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Post your WORST joke!
A man was struck by a bus on a busy street. As he was lying near death on the sidewalk, a crowd of spectators gathered around.
"A Priest. Somebody get me a priest!", the man gasped. A policeman checked the crowd and yelled, "Is anyone a priest?" Out of the crowd stepped a little old Jewish man of at least 80 years of age. "Mr. Policeman", said the man, "I'm not a preacher. I'm not even a Christian. But for 50 years now I'm living behind the Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm overhearing their services. I can recall a lot of it and maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agreed and cleared the crowd so the man could get through to where the injured man lay. The Jewish man knelt down, leaned over the injured man and said, in a solemn voice, "B-4, I-19, N-38, G-54, O-72...." :1orglaugh :1orglaugh |
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick! LOL |
Q:whats invisible and smells like carrots?
A: rabbit farts or Q: Why did the kid with ADD cross the road? A: Hey wanna go ride bikes? |
Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Cuz he was dead. |
Q: How can you tell if your sister got ass fucked today?
A: Your dads dick tastes like shit! Sorry but you asked for it... |
Q: What's 3 feet long and fucks chickens?
A: An axe. Q: What's red and invisible? A: No tomatoes. |
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HAHAHAHAHA Here's mine... How do you keep a dog from humpin your leg? Suck its dick. or Heard the one about the jumprope...? Skip it... |
Q: Why did Peter fall off his bike?
A: Someone threw a fridge at him. Q: Why did Fred have trouble riding his bike? A: Fred's a fish. Q: What's green and lies in the gutter? A: A dead bus. (change colour to suit your locality...) |
How far can you pull out a woman's clitoris?
Untill she slaps you in the face! :BangBang: |
Q: What has eighty-four teeth and holds back a huge ruthless monster?
A: my zipper. |
Q: what has two thumbs and likes blowjobs.
A: (point thumbs at self) THIS GUY!!!! |
Q, What is black and blue, and hates cock?
ready for this? you may want to hit back on your browser okay, you had fair warning and opportunity A. A rape victim |
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what is a tumb? |
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something grammar nazi's have. |
what do pantyhose and saddam hussein have in common?
they both irritate bush |
Q: What do you call an annorexic with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter pounder with cheese. |
Q: What do 60,000 battered women have in common?
A: They won't fucking listen! |
Remember when you were a little kid and you used to blow Bubbles?
. . . . Well, he's back in town! |
The last time your mom gave you a kiss goodbye, did you wonder how long it'd been since she'd last blown your dad?
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how are electric toy trains and breasts alike?
They're both meant for the kids but daddy always plays with them. |
Did you hear about the ant that was walking on the toilet seat and got pissed off?
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How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it. |
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This man pulls up in his Merc beside a little boy.
He opens the door, holds out a brown paper bag of sweets and says, "Hey kid, if I give you a sweetie, will you come in my car." To which the kid replies, "Gimme the bag and I'll come in your mouth!" |
Q: How long does it take for a woman to cum?
A: Who cares |
what is brown and white and stands up in a chicken yard?
A: Constiptated chicken shit |
Setting...
Any adult web trade show work shop: Speaking on the topic of, "How I Made Millions in Adult Web Sales" lil2rich4you spacedog |
hey foolio, did you get a chance to check out the pics last nite?
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George Bush
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what has seven balls and fucks old women
the lottery |
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz 2 Men?
A. He thought they were a delivery service. Q. What would you get if you crossed a boy with a Catholic priest? A. One happy priest. Q. What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common? A. They both have little boys pants half off. Q. Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers? A. Because he's a quadriplegic. Q. What's 3 feet tall and gives great head? A. Your son. Q. How do you re-fit an old whore? A. Shove a five pound ham up her pussy and pull out the bone. Q. What should you do if your epileptic grandma is having a seizure in the bathtub? A. Throw in some Tide and a load of dirty clothes. |
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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: no idea Q: what do you call a dead deer with no eyes? A: Still no idea Q: What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? A: Nothing - you've told her twice already Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb? A: 2 - one to change the light bulb, one to suck my dick |
Ok, first off for the men.
Why do brides wear white? So they match the rest of the kitchen appliances. What do you do when you're wife is stumbling around in the front yard? Shoot the bitch again. Why do they name hurricanes after women? Because they arrive wet and wild and leave with your house and your car. For the women: What do men and linolium have in common? Lay em right and you can walk on em for 25-50 years. Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time. And my favorite: What do men and snowstorms have in common? You can never tell when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they'll stay :) Enjoy :P |
I am an adult webmaster :1orglaugh
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If you did, you wouldn't find the joke funny. |
What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker
and a hooker with diarhea? The first shucks between fits the second.... |
how many punks dus it take to change a light bulb
22 one to change the bulb and 21 to drink till the room starts to spin:1orglaugh |
How many male chauvinist does it take to change a light bulb in the kitchen?
Fuck it, let the bitch cook in the dark. :winkwink: |
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This little boy walks into his moms bathroom while she is peeing, he stops, stares a moment then points at her pussy and says, whats that mommy? She says, oh, thats my hatchet wound, little boy replies, hit ya right in the hahahaha huh?
:1orglaugh |
Q. What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?
A. Slap her and tell her to get the hell back to work! |
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Read the fucking topic dickhead |
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Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and the bartender says... "Hey we don't serve breakfast!"
(for the kids!) |
Why is an elephant big, rough and gray?
Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin! |
This single guy has a parrot He cant make this parrot say but only one phrase ..
so one day the guy says hes got a date that evening coming over will the bird says mmm mmm gonna get me some. mmm mm gonna get me some.. so the guy didnt want this happening while his date comes over. he went to get a female bird to keep the other occupied. all he found was a female owl .. he figured that will do . Well that didnt help the bird kept saying it .. His date got there the bird says mmm mmm gonna get me some mmm mmm gonna get me some.. the female OWL says hoooo hoooooo.. the parrot says " NOT YOU YA BUG EYED BITCH.." |
Hi Missy... tell the barbituate joke!
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OK, here goes... A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "I'm sorry but we don't serve bears beer". The bear says "If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady over there in the corner". So the bartender says "Go ahead... see if I care". So the bear waddles over to the corner of the bar and gobbles up the lady in one gulp. He walks back over to the bar and says "Now gimme my damn beer!" The bartender replies "I told you, we don't serve bears beer, and we don't serve bears on drugs". The bears says "What are you talking about? I'm not on drugs!" To which the bartender replies... "Yes you are.... That was a "bar-bitch-you-ate" |
The Leper And The Bartender
A leper walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender glanced over and promptly threw up all over himself and the floor. The leper looked hurt and said, "Hey, I know I'm not exactly handsome, but I do have feelings and you could be a little sensitive about them." The bartender, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, looked up and proclaimed, "I'm sorry as hell man, but it wasn't you. That guy sitting next to you keeps dipping his crackers in your neck." :321GFY :1orglaugh Oz |
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