This is perfect for pete kt. seriously.

Be nice.

Hey Teach! Do we get extra credit?

I was a bartender for many years. I've always thought sex...or teasing with the possibility of sex...was a commercial commodity.

hmmm, my son wants to start with this. . . maybe I should let you train him

Okay. Sex is a commodity. We know. I think what many of us are missing is the fact that not only is it a commodity, it's human nature. Sex does sell. We're the ones who try to sell it.

There's something wrong there, though. IF sex sells, then why do we have to TRY to sell it instead of letting it sell itself?

I need a soda. Fuck.

Sorry -- it took a little longer than expected to get Jack out of the Box -- :winkwink:

So what's the scenario we're gonna discuss?


Without a doubt, the women of the industry are our most precious treasure -- more so than the techology that distributes their images, or the deals that create billions in wealth for us every month.

I would defer to any women in the industry reading here tonight, who might wish to offer selena some comparison to her experiences as a bartender...


2HP

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that they were the same thing. :) Just that the notion of women using (or being used) sex as a commodity was common, in my view.

How about that? I'm a writer, ex bartender, and in both, I've seen sex used to sell LOTS of things. It's a very common commodity.

However, being a writer, while enjoyable for the most part, doesn't pay the bills as well as one would hope. There's got to be a better way.

~beams a smile~

Well, hello, from one fellow ex-'tender to another, Miss Tala.

Pleasure to meet you. I've read alot of your posts.

Pleasure is mine, I assure you. Most of the posts probably start out, "Good Morning GFY"

What'll ya have? I'm closing up late, so keep 'em coming, and no, a good tip is NOT a quarter, but thanks for playing.

50..........

Hi woj. Fucker, sit down.

Tala, didn't I read somewhere that you had started a dominatrix blog?

I may be very confused. I get that way. :)

If I'm not, how is that going?

I did, and yet with all the upheaval in recent life, I just don't have the heart for it anymore.

I think part of my main problem is having too many interests. Thus I tried to do something with each interest. It proved to be too much.

Now I have ONE site I'm actually working with. ONE. I write for others, but my one site is my baby now and it's the only one I'm dealing with, which makes for MUCH less stress. :thumbsup

E-mailed you let me know! :thumbsup

You've just hit on something that is a huge issue for me, Tala. I have it outside of business. Then when you take it inside business, and you look at the vastness of the adult online industry, it can overwhelm and string you way too far in too many directions.

Or it did me. I got nothing done, for trying to get everything done.

email sent, curious

An honor -- :)


2HP

Ding ding ding, we have a winner!

Same shit happens to me. I have so very many varied interests that it's difficult for me to focus on one thing unless I absolutely have to.

I've discovered that I have to now. So here I am, learning as I go. :thumbsup

Me, too.

Add onto that raising three kids alone, and I sometimes feel like I'm on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride or that crazy teacup ride at Disney.

The teacup ride kicks ass. But the Haunted Mansion rules.

Thank God I'm not the only one who gets off track and unfocused.

I've given myself serious talkings to over being such a fuck up. :)

And I hear you, chase. I'm a single parent of 2, so that adds to the fun.

I don't have an children in my custody, so that knocks me out of that arena, however I begin to wonder if many of us lack the single-mindedness that so many others seem to have. This might be one of our problems, as well as one of our rare gifts.

The only thing that helps me at all is to make a loose list of what I want to accomplish that day. Life is just too unpredictable with two toddlers to map out a set schedule, but at least if I have that list staring me in the face, it helps keep me from going off on a tangent....well, from going TOO far off on one anyway, lol.

See, the list thing doesn't seem to work for me. I end up ignoring the list. :(

This kills me alot too, i have so many pokers in the fire and so many jobs and ideas half mapped out that few ever make it off the drawing board. Dont kid yourself, this is procastination at its best. Its not easy to tackle and i found the best way for me (right lists dont work) but i try to label everything with a level of importance and try to spread my time across them, so i still tinker and fuck with ideas and plans that may not go anywhere, but at the same time am accomplishing and completing new things every week.

Works for me, atleast so far..heh

I hear ya, that's why I have to put it up where its in my face all the time.

In fact, when I first started doing it, I would have to print off several copies and I would put one on the fridge, one on my door...even one in the bathroom, lol.

I do think though that if we can channel our scatter-brained selves, we will probably be more effective at multi-talking than the hyper-focused type. It's just getting it under control that is the hard part.

In Chio The Pirates first serious post where he put asside the pirate for a minute, he mentioned a GREAT tool to set up your daily/monthly goals and tasks you want accomplished, it has multi user and security levels for companies as well...its sharp as hell.

Heres the link for it.

http://www.dotproject.net/ Its worth a look...

Thanks Chio

I read once that it's not procrastication for the sake of laziness by any means, it's more procrastination because of perfectionism..you know, the "why start it unless I can finish it RIGHT".

I am guilty of that, like in housework..if I only have twenty minutes, I think, well, you know it will take me forty-five to clean the (fill in the blank here) so I'll just do it later, when I have the time. Then it's the next day and I'm kicking myself because now I have twice the mess to clean.

I am starting to see a parallel in work, and it's really hard to push part that and tell myself, well, yeah, but twenty minutes put in is better then none.

I'm interested. I emailed you (jacob (at) sadsoft (dot) com). Anyways, I'll keep this thread open so I can check back as advised. Take it easy

YARGH! Welcome! Alas it wasn't me first serious post. I be doin' them all the time. Do a search for posts started by me (in my profile) and you will see the dashes to me red x's.

Thank you, and Chio, I'm checking it out now. Good friends of mine developed a fantastic project management software application, but I can't afford it, lol, especially since I'm the only user, ya know, so open source works for me, lol!

Sorry to lapse so long -- trying to stay on top of those e-mails. Thank you -- :)

The issue of women in the industry is truly a good place to start. So much of what is opined about this business derives from the ways our cilture and other cultures define the role of women. There are many places in the world -- some not so far away as you might guess -- where the role of women may be veneered in a rhetoric of reverence, but is harnessed, in practice, by their treatment as property, as a "reproductive resource", as the objects of men -- rather than something more balanced, more self-determining, more fulflled.

I have my own views on the subject, but rather than risk alienating anyone who may uphold a more traditional / conservative view of the gender roles, I will say simply that to understand our industy's situation in the national and global culture, you should study the ways in which gender biology gave rise to the fundamental behavior schism that exists in some way in all cultures of the world, and the ways in which that Basic Separation, present in each culture, has given rise to modern expectations of sexual propriety -- and therefore, to the various opinions of pornography you will encounter on the streets of the world.

The problem with the basic objection one hears about pornography is that it contains an enormous hypocrisy (or conflict of interest, depends how you look at it). It seems very few men are prepared to INTEGRATE WITH ALLOWANCE the behaviors in women they most appreciate in the pornographic material they consume. And for women, I would say the conundrum is knowing that their men will respond with sexual enthusiasm to one thing a woman may do at one moment, then condemn (to the point of the death penalty in some places) that same behvavior when observed at a less secure moment for him. Women also worry, I suspect, that even the most sincere demonstrations of approval during sex, veil a condemnation and misogyny that lies always ready to strike them at other moments. The combination of these two dynamics is what drives most men and women APART when they are pursuing sexual truth in themselves, even if they are in the same bed. Porn exists in the middle of that tug of war.



2HP

You've got my interest. Although (or quite possibly because) I've been working for an adult company for the last 4 years, I've done nothing on my own during that time, and have learned very little of value to myself. I'll send you an email shortly. But for now my man's calling me to help with the plumbing (literally).

I sent you one email please pick me .
Thanks

Totally agreed, my father used to say, perfectionism is just procrastination in french....heh no offence he married a french girl so he had internal knowledge

Damn i fucked the quote right up...hahah

And my bloody head is pounding to much to remember it right!

Ah, the eternal madonna vs. whore conflict.

I can relate to that. When I first decided to get involved in the industry, my husband was pretty excited about it. He enjoyed nice perks, too, like sleeping with two other women in the biz who needed a stunk cock. I was never insecure about how he felt about me, so I didn't over-intellectualize and emotionalize what was a purely physical reaction to another woman. As time goes by, and he sees the attention I am getting, he begins to think this is less and less fun...and before you know it, he's asking me to quit the biz. Which I did, as a last ditch effort to solve other problems in teh relationship.

Point being, that while he was excited about me exploring my sexuality, and he was proud that I belonged to him....the more HE over-intellectualized and emotionalized the idea of me having a sexuality that existed apart from him, and our relationship, (even though I was never with another man!), the less comfortable he was with that sexuality.

Great job H2P.

I dont have much time to offer, but if you need my assistance in anyway I'd be happy to try and help.

Good luck to all those embarking on this new journey!

/edit probably wont be able to find this thread again, if you want to take me up on my offer contact me on ICQ. :thumbsup

You are ALL "picked" -- LOL.

It is that desire that no one be excluded which has lead me to the best idea I could come up with for achieving the objective I described at 5:15 this morning. If there were just 5 or even just twenty of you, I think I could still some time to each of you during the day or night. But, given the size of the interest, what makes best sense to me is that we convene here each day (on this thread) where we can have a general discussion and a Q&A. Then, during "off-hours" (whenever that is --lol) I will discuss goals and plans at the person-to-person level. One obvious benefit of doing it this way is efficiency, another is giving all who come later to benefit from all that has been (will be) discussed here, still another benefit is that by doing it this way, I can invite some of the industry's best minds to come share here with you also, in the areas of their special expertise.

This is a good time to put down what areas of the business you are interested in learning about, and I will do my best to bring the industry's best and brightest in those fields to share the value of their familiarity and experience with all who come to read and ask questions.


2HP