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Old 01-06-2006, 11:52 AM   #51
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Old 01-06-2006, 11:52 AM   #52
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My wife is paying $500 a month for her daughter here in PA. The daughter lives with her dad since the school districts are MUCH better where he lives and for the longest time would battle us in court for visitation that its not a good idea. ( He didnt like my wife getting remarried, its a I cant have you, no one will kinda asshole )

The courts here take the child's point into view, now that she's 14 she can pick and choose... so, what does dad do?...

You can go to see your mom at her house *or* go with me to Great Adventure ( amusement park ) ... at 13, what would you take?

This has been going on time and time again with these idiots and no matter what shit they put us thru, I'll pay and hopefully one day have her see the light and at least be able to talk to her mother without that being followed with legal papers.

Some men are really fucked up absolutely, when it comes to letting go of the past and allowing people to move on. The one fact most dont realize when using kids as pawns... you dont get this time back of their childhood.

Only 4 more years until she can contact us on her own, My door will be forever open to her.

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Old 01-06-2006, 11:52 AM   #53
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I don't know much about child support matters but I think most men do pay child support. The whole 'dead beat dad' thing is over rated.

Many times also, I think fathers try to see their kids but the mothers who generally have custody make it difficult for them to see the kids. The situation spirals downward from there.
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Old 01-06-2006, 11:53 AM   #54
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I live in california. If that matters. And i am no expert on anything, just what i know from friends' experiences.
I live in TX...Harris county -- Houston, to be exact...and THAT means everything

If things are going shitty with your marriage and you have kids, move to Houston for a bit...6 months...then file first
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Old 01-06-2006, 11:53 AM   #55
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I know Tom it happens both ways, but the majority of cases it's women with custody and bitches who call themselves men who can't / won't man up and pay for their kids.
Yealp anyone that can own up to their own kids are worthless men/women

Tom
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Old 01-06-2006, 11:54 AM   #56
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Originally Posted by Herb Kornfield
My wife is paying $500 a month for her daughter here in PA. The daughter lives with her dad since the school districts are MUCH better where he lives and for the longest time would battle us in court for visitation that its not a good idea.

The courts here take the child's point into view, now that she's 14 she can pick and choose... so, what does dad do?...

You can go to see your mom at her house *or* go with me to great adventure ( amusement park ) ... at 13, what would you take?

This has been going on time and time again with these idiots and no matter what shit they put us thru, I'll pay and hopefully one day have her see the light and at least be able to talk to her mother without that being followed with legal papers.

Some men are really fucked up absolutely, when it comes to letting go of the past and allowing people to move on with their lives and not playing shithead games.
Yep the manipulation that goes on during these struggles are absolutely bizarre.

I saw it from both sides, my father and mother...they both did and said some really fucked up shit.
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Old 01-06-2006, 11:56 AM   #57
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Another thing, these guys who complain that their kids show up in old clothes etc.
Like I said they are paying 15-30% of their income which could be as little as $200-$300 a month for their one kid.

If a mom cannot make a decent living, that $300 a month may just have them breaking even. Just because the mom or dad gets child support does not mean that they are not living at or below the poverty line.
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Old 01-06-2006, 11:57 AM   #58
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I have NEVER heard of that. Where does that happen?
As bizarre as it sounds, it happens all the time. If there is one father listed on the birth certificate, and later it's found that another actually fathered the child, many times the courts continue to view the birth certificate father as the legal father.
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Old 01-06-2006, 11:59 AM   #59
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As bizarre as it sounds, it happens all the time. If there is one father listed on the birth certificate, and later it's found that another actually fathered the child, many times the courts continue to view the birth certificate father as the legal father.
Yep, which is why any man who is just sleeping around gets that call should have a paternity test done before he accepts responsiblity for that child.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:01 PM   #60
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Why not?
Because her mom says so
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:02 PM   #61
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Because her mom says so
Did the court make a ruling about your visitation or did the court leave that all up to the mother?!?
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:05 PM   #62
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Why does anyone even bother responding in this thread? This is Eros' thread - anything posted that doesn't agree with him will just be cut down and called bullshit. No one's opinion's mean jack shit unless you are on his side. Pathetic actually that this is a "discussion" forum
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:06 PM   #63
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Why does anyone even bother responding in this thread? This is Eros' thread - anything posted that doesn't agree with him will just be cut down and called bullshit. No one's opinion's mean jack shit unless you are on his side. Pathetic actually that this is a "discussion" forum
I am not in disagreement with eros...and I am here to pad my post count just like everyone else
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:08 PM   #64
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Why does anyone even bother responding in this thread? This is Eros' thread - anything posted that doesn't agree with him will just be cut down and called bullshit. No one's opinion's mean jack shit unless you are on his side. Pathetic actually that this is a "discussion" forum
Boo fucking hoo.

You asked me to rebut your post...so I did.

The point man is I don't care how much your cousin is paying and I honestly don't care what his ex is doing wrong.

His responsibility does not end at the signing of a check or at his disdain for his ex's life...that's just where it begins.

Do you not get that?

Let me slow it down for you.

He could be paying $1,000 a month...if he's making $3,000 a month that's what would be going towards her care and well being if she lived with him.

He could be paying $300 a month, and just because his ex is a bitch, a drug addict whatever doesn't mean he shouldn't pick up the slack if his daughter needs it.

He may very well do that...good for him if he does.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:18 PM   #65
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Did the court make a ruling about your visitation or did the court leave that all up to the mother?!?
Court says I'm entitled to see my girl. But she thinks otherwise, and here in The Netherlands, women can get away with it..
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:19 PM   #66
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"He could be paying $300 a month, and just because his ex is a bitch, a drug addict whatever doesn't mean he shouldn't pick up the slack if his daughter needs it."

Well thats where reform laws in Custody/Child Support must take place.
That money is supposed to be considered for use on the siblings, but generally it is not nor is it required by anymeans.

The Ex Wives out there are able to spend the money any way they see fit.
I can't see how the check is benefitting a kid if Daddy is paying for mommies drug habit.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:25 PM   #67
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If the child lived with you 100% of your income would be going to their support.
You're lucky to only be paying 15-30% you stupid fucking tards.
Frankly -- you're the one that's retarded.

The national wage average is 35,648.55. As an "average" wage earner, you would be placed in the 25+ tax bracket on the hook for $5,580. Adding to that your 15-30%, which places another $5,350 or $10,700 on average joe. Add to that state/local taxes which normally total about 5% or $1,800.

Out of $35,700, average joe has either $23K/year or $18.5K/year to live on...
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:25 PM   #68
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Court says I'm entitled to see my girl. But she thinks otherwise, and here in The Netherlands, women can get away with it..
Can they get away with it because no one has the balls to fight the women there or is it genuinely the courts won't enforce their own rulings?
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:26 PM   #69
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"He could be paying $300 a month, and just because his ex is a bitch, a drug addict whatever doesn't mean he shouldn't pick up the slack if his daughter needs it."

Well thats where reform laws in Custody/Child Support must take place.
That money is supposed to be considered for use on the siblings, but generally it is not nor is it required by anymeans.

The Ex Wives out there are able to spend the money any way they see fit.
I can't see how the check is benefitting a kid if Daddy is paying for mommies drug habit.
Your point is valid and invalid to some degree.

The reason I say that is that some guy sends $300 in child support..he all of a sudden thinks he better see $300 worth of whatever spent on his child the next time he gets visitation.

That $300 is not just for clothes, toys etc...It's for rent, utilities, food, healthcare..things a lot of ex's don't want to see.

If the ex truly has a drug habit and it can be proven, then the parent should be exhausting all their resources to get custody of that child.

My point above was that just because you think your ex is being a bad parent, does not mean you don't have to pay more than what you do in child support...your financial reponsibility does not end with what the court tells you, you have to pay.

Technically, legally yes it does. But morally it doesn't.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:27 PM   #70
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Frankly -- you're the one that's retarded.

The national wage average is 35,648.55. As an "average" wage earner, you would be placed in the 25+ tax bracket on the hook for $5,580. Adding to that your 15-30%, which places another $5,350 or $10,700 on average joe. Add to that state/local taxes which normally total about 5% or $1,800.

Out of $35,700, average joe has either $23K/year or $18.5K/year to live on...
Be above average then! Who can fucking live off of $35k anyway?
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:28 PM   #71
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He could be paying $1,000 a month...if he's making $3,000 a month that's what would be going towards her care and well being if she lived with him.
No -- it wouldn't... Christ, you're dense.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:29 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by broke
Frankly -- you're the one that's retarded.

The national wage average is 35,648.55. As an "average" wage earner, you would be placed in the 25+ tax bracket on the hook for $5,580. Adding to that your 15-30%, which places another $5,350 or $10,700 on average joe. Add to that state/local taxes which normally total about 5% or $1,800.

Out of $35,700, average joe has either $23K/year or $18.5K/year to live on...
LOL so. If you had a kid then 100% of that would be going to taking care of your child.

dude, I have been taking care of my nieces on and off for 11 years...my brother in law out of the last 15 years has paid the equivalent of about 2 years in child support.

I know what the costs are involved in taking care of a child, and even if he gave us the $350 to "help" that would just cover food, and 1 utility...while I pay the rest of the bills..that does not include clothing, school activities, school uniforms, health care, etc..etc..etc.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:31 PM   #73
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Be above average then! Who can fucking live off of $35k anyway?
Who said I'm not???

I'm just using averages and statisics to point out the flaws in an argument.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:33 PM   #74
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Who said I'm not???

I'm just using averages and statisics to point out the flaws in an argument.
You're not using shit.

If I was making $36K a year with two kids, that $36K a year would go towards providing them the essentials...that's not debateable.

I may not spend the entire $36K a year, but if I had to I would.

Now if I was making $36K a year with two kids that lived with their mother and had to spend $350 a month on child support then the most I have at risk is $4,200 if that's all I spend on them.

What do you not get? And you call me dense...LOL
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:35 PM   #75
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LOL so. If you had a kid then 100% of that would be going to taking care of your child.
No -- it wouldn't and doesn't.

Thanks for playing.


If 100% went towards taking care of the "children", I'd have no 401K, no IRA, no Roth IRA, no car, and wouldn't eat or drink.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:37 PM   #76
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Originally Posted by broke
No -- it wouldn't and doesn't.

Thanks for playing.


If 100% went towards taking care of the "children", I'd have no 401K, no IRA, no Roth IRA, no car, and would eat or drink.
dumb shit, taking care of your children would include paying for retirement, providing a car for necessary travel, buying food and drink
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:41 PM   #77
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Some states have mandatory percentages of income they use for calculating child support. Some states take both parents income levels into consideration when calculating child support. Frankly, it depends on the state. The one time I tried to get child support enforced by two different states, they basically told me to forget it, not going to happen, since it takes sometimes months of employment in a new place for the state to catch the fact that the SSN matches a deadbeat dad, and to start garnishing wages. Most of the true deadbeats will simply quit and go to work somewhere else as soon as the garnishes start coming out.

My son will be 15 in March, and for the last 13 years, I've paid all his bills. I'm a lot luckier than most women, that's for sure. If I was a secretary or a teacher or something like that, I don't know what the hell I'd have done to keep a roof over our heads and mac and cheese on the table.

The child support system needs a reform at the lowest level and the highest... seems to me that these are the non-custodial parent situations where the shit is the worst.

My dad stayed behind on his child support when we were kids, I don't know how my mom managed, since she was a restaurant manager. If I'd worked the long hours she did to support us, I'd have probably gone nuts. She was lucky that we were old enough not to require daycare or babysitters or anything like that, otherwise she probably wouldn't have been able to support us. This was before the days of wage garnishment, and my dad always seemed to be able to go on vacations, trips, things like that. Alot of the times he took us along, and we had fun, but looking back, I think we'd have been way better served with my mom getting her child support instead of us going on vacation.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:43 PM   #78
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Can they get away with it because no one has the balls to fight the women there or is it genuinely the courts won't enforce their own rulings?
the courts won't enforce their own rulings in these cases.

I'm offline in a sec, laterz
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:46 PM   #79
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...would include paying for retirement, providing a car for necessary travel, buying food and drink
Here is where your argument falls apart...
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:46 PM   #80
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the courts won't enforce their own rulings in these cases.

I'm offline in a sec, laterz
Yep, seen that a lot too.

My father got custody of us, as well as the house and furnishings.

My mother took all of the furnishings and left us with nothing. *getting revenge at my dad of course but making us suffer too*

The courts would not enforce their ruling.

My mother was never forced to pay child support, the judge just laughed when the lawyer requested it and said.."I would never make a woman pay child support." Of course this was 1976.

My mother emptied out all the bank accounts too, left us broke, collapsed my dads business, she even borrowed money from his parents weeks before she bailed.

She would come pick us up, and decide to keep us. Not really going to keep us, but make my dad have to pay to go to court and get a court order for the sherrif to come and get us.

The courts never punished her for this either.

Divorce, it's a wonderful thing for families...LOL
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:46 PM   #81
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Some states have mandatory percentages of income they use for calculating child support. Some states take both parents income levels into consideration when calculating child support. Frankly, it depends on the state. The one time I tried to get child support enforced by two different states, they basically told me to forget it, not going to happen, since it takes sometimes months of employment in a new place for the state to catch the fact that the SSN matches a deadbeat dad, and to start garnishing wages. Most of the true deadbeats will simply quit and go to work somewhere else as soon as the garnishes start coming out.

My son will be 15 in March, and for the last 13 years, I've paid all his bills. I'm a lot luckier than most women, that's for sure. If I was a secretary or a teacher or something like that, I don't know what the hell I'd have done to keep a roof over our heads and mac and cheese on the table.

The child support system needs a reform at the lowest level and the highest... seems to me that these are the non-custodial parent situations where the shit is the worst.

My dad stayed behind on his child support when we were kids, I don't know how my mom managed, since she was a restaurant manager. If I'd worked the long hours she did to support us, I'd have probably gone nuts. She was lucky that we were old enough not to require daycare or babysitters or anything like that, otherwise she probably wouldn't have been able to support us. This was before the days of wage garnishment, and my dad always seemed to be able to go on vacations, trips, things like that. Alot of the times he took us along, and we had fun, but looking back, I think we'd have been way better served with my mom getting her child support instead of us going on vacation.
But hardly responsible.
Sent yer kid off to Military school.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:46 PM   #82
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Here is where your argument falls apart...
LOL you are a fool.
You keep saying shit, but you have not yet made a single point.

You must be a dead beat dad or something.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:48 PM   #83
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I don't know much about child support matters but I think most men do pay child support. The whole 'dead beat dad' thing is over rated.

Many times also, I think fathers try to see their kids but the mothers who generally have custody make it difficult for them to see the kids. The situation spirals downward from there.
I disagree strongly with the first part of your post. I've been around plenty of single moms over the years, many of whom had horror stories of the father of their children flaking out and not helping with the kids' expenses. And the evidence is right there in the home... you can tell that the mother is, in some cases, working her ass off to provide a liveable home for the kids but you can also tell that some of these kids have to go without a lot of what the rest of us probably consider basic stuff.

I do agree with the second part of your post, but you're describing only a certain fraction of cases. There are also plenty of guys out there who show up for their visitation, take the kid out and spoil him or her rotten, while the mother is the one who has to enforce the basic daily rules and discipline etc, in effect making her the "bad guy" and the dad is the "good guy".

Every case is different.

Bottom line is, the whole "deadbeat dad" thing is so NOT overrated.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:50 PM   #84
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"I disagree strongly with the first part of your post. I've been around plenty of single moms over the years, many of whom had horror stories of the father of their children flaking out and not helping with the kids' expenses."

Thats a typical MILF Pick up line dude. Don't get it twisted.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:50 PM   #85
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The only thing that bothers me, is when a woman is awarded child support in an absurd amount. I saw a judgment where the guy had to pay 4k a month for 2 kids child support. PLUS he had to pay for the that she and the kids lived in. as well as money for her. the guy made like 9k a month. After all the payments were made, he was working two jobs, so that he had a small appartment to live in.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:51 PM   #86
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But hardly responsible.
Sent yer kid off to Military school.
Yet again, you prove yourself to be an ignorant fool repeating what you've heard, not what is true.

If I'd been married to you, I'd have had to do drugs to avoid reality as well.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:52 PM   #87
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LOL you are a fool.
You keep saying shit, but you have not yet made a single point.

You must be a dead beat dad or something.
You just refuse to see the points... nothing I can do about that.

Must be a product of your enviornment.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:53 PM   #88
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There are also plenty of guys out there who show up for their visitation, take the kid out and spoil him or her rotten, while the mother is the one who has to enforce the basic daily rules and discipline etc, in effect making her the "bad guy" and the dad is the "good guy".
Seen that one too myself.

My mother pulled this one. Shit I was running the streets past midnight at the age of 11 and 12, mother never enforced a single rule...we loved to go over to her house.

My dad was the one having to provide the essentials for us, my mother was the one taking us on trips and stuff...rarely ever buying us clothes..and this is a woman who did not have to pay child support and was remarried and not needing to work.

While we struggled basically 24-25 days out of the month, she spoiled us for 6...I picked up on it at a very early age so my mother and I never had the greatest relationship because I always called her on the bullshit.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:53 PM   #89
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Yet again, you prove yourself to be an ignorant fool repeating what you've heard, not what is true.

If I'd been married to you, I'd have had to do drugs to avoid reality as well.
You would have been buried in a ditch.

Face it you are an alcoholic bitch and never stepped up to the plate. Nice pretending though.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:53 PM   #90
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You just refuse to see the points... nothing I can do about that.

Must be a product of your enviornment.
Nice attempt at a troll...you lost...I'm done with you.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:54 PM   #91
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The only thing that bothers me, is when a woman is awarded child support in an absurd amount. I saw a judgment where the guy had to pay 4k a month for 2 kids child support. PLUS he had to pay for the that she and the kids lived in. as well as money for her. the guy made like 9k a month. After all the payments were made, he was working two jobs, so that he had a small appartment to live in.
I was paying over $4k/month back in 2000 - 2001. It hurts but honestly, I only have to pay 20% of my income...if guys can't figure out how to live off the other 80%, they're damn fools.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:56 PM   #92
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I was paying over $4k/month back in 2000 - 2001. It hurts but honestly, I only have to pay 20% of my income...if guys can't figure out how to live off the other 80%, they're damn fools.
Exactly.
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Old 01-06-2006, 12:58 PM   #93
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I have NEVER heard of that. Where does that happen?
Here in the U.S. It's happened more than once. The man proves he's not the father but because he took inital responsibility the judges nails him with it anyway. Here's an example: http://www.glennsacks.com/california...ty_justice.htm
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Old 01-06-2006, 01:00 PM   #94
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I was paying over $4k/month back in 2000 - 2001. It hurts but honestly, I only have to pay 20% of my income...if guys can't figure out how to live off the other 80%, they're damn fools.
This guy was paying the 4k for the kids, 2600 for the house and 1100 to her.
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Old 01-06-2006, 01:00 PM   #95
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Nice attempt at a troll...you lost...I'm done with you.
I'm the troll, but you refuse to see that a divorced father has living expenses beyond their child. That income used while married proves for the whole family (which the father is a part of) and not JUST the children.

Could you live on $18.5K per year??? If so, you live in "the sticks".
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Old 01-06-2006, 01:01 PM   #96
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I'm usually not into thes conversations, but I think I'll throw my two cents in here. I'm going through the same thing. I have two year old twins, and my ex and I have "joint custody and gaurdianship" of them with her having "primary residence". Was this hard to get you ask???? Nope not at all. I filed all the paper work, served her with the papers, and showed up to the court room. No lawyers, no nothing. Went in and told the judge our situation and he made an order that day.

Now, when it comes to child support, this is where I have the problem. The goverment here in Canada is paying for her to go to school, paying most of her expenses (i.e. rent, food, gas, all utilities, etc). She lives with her parents. So she has no rent. She has the goverment paying for $600 in "rent", $150 for "food", plus her utilites (which she doesn't have).

I see my kids on Saturdays all day. She has the nerve to call and ask me for money. Above and beyond her child support. Which is $250/mnth. (I was off work for three months last year because of a car accident).

My kids show up in second hand clothes, dirty shoes, and I'm supposed to not say anything????
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Old 01-06-2006, 01:01 PM   #97
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This is my pet peeve too, eros. I can't stand it when a man won't be a fucking man. When I divorced I received 50/50 custody and was told to pay $400 per month support for one child. But since I want my son taken care of right, which includes his mother staying home with him as she always dreamed of doing, I pay her $500 per WEEK instead and also buy all his clothes and all HER clothes, etc. I financially support the 2 of them 100% in anything they need.
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Old 01-06-2006, 01:06 PM   #98
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Interesting to see folks actually quibble over $300 /month for maintenance of a child.

Is this what it supposed to cost? It sure as hell cost me a damned load more than $300 to raise my kids and suspect that's the same in any family.

Problems between two adults, whether in a marriage or temporary arrangement, has nothing to do with any children involved. All the excuses and bullshit about Mom being married to Trump, spending support money on drugs etc are different issues. (If he's married to Trump, tell your lawyer - he'll just say you are still the father. If she's on drugs, call the cops.)

The breakdown of relationships, tho they obviously affect children, are not their fault - it's the parents who screw up and both are responsible for their kids.

It's not even a "legal" issue - any responsible parent with balls would ensure his children have adequate support in their earlier years and be there to back them in adult life.

Any guy who seriously thinks he can raise a child on $300 has gotta be in lalaland. The least they can do is throw that "tip" into the pot to cover some costs - cos sure as hell they are not "paying for raising their kids" - others probably end up doing this. Sounds like eroswebmaster is one such person and suspect a high percentage of mothers cover costs in many more cases.
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Old 01-06-2006, 01:08 PM   #99
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I was paying over $4k/month back in 2000 - 2001. It hurts but honestly, I only have to pay 20% of my income...if guys can't figure out how to live off the other 80%, they're damn fools.
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Exactly.
You hahahahas act like EVERYONE makes $240K/year (by your numbers GFX) and can just scale down comfortably...
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Old 01-06-2006, 01:09 PM   #100
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the law is the law, if you dont like it, don't impregnate a whore.
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