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I'm pure cockney, it looks like the queen wrote it. lol
No slang makes it look too pure and translated.
Try adding some gonna's and wanna's.
"Tonight I'm cooking up a mean sex recipe – Although I may be skinny and have a lean toned body, I’m the kind of girl that’s always up for eating. But you see… eating is not all I can do in the kitchen, and I’m going to make this a whole lot more interesting for you guys, especially if you stay for when I start pouring water all over my white little shirt… you should come in and join me!" <<<<<<<<<< Now thats some longwinded bullshit.
Get some dirty ass motherfucking sluts to write it like Penny Flame. She is shit hot at writing dirty poems.......
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