How do these people survive? - GoFuckYourself.com

Loryn · 03-22-2006, 05:42 PM

My first thought was that these are unbelievable, but then.............

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half Dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy"

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her with that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister," I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer...Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency

Life is tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid.

Just a little something to make ya'll laugh today, if ya needed it.

Love ya!

Rice_Master · 03-22-2006, 05:43 PM

that's some funny stuff lol, good read.

Ice · 03-22-2006, 05:45 PM

Pretty funny

chadglni · 03-22-2006, 05:46 PM

Hi Loryn,

How about a 2 night stand?

High Plains Drifter · 03-22-2006, 05:48 PM

Ignorance is bliss

sicone · 03-22-2006, 05:50 PM

EdgeXXX · 03-22-2006, 05:50 PM

It's like I always say: "Never underestimate the stupidity of others"

potter · 03-22-2006, 05:55 PM

Violetta · 03-22-2006, 05:57 PM

haha... those are great!!

wargames · 03-22-2006, 05:59 PM

Great post Loryn i cant stop laughing

abyss_al · 03-22-2006, 06:00 PM

there's millions of them...

proof : votes : bush

WiredGuy · 03-22-2006, 06:09 PM

hehe, i like the mcd story.
WG

ozmatt · 03-22-2006, 06:11 PM

haha some really good ones there. silly people

PixeLs · 03-22-2006, 06:22 PM

They could be half of the world's population..

Spunky · 03-22-2006, 06:24 PM

Lol..those are hilarious

introspectivo · 03-22-2006, 06:25 PM

hehe very funny

Furious_Female · 03-22-2006, 06:33 PM

reality is sad

Matt Collins · 03-22-2006, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy

hehe, i like the mcd story.
WG

I can soooo see this happening!!

Matt

poisson · 03-22-2006, 07:01 PM

Thank you for the post Loryn, i feel super-powered now.

edit: typo

WiredGuy · 03-22-2006, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt Collins

I can soooo see this happening!!

Matt

hehe, I know this could so easily happen to the idiots who run the McD's right across the street from my office. I swear those guys can't even count change, let alone get an order right.
WG

u-Bob · 03-22-2006, 07:26 PM

hehe

sniperwolf · 03-22-2006, 07:45 PM

ahaha.. those are great Loryn, thanks so much for sharing

minusonebit · 03-22-2006, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer...Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency

OMG, this actually reminds me of someone...

czarina · 03-22-2006, 08:15 PM

Those are great, and you shoule hear some of the replies that I get sometimes.

GregE · 03-22-2006, 08:22 PM

The really scary part is that most of those people vote... and serve on juries.

Jhaffgina · 03-22-2006, 08:25 PM

Stupid is stupid it doesn't works, hahaha... It's funny puts a smile on my face I can't stop loughing on it.

woj · 03-22-2006, 09:31 PM

that's some funny shit

tony286 · 03-22-2006, 09:37 PM

thanks for the giggle

Peter_ANYwebcam · 03-22-2006, 09:45 PM

some really good stuff there

rodney25 · 03-22-2006, 09:59 PM

I this world, there are three types of people, the stupid, the genius, and pretenders.

BlingDaddy · 03-22-2006, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodney25

I this world, there are three types of people, the stupid, the genius, and pretenders.

Can I pretend to be a stupid genius?

KRL · 03-22-2006, 10:05 PM

The scary part is those are true stories.

rick-e · 03-22-2006, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRL

The scary part is those are true stories.

Scary and sad

Boom2k · 03-22-2006, 10:18 PM

lol people in today's society

Vlad · 03-22-2006, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy"...

ROFL , what a dumb lady , only CDROM's can read the atm thingy on a credit card !

reynold · 03-22-2006, 10:31 PM

i just cant imagine how boring the world would be if there were no DUMB persons!

Egomancer · 03-22-2006, 10:46 PM

Yeah, nice read...

Egomancer

tristan_D · 03-22-2006, 10:51 PM

artificial intelligence is no match to natural stupidity

MandyBlake · 03-22-2006, 10:51 PM

that's sooo fucking scary.

WWC-Pajio · 03-22-2006, 10:55 PM

Intresting stuff you post.. hehe

reed_4 · 03-22-2006, 11:19 PM

LoL! that was fun Loryn, thanks.

emthree · 03-22-2006, 11:24 PM

ROFL @ ant killer.
Thanks for the laugh.

Vitasoy · 03-22-2006, 11:32 PM

Those are great.. lol

SilentKnight · 03-22-2006, 11:42 PM

I was in a local variety store buyin' a few things and while standin' at the counter, I picked out a few pepperette sticks from a plastic container they had on the counter next to the cash register.

The goth(ish) chick behind the counter rings up the items and I pay for the stuff. She pulls out a small paper bag from under the counter and starts putting the items inside for me.

She gets everything in the bag except the pepperettes, and then says to me, "Sorry, but can you put those in the bag, please? I'm a vegetarian and its against my beliefs to touch meat."

It took me a few seconds for the ridiculous statement to register on me, but then I quickly said, "I guess there's little chance of you ever getting preggers then, huh?"

Clueless, she gave me this rather puzzled look and merely shrugged her shoulders. I stashed the pepperettes in the bag myself and walked out of the store still laughing.

True story...

03-22-2006, 05:42 PM	#1
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	How do these people survive? My first thought was that these are unbelievable, but then............. ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half Dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy" FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her with that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister," I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich. SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer...Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency Life is tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid. Just a little something to make ya'll laugh today, if ya needed it. Love ya! __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

03-22-2006, 05:43 PM	#2
Rice_Master Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 1,582	that's some funny stuff lol, good read. __________________ Icq: 31706665

03-22-2006, 05:45 PM	#3
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	Pretty funny __________________ icq 1904905

03-22-2006, 05:46 PM	#4
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03-22-2006, 05:48 PM	#5
High Plains Drifter Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: ♠ ♣ ♥ Posts: 2,341	Ignorance is bliss __________________

03-22-2006, 05:50 PM	#6
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03-22-2006, 05:50 PM	#7
EdgeXXX Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Secretely plotting a hostile takeover Posts: 5,816	It's like I always say: "Never underestimate the stupidity of others" __________________ . . . . I have a sig

03-22-2006, 05:55 PM	#8
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03-22-2006, 05:57 PM	#9
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03-22-2006, 05:59 PM	#10
wargames Kliris Join Date: May 2003 Location: ca Posts: 10,423	Great post Loryn i cant stop laughing __________________ ICQ 212-115-582 Email Steve at Vas Media Group .com

03-22-2006, 06:00 PM	#11
abyss_al LOOKING FOR TRADES Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 15,605	there's millions of them... proof : votes : bush __________________ EMAIL: allen @ vasmediagroup.com \| ICQ: 311329761 \| SKYPE: abyss.al \| AIM: xABYSSxALx

03-22-2006, 06:09 PM	#12
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,503	hehe, i like the mcd story. WG __________________ I play with Google.

03-22-2006, 06:11 PM	#13
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03-22-2006, 06:22 PM	#14
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	They could be half of the world's population.. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

03-22-2006, 06:24 PM	#15
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,970	Lol..those are hilarious __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

03-22-2006, 06:25 PM	#16
introspectivo Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 395	hehe very funny __________________

03-22-2006, 06:33 PM	#17
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03-22-2006, 07:01 PM	#19
poisson Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sea Posts: 6,474	Thank you for the post Loryn, i feel super-powered now. edit: typo __________________

03-22-2006, 07:26 PM	#21
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	hehe

03-22-2006, 07:45 PM	#22
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	ahaha.. those are great Loryn, thanks so much for sharing __________________ ~Accepting design works~

03-22-2006, 08:15 PM	#24
czarina Webmaster Extraordinaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: A beautiful beach... Posts: 10,748	Those are great, and you shoule hear some of the replies that I get sometimes.

03-22-2006, 08:22 PM	#25
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03-22-2006, 08:25 PM	#26
Jhaffgina Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 180	Stupid is stupid it doesn't works, hahaha... It's funny puts a smile on my face I can't stop loughing on it.

03-22-2006, 09:31 PM	#27
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03-22-2006, 09:37 PM	#28
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	thanks for the giggle

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03-22-2006, 09:59 PM	#30
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03-22-2006, 10:05 PM	#32
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03-22-2006, 10:18 PM	#34
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03-22-2006, 10:31 PM	#36
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	i just cant imagine how boring the world would be if there were no DUMB persons!

03-22-2006, 10:46 PM	#37
Egomancer Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Bucharest, Romania Posts: 2,074	Yeah, nice read... Egomancer __________________ ICQ: 95-239-282 WWW: www.webprogrammers.eu WWW:www.seodev.eu Y!MSN: lord_ender If you want to outsource any work to Romania - here I am !!!! www.anotheranime.com \| www.autotrafic.ro \| www.jocurionline.ro

03-22-2006, 10:51 PM	#38
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03-22-2006, 10:51 PM	#39
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03-22-2006, 10:55 PM	#40
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03-22-2006, 11:19 PM	#41
reed_4 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 9,640	LoL! that was fun Loryn, thanks. __________________