Post your WORST joke! - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

Gutterboy · 06-04-2003, 11:13 PM

50 biatch!

foolio · 06-04-2003, 11:23 PM

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for
sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said,

"Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in
Heaven."

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.

"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.

"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free,
everyday."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is
all free for you to enjoy."

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.

"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as
much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to," was the answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago."

Tala · 06-04-2003, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by foolio
The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for
sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said,

"Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in
Heaven."

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a
championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.

"What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man.

"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free,
everyday."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is
all free for you to enjoy."

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.

"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as
much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to," was the answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago."

grogan · 06-04-2003, 11:27 PM

who likes to bake jews at 400 degrees

hitler

who's an ugly jew

your mother

who sucks jews dicks

hitlers sister

whos a stupid chink

any chinese person

who is a gay person

anyone who is a homosexual

who smells like a chinese hooker

you do

foolio · 06-04-2003, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by grogan
who smells like a chinese hooker

you do

no, I took a shower

grogan · 06-04-2003, 11:34 PM

heres another one

knock knock

(who's there?)

your ugly hahahaha wife

----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

me you dumb bitch

----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

your chinese mother
----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

your homosexual dad
----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

father malchahey
----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

no one, im a ghost you fat bitch
----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

a fat bitch
----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

a dead fat bitch
----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

your ma'
----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

----------------------------------------
knock knock

(who's there?)

im here cuzz im a chinese hahahaha

grogan · 06-04-2003, 11:35 PM

it says hahahhahahah instead of c=u=n=t?

hahahaha

hahahaha hahahaha

baddog · 06-04-2003, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Missy

Hey litlsweety! What's up?

OK, here goes...
A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "I'm sorry but we don't serve bears beer".
The bear says "If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady over there in the corner". So the bartender says "Go ahead... see if I care".
So the bear waddles over to the corner of the bar and gobbles up the lady in one gulp. He walks back over to the bar and says "Now gimme my damn beer!"
The bartender replies "I told you, we don't serve bears beer, and we don't serve bears on drugs".
The bears says "What are you talking about? I'm not on drugs!"
To which the bartender replies...
"Yes you are.... That was a "bar-bitch-you-ate"

I think you are the only other person than me that knows that joke

I presume that was your condensed version for typing ease.

Reak · 06-04-2003, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OzKaNoz
The Leper And The Bartender

A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor.
The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them."
The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his crackers in your neck."

Oz

baddog · 06-04-2003, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Reak

well the topic is "post your WORST joke" and you have to admit that one was pretty bad

Porn Mickey · 06-05-2003, 02:49 AM

this one

Q: What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drinker?
A: You don't have to go to those stupid meetings!

Lee · 06-05-2003, 04:17 AM

Guy goes into a French restaurant and says "Waiter, do you have frogs legs?"

Waiter "But of course monsieur"

Guy "Well hop over there and get me a bacon sandwich then"

-----------

Jewish child molester "Would you like to buy a sweet little girl?"

----------

What do you call an Indian cloakroom attendant?

Mahatma Coat

danevans · 06-05-2003, 04:45 AM

There were two cows and they couldn't care less.

OzKaNoz · 06-05-2003, 04:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by baddog

well the topic is "post your WORST joke" and you have to admit that one was pretty bad

Lol. yeah when I saw the topic I thought of that joke. It's so really bad.

Oz

LukieD · 06-05-2003, 05:09 AM

###Warning Tasteless Joke###
What's the difference between acne and a paedophile?

Acne waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face.

EvilToyBoy · 06-05-2003, 07:01 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by baddog
[B]Q, What is black and blue, and hates cock?

Ouch!!!!

Less offensive, but still just as Misogynist.....

Q. What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

A. Nothin!!! You've already told the bitch twice!!!

Marissa · 06-05-2003, 09:44 AM

How do you stop a Jewish woman from having sex?

Marry her!

Yo Adrian · 06-05-2003, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by xxxtreme
this one

Q: What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drinker?
A: You don't have to go to those stupid meetings!

hahaha yeah that's a pretty bad joke

How about this one....

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?

Throw her ass out.

liquidkid · 06-05-2003, 09:56 AM

Q: Why was the painter mad at the museum.

A: Because they gave him a brush off.

** Found on a popsicle stick last night.

FreeXXX · 06-05-2003, 10:01 AM

How do you know when you are at a gay bar-b-q?
The hotdogs taste like shit...

mrthumbs · 06-05-2003, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Missy

Hey litlsweety! What's up?

OK, here goes...
A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "I'm sorry but we don't serve bears beer".
The bear says "If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady over there in the corner". So the bartender says "Go ahead... see if I care".
So the bear waddles over to the corner of the bar and gobbles up the lady in one gulp. He walks back over to the bar and says "Now gimme my damn beer!"
The bartender replies "I told you, we don't serve bears beer, and we don't serve bears on drugs".
The bears says "What are you talking about? I'm not on drugs!"
To which the bartender replies...
"Yes you are.... That was a "bar-bitch-you-ate"

that joke REALLY sucks

market4s · 06-05-2003, 10:30 AM

What do elephants use for Tampons???
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SHEEP!

Koshka · 06-05-2003, 10:36 AM

lol. funny thread

CDSmith · 06-05-2003, 10:56 AM

Q: What is green and red and goes 100 miles an hour?

A: a frog in a blender.

Q: What did the indian say when his pizza got delivered?

A: eh... who puked on my banik?

Did you hear about the sand monkey terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

He burnt his lips on the exaust pipe.

Hear about the skinny fag who went up north to work?

He came back a husky fucker.

Trolleater · 06-05-2003, 11:57 AM

Babaganoosh · 06-05-2003, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by market4s
What do elephants use for Tampons???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SHEEP!

Why do elephants have trunks?

Sheep don't have strings.

Babaganoosh · 06-05-2003, 12:15 PM

What do you do if your Kotex catches fire?

Throw it on the ground and tampon it.

Snake Doctor · 06-05-2003, 12:29 PM

Why don't jews like to eat pussy?

Too close to the gas chamber.

Hey you wanted the worst joke.

white_rabit · 06-05-2003, 07:51 PM

A baby harp seal walks into a club

I once puked up alphabet spagetti - and it spelt carrots.

Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too

Why do dogs lick their balls? Coz they cant make a fist.

06-04-2003, 11:23 PM	#52
foolio ICQ: 178725656 Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny San Diego Posts: 12,366	The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now." The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven." The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man. "This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, everyday." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy." The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked. "That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!" The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless you want to," was the answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." "Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself." The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago." __________________

06-05-2003, 02:49 AM	#61
Porn Mickey we all love porn Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Nowhere Posts: 2,840	this one Q: What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drinker? A: You don't have to go to those stupid meetings! __________________ $150 SignUp Bonus

06-05-2003, 07:01 AM	#66
EvilToyBoy Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: The Great Southern Land Posts: 737	[QUOTE]Originally posted by baddog [B]Q, What is black and blue, and hates cock? Ouch!!!! Less offensive, but still just as Misogynist..... Q. What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? A. Nothin!!! You've already told the bitch twice!!! __________________ font color="#FFFF99"><br> WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT CELEBS UNZIPPED ???? - </font> <a href="http://www.celebsunzipped.net"><font color="#FFFF99"> http://www.celebsunzipped.net</font></a><font color="#FFFF99"> !!</font></font></b><br> <font color="#FF3300"><b>ICQ# 293070684 - Email toyboy AT celebsunzipped.net</b></font>

06-05-2003, 09:44 AM	#67
Marissa Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: NewYorkCity Posts: 162	How do you stop a Jewish woman from having sex? Marry her! __________________

06-05-2003, 10:30 AM	#72
market4s Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: Earth.... I think? Posts: 243	What do elephants use for Tampons??? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SHEEP! __________________ DreamerCafe.com

06-04-2003, 11:13 PM	#51
Gutterboy So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dis Posts: 4,751	50 biatch!

06-04-2003, 11:27 PM	#54
grogan So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: CHICAGO Posts: 2,284	who likes to bake jews at 400 degrees hitler who's an ugly jew your mother who sucks jews dicks hitlers sister whos a stupid chink any chinese person who is a gay person anyone who is a homosexual who smells like a chinese hooker you do

06-04-2003, 11:34 PM	#56
grogan So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: CHICAGO Posts: 2,284	heres another one knock knock (who's there?) your ugly hahahaha wife ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) me you dumb bitch ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) your chinese mother ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) your homosexual dad ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) father malchahey ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) no one, im a ghost you fat bitch ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) a fat bitch ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) a dead fat bitch ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) your ma' ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) ---------------------------------------- knock knock (who's there?) im here cuzz im a chinese hahahaha

06-04-2003, 11:35 PM	#57
grogan So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: CHICAGO Posts: 2,284	it says hahahhahahah instead of c=u=n=t? hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha

06-05-2003, 04:17 AM	#62
Lee Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Kernow Posts: 2,977	Guy goes into a French restaurant and says "Waiter, do you have frogs legs?" Waiter "But of course monsieur" Guy "Well hop over there and get me a bacon sandwich then" ----------- Jewish child molester "Would you like to buy a sweet little girl?" ---------- What do you call an Indian cloakroom attendant? Mahatma Coat

06-05-2003, 04:45 AM	#63
danevans Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Europe Posts: 1,295	There were two cows and they couldn't care less.

06-05-2003, 05:09 AM	#65
LukieD Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: London Posts: 927	###Warning Tasteless Joke### What's the difference between acne and a paedophile? Acne waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face.

06-05-2003, 09:56 AM	#69
liquidkid Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Sacramento Posts: 219	Q: Why was the painter mad at the museum. A: Because they gave him a brush off. ** Found on a popsicle stick last night.

06-05-2003, 10:01 AM	#70
FreeXXX So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2002 Location: I live in Brad's 1972 Pinto Posts: 141	How do you know when you are at a gay bar-b-q? The hotdogs taste like shit...

06-05-2003, 10:36 AM	#73
Koshka Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: europe Posts: 143	lol. funny thread

06-05-2003, 10:56 AM	#74
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Q: What is green and red and goes 100 miles an hour? A: a frog in a blender. Q: What did the indian say when his pizza got delivered? A: eh... who puked on my banik? Did you hear about the sand monkey terrorist who tried to blow up a bus? He burnt his lips on the exaust pipe. Hear about the skinny fag who went up north to work? He came back a husky fucker. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

06-05-2003, 11:57 AM	#75
Trolleater Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 1,441

06-05-2003, 12:15 PM	#77
Babaganoosh ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: /home Posts: 15,841	What do you do if your Kotex catches fire? Throw it on the ground and tampon it. __________________ I like pie.

06-05-2003, 12:29 PM	#78
Snake Doctor I'm Lenny2 Bitch Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: On top of my soapbox Posts: 13,449	Why don't jews like to eat pussy? Too close to the gas chamber. Hey you wanted the worst joke. __________________ sig too big

06-05-2003, 07:51 PM	#79
white_rabit Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Its a spiritual thing Posts: 22	A baby harp seal walks into a club I once puked up alphabet spagetti - and it spelt carrots. Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too Why do dogs lick their balls? Coz they cant make a fist.