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Loryn 03-22-2006 05:42 PM

How do these people survive?
 
My first thought was that these are unbelievable, but then.............


ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half Dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets


TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.


THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy"


FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."


FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her with that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.


SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister," I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.


SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"


EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.


NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer...Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency


Life is tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid. :1orglaugh

Just a little something to make ya'll laugh today, if ya needed it. :winkwink:

Love ya! :wetkiss

Rice_Master 03-22-2006 05:43 PM

that's some funny stuff lol, good read.

Ice 03-22-2006 05:45 PM

Pretty funny :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :thumbsup

chadglni 03-22-2006 05:46 PM

Hi Loryn,

How about a 2 night stand?

High Plains Drifter 03-22-2006 05:48 PM

Ignorance is bliss :)

sicone 03-22-2006 05:50 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

EdgeXXX 03-22-2006 05:50 PM

It's like I always say: "Never underestimate the stupidity of others"

potter 03-22-2006 05:55 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Violetta 03-22-2006 05:57 PM

haha... those are great!!

wargames 03-22-2006 05:59 PM

Great post Loryn i cant stop laughing :)

abyss_al 03-22-2006 06:00 PM

there's millions of them...

proof : votes : bush

WiredGuy 03-22-2006 06:09 PM

hehe, i like the mcd story.
WG

ozmatt 03-22-2006 06:11 PM

haha some really good ones there. silly people

PixeLs 03-22-2006 06:22 PM

They could be half of the world's population..

Spunky 03-22-2006 06:24 PM

Lol..those are hilarious

introspectivo 03-22-2006 06:25 PM

hehe very funny

Furious_Female 03-22-2006 06:33 PM

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh reality is sad

Matt Collins 03-22-2006 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy
hehe, i like the mcd story.
WG


I can soooo see this happening!!

Matt

poisson 03-22-2006 07:01 PM

Thank you for the post Loryn, i feel super-powered now.


edit: typo

WiredGuy 03-22-2006 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt Collins
I can soooo see this happening!!

Matt


hehe, I know this could so easily happen to the idiots who run the McD's right across the street from my office. I swear those guys can't even count change, let alone get an order right.
WG

u-Bob 03-22-2006 07:26 PM

hehe :)

sniperwolf 03-22-2006 07:45 PM

ahaha.. those are great Loryn, thanks so much for sharing

minusonebit 03-22-2006 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer...Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency

OMG, this actually reminds me of someone...

czarina 03-22-2006 08:15 PM

Those are great, and you shoule hear some of the replies that I get sometimes.

GregE 03-22-2006 08:22 PM

The really scary part is that most of those people vote... and serve on juries.

Jhaffgina 03-22-2006 08:25 PM

Stupid is stupid it doesn't works, hahaha... It's funny puts a smile on my face I can't stop loughing on it.

woj 03-22-2006 09:31 PM

:1orglaugh that's some funny shit

tony286 03-22-2006 09:37 PM

thanks for the giggle

Peter_ANYwebcam 03-22-2006 09:45 PM

some really good stuff there :thumbsup

rodney25 03-22-2006 09:59 PM

I this world, there are three types of people, the stupid, the genius, and pretenders.

BlingDaddy 03-22-2006 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rodney25
I this world, there are three types of people, the stupid, the genius, and pretenders.

Can I pretend to be a stupid genius?
:1orglaugh

KRL 03-22-2006 10:05 PM

The scary part is those are true stories.

:1orglaugh

rick-e 03-22-2006 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRL
The scary part is those are true stories.

:1orglaugh

Scary and sad :( :helpme :(

Boom2k 03-22-2006 10:18 PM

lol people in today's society

Vlad 03-22-2006 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy"...


ROFL , what a dumb lady , only CDROM's can read the atm thingy on a credit card ! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

reynold 03-22-2006 10:31 PM

i just cant imagine how boring the world would be if there were no DUMB persons!

Egomancer 03-22-2006 10:46 PM

Yeah, nice read...

Egomancer

tristan_D 03-22-2006 10:51 PM

artificial intelligence is no match to natural stupidity

MandyBlake 03-22-2006 10:51 PM

that's sooo fucking scary.

WWC-Pajio 03-22-2006 10:55 PM

Intresting stuff you post.. hehe :winkwink: :thumbsup

reed_4 03-22-2006 11:19 PM

LoL! that was fun Loryn, thanks.

emthree 03-22-2006 11:24 PM

ROFL @ ant killer.
Thanks for the laugh.

Vitasoy 03-22-2006 11:32 PM

Those are great.. lol

SilentKnight 03-22-2006 11:42 PM

I was in a local variety store buyin' a few things and while standin' at the counter, I picked out a few pepperette sticks from a plastic container they had on the counter next to the cash register.

The goth(ish) chick behind the counter rings up the items and I pay for the stuff. She pulls out a small paper bag from under the counter and starts putting the items inside for me.

She gets everything in the bag except the pepperettes, and then says to me, "Sorry, but can you put those in the bag, please? I'm a vegetarian and its against my beliefs to touch meat."

It took me a few seconds for the ridiculous statement to register on me, but then I quickly said, "I guess there's little chance of you ever getting preggers then, huh?"

Clueless, she gave me this rather puzzled look and merely shrugged her shoulders. I stashed the pepperettes in the bag myself and walked out of the store still laughing.

True story...


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