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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#51 | |
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pr0's goat screwed me
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,083
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Quote:
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blah blah blah |
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#52 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 3,027
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HERES A EMAIL I GOT NOT LONG AGO HOPE IT HELPSFASCINATING FACTS FROM BIOLOGY
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat up one cup of coffee. (women yall can heat up the ocean) If you fart constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now, that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper is always smiling? And why isn't the pig included in this list?) On average, people fear spiders more than they do death. A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight, and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of.....?) (Did the gov't.pay for this research?) Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew? Who cares? Did the gov't. pay for this too?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. A cockroach will live 9 days without its head before it starves to death. The male preying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Hi, honey, I'm home. What the.....?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life, I still want to be a pig. Quality over quantity, you know.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, jeez!) Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like this, too.) Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack the asshole upside the head. LONG LIVE THE PIG |
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#53 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: London - UK
Posts: 2,851
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#54 |
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aka K-Man
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Gutter
Posts: 29,295
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![]() my designer apparently has too much time on his hands =-/
__________________
Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor |
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#55 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Dis
Posts: 4,751
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Behold! The results of "Abstinence Only" education programs..
"I had a nightmare in which I had lost my virginity. Even though I?ve never had sex, the dream really disturbed me. If I was in a steamy situation, would I be able to Flee as Joseph did from Potiphar?s wife? Here?s my game plan to avoid sexual immorality: I stay away from magazine photos of women and Sunday paper inserts. I don?t like to fall into temptation. I keep the remote handy to flip channels if seductive ads pop up. The personal sacrifice has been worth it. The hardest part is my thought life. I have to constantly soak up Scripture and battle in prayer to keep lustful thoughts at bay. Some may say, "But Ben, your living in a box." No, I am striving to live a life worthy of my calling in Christ. Jesus of Nazareth did not visit prostitutes for favors or look lustfully at women. No, the Messiah preached sexual purity and went one step further. He lived a life of absolute sexual integrity. The day that I am married, I don?t want to have any regrets. The battle is tough, but He is tougher. Ben Vinje, Minot, N.D." http://www.family.org/teenguys/break.../a0021188.html ![]() |
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#56 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Rosen-Villin
Posts: 5,738
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cold_ice...
30 minutes??? 30???? As in 1800 seconds?????? |
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#57 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 3,027
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HOPE THIS HELPS
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment, "Legs." Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question! Harry replied, "Pockets." Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Harry: Coconut The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge. Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? Harry: Bubblegum Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. Harry: Shake hands Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Harry: Yep. Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Harry: Tent Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. Principal was looking restless and bit tense. Harry: Wedding Ring Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Harry: Nose Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Harry: Arrow Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement? Harry: Firetruck The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself." |
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#58 | |
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aka K-Man
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Gutter
Posts: 29,295
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Quote:
__________________
Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor |
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#59 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,815
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I am the master of the clit! I make that shit work! It does whatever the fuck I tell it to do! No one rules the clit like me!
Not this little fuck! None of you little fucks out there! I am the clit commander!!! Remember that - commander of all clits! |
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#60 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 3,027
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Cheshire thats what they sent me 30 minutes. i dont now if its true i like women myself not into animals but if im ever on a farm ill let you know or ask Gary or somebody
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#61 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 1,922
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Quote:
I hope Kman never wants to be president; his pic will be plastered all over the net inside 1 year. |
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#62 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Rosen-Villin
Posts: 5,738
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I think there's a few other things that would get in the way of kman being Commander In Chief...
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#63 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: In a Bunker
Posts: 868
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n/m
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#64 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 3,027
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Okay Cheshire hope this helps in someway if not by getting you a man and helping you keep him at least to help you put the motion lotion down.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. NO really, you DO have too many shoes. 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping. 1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape. |
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#65 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: cali
Posts: 3,027
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Okay Cheshire give me some love tell me one of those made you smile .
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#66 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Rosen-Villin
Posts: 5,738
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Yes, thank you cold_ice
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#67 | |
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Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Corona Del Mar, CA
Posts: 10,520
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Quote:
(10) 12 pk's = 100.00 (120 cans) (100) 12 pk's = 1000.00 (1200 cans) 1200 cans x .10 cents/can = 120.00 (dunno how you get 214.00) sorry.... had to figure it out myself....... |
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#68 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: az
Posts: 8,464
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Quote:
i always thought the saying went wine her dine her 69 her |
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#69 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: In a Bunker
Posts: 868
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Quote:
__________________
Does anyone look down here? |
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#70 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: LAX Immigration
Posts: 2,940
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#71 | |
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GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!!
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: that 504
Posts: 60,840
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Quote:
that one got me, hahahah
__________________
![]() Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - |
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#72 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: LAX Immigration
Posts: 2,940
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#73 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: LAX Immigration
Posts: 2,940
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#74 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 9,736
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Well, i was on the phone with a friend of mine that i used to go to highschool with. Anways, i was saying that i needed a fair bit of money to get this thing i've been working on going, and he said:
"Damn, you're gonna have to suck a lot of cock to get that kinda money" And not realising how it must have sounded, i replied: "Nah, my mom will help out." Instantly, i knew what i had just said, and we both started pissing ourselves laughing before i managed to shout out "Not a fucking word man!" Anyways, that's my useless humour for the week. And yes, my mom gives me money! I don't care what you think! |
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#75 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 9,736
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Oh, and seeing as people are posting pics too. This little animated gif got more than a chuckle out of me!
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#76 | |
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ex-TeenGodFather
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Suomi Finland Perkele
Posts: 20,306
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Quote:
Damn right! I want one too!! Wooo!
__________________
..and I'm off. |
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#77 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 237
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Todays special
Onions + Beans = Teargas ChrisL |
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#78 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Rosen-Villin
Posts: 5,738
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Ahaha, this is great ~ you guys are funny
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#79 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: oregon.
Posts: 2,243
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Quote:
__________________
php/mysql guru. hosting, coding, all that jazz. |
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#80 |
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Back in Black
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 9,976
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Here's a perfect reason to not leave your kids unattended...
A future graphic designer, for sure! ![]()
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Search Engine Optimization Services for Adult Sites |
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