All time best Simpsons Quotes thread - GoFuckYourself.com

DarkJedi · 05-06-2004, 09:58 AM

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

- Homer

pornstar2pac · 05-06-2004, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi
"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

- Homer

my alert keyword tracker 4.5 "lottery" just went off. how are you today sir?

TheFrog · 05-06-2004, 10:00 AM

I cant believe you dont shut up, Apu

NickPapageorgio · 05-06-2004, 10:02 AM

1.
Homer -- "Thank's for nothin' light beer." While looking at stomach.

2.
Mr. Burns -- "Why are they booing me Smithers?"
Smithers -- "I don't think they are booing you sir, I think they are saying Boo-urns Boo-urns"
Mr. Burns -- "Are you saying Boo or Boo-urns"
Crowd -- "BOOO"
Old man -- "Well I was saying Boo-urns"

Magnus · 05-06-2004, 10:11 AM

"Homer wins most weight gained since high school, Homer how did you did it?"

Homer: "I started a meal between breakfast and brunch."

"Well brain I dont like you and you dont like me.. so let's make a deal"

=^..^= · 05-06-2004, 10:12 AM

mmmm donuts.. is there anything they can't do?

"marge and the monorail" episode right after the monorail gets derailed by a gigantic donut sign

Elli · 05-06-2004, 10:13 AM

WHen the aliens come and run for president.

"But it's a two party system. You have to vote for one of us!"

StacyCat · 05-06-2004, 10:14 AM

"Its just a little airborne, its still good, its still good!"

tbabe · 05-06-2004, 10:14 AM

Woman executive

"You can take that to the bank...the money bank."

Roald · 05-06-2004, 10:15 AM

whoohoooo i'm rich, rich I tell you

Rob · 05-06-2004, 10:16 AM

"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's" - One of the Twins

"It tastes like, burnnnnnning" - Ralphie

"I can't remember, looks like my supressitol is working fine!" - Millhouse

God, I love the Simpsons!

Jakke PNG · 05-06-2004, 10:16 AM

"My Dad's always yelling that Whitey's keeping him down" -Bart

spentrent · 05-06-2004, 10:17 AM

I quits me fiddlin'
When I takes me Ritalin

KCat · 05-06-2004, 10:17 AM

Homer: "I have a refined palate."
Marge: "You don't even know what a palate is!"
Homer: "It's a time, in a boy's life..."

KaLi · 05-06-2004, 10:17 AM

"Doh!" - How did you not post this one?!

spentrent · 05-06-2004, 10:19 AM

Ralph is the best:

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!"

Tera · 05-06-2004, 10:19 AM

I like that one

"butter your bacon boy"
"but my heart hurts" - bart

C-Bass · 05-06-2004, 10:26 AM

Homer Quotes:

"Its pronounced nu-CU-lar"

"are you licking toads again?!" "No, SLUUUURP"

"Saxomofone!!"

*singing* "I am so SMART, I am so SMART, S-M-R-T....i mean S-M-A-R-T"

"Are you really the head of the quicky-mart?"
Yes
"Really?"
Yes
"You??"
Yes....thank you, come again

Bart & Lisa: "Dad! Dad! i dont mean to alarm you but there might be a boogie man or men in da house"

Homer: "AAAAARH BOOGIE MAN!"

too damn many to list....

brizzad · 05-06-2004, 10:27 AM

bart replaces the answering machine tape with an oldies tape that sings:

"hello motha.. hello fatha... here i am at... camp cronada"

after checking for new messages

homer yells up "marge, is lisa at camp cronada?"

Mefo · 05-06-2004, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by QuaShe
whoohoooo i'm rich, rich I tell you

this cracked me up

tbabe · 05-06-2004, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tera
I like that one

"butter your bacon boy"
"but my heart hurts" - bart

Hahaha one of my favorites

And

"bacon up that sausage!"

Rob · 05-06-2004, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Spotter_03
"Are you really the head of the quicky-mart?"
Yes
"Really?"
Yes
"You??"
Yes....thank you, come again

That one was a classic!!!

Rich · 05-06-2004, 10:29 AM

Squeaky voice kid when sideshow Bob has the nuke at the air show, and everyone is stampeding out...

"stamp your hands for re-entry."

kills me every time

Lonny · 05-06-2004, 10:30 AM

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen

Mr. X · 05-06-2004, 10:31 AM

Grampa Simpson: [typing letter] 'Dear Mr. President. There are too many states. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.'

Lykos · 05-06-2004, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi
"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

- Homer

Amen

SABAI · 05-06-2004, 10:37 AM

Disco stu - Homer Simpson

I can touch the music - Lisa Simpson ( after drinking LSD water at duffland)

Tera · 05-06-2004, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by tbabe
Hahaha one of my favorites

And

"bacon up that sausage!"

Thats what I was trying to remember, I couldn't remember that part LOL

I love that!

SlickCash Brock · 05-06-2004, 10:41 AM

Homer- "oh look they have the internet on computer now"

Strife · 05-06-2004, 10:43 AM

Homer:

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

"Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

"Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?"

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."

"Mmmm, free goo."

HammerALL · 05-06-2004, 10:45 AM

The best line ever is the one from when Homer is trying to gain weight in order to stay home and work -

"If it makes go clear - it's your hahahahahaha to weight gain"
-Dr. Nick Riviera

As he's robbing the Hoogie on the wall - the bird flies into it- LMAO

Za Ha · 05-06-2004, 10:45 AM

Motivation Speaker - "My watch has so many diamonds that the hands can't move. What kind of watch do you have?"

Homer - " I draw my watch in"

fktup · 05-06-2004, 10:46 AM

At the great chili cookoff:

Marge: "8 spices!? Hmmm...some of them must be doubles...Ore-gon-o?"

Homer: "Marge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy more fartsy!"

----

Homer tries Ned's "Five Alarm Chili"

Homer: "Five alarm chili eh?"

Ned: "Uh huh"

Homer: *takes a bite* "One.....two.....hey what's the big idea!"

Ned: "Aww I admit it, it's only 2 alarm. 2 1/2 tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids"

Kids: "Daddy are you going to jail?"

----

SlickCash Brock · 05-06-2004, 10:49 AM

I am not a missionary i don't even believe in JEBUS.......SAAAAAVE ME JEBUS!!!!!!

Creative · 05-06-2004, 10:51 AM

FROM LAST SUNDAY:

" I can't judge a pig contest, I'm not a genius...

Or ARE I?"

JDog · 05-06-2004, 10:52 AM

Homer, reading a country name off a globe, "You-are-gay, hehehe"
"To start press any-key, where's the any-key?"

jDoG

Purple Haze · 05-06-2004, 10:54 AM

In the office we do a homer qoute of the day, so needless to say, we have lots of quotes to offer up.

"You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try"

"Trying is the first step towards failure"

"Larry Flint is right. You guys stink!"

"There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!"-Comic Book Collector Guy

Just to quote a few,

Purple Haze

SilverTab · 05-06-2004, 10:56 AM

My eyes...The goggles do nothing!

FunForOne · 05-06-2004, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlickCash Brock
I am not a missionary i don't even believe in JEBUS.......SAAAAAVE ME JEBUS!!!!!!

JEBUS, I still say that!

Floridiot · 05-06-2004, 11:15 AM

Grampa: I'm Cold and scared.... I'm going inside

adamneve · 05-06-2004, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJedi
"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

- Homer

classic

Zoe_Zoebaboe · 05-06-2004, 11:30 AM

Worst movie ever! ---comic book collector guy

punker barbie · 05-06-2004, 11:39 AM

hahaha LOL,

seriously they fucken rawk glad to see they will be on for another 4 years http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr..._id=1000501615

mcfly · 05-06-2004, 11:40 AM

"here's to alcohol... the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." --homer

Purple Haze · 05-07-2004, 09:55 AM

One of my favorites from Homer:

"I am so smart, I am so smart....S-M-R-T, I mean: S-M-A-R-T! "

Purple Haze

Elli · 05-07-2004, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Purple Haze
One of my favorites from Homer:

"I am so smart, I am so smart....S-M-R-T, I mean: S-M-A-R-T! "

Purple Haze

<--- I love that one, too.

That and Saxamaphone.. Saxamaphooone..

hahha

psyko514 · 05-07-2004, 10:57 AM

To start, press any key.

"Aww... where's the ANY key? I see ESC, CATARL and PIGUP but no ANY key! Woo... all this computer hacking is making me thirsty! I think I'll order a Tab. Oop.. no time for that.. the computer's starting!"

"Your fingers are too fat to dial the number you've attempted. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash your palm against the dialpad now"

"Insteading of chewing gum, chew bacon! Instead of using bread, use poptarts!"
"I know! You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!"
"Hehe... did you go to Upstairs Hollywood Medical College too boy?"

"Kids, I'd like you to meet your granpa Murphy!"
"We already have 6 granpas!"
"He's a great jazz musician!"
"Aww... they all are"
"Ohh ohh... ya see the kids, they listen to the rap music... it gives them the braiiin damage. With the hipping and the hopping and the bipping and the bopping... And they don't know what the jazz... is all about! You see, jazz is like a Jell-O pudding pop.. No, wait... It's like the Kodak film... No, wait... It's like the New Coke... It'll be around forever... euhehehe..."

"You don't win friends with salad!"

"No bacon?" "No!" "No ham?" "No!" "No pork?" "Daaad... they all come from the same animal!" "Oh suuuure Lisa.. a magical, wonderful animal!"

psyko514 · 05-07-2004, 11:01 AM

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

"Embiggens? I'd never heard that word til I moved to Springfield"
"I don't why... It's a perfectly cromulent word!"

"Silly customer... you cannot hurt a Twinkie!"

"Moonpie... what a world to be living in!"

"Apu... gimme some of that new beer with candy floating in it. I think it's called Skittlebrau."
"Such a product does not exist. You must have dreamed it."
"Oh... well then give me a 6 pack and some Skittles!"

Doctor Dre · 05-07-2004, 11:01 AM

"D'oh"

tranza · 05-07-2004, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KaLi
"Doh!" - How did you not post this one?!

05-06-2004, 09:58 AM	#1
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	All time best Simpsons Quotes thread "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!" - Homer

05-06-2004, 10:02 AM	#4
NickPapageorgio Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NC Posts: 8,323	1. Homer -- "Thank's for nothin' light beer." While looking at stomach. 2. Mr. Burns -- "Why are they booing me Smithers?" Smithers -- "I don't think they are booing you sir, I think they are saying Boo-urns Boo-urns" Mr. Burns -- "Are you saying Boo or Boo-urns" Crowd -- "BOOO" Old man -- "Well I was saying Boo-urns" __________________

05-06-2004, 10:11 AM	#5
Magnus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Ontariariooooo Posts: 1,211	"Homer wins most weight gained since high school, Homer how did you did it?" Homer: "I started a meal between breakfast and brunch." "Well brain I dont like you and you dont like me.. so let's make a deal" __________________ Magnus

05-06-2004, 10:12 AM	#6
=^..^= Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ 380-366 Posts: 6,935	mmmm donuts.. is there anything they can't do? "marge and the monorail" episode right after the monorail gets derailed by a gigantic donut sign __________________ #RememberYourRoots #AaronMForGFYHOF

05-06-2004, 10:13 AM	#7
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	WHen the aliens come and run for president. "But it's a two party system. You have to vote for one of us!" __________________ email: [email protected]

05-06-2004, 10:00 AM	#3
TheFrog Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 4,095	I cant believe you dont shut up, Apu

05-06-2004, 10:14 AM	#8
StacyCat Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 1,167	"Its just a little airborne, its still good, its still good!"

05-06-2004, 10:14 AM	#9
tbabe Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,494	Woman executive "You can take that to the bank...the money bank." __________________ Still one of the best programs on the net. According to their banner, you can get rich.

05-06-2004, 10:15 AM	#10
Roald SecretFriends.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: IMC Headquarters Posts: 27,887	whoohoooo i'm rich, rich I tell you __________________ WE ARE BUYING PAY SITES! CONTACT ME ClubSweethearts \| ManUpFilms \| SinfulXXX \| HOT * AdultPrime * HOT Paying webmasters since 1996! Contact: r.riepen @ sansylgroup.com \| telegram: roaldr

05-06-2004, 10:16 AM	#11
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,309	"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's" - One of the Twins "It tastes like, burnnnnnning" - Ralphie "I can't remember, looks like my supressitol is working fine!" - Millhouse God, I love the Simpsons! __________________

05-06-2004, 10:16 AM	#12
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	"My Dad's always yelling that Whitey's keeping him down" -Bart __________________ ..and I'm off.

05-06-2004, 10:17 AM	#13
spentrent Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: LA Posts: 876	I quits me fiddlin' When I takes me Ritalin

05-06-2004, 10:17 AM	#14
KCat Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: PNW Posts: 2,204	Homer: "I have a refined palate." Marge: "You don't even know what a palate is!" Homer: "It's a time, in a boy's life..." __________________ ~ 300+ FHGs, 100,000 pics to use plus a rockin' Video of the Day download! ~

05-06-2004, 10:17 AM	#15
KaLi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Lomita, CA Posts: 4,371	"Doh!" - How did you not post this one?! __________________ icq:160-417-630

05-06-2004, 10:19 AM	#16
spentrent Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: LA Posts: 876	Ralph is the best: "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" "That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!"

05-06-2004, 10:19 AM	#17
Tera Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 1,426	I like that one "butter your bacon boy" "but my heart hurts" - bart __________________ [email protected] ICQ 96593794

05-06-2004, 10:26 AM	#18
C-Bass Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: th3 1nt3Rwebz Posts: 3,153	Homer Quotes: "Its pronounced nu-CU-lar" "are you licking toads again?!" "No, SLUUUURP" "Saxomofone!!" singing "I am so SMART, I am so SMART, S-M-R-T....i mean S-M-A-R-T" "Are you really the head of the quicky-mart?" Yes "Really?" Yes "You??" Yes....thank you, come again Bart & Lisa: "Dad! Dad! i dont mean to alarm you but there might be a boogie man or men in da house" Homer: "AAAAARH BOOGIE MAN!" too damn many to list.... __________________ "Unhappy with the riches 'cause you're piss poor morally." Trade traffic? - Highdef Blog

05-06-2004, 10:27 AM	#19
brizzad holla Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: KFC Posts: 11,769	bart replaces the answering machine tape with an oldies tape that sings: "hello motha.. hello fatha... here i am at... camp cronada" after checking for new messages homer yells up "marge, is lisa at camp cronada?"

05-06-2004, 10:29 AM	#23
Rich So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,486	Squeaky voice kid when sideshow Bob has the nuke at the air show, and everyone is stampeding out... "stamp your hands for re-entry." kills me every time

05-06-2004, 10:30 AM	#24
Lonny Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Riverside Ca. Posts: 3,539	Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen __________________ crakrevenue

05-06-2004, 10:31 AM	#25
Mr. X Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Springfield Posts: 69	Grampa Simpson: [typing letter] 'Dear Mr. President. There are too many states. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.' __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Let me repeat... A 120 x 60 button and no more that 3 lines of DEFAULT SIZE AND COLOR text.

05-06-2004, 10:37 AM	#27
SABAI Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: footmaniac.com Posts: 2,880	Disco stu - Homer Simpson I can touch the music - Lisa Simpson ( after drinking LSD water at duffland) __________________

05-06-2004, 10:41 AM	#29
SlickCash Brock Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 935	Homer- "oh look they have the internet on computer now" __________________ [email protected] E-mail [email protected] ICQ# 315 496 668

05-06-2004, 10:43 AM	#30
Strife Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Canada Posts: 4,534	Homer: "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" "Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" "Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!" "Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?" "Operator! Give me the number for 911!" "Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races." "Mmmm, free goo." __________________ Buy & Sell Ads on The Most Sexy Advertising Network on the Planet

05-06-2004, 10:45 AM	#31
HammerALL Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,506	The best line ever is the one from when Homer is trying to gain weight in order to stay home and work - "If it makes go clear - it's your hahahahahaha to weight gain" -Dr. Nick Riviera As he's robbing the Hoogie on the wall - the bird flies into it- LMAO __________________ Mario Amaral AKA: Hammerall Affiliate Sales \| Email:[email protected] Skype: Hammerall \| ICQ: 190272140

05-06-2004, 10:45 AM	#32
Za Ha Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Still lost Posts: 5,112	Motivation Speaker - "My watch has so many diamonds that the hands can't move. What kind of watch do you have?" Homer - " I draw my watch in"

05-06-2004, 10:46 AM	#33
fktup Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: CO Posts: 238	At the great chili cookoff: Marge: "8 spices!? Hmmm...some of them must be doubles...Ore-gon-o?" Homer: "Marge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy more fartsy!" ---- Homer tries Ned's "Five Alarm Chili" Homer: "Five alarm chili eh?" Ned: "Uh huh" Homer: takes a bite "One.....two.....hey what's the big idea!" Ned: "Aww I admit it, it's only 2 alarm. 2 1/2 tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids" Kids: "Daddy are you going to jail?" ---- __________________ pornofish adult site reviews

05-06-2004, 10:49 AM	#34
SlickCash Brock Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 935	I am not a missionary i don't even believe in JEBUS.......SAAAAAVE ME JEBUS!!!!!! __________________ [email protected] E-mail [email protected] ICQ# 315 496 668

05-06-2004, 10:51 AM	#35
Creative So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: CREATIVE STUDIOS::::GRAPHIC DESIGN/WEB DESIGN/PROGRAMMING ::: * ICQ: 591033 * <- BANNERS FOR $8.00 Posts: 1,252	FROM LAST SUNDAY: " I can't judge a pig contest, I'm not a genius... Or ARE I?"

05-06-2004, 10:52 AM	#36
JDog Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Canby, OR Posts: 7,453	Homer, reading a country name off a globe, "You-are-gay, hehehe" "To start press any-key, where's the any-key?" jDoG __________________ NSCash now powering ReelProfits.com ALSO FEATURING: NSCash.com :: SoloDollars.com :: ReelProfits.com :: BiminiBucks.com :: VOD PROGRAMS COMING SOON: Greedy Bucks :: Vengeance Cash NOW OFFERING OVER 60 SITES CONTACT :: JAMES SMITH :: CHIEF TECHNOLOGY OFFICER :: ICQ (711385133)

05-06-2004, 10:54 AM	#37
Purple Haze Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,021	In the office we do a homer qoute of the day, so needless to say, we have lots of quotes to offer up. "You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try" "Trying is the first step towards failure" "Larry Flint is right. You guys stink!" "There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!"-Comic Book Collector Guy Just to quote a few, Purple Haze __________________ Live Pay-Per-View Feeds Cobranded with YOUR LOGO Tons of FREE CONTENT Unique MARKETING TOOLS Check out WebcamFeeds See Who I Am At AdultWhosWho.com! TURNING WEBCAMS INTO CASH FOR OVER 8 YEARS -- WE'RE BUILT TO CONVERT

05-06-2004, 10:56 AM	#38
SilverTab Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: MTL Posts: 5,060	My eyes...The goggles do nothing! __________________ mmm my sig was too big... no more cool animation but hey still! need php? ICQ: 94586959

05-06-2004, 11:15 AM	#40
Floridiot Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: fort lauderdale Posts: 1,346	Grampa: I'm Cold and scared.... I'm going inside __________________ Need custom Tshirts? i provide quality shirts, screen printing, and personalized labels with your logo. For a catalog email me at: [email protected]

05-06-2004, 11:30 AM	#42
Zoe_Zoebaboe Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sin City Posts: 4,463	Worst movie ever! ---comic book collector guy __________________ http://www.myspace.com/jennabea ICQ: 166862923 Email: [email protected]

05-06-2004, 11:39 AM	#43
punker barbie Meow Meow!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 10,226	hahaha LOL, seriously they fucken rawk glad to see they will be on for another 4 years http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr..._id=1000501615