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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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Thread Tools |
06-04-2003, 04:18 PM
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#1 |
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ICQ: 178725656
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Sunny San Diego
Posts: 12,366
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Post your WORST joke!
A man was struck by a bus on a busy street. As he was lying near death on the sidewalk, a crowd of spectators gathered around.
"A Priest. Somebody get me a priest!", the man gasped. A policeman checked the crowd and yelled, "Is anyone a priest?" Out of the crowd stepped a little old Jewish man of at least 80 years of age. "Mr. Policeman", said the man, "I'm not a preacher. I'm not even a Christian. But for 50 years now I'm living behind the Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm overhearing their services. I can recall a lot of it and maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agreed and cleared the crowd so the man could get through to where the injured man lay. The Jewish man knelt down, leaned over the injured man and said, in a solemn voice, "B-4, I-19, N-38, G-54, O-72...." 
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06-04-2003, 04:21 PM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 8,067
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Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick! LOL |
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06-04-2003, 04:30 PM
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#3 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 6,130
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Q:whats invisible and smells like carrots?
A: rabbit farts or Q: Why did the kid with ADD cross the road? A: Hey wanna go ride bikes? |
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06-04-2003, 04:31 PM
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#4 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Cuz he was dead.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!  ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!!  Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
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06-04-2003, 04:33 PM
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#5 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: California
Posts: 589
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Q: How can you tell if your sister got ass fucked today?
A: Your dads dick tastes like shit! Sorry but you asked for it...
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Adult Web Marketing Specialist with 10 years of Industry Experience - CONTACT ME |
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06-04-2003, 04:34 PM
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#6 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: LAX Immigration
Posts: 2,940
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Q: What's 3 feet long and fucks chickens?
A: An axe. Q: What's red and invisible? A: No tomatoes. |
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06-04-2003, 04:37 PM
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#7 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: CrackYaMental
Posts: 4,365
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Quote:
HAHAHAHAHA Here's mine... How do you keep a dog from humpin your leg? Suck its dick. or Heard the one about the jumprope...? Skip it...
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Insert Value Here. |
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06-04-2003, 04:37 PM
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#8 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 17,393
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Q: Why did Peter fall off his bike?
A: Someone threw a fridge at him. Q: Why did Fred have trouble riding his bike? A: Fred's a fish. Q: What's green and lies in the gutter? A: A dead bus. (change colour to suit your locality...) |
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06-04-2003, 04:37 PM
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#9 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: the streets.
Posts: 2,560
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How far can you pull out a woman's clitoris?
Untill she slaps you in the face!  |
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06-04-2003, 04:37 PM
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#10 |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
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Q: What has eighty-four teeth and holds back a huge ruthless monster?
A: my zipper.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
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06-04-2003, 04:40 PM
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#11 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 6,130
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Q: what has two thumbs and likes blowjobs.
A: (point thumbs at self) THIS GUY!!!! |
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06-04-2003, 04:49 PM
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#12 |
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So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: the beach, SoCal
Posts: 107,089
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Q, What is black and blue, and hates cock?
ready for this? you may want to hit back on your browser okay, you had fair warning and opportunity A. A rape victim |
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06-04-2003, 04:50 PM
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#13 | |
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So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: the beach, SoCal
Posts: 107,089
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Quote:
what is a tumb? |
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06-04-2003, 04:50 PM
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#14 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 6,130
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Quote:
something grammar nazi's have. |
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06-04-2003, 04:52 PM
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#15 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: EL TOREO DE 4 CAMINOS
Posts: 1,714
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what do pantyhose and saddam hussein have in common?
they both irritate bush
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SEACREST OUT! |
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06-04-2003, 04:53 PM
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#16 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: LAX Immigration
Posts: 2,940
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Q: What do you call an annorexic with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter pounder with cheese. |
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06-04-2003, 04:53 PM
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#17 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Dis
Posts: 4,751
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Q: What do 60,000 battered women have in common?
A: They won't fucking listen! |
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06-04-2003, 04:54 PM
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#18 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 1,737
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Remember when you were a little kid and you used to blow Bubbles?
. . . . Well, he's back in town!
__________________
 Porn Wealth Everything the newbie adult webmaster needs to know. Buy it, or sell it through our 50% affiliate program! |
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06-04-2003, 04:55 PM
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#19 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Dis
Posts: 4,751
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The last time your mom gave you a kiss goodbye, did you wonder how long it'd been since she'd last blown your dad?
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06-04-2003, 04:56 PM
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#20 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Cali
Posts: 607
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how are electric toy trains and breasts alike?
They're both meant for the kids but daddy always plays with them.
__________________
Fyodor Dostoyevsky wrote: "Every man has reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone but only his friends. He has other matters in his mind which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself, and that in secret. But there are other things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind." icq 8243657 |
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06-04-2003, 04:58 PM
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#21 |
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Jesus loves bacon
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Sin City, Motherfucker
Posts: 19,969
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Did you hear about the ant that was walking on the toilet seat and got pissed off?
__________________
Support my new movie “The Second Coming” |
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06-04-2003, 05:01 PM
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#22 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Dis
Posts: 4,751
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How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it. |
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06-04-2003, 05:04 PM
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#23 | |
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When it rains, it pours
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 20,609
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Quote:
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06-04-2003, 05:06 PM
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#24 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: LAX Immigration
Posts: 2,940
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This man pulls up in his Merc beside a little boy.
He opens the door, holds out a brown paper bag of sweets and says, "Hey kid, if I give you a sweetie, will you come in my car." To which the kid replies, "Gimme the bag and I'll come in your mouth!" |
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06-04-2003, 05:06 PM
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#25 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Teh Interweb
Posts: 2,439
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Q: How long does it take for a woman to cum?
A: Who cares |
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06-04-2003, 05:09 PM
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#26 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: the streets.
Posts: 2,560
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what is brown and white and stands up in a chicken yard?
A: Constiptated chicken shit |
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06-04-2003, 05:11 PM
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#27 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Variable
Posts: 1,237
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Setting...
Any adult web trade show work shop: Speaking on the topic of, "How I Made Millions in Adult Web Sales" lil2rich4you spacedog
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GFY Voice of Reason |
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06-04-2003, 05:13 PM
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#28 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 6,130
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hey foolio, did you get a chance to check out the pics last nite?
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06-04-2003, 05:21 PM
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#29 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,476
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George Bush
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06-04-2003, 06:23 PM
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#30 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 864
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what has seven balls and fucks old women
the lottery |
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06-04-2003, 06:27 PM
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#31 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 1,737
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz 2 Men?
A. He thought they were a delivery service. Q. What would you get if you crossed a boy with a Catholic priest? A. One happy priest. Q. What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common? A. They both have little boys pants half off. Q. Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers? A. Because he's a quadriplegic. Q. What's 3 feet tall and gives great head? A. Your son. Q. How do you re-fit an old whore? A. Shove a five pound ham up her pussy and pull out the bone. Q. What should you do if your epileptic grandma is having a seizure in the bathtub? A. Throw in some Tide and a load of dirty clothes.
__________________
Porn Wealth Everything the newbie adult webmaster needs to know. Buy it, or sell it through our 50% affiliate program! |
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06-04-2003, 06:29 PM
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#32 | |
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Orgasms N Such!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Posts: 18,135
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Quote:
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06-04-2003, 06:30 PM
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#33 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: : unknown
Posts: 3,377
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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: no idea Q: what do you call a dead deer with no eyes? A: Still no idea Q: What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? A: Nothing - you've told her twice already Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb? A: 2 - one to change the light bulb, one to suck my dick |
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06-04-2003, 06:33 PM
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#34 |
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Orgasms N Such!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Posts: 18,135
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Ok, first off for the men.
Why do brides wear white? So they match the rest of the kitchen appliances. What do you do when you're wife is stumbling around in the front yard? Shoot the bitch again. Why do they name hurricanes after women? Because they arrive wet and wild and leave with your house and your car. For the women: What do men and linolium have in common? Lay em right and you can walk on em for 25-50 years. Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time. And my favorite: What do men and snowstorms have in common? You can never tell when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they'll stay  Enjoy :P |
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06-04-2003, 06:42 PM
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#35 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The other side of Hell
Posts: 5,814
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I am an adult webmaster
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06-04-2003, 06:46 PM
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#36 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,219
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Quote:
If you did, you wouldn't find the joke funny.
__________________
PAYBUYNET.COM Need Processing? Email me tony at paybuynet dot com ICQ 21239908 |
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06-04-2003, 06:48 PM
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#37 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The gulf coast
Posts: 42
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What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker
and a hooker with diarhea? The first shucks between fits the second....
__________________
<EMBED src="http://www.devoidofreason.com/flash/button_022.swf" quality=high bgcolor=#000000 WIDTH=125 HEIGHT=65 TYPE="application/x-shockwave-flash" PLUGINSPAGE="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"></EMBED> |
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06-04-2003, 06:53 PM
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#38 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: houston
Posts: 14
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how many punks dus it take to change a light bulb
22 one to change the bulb and 21 to drink till the room starts to spin
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oi to the world |
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06-04-2003, 07:06 PM
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#39 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Homeless
Posts: 801
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How many male chauvinist does it take to change a light bulb in the kitchen?
Fuck it, let the bitch cook in the dark.  |
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06-04-2003, 07:07 PM
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#40 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: The other side of Hell
Posts: 5,814
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Quote:
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06-04-2003, 07:08 PM
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#41 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Homeless
Posts: 801
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This little boy walks into his moms bathroom while she is peeing, he stops, stares a moment then points at her pussy and says, whats that mommy? She says, oh, thats my hatchet wound, little boy replies, hit ya right in the hahahaha huh?
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06-04-2003, 07:20 PM
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#42 |
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As you wish...
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 13,754
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Q. What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?
A. Slap her and tell her to get the hell back to work! |
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06-04-2003, 09:25 PM
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#43 | |
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So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: the beach, SoCal
Posts: 107,089
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Quote:
Read the fucking topic dickhead |
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06-04-2003, 09:42 PM
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#44 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,720
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Quote:
__________________
Ask me how to monetize with adult traffic!
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06-04-2003, 10:06 PM
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#45 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 334
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Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and the bartender says... "Hey we don't serve breakfast!"
(for the kids!)
__________________
Come away, come away... |
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06-04-2003, 10:10 PM
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#46 |
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FLASHCA$H.COM
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: In my skin
Posts: 1,257
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Why is an elephant big, rough and gray?
Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin! |
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06-04-2003, 10:14 PM
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#47 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 319
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This single guy has a parrot He cant make this parrot say but only one phrase ..
so one day the guy says hes got a date that evening coming over will the bird says mmm mmm gonna get me some. mmm mm gonna get me some.. so the guy didnt want this happening while his date comes over. he went to get a female bird to keep the other occupied. all he found was a female owl .. he figured that will do . Well that didnt help the bird kept saying it .. His date got there the bird says mmm mmm gonna get me some mmm mmm gonna get me some.. the female OWL says hoooo hoooooo.. the parrot says " NOT YOU YA BUG EYED BITCH.." |
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06-04-2003, 10:18 PM
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#48 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 319
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Hi Missy... tell the barbituate joke!
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06-04-2003, 10:33 PM
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#49 | |
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FLASHCA$H.COM
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: In my skin
Posts: 1,257
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Quote:
OK, here goes... A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "I'm sorry but we don't serve bears beer". The bear says "If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady over there in the corner". So the bartender says "Go ahead... see if I care". So the bear waddles over to the corner of the bar and gobbles up the lady in one gulp. He walks back over to the bar and says "Now gimme my damn beer!" The bartender replies "I told you, we don't serve bears beer, and we don't serve bears on drugs". The bears says "What are you talking about? I'm not on drugs!" To which the bartender replies... "Yes you are.... That was a "bar-bitch-you-ate" |
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06-04-2003, 11:11 PM
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#50 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Deep With In Your Mind
Posts: 1,834
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The Leper And The Bartender
A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor. The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them." The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his crackers in your neck." Oz |
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