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Post your worst jokes
Don't ask why, but I need the worst jokes known to man. A joke that is just barely funny even at your drunkest.
Like this: Man: Doctor! Doctor! I've got five penises Doctor: My Goodness! How do you trousers fit? Man: Like a glove! |
A horse walks into a bar.
The bar tender asks, why the long face? |
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what did the elephant say to the naked man?
how do you breathe through that thing? |
A man comes to the Doctor's office with a toad on his head, suddenly the toed starts speaking and says:"Doctor, Doctor, Look what is growing out of my butt..."
:evil-laug :eek7 |
Armed & Hammered :winkwink:
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A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was a head, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up.
or if thats not pathetic enuff for you... Why do cows moo? Because their horns don't work. |
frog joke funny
me laugh ha ha :1orglaugh |
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Here's a good one....
...and then WTF? say's, "It's a toad! Call it what it is! " |
A pediphile is walking a little boy out into the forest one night and the little boy says ,"I don't like it out here, I am scared, it's too dark!"
The pediphile then looks down at the boy and says, "You are scared? I have to walk out of here alone later." |
How come us guys can sleep on our sides?????
Cuz we've got kickstands!!!!! |
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RRRRRRRRRRiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighghghghghghghgh ghghghghghttttttttttttt ....... :321GFY |
A man comes home from work, and his wife says to him, "I can't live with you anymore, i just found out you're a pediphile." The guy says, "pediphile, wow, that's a big word for a twelve year old".
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it's pedophile though! |
To continue with the pattern....
What's the best thing about a 10 year old girl? When you're done you can roll her over and you have a 10 year old boy. or I like virgins because I like to make my own hole. |
How can you tell your daughter's being abused at her day-care center?
You hand her a broom and she straddles it. How can you tell your son's being abused at his day-care center? He won't use a pacifier unless it's got hair on it |
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13.
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Holy shit...what have I started?
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heres one for GOFUCKYOURSELF!
--------------------------------------------------------------------- A man and his grandson are fishing by a peaceful lake beneath some weeping willow trees. The man takes out a cigarette and lights it. His grandson says, "Grandpa, Can I try some of your cigarette?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" he says. "No," says the little boy. "Then you're not big enough." A few more minutes pass, and the man takes a beer our of his cooler and opens it. The little boy says, "Grandpa, can I have some of your beer?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?", he says. "No," says the little boy. "Then you're not old enough." Time passes and they continue to fish. The little boy gets hungry and he reaches into his lunch box, takes out a bag of cookies and eats one. The grandfather looks at him and says, "Hey they look good. Can I have one of your cookies?" "Can you touch your asshole with your penis?" says the little boy. "I most certainly can!" says the grandfather. "Then go fuck yourself," says the boy, "These are my cookies!" |
A little girl asks her father, "where do little girls come from?"
The father says, "they come from a hard-on." The little girl then asks her father, "where does a hard-on come from?" The father says, "little girls!" |
how do you make a 5 year old boy cry twice?
wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear! |
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Armed & Hammered, this is all on your head! youve unleashed the one eyed monster. |
A guy goes into a drugstore and says "I need condoms for my eleven-year old daughter." The pharmacist says "Your daughter is sexually active at eleven?!" ....the guy says "Nah, she just lies there like her mother."
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Mommy, Mommy! Who will I stay with while you are gone?
Grandma Dear, now get in the coffin. Mommy, Mommy! What am I gonna be when I grow up? Nothing, dear. You know you have AIDS! Mommy, Mommy! Can I have tomato soup! Shut up son, you know we can only have it once a month. Mommy, Mommy! Why are we celebrating Christmas in August? Shut up son, you know you have cancer. Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy so pale? Shut up son and keep digging. Mommy, Mommy!, can I go swimming? Shut up son. You know iron lungs don't float! Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac? Shut up son and help me get Grandma off the doorknob! |
Hosting company: We have redundancy.
Customer: uh ok bawawahaaa:1orglaugh :1orglaugh |
What's better than having sex with a 18 year old girl?
Flipping her over and pretending she's an 18 year old boy.. EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!:throwup :throwup |
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When you're done you can roll her over and you have a 10 year old boy. :eek7 |
Heres the worst yet!!
What do you say to a girl with No Arms & No Legs?? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nice Tits!!! http://www.adult-marketing.com/sexybtch.jpg |
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Q:Whats the best part of fucking a 5 year old girl in the ass? A:Flipping her over and finding out it was a 5 year old boy. And before it starts, which i know it will, i'm not gay and I refrain from fucking 5 year olds of either gender. |
How do you get 20 elephants out of a car?
The same way they got in... GROANER! |
boneprone is hetero
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this is so fucked up talking about fucking little girls and shit.
oh wait here's one.. why are there 500,000 Battered women in the U.S.A . .. ... .... ..... Because they Dont Listen |
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Before it starts? - Marty already posted that same joke in this thread. :winkwink: |
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Megasaurass :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh 40,000+ expired names daily plus a TON more |
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What do you call a female dinosaur? A Lick-a-lot-a-puss. :winkwink: |
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I ment lesbian dinosaur. I tried to go back and edit it, but I couldn't because it was over the 60 minute time limit to edit posts - Man, I just fucked that joke up. :glugglug |
Q...How do you get a poofter to have sex with a woman?
A... Put some shit in her cunt! |
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AT LEAST HELP HER TO SHAVE... |
If her bush started on fire how would she put it out? :feels-hot
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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
A. Nothing, the bitch has already been told twice. Q. What do you do when your wife comes into the living room and interrupts your football game? A. Go in the kitchen and shorten her chain. Q. How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark. There once was a man named Dave, who dug up a prostitute's grave. She was mouldy as shit and missing a tit, but look at the money he saved. |
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Hey that was my joke!! LOL Did you read the same book or did you steal it? LMAO Ok, Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Cause he had NO guts!! LOL |
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What do you do if your Kotex catches on fire?
Throw it on the ground and tampon it. or maybe Why do women have periods? They deserve them! |
I know a joke
2 tits in an enveloppe hahahahaha |
My turn, My turn ...
How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. However, it takes a whole emergency room to get it out OR How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, They usually screw in cars. OR How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience. |
Why Is It Hard For Some Women To Pee In The Morning?
Have you Ever Tried To Pry Apart A Grilled Cheese Sandwich? |
What do you call a Greek with 500 girlfriends?
A shepard :glugglug |
This one works better as a spoken joke than a written one, but here goes...
An old man walks into a hotel bar and orders a drink. A few moments later, a hooker walks up to him and says "Hey old timer, wanna come upstairs for some super sex?" The old man looks thoughtful for a moment, then replies "I believe I'll have the soup." |
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