I always thought that posting this shit on GFY would be useless, but it's just too difficult for me today. My cat was with me since 1989. Since I was a teenager. I was 17 when I got her. I know it's fucking stupid talking about my cat on GFY.
"Tipoil" was diagnosed with CRF (Renal failure). She was 15. I moved into my new house last week and she seriously got dehydrated and she was extremely weak. I decided to take her to the vet. This was the last time I saw her. I learned the next day that her kidneys stopped working properly. The toxicity in her blood was so high that the machines could not give an accurate number. I still wanted to try treatment. She was put on IV with fluids for 48 hours. The vet told me that if the toxicity in her blood didn't drop, I'd have to take a hard decision. I was devastated. I couldn't stop crying.
I didn't want to go see her because it would hurt me a lot seeing her under treatment. I started reading a lot on the internet about CRF and the treatments at home (Sub-Q fluids and a special diet).
I had hopes.
Then they called me yesterday with the results. Bad news. The toxicity was still extremely high. Her kidneys really stopped functionning. No treatment could save her. I started crying over the phone and decided to make the final decision. Euthanasia.
I decided not to go see her, it was too hard for me. I didn't want to see her dying in front of me.
But today I feel extremely guilty because I didn't go see her and that I didn't go for her euthanasia.
Maybe I should've wait a little longer, bring her home, spend some more time with her then take an appointement for the euthanasia. Now I feel like I didn't have time to see say goodbye. I know that the euthanasia was the only solution but I think my decision was rushed. I am so confused and sad.
I miss my cat so much.. I dreamed about her last night. In my dream I hugged her and told her I loved her.
I'm thinking about all the wonderful years I had with her and how well she was treated. She was a special queen. She had an excellent life. I know it was the perfect decision but I still feel guilt.
For the past couple of months, she started losing weight, drinking more water and urinating a lot in the litter box. I didn't know she was sick. Now I know why.
I'm only saying goodbye because I know I will see her someday, in another world, or state of conscience.
"Tipoil" was diagnosed with CRF (Renal failure). She was 15. I moved into my new house last week and she seriously got dehydrated and she was extremely weak. I decided to take her to the vet. This was the last time I saw her. I learned the next day that her kidneys stopped working properly. The toxicity in her blood was so high that the machines could not give an accurate number. I still wanted to try treatment. She was put on IV with fluids for 48 hours. The vet told me that if the toxicity in her blood didn't drop, I'd have to take a hard decision. I was devastated. I couldn't stop crying.
I didn't want to go see her because it would hurt me a lot seeing her under treatment. I started reading a lot on the internet about CRF and the treatments at home (Sub-Q fluids and a special diet).
I had hopes.
Then they called me yesterday with the results. Bad news. The toxicity was still extremely high. Her kidneys really stopped functionning. No treatment could save her. I started crying over the phone and decided to make the final decision. Euthanasia.
I decided not to go see her, it was too hard for me. I didn't want to see her dying in front of me.
But today I feel extremely guilty because I didn't go see her and that I didn't go for her euthanasia.
Maybe I should've wait a little longer, bring her home, spend some more time with her then take an appointement for the euthanasia. Now I feel like I didn't have time to see say goodbye. I know that the euthanasia was the only solution but I think my decision was rushed. I am so confused and sad.
I miss my cat so much.. I dreamed about her last night. In my dream I hugged her and told her I loved her.
I'm thinking about all the wonderful years I had with her and how well she was treated. She was a special queen. She had an excellent life. I know it was the perfect decision but I still feel guilt.
For the past couple of months, she started losing weight, drinking more water and urinating a lot in the litter box. I didn't know she was sick. Now I know why.
I'm only saying goodbye because I know I will see her someday, in another world, or state of conscience.
~Accepting design works~ 
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