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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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How do I get a hooker for Valentine's Day w/o my wife finding out? Tips?
How do I get a hooker for Valentine's Day without my wife finding out? Tips?
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#2 |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,713
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Just book your wife from her pimp anonymously, and when she arrives, wear a disguise...
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,038
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don't use your credit card
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#4 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,203
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make sure the whore cannot walk anymore
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,135
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get her someone to keep her busy too!
haha! it's been a while. |
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#6 |
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Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 38,323
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Tell her you were out shopping for a gift for her...
Be sure to have a gift!!! ADG |
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#7 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W
Posts: 6,882
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Send her over, I will keep her busy until you get free.
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#8 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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You have a genius for this!
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#9 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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You haven't seen my wife
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#10 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,733
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You could start by not posting it on a forum she might one day read?
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#11 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,885
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#12 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Paddyland where it always fucking rains
Posts: 43
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#13 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: www.here.com
Posts: 59
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and how she will find out? just do it ;)
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#14 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,419
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First off, pick up your wife a present. Preferably something that will fit into your pocket so you can keep it stashed on you without her knowing about it. Whatever you can hide on yourself, grab it. Doesn't have to be anything expensive.
Rent a motel room. Buy some cigarettes and beer while you're at it. Pick up your hooker/lady friend. Fuck the living shit out of her. Send her packin'. Get a shower. Start drinking. Get really drunk or pretend you're really drunk (spill a bit of beer on yourself here and there) and smoke a ton of cigarettes. If you don't smoke, light them and let them burn in an ash tray right beside of you. This way their smell will be all over you. Call your wife from the motel and tell her to come pick you up. You were out with one of your friends and his girlfriend at a bar. All three of you got trashed and you some how got separated from them. Tell your wife you think they snuck out to go screw around and you think they forgot about you cause they were drunk. She'll ask why you were at a motel. Tell her you were drunk and didn't want to risk being charged with public intox. Better to waste $60 bucks on a cheap motel room rather than to get a fine of $1,000, right? By this time you get into the car with her she will want to kick you out. You will smell like old cigarettes and cheap beer. Hey, it's better than smelling like old lady and cheap pussy, right? When you get home you should now get yourself another shower as quickly as possible. Lock the door to the bathroom. Set the gift you got her earlier some where in the bathroom where it will not get wet. Finish up and head out of the bathroom. Tell your wife you picked a little something up for her. You and your buddies had secretly went out V-Day shopping that day and picked it up for her. On the way back is when they decided to stop in at the bar and you really had nothing to do with that decision. Your wife will love you forever and ever. She will also most likely give you some ass. Take it, you should feel like a hero by now. Just think, you'll be pumping away at her and she will never know you fucked some trashy hooker with the very dick you're punishing her with. This will be a journey. Good luck, my new friend. |
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#15 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,423
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Quote:
Dude, either you've been in this situation, or you have some serious issues
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#16 |
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I need a beer
![]() Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
Posts: 133,949
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Pay cash for your hotel and escort
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#17 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,419
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Quote:
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#18 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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im looking for a hooker on valentine's day
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#19 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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Quote:
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#20 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,419
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#21 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Manila, Philippines
Posts: 6,960
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first and foremost, why do you want to get a hooker, then? just make love to your wife.
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#22 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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Quote:
"Make love"? They are gonna revoke your pornographer's license for that!
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#23 |
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Make STACK$
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: sexy time
Posts: 14,449
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pay cash and use discrete email address, like yahoo and use a cell phone that is untraceable ...ooh yeah
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Compound interest. |
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#24 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Every where at the moment.
Posts: 367
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lol !
dont take her to your house and no credit card and no from same area (dont shit in your own backyard) good luck |
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#25 | |
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H.B.I.C.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NC
Posts: 30,122
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Quote:
Wow! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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#26 |
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In Tushy Land
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 40,149
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lol awesome story
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#27 | |
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Too lazy to wipe my ass
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: A Public Bathroom
Posts: 38,713
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Quote:
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#28 |
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Just Du It
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 12,094
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#29 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,082
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Why do you need to get a hooker on Valentines Day of all days? I mean, it might make some kind of sense if you were single, but it seems kind of twisted because you're married and you're doing it behind her back.
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#30 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 36
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Any way to get your wife involved and get a hooker for the two of you? This way the hooker can focus on satisfying your wife and you can focus on the hooker.
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#31 | |
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Adult Design Since 2003
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: s2odesigns.com
Posts: 4,784
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Quote:
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#32 | |
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www.AdultCopywriters.com
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 31,619
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Quote:
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#33 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: --> . <--
Posts: 2,267
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have you tried burying her?
That usually stops them from finding out about the stupid shit. |
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#34 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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Let me guess. You are a girl?
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#35 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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I'm thinking not.
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#36 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 189
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#37 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,082
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I'm a girl, but I don't have any problems with getting hookers...I think they're great and serve a great purpose. If you don't mind me saying, I just think it's kind of sad you need to lie to your wife on valentine's day so that you can get one...for yourself. I guess some men need to lie to their wives/significant others about that kind of thing, and I guess I can understand that, but like I said, it just seems kind of fucked up that you need to do it on valentine's day.
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#38 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 36
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I think he's kidding (right?) but still it's a shame you don't find your wife attractive. I'm a girl too, so I feel bad for your wife.
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#39 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Valley
Posts: 7,412
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__________________
-D. ICQ: 202-96-31 |
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#40 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,599
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![]() ![]() ![]()
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#41 |
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Unregistered Abuser
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 15,547
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what goes around comes around
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#42 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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Huh? How else would I get a hooker on Valentine's Day? I need some romance.
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#43 | |
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Pounding Googlebot
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 34,497
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Quote:
You put way too much effort into planning all that, lol. WG
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#44 |
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Crazy Aussie Bastard
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home.
Posts: 16,787
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Celebs Adult Who's Who ==> Ambush Interview ==> ICQ 293 070 684 ==> intmarpacrim AT gmail DOT com |
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#45 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,419
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#46 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 548
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none of the hookers even answered their phone. everyone had the same i idea i guess
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#47 | |
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The Profiler
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: ICQ 76281726 and I'm female
Posts: 14,618
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Quote:
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#48 |
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in a van by the river
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 76,806
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Call the Anal Hobit Im' sure he has some tips..
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In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator. |
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#49 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,419
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#50 |
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Join The Royal Family
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 25,463
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Lol @ the responses
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