How do I get a hooker for Valentine's Day w/o my wife finding out? Tips?
 

How do I get a hooker for Valentine's Day without my wife finding out? Tips?

Just book your wife from her pimp anonymously, and when she arrives, wear a disguise...

don't use your credit card

make sure the whore cannot walk anymore :)

get her someone to keep her busy too!
haha! it's been a while.

Tell her you were out shopping for a gift for her... :thumbsup

Be sure to have a gift!!! :2 cents: :winkwink:

ADG

Send her over, I will keep her busy until you get free.

You have a genius for this!

You haven't seen my wife

You could start by not posting it on a forum she might one day read?

:1orglaugh how does she look?

and how she will find out? just do it ;)

First off, pick up your wife a present. Preferably something that will fit into your pocket so you can keep it stashed on you without her knowing about it. Whatever you can hide on yourself, grab it. Doesn't have to be anything expensive.

Rent a motel room. Buy some cigarettes and beer while you're at it. Pick up your hooker/lady friend. Fuck the living shit out of her. Send her packin'. Get a shower. Start drinking. Get really drunk or pretend you're really drunk (spill a bit of beer on yourself here and there) and smoke a ton of cigarettes. If you don't smoke, light them and let them burn in an ash tray right beside of you. This way their smell will be all over you. Call your wife from the motel and tell her to come pick you up. You were out with one of your friends and his girlfriend at a bar. All three of you got trashed and you some how got separated from them. Tell your wife you think they snuck out to go screw around and you think they forgot about you cause they were drunk.

She'll ask why you were at a motel. Tell her you were drunk and didn't want to risk being charged with public intox. Better to waste $60 bucks on a cheap motel room rather than to get a fine of $1,000, right?

By this time you get into the car with her she will want to kick you out. You will smell like old cigarettes and cheap beer. Hey, it's better than smelling like old lady and cheap pussy, right?

When you get home you should now get yourself another shower as quickly as possible. Lock the door to the bathroom. Set the gift you got her earlier some where in the bathroom where it will not get wet. Finish up and head out of the bathroom. Tell your wife you picked a little something up for her. You and your buddies had secretly went out V-Day shopping that day and picked it up for her. On the way back is when they decided to stop in at the bar and you really had nothing to do with that decision. Your wife will love you forever and ever. She will also most likely give you some ass. Take it, you should feel like a hero by now. Just think, you'll be pumping away at her and she will never know you fucked some trashy hooker with the very dick you're punishing her with.

This will be a journey. Good luck, my new friend.

:1orglaugh Dude, either you've been in this situation, or you have some serious issues

Pay cash for your hotel and escort

Lol. Nope. Never been married, screw all of that. Just woke up and I was bored so I started rambling. Not to mention I'm a writer. It's either that or I'm just plain evil. :angel

im looking for a hooker on valentine's day

i like the happy ending

Are you sure? I could have ended it with a twist ending. :winkwink:

first and foremost, why do you want to get a hooker, then? just make love to your wife. :)

"Make love"? They are gonna revoke your pornographer's license for that!

pay cash and use discrete email address, like yahoo and use a cell phone that is untraceable ...ooh yeah

lol !

dont take her to your house and no credit card and no from same area (dont shit in your own backyard)
good luck

Wow!



:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

lol awesome story :)

Bots dont have a pornographer's license :)

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Why do you need to get a hooker on Valentines Day of all days? I mean, it might make some kind of sense if you were single, but it seems kind of twisted because you're married and you're doing it behind her back.

Any way to get your wife involved and get a hooker for the two of you? This way the hooker can focus on satisfying your wife and you can focus on the hooker.

best advice so far! :thumbsup

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

have you tried burying her?

That usually stops them from finding out about the stupid shit.

Let me guess. You are a girl?

I'm thinking not.

lmaoooo word!

I'm a girl, but I don't have any problems with getting hookers...I think they're great and serve a great purpose. If you don't mind me saying, I just think it's kind of sad you need to lie to your wife on valentine's day so that you can get one...for yourself. I guess some men need to lie to their wives/significant others about that kind of thing, and I guess I can understand that, but like I said, it just seems kind of fucked up that you need to do it on valentine's day.

I think he's kidding (right?) but still it's a shame you don't find your wife attractive. I'm a girl too, so I feel bad for your wife.

:1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

what goes around comes around

Huh? How else would I get a hooker on Valentine's Day? I need some romance.

You put way too much effort into planning all that, lol.
WG

I was bored. :winkwink:

none of the hookers even answered their phone. everyone had the same i idea i guess

Cute chicks :thumbsup

Call the Anal Hobit Im' sure he has some tips..

That's a shame.

Lol @ the responses