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Old 05-17-2005, 11:59 PM   #1
Dagwolf
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Top Ten Things Never Before Said By A "Star Wars" Character

10. C-3PO: "May the Force be with the Miami Heat--daddy's got 20 large riding on them."
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:00 AM   #2
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You guys probably think I'm just cutting and pasting this stuff, don't you?
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:00 AM   #3
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9. Storm Trooper: "Ask your doctor or pharmacist if Cialis is right for you."
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:01 AM   #4
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Tell me if you don't like these "top 10" threads. I don't really care, but I appreciate the bumps.
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:01 AM   #5
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8. Ewok: "Seacrest, out!"
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:02 AM   #6
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7. Darth Maul: "The only good thing ever to come from planet Earth is fish sticks."
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:02 AM   #7
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6. R2-D2: "I just hooked up backstage with an ice machine."
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:02 AM   #8
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5. Imperial Guard: "The only people more powerful than I are Emperor Palpatine and Oprah."
."
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:03 AM   #9
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4. Chewbacca: "We got spaceships and lightsabers, but nobody can find me a damn razor."
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:03 AM   #10
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3. Jango Fett: "Let's put on some Al Jarreau so me and you can get freaky."
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:03 AM   #11
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looks identical to the Late Show's top ten last night with David Letterman. Must be a coincidence.



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Old 05-18-2005, 12:03 AM   #12
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2. Tuscan Raider: "How bad is CBS screwed without 'Everybody Loves Raymond'?"



(This sounds better when Letterman says it).
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:04 AM   #13
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And the number one thing you'll never hear from a star wars character:


1. Darth Vader: "I once used the force to open a jar of Vlasic kosher pickles
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:04 AM   #14
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You should put these up every day, i sometimes miss the show.




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Old 05-18-2005, 12:05 AM   #15
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<-----Tuscan Raider
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:06 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A1R3K
You should put these up every day, i sometimes miss the show.





Good idea. Maybe I'll do that.
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:11 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by Dagwolf
Good idea. Maybe I'll do that.

We can have Dave's Top Ten With Dagwolf!
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:13 AM   #18
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Top Ten Reasons To Watch Britney Spears And Kevin Federline's New Show Presented by Britney and Kevin Federline


10. Britney: "There's never-before-seen footage of me wrestling and alligator."

9. Kevin: "Unlike those 'Desperate Housewives' chicks, we're not, like, 60 years old."

8. Britney: "It's like 'American Idol' except no one sleeps with Paula Abdul."

7. Kevin: "In the first episode, you can see my ass."

6. Britney: "I'm hot."

5. Kevin: "She's hot."

4. Britney and Kevin: "We haven't had nearly enough media coverage."

3. Britney: "It's gotta be better than this show."

2. Kevin: "If enough people tune in, maybe my wife will make out with Madonna again."

1. Britney: "In the season finale, you'll find out Dave is the father of my baby--oops."
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:13 AM   #19
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Sure post them but do them all in one post... we don't need 15 different posts for one top ten list!
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:13 AM   #20
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Top Ten Rejected Forrest Gump Sayings


10. Clinton is, as Clinton does.

9. My name is Forrest Sawyer.

8. Who's the black private dick that's the sex machine to all the chicks? Gump!

7. Yabba Dabba Duhhhhh

6. Jenny and me, we're like Tonya and Gillooly

5. Mama always told me, 'Just about anyone can get himself a talk show.'

4. You are correct, oh great one.

3. Man, did I look goofy on that old 'Love Boat' episode.

2. Life is like a date with Madonna. You never know what you're going to get.

1. Mama always said, 'Bite me.'
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:14 AM   #21
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Top Ten Ways to Tell that the NYC Cop Arresting you is a Playboy Playmate


10. Grills you for two hours about your "turn ons" and "turn offs"

9. Tells you, "You have a right to remain naked"

8. Her badge number is 38 double "D"

7. She restrains you with her cleavage

6. For the first time in your life, you enjoy being handcuffed

5. When she signs her name on your summons, dots "I"s with a happy face

4. Says "Book 'im, Hef"

3. You find yourself praying to be strip searched

2. Her partner says, "Spread 'em" and she does

1. First words: "This is a bust!"
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:15 AM   #22
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Top Ten Signs You're on a Bad Cruise


10. Lavish buffet turns out to be three bags of Doritos and a quart of Pepsi.

9. Welcome aboard drink made with tetracycline and erythromycin

8. When you ask the cruise director where the lifeboat is, he points to a fat guy.

7. It's 10 AM, and Captain Hazelwood has a thermos full of martinis.

6. Not only is Kathie Lee there, but also that elephant that tramples people.

5. Ship doctor only qualified to give tattoos

4. You have to share a room with Captain Stubing.

3. Gopher is an actual gopher.

2. You wake up with barnacles all over your ass.

1. Name of the boat: The S.S. Amtrak
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Old 05-18-2005, 12:16 AM   #23
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Top Ten Things Overheard at the Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie Presley Wedding


10. Family to the left, plastic surgeons to the right

9. She could've used a little more of his eye-liner.

8. I bet they didn't have to get married.

7. I'll have to ask you to check your snake at the door, La Toya.

6. I'm sorry, I can't find a Brooke Shields on the guest list, ma'am.

5. There's that strange whirring sound again -- as if some deceased rock star were spinning in his grave.

4. I got you some his and hers towels. Split 'em up however you like.

3. I'm Mr. Tito Jackson. You mean Dr. Tito Jackson? Yes I am.

2. Ahhh! The ghost of Elvis is eating all the cake -- oh, it's just Liz Taylor.

1. I just heard on the weather channel -- hell froze over.

Back
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Old 05-18-2005, 01:52 AM   #24
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are those supposed to be funny?
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Old 05-18-2005, 02:01 AM   #25
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Are you trying to meet a quota? ;)
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Old 05-18-2005, 02:14 AM   #26
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Beware! I live!

Sinistar was badass.
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Old 05-18-2005, 02:15 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vitasoy
Are you trying to meet a quota? ;)

Sort of. I want to be Juicylinks when I grow up.
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