Fucking fleshlight showed up today! - GoFuckYourself.com

John Hughes · 01-18-2006, 09:51 PM

Forked out $57.90 for a fucking "pink; lady; wonder wave" fleshlight from fleshlight.com
Today I went out to feed the hogs (no joke, I'm a freaking country boy) and found a chewed up fleshlight on my porch. The whole fucking thing was mangled. I guess fedex had no fucking brains so they dropped it on my porch next to the dog and drove away.
Didn't even get to use the fucking thing!

I haven't decided if I'm going to waste my money and order another or not.

wdforty · 01-18-2006, 09:52 PM

I wonder if your dog enjoyed it

Spunky · 01-18-2006, 09:53 PM

Hopefully doggy got in a stroke or two

John Hughes · 01-18-2006, 09:54 PM

She's an English Mastive, she'd had to have used her tongue!

Juicy D. Links · 01-18-2006, 10:17 PM

pics????????????

woj · 01-18-2006, 10:24 PM

post pics, I'm sure juicy will hook you up with a free replacement if your story is legit...

jacked · 01-18-2006, 10:29 PM

thats a pretty fucked up story man

did the dog enjoy it?

Donny · 01-18-2006, 10:44 PM

This is a true story. John called me on my cell phone all pissed off. I couldn't help laughing but he didn't find it funny at all.

FleshJoe2005 · 01-18-2006, 10:51 PM

LOL. They have a return policy no questions asked.

Check out http://www.fleshlight.com/main/order_info.php from which I quote:

Quote:

What is your return policy?

If you are dissatisfied with your selection for any reason within the first 30 days of purchase, you may return it for a store credit or exchange. We will, based on your preference, either replace the item free of charge (for defective products) or provide store credit in the amount of your original purchase (excluding shipping and handling).
To inquire about returning a product, contact us and provide your name, order ID and a brief description of the problem. We will send you complete instructions on how to return your package. Please be aware that we cannot accept return merchandise that arrives without an RMA number on the outside of the package. Please note that store credits cannot be processed until we have received your returned merchandise.

Shipping charges will only be refunded in cases where our error caused the return or the item is defective.

John Hughes · 01-18-2006, 11:03 PM

How rude of me to make such a post without pics!
I'll have to take some tomorrow in the daylight, I managed to find the base and the chewed up box. She didn't mess with the plastic enclosure, but she really fucked up the insert. I'll post some pics of the Puppy too, she's only 5 months old... 100lbs or so.

tristan_D · 01-18-2006, 11:10 PM

if only fleshlights will from the sky.

Juicy D. Links · 01-18-2006, 11:15 PM

John email me [email protected] send me the order ID if you got it ill take care of it.

Donny · 01-18-2006, 11:15 PM

I can also attest to the fact that his dog is huge.

FlogTheLog · 01-18-2006, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

Hopefully doggy got in a stroke or two

John Hughes · 01-18-2006, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

John email me [email protected] send me the order ID if you got it ill take care of it.

Cool... You the man!

Juicy D. Links · 01-18-2006, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Hughes

Cool... You the man!

post some pics 2 2morrow i gotta see this shit lollllllllll

John Hughes · 01-19-2006, 06:35 PM

I did a little investigating on the John Hughes Ranch today to try and figure out who or what chewed up my Pink Lady Fleshlight Insert!

I started gathering evidence from the location where I believe the crime took place..

Here is my prime suspect!
Juliet the 6 month old English Mastive! She even looks guilty... She was questioned, but denied any contact with the box.

She just looked the other way....

I put the remaining evidence on the table....

But she was sticking with her innocence.....

So I questioned the EMU......

and he said "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!!"

But then he figured it out and started humping the box with his neck! Needless to say, I think he's innocent.....

Juliet finally confessed! GUILTY!

THE END!

Ice · 01-19-2006, 06:39 PM

Love the pics

directfiesta · 01-19-2006, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Hughes

I did a little investigating on the John Hughes Ranch today to try and figure out who or what chewed up my Pink Lady Fleshlight Insert!

I started gathering evidence from the location where I believe the crime took place..

Great post .. reads like one of those mystery novels ....

JUICY, he deserves 2 fleshlights for this post

JoeMeca · 01-19-2006, 06:44 PM

yea great thread!

wdsguy · 01-19-2006, 06:46 PM

John where the heck are ya? looks like you are up in central california somewhere.

PixeLs · 01-19-2006, 06:51 PM

Hahahaha nice pics.. Cute suspect by the way.

John Hughes · 01-19-2006, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wdsguy

John where the heck are ya? looks like you are up in central california somewhere.

Yup, Chico/Redding!

Juicy D. Links · 01-19-2006, 07:41 PM

lolllllllllllllll John!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got your email bro

marketsmart · 01-19-2006, 07:50 PM

with birds and hogs, who needs a fleshlight.....

John Hughes · 01-19-2006, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marketsmart

with birds and hogs, who needs a fleshlight.....

I can't get'em to hold still.... What's your secret?

Juicy D. Links · 01-19-2006, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Hughes

I can't get'em to hold still.... What's your secret?

crockett · 01-19-2006, 07:53 PM

lol at the fleshlight and wtf is that birl a emu?

marketsmart · 01-19-2006, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Hughes

I can't get'em to hold still.... What's your secret?

I tell them they have a real pretty mouth and them play dueling banjos on my harmonica....

give it a try....

"and a country boy can survive"

Donny · 01-20-2006, 09:29 AM

OMFG, this thread is hilarious!!

EroticySteve · 01-20-2006, 09:37 AM

That's an interesting dog toy.

John Hughes · 01-20-2006, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marketsmart

I tell them they have a real pretty mouth and them play dueling banjos on my harmonica....

give it a try....

"and a country boy can survive"

IT WORKED!!!

Juicy D. Links · 01-20-2006, 02:22 PM

John sending you another one bro

Juicy D. Links · 01-20-2006, 02:23 PM

btw can i get 2257 docs on the Emu?lololol

John Hughes · 01-20-2006, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

btw can i get 2257 docs on the Emu?lololol

I can MAKE THAT HAPPEN!

sfera · 01-20-2006, 02:33 PM

post ur videos lol

Juicy D. Links · 01-20-2006, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Hughes

I can MAKE THAT HAPPEN!

please have hoof prints on em also

Hollywood Horwitz · 01-20-2006, 03:17 PM

love the pics and the fleshlight story, i almost cried...

Violetta · 01-20-2006, 03:47 PM

lol... that sucks!

Donny · 01-20-2006, 08:20 PM

This thread needs a major bump...

Juicy D. Links · 01-20-2006, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donny

This thread needs a major bump...

Midwest Shane · 01-21-2006, 01:03 AM

Ok now this was a funny post! Melissa

boner 2.0 · 01-21-2006, 01:06 AM

.......... we are eating emu for dinner

01-18-2006, 09:51 PM	#1
John Hughes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: California Posts: 177	Fucking fleshlight showed up today! Forked out $57.90 for a fucking "pink; lady; wonder wave" fleshlight from fleshlight.com Today I went out to feed the hogs (no joke, I'm a freaking country boy) and found a chewed up fleshlight on my porch. The whole fucking thing was mangled. I guess fedex had no fucking brains so they dropped it on my porch next to the dog and drove away. Didn't even get to use the fucking thing! I haven't decided if I'm going to waste my money and order another or not.

01-18-2006, 09:52 PM	#2
wdforty Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 1,824	I wonder if your dog enjoyed it __________________ icq 157542142

01-18-2006, 09:53 PM	#3
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	Hopefully doggy got in a stroke or two __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

01-18-2006, 10:24 PM	#6
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	post pics, I'm sure juicy will hook you up with a free replacement if your story is legit... __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

01-18-2006, 10:29 PM	#7
jacked sperm tail Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: nj Posts: 11,019	thats a pretty fucked up story man did the dog enjoy it? __________________ Got Cam Models? icq: 361-607-616

01-18-2006, 09:54 PM	#4
John Hughes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: California Posts: 177	She's an English Mastive, she'd had to have used her tongue!

01-18-2006, 10:17 PM	#5
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	pics????????????

01-18-2006, 10:44 PM	#8
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	This is a true story. John called me on my cell phone all pissed off. I couldn't help laughing but he didn't find it funny at all.

01-18-2006, 11:03 PM	#10
John Hughes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: California Posts: 177	How rude of me to make such a post without pics! I'll have to take some tomorrow in the daylight, I managed to find the base and the chewed up box. She didn't mess with the plastic enclosure, but she really fucked up the insert. I'll post some pics of the Puppy too, she's only 5 months old... 100lbs or so.

01-18-2006, 11:10 PM	#11
tristan_D Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 7,865	if only fleshlights will from the sky. __________________ Increase your sales. Up to $4 per click.

01-18-2006, 11:15 PM	#12
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	John email me [email protected] send me the order ID if you got it ill take care of it.

01-19-2006, 06:35 PM	#17
John Hughes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: California Posts: 177	I did a little investigating on the John Hughes Ranch today to try and figure out who or what chewed up my Pink Lady Fleshlight Insert! I started gathering evidence from the location where I believe the crime took place.. Here is my prime suspect! Juliet the 6 month old English Mastive! She even looks guilty... She was questioned, but denied any contact with the box. She just looked the other way.... I put the remaining evidence on the table.... But she was sticking with her innocence..... So I questioned the EMU...... and he said "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!!" But then he figured it out and started humping the box with his neck! Needless to say, I think he's innocent..... Juliet finally confessed! GUILTY! THE END!

01-19-2006, 06:39 PM	#18
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	Love the pics __________________ icq 1904905

01-19-2006, 06:44 PM	#20
JoeMeca So Fucking Banned Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Juicy's House! Icq: 265529404 Posts: 2,266	yea great thread!

01-19-2006, 06:46 PM	#21
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	John where the heck are ya? looks like you are up in central california somewhere.

01-19-2006, 06:51 PM	#22
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	Hahahaha nice pics.. Cute suspect by the way. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

01-19-2006, 07:41 PM	#24
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	lolllllllllllllll John!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got your email bro

01-19-2006, 07:50 PM	#25
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	with birds and hogs, who needs a fleshlight.....

01-19-2006, 07:53 PM	#28
crockett in a van by the river Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 76,806	lol at the fleshlight and wtf is that birl a emu? __________________ In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator.

01-20-2006, 09:29 AM	#30
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	OMFG, this thread is hilarious!!

01-20-2006, 09:37 AM	#31
EroticySteve Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The Sunshine State Posts: 4,365	That's an interesting dog toy. __________________ You deserve to make more money. I'll help you do that. Our affiliates earn up to $3/email or $107/sale email steve <at> eroticy.com - icq 290153464

01-20-2006, 02:22 PM	#33
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	John sending you another one bro

01-20-2006, 02:23 PM	#34
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	btw can i get 2257 docs on the Emu?lololol

01-20-2006, 02:33 PM	#36
sfera Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: ICQ: 248877409 Posts: 8,597	post ur videos lol

01-20-2006, 03:17 PM	#38
Hollywood Horwitz Porn To ROCK! Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hollywood Posts: 4,357	love the pics and the fleshlight story, i almost cried... __________________ Ross Horwitz Skype: RossAngeles666 Online Ad Sales / Email / Display Ads / Mobile Cell.323.949.4313 [email protected]

01-20-2006, 03:47 PM	#39
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	lol... that sucks! __________________ M&A Queen

01-20-2006, 08:20 PM	#40
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	This thread needs a major bump...

01-21-2006, 01:03 AM	#42
Midwest Shane ValMidwest rocks Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Lincoln, Nebraska Posts: 1,202	Ok now this was a funny post! Melissa __________________ ValMidWest.com MelissaMidwest.com FoxyJacky.com SweetAdri.com

01-21-2006, 01:06 AM	#43
boner 2.0 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 10,970	.......... we are eating emu for dinner