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Old 09-27-2004, 08:26 PM   #1151
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:26 PM   #1152
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Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:27 PM   #1153
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A: Six. One to turn the bulb one for support-and four to relate to the experience.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:28 PM   #1154
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Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:28 PM   #1155
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:28 PM   #1156
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A: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:29 PM   #1157
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Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:29 PM   #1158
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A: None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:30 PM   #1159
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Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:31 PM   #1160
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A': None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:31 PM   #1161
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Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:32 PM   #1162
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A: None. That's a hardware problem.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:32 PM   #1163
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Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:34 PM   #1164
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A: None. That's a software problem.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:34 PM   #1165
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Q: How many FSE's does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:35 PM   #1166
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A: Who can tell. FSE's are always in the dark.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:35 PM   #1167
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Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:36 PM   #1168
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A: As many as you want; they're all virtual-anyway.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:37 PM   #1169
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Q: How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:37 PM   #1170
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A: None. There's a primitive for that.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:38 PM   #1171
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Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:38 PM   #1172
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A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:39 PM   #1173
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Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:40 PM   #1174
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A: Only one-but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:41 PM   #1175
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A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:41 PM   #1176
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Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:42 PM   #1177
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A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:43 PM   #1178
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Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:43 PM   #1179
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A: None. ("That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...")
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:44 PM   #1180
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Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:44 PM   #1181
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A: Only two-but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:45 PM   #1182
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Q: How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:46 PM   #1183
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A: Just one-but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:46 PM   #1184
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Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:47 PM   #1185
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A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:47 PM   #1186
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Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:48 PM   #1187
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A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:49 PM   #1188
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000 years.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:49 PM   #1189
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Q: How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:50 PM   #1190
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lmao your stil at this montana?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:50 PM   #1191
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ok
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:50 PM   #1192
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A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:50 PM   #1193
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:50 PM   #1194
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:50 PM   #1195
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Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:51 PM   #1196
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:51 PM   #1197
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A: Three-but they're really only one.
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:51 PM   #1198
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k
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:52 PM   #1199
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Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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Old 09-27-2004, 08:52 PM   #1200
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