk into and do and walk out and leave behind
xenigo: I mean... what could be so wrong with knowing without a shadow of a doubt that you want nothing but to be with that person? What would be so terrible about letting them know that you think they're absolutely wonderful?

xenigo

Myspace Girl: that is something i agree 100% with
Myspace Girl: but you and i have very different views on how to get to that point
xenigo: I know pretty quickly
Myspace Girl: haha fucking them
xenigo: and I see no shame in that
Myspace Girl: im very curious to see how that will work with homegirl
Myspace Girl: lol
xenigo: anyway... I don't see it as just sex. I'm not using anyone. I'm not taking advantage of anyone, and leaving anyone... I'm not hurting anyone's feelings, or preying on anyone...
xenigo: and if I'm with the person for the next 3 years, then what difference does it make if we have sex on day 1 or day 20?
xenigo: does it make it any less of a relationship?
xenigo: does it make it any less wonderful? Any less special?
xenigo: I don't think so!
Myspace Girl: ohhk im tired now.. and i havent done a lick of work
Myspace Girl: im off in an hour and a half
xenigo: alrighty... I gotta get to sleep
xenigo: I'm on a way fucked up schedule
xenigo: and I have to swap my license plates in for anonymous ones at the DMV
Myspace Girl: sorry
Myspace Girl: got booted
Myspace Girl: anyway get some sleep
Myspace Girl: ill actually post some new pics this weekend
Myspace Girl: lol
xenigo: anyway...
xenigo: I'm really not an ass
xenigo: and I'm not cold, nor insensitive
xenigo: I'm probably one of the most caring and sensitive guys you will ever meet.
Myspace Girl: you are but you know what i like you.. i think your fun and honest and i enjoy talking to you
Myspace Girl: i think a friendship with you has so much more substance and value.. and you know what i trust you most of all
Myspace Girl:
xenigo: thanks
Myspace Girl: ok your mad huh? a little debating is great
xenigo: but I don't think wanting an unbridaled, unobstructed, carefree relationship makes me an ass...
Myspace Girl: not everyone will agree with you darlin
xenigo: well let me just clarify something
Myspace Girl: ok but i dont have much time
xenigo: why would it make a difference whether I had sex with someone on day 1, or day 365... if I was with them for the rest of my life?
Myspace Girl: well you dont know if there is a rest of your life with them
Myspace Girl: my parents were married for 40 years
Myspace Girl: loveless and abusive
xenigo: well I'm not abusing, nor loveless... and I have never lived that kind of life
Myspace Girl: the old man died just like he came into the world
Myspace Girl: cussing and pissy
xenigo: well that's sad... but that's not my life
xenigo: my life is wonderful so far, and I wish to find someone who will compliment my life
Myspace Girl: i think you are over analyzing what im saying to you.. i havent changed my opinion about you .. i still like you and just because i disagree with things you say doesnt mean i hate u
xenigo: I guess... I think that you think I'm disrespectful towards women and treat people immorally, and that couldn't be further from the truth.
Myspace Girl: you are not disrespectfull or immoral..
Myspace Girl: we just think diffrently
Myspace Girl: me woman
Myspace Girl: you man
Myspace Girl: lol
Myspace Girl: hahah
xenigo: and I don't think you've lived any finer example after what you told me the other day... so I don't know how you could say that I'm living my life with any lesser integrity... especially after me stating I have every intention of only sleeping with women that I intend on spending the rest of my life with
Myspace Girl: oh wait a minute
Myspace Girl: hahah ok now im pissed
Myspace Girl: i made a mistake and admitted it
xenigo: well you were elluding to the fact that I'm not making a good decision by what I'm saying
Myspace Girl: you just called me a ho in a round a bout way
xenigo: and I'm not taking advantage of anyone, or living a life that isn't pure integrity
xenigo: and I don't think you could make the argument that you somehow fit a better example... when you told me I shouldn't feel the need to sleep with anyone on the first date.
Myspace Girl: ok you know what i thought we were having a conversation.. i wasnt attacking you i am ALLOWED to express my opinion
Myspace Girl: now you are attacking me
Myspace Girl: i know i fucked up
xenigo: I'm not really
xenigo: I'm just talking
Myspace Girl: i said its out of charecter for me
Myspace Girl: whatever
Myspace Girl: i need to get off line and now im pissed..
Myspace Girl: bye
xenigo: well I'm sorry
xenigo: I didn't mean to upset you
xenigo: but I think for anyone to want to make an argument against how I live my life, they should live their life by the same example
xenigo: anything else would simply be contradictory
xenigo: I didn't call you a ho.

acctman

is this the one you want to send flowers too?

Stallion

lol I think you need to find girls in other places besides myspace.com

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xenigo

No, this is a different chick.

strobi

Is this for real? I stopped reading halfway.. GOD you're such a wussy! If this is a setup, kind of well done, congrats. If not, grow some fucking balls.

Cassie

actually she sounds like she has morals which are hard to find these days. good for her for not sleeping around.

i do give her credit for continuing the convo with you. most able minded women would have cut it loose after a minute.

too funny. kudos to your for attempting to get in her pants. you do try.

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seeric

too much to read. myspace is for hooking up anyhow. who cares what they think.

xenigo

Um, she told me she's been fucking guys on the 1st date lately. Two of them on the same day, who were friends. And then she's knocking me for wanting to have sex with someone who I intend on having a relationship with.

So why would you think this chick has better 'morals' than I do? And aren't I the one saying I won't sleep around?

And where have I ever implied I wanted to get into her pants?

Read the conversation again, please.

georgeyw

too much to read - but from what i did read you're not doing a very good job of trying to get into her panties ;)

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Cassie

your implication was made when you stated repeatedly that you like to have sex during a first date and kept pushing the subject throughout the convo. if that isn't an implication, than i dont know what is. as far as the friends fucking on the same day, must have missed that as there was just wayyyyy too much to read. however, they are her friends and not a stranger (to assume loosely since you can't believe most of what people say).

she is right, how the hell do you know, by having sex on the first date, if you are compatiable long term? you two may be great in bed and horrible every place else. and whatever happen to getting to know someone first? i can have sex with anyone and some it it could be great but if they don't pique my interest mentally then what is the use? by having sex on the first date (if you want to call it that - a date), then i just gave myself to someone who didn't earn it.

sex and love are completely separate but i would rather be into someone and give myself to the person who earned it rather than being a skank ho.

oh and speaking from a woman's perspective, sending 20 roses that soon into a "relationship" = stalker.

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Monique Niccole

She doesn't seem warped. It just seems like your game was transparent and she wasn't buying into all that yadda yadda about having sex on the first date bringing you closer.

uno

I agree with you. Quick physical intimacy brings me closer.

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Tricksy

It seems like you have lots of free time :-)))

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BlackCrayon

i agree gvfdgf

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Persignup Dustin

Ahhh Myspace broads...

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brand0n

if you read all that youve got way to much free time

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xenigo

I'm talking to you, just like I was talking to her... and we're talking about the same subject. I don't want to have sex with you, or her. Thanks for assuming, though.

They were both strangers because she had met them that same night. I've talked to her about this in previous conversations.


When I know, and she knows... and we're interested in more than just a one-night thing that everyone in this thread is assuming I'm into, then it's not a one-night thing anymore.

Sex and love are closely intertwined. The emotions from one lead to, and intensify another, and vice versa. That's one of the reasons women find it so hard to have sex with a man without having intense emotional attachment towards him. Same situation with a guy, to perhaps a lesser degree.

And you won't find any psychologist that would disagree that sex and love are indeed closely intertwined.

BlackCrayon

i think you're confusing infactuation and attraction with 'love'. how can you know that much after one night? i've known some girls for years and come to realize, i never really knew them much at all.

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wdsguy

I can't believe I wasted part of my time reading this.

xenigo

That's a good question, and it's something I honestly can't articulate. I'd like to though. I'd say that you're probably right on by describing it as infatuation. I wrote a blog on this a while back, and that was the word I used to describe it too.

But that's what I want. I want to be infatuated right off the bat, and I want it to be reciprocated 100% and fuck like wild monkeys from day 1. I think a strong mutual infatuation is much more intense than love, but you're right though... love is simply knowing someone on a much deeper level.

I don't think that's such a horrible thing.

CreamXtreme

Not closeness.

Myspace is proliferated with young teen age girls - most of them with serious, if not severe mental problems.

Although it is not myplace to say about anyone else, I would certainly stay away from that place. Not only because, knowing personally several young ladies either related to me, or daughters of friends that frequent that place, who are most certainly troubled - the police crawl all over that site.

As a personal note - closeness in a relationship to me, comes from kindness of the heart, mind and soul. I personally can be extremely close to someone else without having sex with them.

Just my opinion - not that it matters much and a real stern warning - "You Play With Fire, You Get Burnt".

Nick

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Cassie

xegino sex and love aren't intertwined unless two people make it that way.

you can love someone and never have (or want to have) sex with them and you can have sex with someone and never love them.

i never said you wanted to have sex with me. please read my post again.

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Cassie

sex is not an emotion nor does it create an emotion (at least not in someone who knows the difference). sex is an action. most often, people take that action and create or apply it as an emotion; most of the time a false emotion.

what creates and intesifies love is the respect, admiration and adoration one has for another. sex does not do that although often enough, people make the mistake that it does.

**meant to edit my post but couldnt**

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TurboAngel

Sorry but you really believe that? It was 2 dates right? I think that was nice but I'm used to getting flowers so I don't find that stalkerish, well back in the good old day's when I didn't have a b/f.

Cassie

i do believe that and i should have said from my perspective and those i know.

i never let a guy give me flowers because flowers die! therefore my thinking is that if flowers die, it most likely means that relationship will. warped thinking to some but it's my own guarding device which is prolly a good reason why i won't be in a relationship. i am the reason for my own relationship demise; that and having a criteria list longer than the san fran bridge.

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TurboAngel

Now I understand thanks, I don't know but there's just a great smell though out the house when you have flowers and I do find that rather nice myself.

xxxdesign-net

I havent read much but sounds like the girl is way smarter than you and you havent figured it out...

Btw.. "xenigo: ok, well I think you've had some pretty fucked up relationships in your past. I have had some really wonderful relationships, with a few wonderful ladies. I haven't regretted anything at all."

That's so lame... "I'm better and more sane than you..!" .. and she did't buy it at all..

BlackCrayon

i think you are discrediting sex a bit too much now. yes, sex is not love and sex is an action but its closest you could every phsyically be with someone. i mean you are inside them or they inside of you after all.

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keyDet79

Sounds to me like you are attracted to hot looking girls. Girls you would like to fuck the moment you see them are the kind you are looking for to be in a long lasting relationship with. Girls that aren't hot, you don't want to have as a long-term partner.

She's not weird, you are, because you fail to see that. I have had good relationships with girls which I did not want to fuck from day one. Those feelings came later after I got to know them. Not all my partners were the hottest women.

So, it's a bunch of crap. Sex is much better with someone you love, and when you know the other person cares about you too. It's a totally different feeling, when I fuck whores they are nothing but a body for me. But that doesn't mean I don't respect those women, or wouldn't want to try to have a relationship with them. But it's two different things. I don't think you have ever been in love either, and by sending someone 20 roses after you fuck makes them think you are not a social person, a newbie when it comes to love and relationships.

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chase

I kinda follow you, as far as the fact that even if everything else if perfect, if the sex isn't good then eventually it will end, so why not know from the get-go if that's the case or not.

However, girls get played all the time by guys who ACT like they want a relationship just long enough to tap that ass and then they never call again. So they look at it as, hey, there's a chance he's fucking with me, so I may as well drag it out as long as possible to get to know him and vice versa, and if he's just playing, hopefully he'll get bored and move on before he gets the ass.

It's not a good plan, really, because players will play the game as long as necessary.

For me, it depends on the chemistry. My first date after my divorce went really well and we did wind up in bed. And, ya know, he never called me again. My fault for falling for the BS, but hell, I'm glad we didn't date for six months and maybe I really would have had my heart broken when he finally got the pussy and walked away. *shrug* As it was, it stung a little, being my first experience back in the dating pool, but there's nothing like a trial by fire to give you a reality check, lol.

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G-Rotica

She sounds pretty well grounded to me. And I did read all of it. You on the other hand...

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xenigo

Exactly. I think you're the first person to really understand what I'm saying.

chadglni

Yes, you sound like a complete idiot. Wait, was that the question?

Doctor Dre

She's probably been raped a couple times and have hate toward guys ... or something like that.

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nico-t

what the fuck!