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Old 07-14-2005, 05:59 PM   #1
NoCarrier
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My cat just passed away :(

I always thought that posting this shit on GFY would be useless, but it's just too difficult for me today. My cat was with me since 1989. Since I was a teenager. I was 17 when I got her. I know it's fucking stupid talking about my cat on GFY.

"Tipoil" was diagnosed with CRF (Renal failure). She was 15. I moved into my new house last week and she seriously got dehydrated and she was extremely weak. I decided to take her to the vet. This was the last time I saw her. I learned the next day that her kidneys stopped working properly. The toxicity in her blood was so high that the machines could not give an accurate number. I still wanted to try treatment. She was put on IV with fluids for 48 hours. The vet told me that if the toxicity in her blood didn't drop, I'd have to take a hard decision. I was devastated. I couldn't stop crying.

I didn't want to go see her because it would hurt me a lot seeing her under treatment. I started reading a lot on the internet about CRF and the treatments at home (Sub-Q fluids and a special diet).

I had hopes.

Then they called me yesterday with the results. Bad news. The toxicity was still extremely high. Her kidneys really stopped functionning. No treatment could save her. I started crying over the phone and decided to make the final decision. Euthanasia.

I decided not to go see her, it was too hard for me. I didn't want to see her dying in front of me.

But today I feel extremely guilty because I didn't go see her and that I didn't go for her euthanasia.

Maybe I should've wait a little longer, bring her home, spend some more time with her then take an appointement for the euthanasia. Now I feel like I didn't have time to see say goodbye. I know that the euthanasia was the only solution but I think my decision was rushed. I am so confused and sad.

I miss my cat so much.. I dreamed about her last night. In my dream I hugged her and told her I loved her.

I'm thinking about all the wonderful years I had with her and how well she was treated. She was a special queen. She had an excellent life. I know it was the perfect decision but I still feel guilt.

For the past couple of months, she started losing weight, drinking more water and urinating a lot in the litter box. I didn't know she was sick. Now I know why.

I'm only saying goodbye because I know I will see her someday, in another world, or state of conscience.

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Old 07-14-2005, 06:00 PM   #2
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sorry to hear that.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:01 PM   #3
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RIP kitty
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:02 PM   #4
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the good die young
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:02 PM   #5
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sorry to hear that.
Thanks man... I've read previous threads with the same thing. I know people will reply with mean intentions, but I know the positives one will help me out.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:05 PM   #6
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I'm so sorry to hear! I know how painfull it is to loose a pet!

RIP.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:06 PM   #7
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Thanks man... I've read previous threads with the same thing. I know people will reply with mean intentions, but I know the positives one will help me out.
ohh dont' worry - i'll slap you around later. no need to kick someone when they're down though. truly sorry to hear about your cat
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:07 PM   #8
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Its tough I know. I lost 3 cats within 2 years to cancer (yes its odd but none of the types of cancer were related just plain bad luck). 13, 12, and 11 years old.

With each cat I held them in my arms when they were put to rest. The days after were dark and depressing.

You may think you are crazy. Some people will say "its just a cat" but don't sweat it. There is a ton of people that know how you feel.

RIP to your kitty.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:10 PM   #9
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I'm sorry.
If a cat likes you, you are honoured.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:13 PM   #10
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Sorry bout this. TiPoil, c'est un jolie nom.

Hope these condolence whishes can help you, it's hard when you spent that many years living with an animal and they go away :-(

May she rest in peace
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:13 PM   #11
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sorry to hear it bro, i never want me cat to pass away
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:13 PM   #12
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Im so sorry to hear that. I know how sad it can be to lose a pet, and things will get better with time
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:16 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by JMan
Sorry bout this. TiPoil, c'est un jolie nom.

Hope these condolence whishes can help you, it's hard when you spent that many years living with an animal and they go away :-(

May she rest in peace
Merci, je crois qu'un jour je vais revoir mon chat.

I know one day I will see my cat again, I don't know how, but I know I will see her again. I don't believe animals are "souless" the way we think. We don't even know where we're going anyway. I don't believe we will lose the animals we love a second time. (When we die).
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:17 PM   #14
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Im so sorry to hear that. I know how sad it can be to lose a pet, and things will get better with time
Yup only time I cried is when my dog died..... Time heals and I am sure the cat is in a good place
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:17 PM   #15
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so sorry to hear that... be in peace cat!
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:21 PM   #16
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I'm so sorry! There's almost nothing more painful than losing a pet that you've had for so long, especially when you don't get to say goodbye.
My own personal belief is that they do visit you in your dreams one last time, to let you know that they are better now, that they hold nothing against you, to thank you for the life you've given them, and to give you the chance to make peace with the fact that they are gone. That may sound really corny, but every animal that I've been really close with that I've lost has had that one last visit with me through my dreams. I may dream "about" them more often, but these dreams are different... you are both able to communicate with each other, and you both understand that this is goodbye.
I also believe that pets that you've loved and taken good care of become your guardian angels after they pass away. That's why people who love and are kind to animals tend to live longer, happier lives.
Yes I know I'm a geek, but I like to believe in these things because it makes me feel good to know that our love for animals is rewarding on both ends.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:21 PM   #17
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Sorry to hear that NC. I think part of the reason I don't want pets is due to having to go through the inevitable seperation when they die...sucks.

Best thing you can do though is get a new one. That's what pet people tell me, for what it's worth.

Sort of like women...hmmm....
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:24 PM   #18
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I know how close I am to my cat..my condolences..
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:25 PM   #19
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I always hate my sister's cat. This time I understand what my sister really feels towards her pet.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:26 PM   #20
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I'm sorry for your loss Losing a pet is like losing a family member. RIP Tipoil
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:27 PM   #21
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I sincerely hope that you are not mocking me and the death of my nephew.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:27 PM   #22
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Its tough I know. I lost 3 cats within 2 years to cancer (yes its odd but none of the types of cancer were related just plain bad luck). 13, 12, and 11 years old.

With each cat I held them in my arms when they were put to rest. The days after were dark and depressing.

You may think you are crazy. Some people will say "its just a cat" but don't sweat it. There is a ton of people that know how you feel.

RIP to your kitty.
Damn.. U had to grieve 3 times.. It must be really hard. I know what you mean when people say "It's just a cat". Some of my friends told me the same thing. When you never had a pet it's difficult to understand how hard it is to lose one. I have 2 kids, my older one (daughter) is 5 years old. It's hard explaining to her that her cat is gone.

It's extremely hard at night. My cat would always come to bed with me. I'll have to get used to it.

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I really appreciate it.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:27 PM   #23
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Awe man. My condolences. A pet is part of your family. It's ok to be upset and wanting to share it with us.

Keep your head up high, she's no longer suffering.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:28 PM   #24
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I sincerely hope that you are not mocking me and the death of my nephew.
Absolutely not, I am sending positive prayers for your niece and her parents. I am thinking about her right now.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:28 PM   #25
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I'm really sorry to hear that I have four cats and a dog, I never want to lose any of them, but I know it will happen eventually. Tipoil is in a better place now, and no more pain.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:30 PM   #26
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I am sooo sorry.
Wow this is deja vu for me. I had the exact same thing happen last year so I totally understand. I completely feel for you about making the decision to keep her medicated or finally have to put he down. I also got results that were extremely high and also did 2 days if fluids which didn't help. I then decided to bring her home and give her lots of meds and take her to the Vet every couple days to get fluids. Nothing helped of course. The only option was a kidney transplant which is really expensive and not really an option when they get that sick.
My kitty only made it a couple more weeks and we had to also have her put down. She just laid around and we forced water and meds into her all the time and got so weak she couldn't even make it to the litter box or even stand up to go to the bathroom. It was just to hard to see her like that so it was best for her. The day she got bad like this was quick and immediately I took her to the vet but it was those few hours of knowing she couldn't get up on her own was very very hard.

My point is you did the right thing. I did what I thought was the best to keep her alive as long as I could and hold her and spend as much time with her before she got too bad but to see her like that was too much. It is now very hard to get those visions out of my head so I think you made the right move and not letting her suffer.

On a side note when I kissed my kitty goodbye for the last time I told her to come play with me in my dreams and show me she is ok so maybe that was your kitty's way of showing you she is happy and ok and waiting for you.

Here is a great poem that helped me when this happened
http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

My Kitty (Tiger Lilly)

Last edited by paytonrain; 07-14-2005 at 06:32 PM..
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:30 PM   #27
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It's extremely hard at night. My cat would always come to bed with me. I'll have to get used to it.
Oscar has her pillow right beside mine..I think I would miss that the most too
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:33 PM   #28
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Sorry to hear that that sucks.
I have 2 cats myself...I know how attached one can become, you don`t think of them as animals anymore.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:33 PM   #29
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That's horrible.
Know that you made the right decision and saved her from more pain - she's in a better place now.
Hang in there buddy.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:34 PM   #30
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I am sorry for your loss
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:41 PM   #31
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I would like to thank everyone for their positive thoughts. Strangely, I was expecting this day would come. My cat would never be eternal. But reading everyone's comments is helping me a lot.. A lot more than you could ever imagine. I never thought GFY could help me that much.. You're part of something special for me right now.. It's going to last less than 48 hours, I know. But thanks.. Thank you my friends.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:48 PM   #32
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Sorry for your loss You can sleep well knowing that you did your best to save her and that she is no longer in any pain...Take care!
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:51 PM   #33
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sorry - double post.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:57 PM   #34
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Thats one of the things that suck in life. Nothing is forever, and you realise that even more on moments like these. My little tiger is almost 3 years old now, and I already can't imagine him not being around anymore.

I wish you best of luck and my condolances to you mate.
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Old 07-14-2005, 08:02 PM   #35
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sorry to hear that
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Old 07-14-2005, 08:26 PM   #36
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My German Shepherd of 14 years died in my arms about a month ago. Was one of the very, very saddest moments in my life. I honestly don't think I'll ever get that empty spot in my heart ever filled again. He was so human like and special to me.

Its extremely difficult to watch death occur, especially with our pets, which to most of us are like family and children. I still can and do relive the entire moment in mind over and over.

I think what is hard to endure is the finality and simplicity of death itself. Its like one moment you are with this living being filled with personality, character and life and in the blink of an eye they are just gone like the wind. I felt the warmth leave his body and turn cold.

I'm a firm believer that our souls continue on after our physical body dies. Even with my dog, I've had so many strange things happen to let me know he's still with me but now in spirit form.

The one thing that really has me freaked out is a spot on the carpet where he would always lay down near me while I was working. When I walk over this spot the carpet feels incredibly cold to my feet. And its only in the 3 foot across area. Once I step out of that spot the carpet is warm. Cold spots and cold air rushes near you are typical when spirits are present. There's been other little things too that seem unexplainable.

Anyway, the hardest part of life is coming to terms witht the reality that everything we love and that loves us, while we are here in the physical plane, will be gone one day. That thought is a real head trip for most people. Accepting that the most precious things we love will be taken from us is as tough as it gets.

Its thus comforting to hope that dying is when we are really born. At that moment our souls are freed from the limitations of the physical body. And when you think about it that makes a lot of sense in the grand scheme of things.

Everything we endure on this physical plane is very challenging and hard. I think we all often look at the shit we see on this planet and wonder what the fuck is this really all about, so much misery, dispair, and evil. Many think maybe this is the hell we fear so much after death. We're already in it, and dying takes us out of this place. Who knows, if anything, this sure does seem like a learning place for so many things, like a school almost. Dying is like graduating to the next energy level for your soul.

The best thing to do is to think of all the wonderful memories you two shared. Those special moments are emblazoned in your soul for eternity.

That Love is forever.
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Old 07-14-2005, 08:30 PM   #37
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Buy another cat. I guess that's the best way you can get out of that guilt.
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Old 07-15-2005, 12:33 AM   #38
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So sorry to hear about your cat.
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Old 07-15-2005, 12:35 AM   #39
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My boy Kerouac is going on 12. I know that awful day is approaching rapidly.
Fuck, I don't think I can handle it.
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Old 07-15-2005, 12:35 AM   #40
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soooo sad..
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Old 07-15-2005, 12:41 AM   #41
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get yourself another cat... or two.
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Old 07-15-2005, 12:43 AM   #42
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poor kitty, that sucks

my condolences
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Old 07-15-2005, 12:54 AM   #43
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sorry to hear you loss...you did your best for your cat hon. those wonderful years together for sure are the best thing happened in your cats' life. im sure she's so happy having u as her friend, she's in heaven now...watching over u every minute, cheer up
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Old 07-15-2005, 01:01 AM   #44
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since 1989?! wow! that's a pretty long time. No wonder you feel so bad. I'm sorry about your cat.
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Old 07-15-2005, 01:12 AM   #45
Jay
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Sorry to hear about your cat. We have two, one I have had since he was born. He was really sick as a kitten and I nursed him to good health. He's my little buddy, I never thought I could get so attached to a cat.
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Old 07-15-2005, 02:51 AM   #46
karlm
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I am soo close to my cat

Gunna be a sad day when he dies
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Old 07-15-2005, 03:04 AM   #47
Paparazzi
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I'm sorry to hear that, I was very sad when my grandmother & fathers 2 cats died
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Old 07-15-2005, 03:12 AM   #48
Ramos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoCarrier
I always thought that posting this shit on GFY would be useless, but it's just too difficult for me today. My cat was with me since 1989. Since I was a teenager. I was 17 when I got her. I know it's fucking stupid talking about my cat on GFY.

"Tipoil" was diagnosed with CRF (Renal failure). She was 15. I moved into my new house last week and she seriously got dehydrated and she was extremely weak. I decided to take her to the vet. This was the last time I saw her. I learned the next day that her kidneys stopped working properly. The toxicity in her blood was so high that the machines could not give an accurate number. I still wanted to try treatment. She was put on IV with fluids for 48 hours. The vet told me that if the toxicity in her blood didn't drop, I'd have to take a hard decision. I was devastated. I couldn't stop crying.

I didn't want to go see her because it would hurt me a lot seeing her under treatment. I started reading a lot on the internet about CRF and the treatments at home (Sub-Q fluids and a special diet).

I had hopes.

Then they called me yesterday with the results. Bad news. The toxicity was still extremely high. Her kidneys really stopped functionning. No treatment could save her. I started crying over the phone and decided to make the final decision. Euthanasia.

I decided not to go see her, it was too hard for me. I didn't want to see her dying in front of me.

But today I feel extremely guilty because I didn't go see her and that I didn't go for her euthanasia.

Maybe I should've wait a little longer, bring her home, spend some more time with her then take an appointement for the euthanasia. Now I feel like I didn't have time to see say goodbye. I know that the euthanasia was the only solution but I think my decision was rushed. I am so confused and sad.

I miss my cat so much.. I dreamed about her last night. In my dream I hugged her and told her I loved her.

I'm thinking about all the wonderful years I had with her and how well she was treated. She was a special queen. She had an excellent life. I know it was the perfect decision but I still feel guilt.

For the past couple of months, she started losing weight, drinking more water and urinating a lot in the litter box. I didn't know she was sick. Now I know why.

I'm only saying goodbye because I know I will see her someday, in another world, or state of conscience.

I just lost a close family kitty..Mozez...He was 23 yr old..Only had 1 tooth, funny he would catch mice, but couldn't kill them, he'd just hold them in his mouth and show ya that he still had it!

R.I.P

TipOil
Mozez
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Old 07-15-2005, 03:12 AM   #49
MaDalton
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i had the same one year ago when our cat fell from the balcony and broke her spine - we had to let her put to sleep, but i couldn't watch it. i still remember her last look at us when we left her at the vet - her eyes full of fear as if she knew what was coming - i'll never forget that.
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Old 07-15-2005, 03:25 AM   #50
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sorry to hear that man, i have 2 cats, wouldn't want to see them go ever either.
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