Are these english texts ok (im not native english) - GoFuckYourself.com

gandalfuy · 08-07-2008, 12:51 AM

Are they ok grammatically?
Do they make sense?

http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?k...styQ_VFchGf-Eg

thanks!

Iron Fist · 08-07-2008, 12:56 AM

Well if we're critiquing grammar...

Yours:
Hi guys, I’m Nina, I just became legal this year and I finally got a chance to explore my naughty side. I always knew I liked girls, but only now I’m getting a chance to be able to show my love for girls for everyone to see… and I’m going to have lots of fun with it!

Mine:
Hi guys, I'm Nina and I just became legal this year! Now I finally get a chance to explore my naughty side. I have always liked girls, but now i'm getting an opportunity to show my love of girls for everyone to see... and I intend to have a lot of fun with it!

Maybe I suck as well... meh, but I think it sounds better.

xxweekxx · 08-07-2008, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharphead

Well if we're critiquing grammar...

Yours:
Hi guys, I’m Nina, I just became legal this year and I finally got a chance to explore my naughty side. I always knew I liked girls, but only now I’m getting a chance to be able to show my love for girls for everyone to see… and I’m going to have lots of fun with it!

Mine:
Hi guys, I'm Nina and I just became legal this year! Now I finally get a chance to explore my naughty side. I have always liked girls, but now i'm getting a chance to show my love of girls for everyone to see... and I intend to have a lot of fun with it!

Maybe I suck as well... meh, but I think it sounds better.

hows this?

Hey guys, I'm Nina and guess what?? I became legal this year! This means that i finally get a chance to be naughty and explore my little fantasy of making out with other girls in front of the camera for everyone to see! I'm going to have lots of fun this year..

something like that.lol

Iron Fist · 08-07-2008, 01:04 AM

I feel like i'm back in college.... shudder.

Lionel · 08-11-2008, 03:42 AM

And for this problem ???

gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?p=14540697#post14540697

DamianJ · 08-11-2008, 03:46 AM

It reads like a translation.

It is clumsy in places and has certain words and phrases that just are wrong.

It's better than a lot of efforts, but it's clearly translated.

I would pay a native English speaker to fix the mistakes.

gandalfuy · 08-11-2008, 03:45 PM

i need native translations...

any recomendation?

CDSmith · 08-11-2008, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gandalfuy

i need native translations...

any recomendation?

I write this kind of copy for a few clients.

It will cost you though. Let me know if interested. 31024634

gandalfuy · 08-11-2008, 04:14 PM

this is more text i got from them

can you tell me where does it show that its clearly a translation?

Watch me party in the great outdoors - If you are a fan of and enjoy nature as much as I do, then you are probably going to love feasting your eyes on how hot being outside gets me… Watch my curvaceous body and beautiful boobs as I get down and dirty for you here and don’t miss a single frame!

On the park crawling naked on all fours - I love to tease the guys on the other side of the camera like you… especially if it’s out in the wild like today. I cooked up a hot little session outdoors where you’ll get to see the best parts of me all naked as I crawls for you on this bench… you better get ready because you are going to love this one boys!

I'm a good girl gone bad! – I may look innocent and cute, but I can be a bad girl when I want, especially to impress a guy… there’s just nothing I won’t do! So here you can watch me playing drums, and taking a piece of clothing off at the time as things start to heat up in here! Watch me play with the drum sticks if you think you can handle what’s coming your way!

Getting wild and naked in the bushes – I never really knew why, but being outside in the forest really gets me hot! I never pass on an opportunity to go outside, but that holds especially true when I know guys are coming over to film me in action… I may be all alone on camera, but I will rock you world playing all on my own today… just watch me!

Getting to play with very interesting farming gadgets – One of the guys took me to a farm the other day to meet some cute little baby goats because everybody knows I like animals so much! I just happen to find it a lot more entertaining once I started taking off my clothes and getting dirty right then and there… is that wrong? Just come in and watch me go!

Getting frisky between the sheets – The day I got these new red sheets for my bed I was thinking of exactly this moment, where I could get all dolled up for you… and then take it all off to give you a peel at my delicious naughty bits! You are going to dig what’s coming at you… I made sure of that!

Tonight I'm cooking up a mean sex recipe – Although I may be skinny and have a lean toned body, I’m the kind of girl that’s always up for eating. But you see… eating is not all I can do in the kitchen, and I’m going to make this a whole lot more interesting for you guys, especially if you stay for when I start pouring water all over my white little shirt… you should come in and join me!

Watch my solo session after school – This little collection of pics was just from a boring afternoon alone. I just couldn’t think of anything better to do than just go ahead and take off my clothes for you. I know how to work my little curves and big butt to help make your dirtiest fantasies come to life, so really you should stay in here and watch me go!

I guess, double the view, double the fun – Is it wrong that I get off on watching myself in the mirror? It’s no secret that I like girls… but I really like my own body as well, so you can guess I can have a really good time all on my own! And trust me I’m going to make it worth it for you too… just come on in and watch me go at it!

Playing nude with heavy oily machinery – This is another one of my favorite places… this spot is one of the best to get away with doing anything naughty without ever getting caught! And yes, that’s just what we did tonight with a friend of mine that wanted to shoot me while I showed him how I like to operate on heavy machinery… naked, of course! Just come in here to check me out!

DARKHORSERIDER · 08-11-2008, 04:29 PM

I'm pure cockney, it looks like the queen wrote it. lol
No slang makes it look too pure and translated.
Try adding some gonna's and wanna's.
"Tonight I'm cooking up a mean sex recipe – Although I may be skinny and have a lean toned body, I’m the kind of girl that’s always up for eating. But you see… eating is not all I can do in the kitchen, and I’m going to make this a whole lot more interesting for you guys, especially if you stay for when I start pouring water all over my white little shirt… you should come in and join me!" <<<<<<<<<< Now thats some longwinded bullshit.

Get some dirty ass motherfucking sluts to write it like Penny Flame. She is shit hot at writing dirty poems.......

CaptainHowdy · 08-11-2008, 04:30 PM

Run it through a translator, gandalf ...

CaptainHowdy · 08-11-2008, 04:33 PM

Crap! Here's the URL: http://www.translationsxxx.com/

CDSmith · 08-11-2008, 04:36 PM

"you’ll get to see the best parts of me all naked as I crawls for you on this bench"

That part isn't well-written at all. Other than that the rest of the text is just okay. It's not going to set off any fireworks, it's just functional.

Angel Martin · 08-11-2008, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharphead

Well if we're critiquing grammar...

Yours:
Hi guys, I?m Nina, I just became legal this year and I finally got a chance to explore my naughty side. I always knew I liked girls, but only now I?m getting a chance to be able to show my love for girls for everyone to see? and I?m going to have lots of fun with it!

Mine:
Hi guys, I'm Nina and I just became legal this year! Now I finally get a chance to explore my naughty side. I have always liked girls, but now i'm getting an opportunity to show my love of girls for everyone to see... and I intend to have a lot of fun with it!

Maybe I suck as well... meh, but I think it sounds better.

the last line would end better with ...and i'm going to make the most out of it!

gandalfuy · 08-11-2008, 06:33 PM

!!!!!!!

08-07-2008, 12:51 AM	#1
gandalfuy Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Montevideo, Uruguay. Posts: 4,686	Are these english texts ok (im not native english) Are they ok grammatically? Do they make sense? http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?k...styQ_VFchGf-Eg thanks! __________________ I'm not back.

08-07-2008, 12:56 AM	#2
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	Well if we're critiquing grammar... Yours: Hi guys, I’m Nina, I just became legal this year and I finally got a chance to explore my naughty side. I always knew I liked girls, but only now I’m getting a chance to be able to show my love for girls for everyone to see… and I’m going to have lots of fun with it! Mine: Hi guys, I'm Nina and I just became legal this year! Now I finally get a chance to explore my naughty side. I have always liked girls, but now i'm getting an opportunity to show my love of girls for everyone to see... and I intend to have a lot of fun with it! Maybe I suck as well... meh, but I think it sounds better. __________________ i like waffles

08-07-2008, 01:04 AM	#4
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	I feel like i'm back in college.... shudder. __________________ i like waffles

08-11-2008, 03:42 AM	#5
Lionel Mobilemaster Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: France Posts: 310	And for this problem ??? gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?p=14540697#post14540697 __________________ iTopX

08-11-2008, 03:45 PM	#7
gandalfuy Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Montevideo, Uruguay. Posts: 4,686	i need native translations... any recomendation? __________________ I'm not back.

08-11-2008, 03:46 AM	#6
DamianJ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A magical land Posts: 15,808	It reads like a translation. It is clumsy in places and has certain words and phrases that just are wrong. It's better than a lot of efforts, but it's clearly translated. I would pay a native English speaker to fix the mistakes.

08-11-2008, 04:14 PM	#9
gandalfuy Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Montevideo, Uruguay. Posts: 4,686	this is more text i got from them can you tell me where does it show that its clearly a translation? Watch me party in the great outdoors - If you are a fan of and enjoy nature as much as I do, then you are probably going to love feasting your eyes on how hot being outside gets me… Watch my curvaceous body and beautiful boobs as I get down and dirty for you here and don’t miss a single frame! On the park crawling naked on all fours - I love to tease the guys on the other side of the camera like you… especially if it’s out in the wild like today. I cooked up a hot little session outdoors where you’ll get to see the best parts of me all naked as I crawls for you on this bench… you better get ready because you are going to love this one boys! I'm a good girl gone bad! – I may look innocent and cute, but I can be a bad girl when I want, especially to impress a guy… there’s just nothing I won’t do! So here you can watch me playing drums, and taking a piece of clothing off at the time as things start to heat up in here! Watch me play with the drum sticks if you think you can handle what’s coming your way! Getting wild and naked in the bushes – I never really knew why, but being outside in the forest really gets me hot! I never pass on an opportunity to go outside, but that holds especially true when I know guys are coming over to film me in action… I may be all alone on camera, but I will rock you world playing all on my own today… just watch me! Getting to play with very interesting farming gadgets – One of the guys took me to a farm the other day to meet some cute little baby goats because everybody knows I like animals so much! I just happen to find it a lot more entertaining once I started taking off my clothes and getting dirty right then and there… is that wrong? Just come in and watch me go! Getting frisky between the sheets – The day I got these new red sheets for my bed I was thinking of exactly this moment, where I could get all dolled up for you… and then take it all off to give you a peel at my delicious naughty bits! You are going to dig what’s coming at you… I made sure of that! Tonight I'm cooking up a mean sex recipe – Although I may be skinny and have a lean toned body, I’m the kind of girl that’s always up for eating. But you see… eating is not all I can do in the kitchen, and I’m going to make this a whole lot more interesting for you guys, especially if you stay for when I start pouring water all over my white little shirt… you should come in and join me! Watch my solo session after school – This little collection of pics was just from a boring afternoon alone. I just couldn’t think of anything better to do than just go ahead and take off my clothes for you. I know how to work my little curves and big butt to help make your dirtiest fantasies come to life, so really you should stay in here and watch me go! I guess, double the view, double the fun – Is it wrong that I get off on watching myself in the mirror? It’s no secret that I like girls… but I really like my own body as well, so you can guess I can have a really good time all on my own! And trust me I’m going to make it worth it for you too… just come on in and watch me go at it! Playing nude with heavy oily machinery – This is another one of my favorite places… this spot is one of the best to get away with doing anything naughty without ever getting caught! And yes, that’s just what we did tonight with a friend of mine that wanted to shoot me while I showed him how I like to operate on heavy machinery… naked, of course! Just come in here to check me out! __________________ I'm not back.

08-11-2008, 04:29 PM	#10
DARKHORSERIDER Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 148	I'm pure cockney, it looks like the queen wrote it. lol No slang makes it look too pure and translated. Try adding some gonna's and wanna's. "Tonight I'm cooking up a mean sex recipe – Although I may be skinny and have a lean toned body, I’m the kind of girl that’s always up for eating. But you see… eating is not all I can do in the kitchen, and I’m going to make this a whole lot more interesting for you guys, especially if you stay for when I start pouring water all over my white little shirt… you should come in and join me!" <<<<<<<<<< Now thats some longwinded bullshit. Get some dirty ass motherfucking sluts to write it like Penny Flame. She is shit hot at writing dirty poems....... __________________ $100 signup bonus for each new affiliate, AWE the biggest program in the CAM industry. 30% RevShare. Free epassporte or payoneer card.This program paid off my house,car and wifey. More Affiliate Programs HERE My ICQ:427-243-134 Last edited by DARKHORSERIDER; 08-11-2008 at 04:31 PM..

08-11-2008, 04:30 PM	#11
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,688	Run it through a translator, gandalf ... __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc. Last edited by CaptainHowdy; 08-11-2008 at 04:31 PM..

08-11-2008, 04:33 PM	#12
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,688	Crap! Here's the URL: http://www.translationsxxx.com/ __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc.

08-11-2008, 04:36 PM	#13
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	"you’ll get to see the best parts of me all naked as I crawls for you on this bench" That part isn't well-written at all. Other than that the rest of the text is just okay. It's not going to set off any fireworks, it's just functional. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

08-11-2008, 06:33 PM	#15
gandalfuy Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Montevideo, Uruguay. Posts: 4,686	!!!!!!! __________________ I'm not back.