|
|
|
|
||||
|
Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
 |
|
|||||||
| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
|
|
Thread Tools |
05-28-2002, 10:03 PM
|
#1 |
|
♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: /home
Posts: 15,841
|
Post your worst jokes
Don't ask why, but I need the worst jokes known to man. A joke that is just barely funny even at your drunkest.
Like this: Man: Doctor! Doctor! I've got five penises Doctor: My Goodness! How do you trousers fit? Man: Like a glove! |
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:07 PM
|
#2 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: dallas,texas,usa
Posts: 94
|
A horse walks into a bar.
The bar tender asks, why the long face? |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:07 PM
|
#3 | |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 9,736
|
Quote:
__________________
26 + 6 = 1 |
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:09 PM
|
#4 |
|
aspiring banker
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: toronto
Posts: 10,870
|
what did the elephant say to the naked man?
how do you breathe through that thing? |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:09 PM
|
#5 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 264
|
A man comes to the Doctor's office with a toad on his head, suddenly the toed starts speaking and says:"Doctor, Doctor, Look what is growing out of my butt..."
 
__________________
.. |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:13 PM
|
#6 |
|
$100,000
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 11,452
|
Armed & Hammered
 |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:13 PM
|
#7 |
|
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 3,893
|
A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was a head, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up.
or if thats not pathetic enuff for you... Why do cows moo? Because their horns don't work.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:14 PM
|
#8 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: dallas,texas,usa
Posts: 94
|
frog joke funny
me laugh ha ha |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:18 PM
|
#9 | |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 264
|
Quote:
__________________
.. |
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:25 PM
|
#10 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: dallas,texas,usa
Posts: 94
|
Here's a good one....
...and then WTF? say's, "It's a toad! Call it what it is! " |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:26 PM
|
#11 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oregun
Posts: 4,396
|
A pediphile is walking a little boy out into the forest one night and the little boy says ,"I don't like it out here, I am scared, it's too dark!"
The pediphile then looks down at the boy and says, "You are scared? I have to walk out of here alone later."
__________________
 Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:27 PM
|
#12 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Corona Del Mar, CA
Posts: 10,520
|
How come us guys can sleep on our sides?????
Cuz we've got kickstands!!!!! |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:32 PM
|
#13 | |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 264
|
Quote:
RRRRRRRRRRiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighghghghghghghgh ghghghghghttttttttttttt ....... 
__________________
.. |
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 10:53 PM
|
#14 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oregun
Posts: 4,396
|
A man comes home from work, and his wife says to him, "I can't live with you anymore, i just found out you're a pediphile." The guy says, "pediphile, wow, that's a big word for a twelve year old".
__________________
Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:05 PM
|
#15 | |
|
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: oregon.
Posts: 2,243
|
Quote:
it's pedophile though!
__________________
php/mysql guru. hosting, coding, all that jazz. |
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:06 PM
|
#16 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,656
|
To continue with the pattern....
What's the best thing about a 10 year old girl? When you're done you can roll her over and you have a 10 year old boy. or I like virgins because I like to make my own hole. |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:08 PM
|
#17 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,815
|
How can you tell your daughter's being abused at her day-care center?
You hand her a broom and she straddles it. How can you tell your son's being abused at his day-care center? He won't use a pacifier unless it's got hair on it |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:11 PM
|
#18 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 228
|
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13.
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:14 PM
|
#19 |
|
♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: /home
Posts: 15,841
|
Holy shit...what have I started?
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:14 PM
|
#20 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,815
|
heres one for GOFUCKYOURSELF!
--------------------------------------------------------------------- A man and his grandson are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigarette and lights it. His grandson says, "Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" he says. "No," says the little boy. "Then you're not big enough." A few more minutes pass, and the man takes a beer our of his cooler and opens it. The little boy says, "Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?", he says. "No," says the little boy. "Then you're not old enough." Time passes and they continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry and he reaches into his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one. The grandfather looks at him and says, "Hey they look good. Can I have one of your cookies?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" says the little boy. "I most certainly can!" says the grandfather. "Then go fuck yourself," says the boy, "These are my cookies!" |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:15 PM
|
#21 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,815
|
A little girl asks her father, "where do little girls come from?"
The father says, "they come from a hard-on." The little girl then asks her father, "where does a hard-on come from?" The father says, "little girls!" |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:16 PM
|
#22 |
|
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: oregon.
Posts: 2,243
|
how do you make a 5 year old boy cry twice?
wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear!
__________________
php/mysql guru. hosting, coding, all that jazz. |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:21 PM
|
#23 | |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 264
|
Quote:
Armed & Hammered, this is all on your head! youve unleashed the one eyed monster.
__________________
.. |
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:22 PM
|
#24 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Oregun
Posts: 4,396
|
A guy goes into a drugstore and says "I need condoms for my eleven-year old daughter." The pharmacist says "Your daughter is sexually active at eleven?!" ....the guy says "Nah, she just lies there like her mother."
__________________
Needs some really great hosting? Black Seven note: I do not work for Blackseven... Im just grateful for their kick ass hosting...so quit bothering them when I hurt your feelings... pussy |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:24 PM
|
#25 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,815
|
Mommy, Mommy! Who will I stay with while you are gone?
Grandma Dear, now get in the coffin. Mommy, Mommy! What am I gonna be when I grow up? Nothing, dear. You know you have AIDS! Mommy, Mommy! Can I have tomato soup! Shut up son, you know we can only have it once a month. Mommy, Mommy! Why are we celebrating Christmas in August? Shut up son, you know you have cancer. Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy so pale? Shut up son and keep digging. Mommy, Mommy!, can I go swimming? Shut up son. You know iron lungs don't float! Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac? Shut up son and help me get Grandma off the doorknob! |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:27 PM
|
#26 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 1,159
|
Hosting company: We have redundancy.
Customer: uh ok bawawahaaa
__________________
eventually, earth will lose. enjoy it while it lasts. 
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:31 PM
|
#27 |
|
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,674
|
What's better than having sex with a 18 year old girl?
Flipping her over and pretending she's an 18 year old boy.. EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!  |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:31 PM
|
#28 | |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 264
|
Quote:
__________________
.. |
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:32 PM
|
#29 | |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 264
|
Quote:
When you're done you can roll her over and you have a 10 year old boy.
__________________
.. |
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:33 PM
|
#30 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,815
|
Heres the worst yet!!
What do you say to a girl with No Arms & No Legs?? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nice Tits!!!  |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:33 PM
|
#31 | |
|
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 3,893
|
Quote:
Q:Whats the best part of fucking a 5 year old girl in the ass? A:Flipping her over and finding out it was a 5 year old boy. And before it starts, which i know it will, i'm not gay and I refrain from fucking 5 year olds of either gender.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:36 PM
|
#32 |
|
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,674
|
How do you get 20 elephants out of a car?
The same way they got in... GROANER! |
|
|
|
|
05-28-2002, 11:54 PM
|
#33 |
|
aka K-Man
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Gutter
Posts: 29,292
|
boneprone is hetero
__________________
Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 12:33 AM
|
#34 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Mass Ass
Posts: 5,294
|
this is so fucked up talking about fucking little girls and shit.
oh wait here's one.. why are there 500,000 Battered women in the U.S.A . .. ... .... ..... Because they Dont Listen
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 12:35 AM
|
#35 | |
|
Back in Black
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 9,976
|
Quote:
Before it starts? - Marty already posted that same joke in this thread.
__________________
Search Engine Optimization Services for Adult Sites |
|
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 12:38 AM
|
#36 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 213
|
__________________
40,000+ expired names daily plus a TON more. |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 12:43 AM
|
#37 | |
|
Back in Black
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 9,976
|
Quote:
What do you call a female dinosaur? A Lick-a-lot-a-puss.
__________________
Search Engine Optimization Services for Adult Sites |
|
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 02:06 AM
|
#38 | |
|
Back in Black
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 9,976
|
Quote:
I ment lesbian dinosaur. I tried to go back and edit it, but I couldn't because it was over the 60 minute time limit to edit posts - Man, I just fucked that joke up. 
__________________
Search Engine Optimization Services for Adult Sites |
|
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 02:32 AM
|
#39 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 156
|
Q...How do you get a poofter to have sex with a woman?
A... Put some shit in her cunt! |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 04:32 AM
|
#40 | |
|
Macdaddy coder
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: MacDaddy pimp coder
Posts: 2,806
|
Quote:
AT LEAST HELP HER TO SHAVE...
__________________
MacDaddy Coder. |
|
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 05:00 AM
|
#41 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 156
|
If her bush started on fire how would she put it out?
 |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 06:40 AM
|
#42 |
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
A. Nothing, the bitch has already been told twice. Q. What do you do when your wife comes into the living room and interrupts your football game? A. Go in the kitchen and shorten her chain. Q. How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark. There once was a man named Dave, who dug up a prostitute's grave. She was mouldy as shit and missing a tit, but look at the money he saved. |
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 06:48 AM
|
#43 | |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 177
|
Quote:
Hey that was my joke!! LOL Did you read the same book or did you steal it? LMAO Ok, Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Cause he had NO guts!! LOL
__________________
Platinum Bucks Platinum Dialers $40.00 a signup, Earn Platinum Rewards points with each signup GO BIG GO PLATINUM OR GO HOME!! |
|
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 07:42 AM
|
#44 | |
|
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Houghton, MI
Posts: 7,338
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 07:50 AM
|
#45 |
|
♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: /home
Posts: 15,841
|
What do you do if your Kotex catches on fire?
Throw it on the ground and tampon it. or maybe Why do women have periods? They deserve them! |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 08:45 AM
|
#46 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 3,400
|
I know a joke
2 tits in an enveloppe hahahahaha
__________________
 The new FreeOnes! - AdultFilmStarContent - BabeGalleries and much more! - 1Strike Movies and much more! All powered by Xpressa |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 09:02 AM
|
#47 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 264
|
My turn, My turn ...
How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. However, it takes a whole emergency room to get it out OR How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, They usually screw in cars. OR How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
__________________
.. |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 11:11 AM
|
#48 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Sin City - Nevada
Posts: 156
|
Why Is It Hard For Some Women To Pee In The Morning?
Have you Ever Tried To Pry Apart A Grilled Cheese Sandwich? |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 11:50 AM
|
#49 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Northeast
Posts: 227
|
What do you call a Greek with 500 girlfriends?
A shepard
__________________
Soulcash - They provide contents (HUGE) that CONVERT |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2002, 12:00 PM
|
#50 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 141
|
This one works better as a spoken joke than a written one, but here goes...
An old man walks into a hotel bar and orders a drink. A few moments later, a hooker walks up to him and says "Hey old timer, wanna come upstairs for some super sex?" The old man looks thoughtful for a moment, then replies "I believe I'll have the soup."
__________________
<a href="http://www.topcash.com/">TopCash</a> - paying 6 cents per click - no conversion ratio requirements! <a href="http://www.topbucks.com/">TopBucks</a> $35 - $40 per signup or 80% partnership <a href="http://www.oneverify.com/webmasters/_webmastersinfo.htm">OneVerify.com</a> new AVS paying $20 per TRULY free signup |
|
|
|
