What lies were you told when you were a kid? - GoFuckYourself.com

AaronM · 05-03-2005, 04:36 PM

What kind of shit did your parents, teachers, whoever spew at you when you were growing up?

"Don't do that with your face, it will get stuck like that."
Huh? Look at me damn it! If you were concerned with my looks then why did you breed in the first place?

"Don't eat that, it will spoil your dinner."
BULLSHIT! I've got a healthy appetite...Just look at me.

"You have to get good grades because they will follow you the rest of your life."
As I look over my shoulder, I don't see anybody standing behind me holding my report cards from 5th grade.

"Santa brings coal to the bad kids."
WTF? I was a pain in the ass as a child. More so than I am today. I never got any coal and now, I feel left out.

"I'm grounding you for your own good.:
Gee, thank you. I didn't realise how being so pissed off at you would pay off so well in the end.

"There is no monster living in your closet."
Fuck you, he's still in there and now I'm alone and he's really pissed.

"This spanking is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you."
Then how come my ass was redder than your hand ever was?

Lies I tell you....All lies.

JFK · 05-03-2005, 04:38 PM

I can tell you from experience, the spanking did hurt me more

Penthouse Tony · 05-03-2005, 04:45 PM

in regards to strange and nasty looking food, "Try this you'll like it."

Cains · 05-03-2005, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sagi_AFF

in regards to strange and nasty looking food, "Try this you'll like it."

that wasn't a banana.....

Chio The Pirate · 05-03-2005, 04:47 PM

YARGH! "Chio, you can't be a pirate when you grow up..."

"You're friend Theo isn't fruity, he's just different"

TheGoldenChild · 05-03-2005, 04:48 PM

I was told that my brother was not conceived but scraped of a wall-
ai think he still believes that.

Downtime · 05-03-2005, 04:49 PM

That it was illegal to have your windows down on the Interstate.

My dad just hated the noise or something; fuck it worked for a while haha.

Radical Rick · 05-03-2005, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chio The Pirate

YARGH! "Chio, you can't be a pirate when you grow up..."

"You're friend Theo isn't fruity, he's just different"

Sly · 05-03-2005, 04:50 PM

My mom told me I could do anything if I tried hard enough. I never did make quarterback... fucking bitch.

AaronM · 05-03-2005, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sly

My mom told me I could do anything if I tried hard enough. I never did make quarterback... fucking bitch.

Have you considered being a stand up comedian?

Sly · 05-03-2005, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

Have you considered being a stand up comedian?

Yes. Until I realized I'd probably be a better sit-down comedian.

Triple 6 · 05-03-2005, 04:55 PM

ummm. Nothing comes to mind. Except for realizing i should have listened to them a lot more then I have and shouldnt have given them so much shit, .......and when I have a son one day, the karmatic payback will indeed be hell.

Gabriel · 05-03-2005, 04:56 PM

It would fall of if I kept playing with it.

LOL @ Sly

Semi-Retired-Dave · 05-03-2005, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

What kind of shit did your parents, teachers, whoever spew at you when you were growing up?

"Don't do that with your face, it will get stuck like that."
Huh? Look at me damn it! If you were concerned with my looks then why did you breed in the first place?

"Don't eat that, it will spoil your dinner."
BULLSHIT! I've got a healthy appetite...Just look at me.

"You have to get good grades because they will follow you the rest of your life."
As I look over my shoulder, I don't see anybody standing behind me holding my report cards from 5th grade.

"Santa brings coal to the bad kids."
WTF? I was a pain in the ass as a child. More so than I am today. I never got any coal and now, I feel left out.

"I'm grounding you for your own good.:
Gee, thank you. I didn't realise how being so pissed off at you would pay off so well in the end.

"There is no monster living in your closet."
Fuck you, he's still in there and now I'm alone and he's really pissed.

"This spanking is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you."
Then how come my ass was redder than your hand ever was?

Lies I tell you....All lies.

All of the above.

SaintElGrouch · 05-03-2005, 04:58 PM

I believed for years that you'd catch a cold by being out in the cold too long.

nofx · 05-03-2005, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sly

My mom told me I could do anything if I tried hard enough. I never did make quarterback... fucking bitch.

should have tried to break the long jump record

Illicit · 05-03-2005, 05:00 PM

eat your vegetables and your cock will grow big and strong

Amputate Your Head · 05-03-2005, 05:00 PM

when I burned all the flesh off my hand.... and my old man told me to shove it in a tub of butter. "Quick, it''s the only thing that works!"

yeah... if you wanna finish barbequing your hand.

StuartD · 05-03-2005, 05:01 PM

My mommy said I was cute.... damn liar.

SaintElGrouch · 05-03-2005, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sly

My mom told me I could do anything if I tried hard enough. I never did make quarterback... fucking bitch.

AaronM · 05-03-2005, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NichePay - StuartD

My mommy said I was cute.... damn liar.

Ouch...That beats them all so far.

jimmyf · 05-03-2005, 05:05 PM

First that comes 2 mind is a coach told me 2 get up your not hurt.

And I know this because my 2 buddies told me so, I was knock out and woke up in the hospital.

StuartD · 05-03-2005, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

Ouch...That beats them all so far.

I shouldn't have replied, I have a tendancy for killing threads

sacX · 05-03-2005, 05:29 PM

God is real

AaronM · 05-03-2005, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sacX

God is real

They still try to tell me that shit.

BigRod · 05-03-2005, 05:37 PM

Masterbating will make you go blind!

Bu at I cn see finse

toddler · 05-03-2005, 05:41 PM

all dogs go to heaven. no, all dogs go up in smoke ;(

Tytan · 05-03-2005, 05:45 PM

Father Christmas is real lol

TheSenator · 05-03-2005, 05:46 PM

The only reason you are here is because you came with the house.

jonpotz · 05-03-2005, 05:49 PM

"babys came out of the volva which is under a womans armpit"

Theo · 05-03-2005, 05:53 PM

that my parrots changed colors

uno · 05-03-2005, 05:55 PM

"Marijuana can kill you."
"it's not your fault we divorced."
"We don't have a favorite child."
"Finishing school is the most important thing you can ever do."
"The cat ran away."
"it's a massager."
"girls DO NOT have cooties."

Turboface · 05-03-2005, 06:00 PM

When I was pretty young, I was helping my Dad bring in firewood (We had a nice, big, wood burning stove) and it was hard work. We had a big box that we filled up whenever it ran low.

Anyhow, after working and freezing my ass off, my Dad gave me two quarters. He looked at me and said 'That's the easiest 50 cents you're ever going to earn.'. I was thinking like, Fuck. This is gonna suck!

Stacey_JoinRightNow · 05-03-2005, 06:03 PM

that santa was the one who puts in the gift in the socks

TheGoldenChild · 05-03-2005, 06:14 PM

I was also told that there was a lot of money to made in the online biz..
:-))

2HousePlague · 05-03-2005, 06:17 PM

Masturbation = Institutionable Madness

j-

RyanL · 05-03-2005, 06:30 PM

I had an uncle who had a stub for a finger. Some type of work related accident I guess. He told me picked his nose and the bugger monster ate his finger!

I never picked my nose!!

johnnyhey · 05-03-2005, 06:32 PM

"you can be anything you want to be if you set your mind to it"

ronaldo · 05-03-2005, 06:35 PM

Crime doesn't pay.

JFPdude · 05-03-2005, 06:37 PM

I was told AaronM was my daddy. I found out years later he was only the next in line.

Furious_Female · 05-03-2005, 06:38 PM

I was raised Catholic. Enough said.

AaronM · 05-03-2005, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JFPdude

I was told AaronM was my daddy. I found out years later he was only the next in line.

I would have been first in line but I forgot my wallet and had to go back home to grab some cash.

JFPdude · 05-03-2005, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

I would have been first in line but I forgot my wallet and had to go back home to grab some cash.

You mean all this time it wasn't a lie ?

AaronM · 05-03-2005, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JFPdude

You mean all this time it wasn't a lie ?

Correct.

JFPdude · 05-03-2005, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

Correct.

Let this be a lesson to all to carry change for the phone. It may come in handy.

Spunky · 05-03-2005, 06:49 PM

Stop beating off..you'll go blind

JFPdude · 05-03-2005, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spunky

Stop beating off..you'll go blind

Stop beating off you'll grow hair on the palm of your hands.

AaronM · 05-03-2005, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spunky

Stop beating off..you'll go blind

I see you didn't stop.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRod

Masterbating will make you go blind!

reynold · 05-03-2005, 08:40 PM

If I swallow seeds from fruits, they will grow inside my stomach.

thumbsdepot · 05-03-2005, 08:49 PM

Back when I was in school the teachers would always scare me by telling me that if I keep misbehaving that they would put it on my permanent record.

05-03-2005, 04:36 PM	#1
AaronM Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐ Posts: 46,909	What lies were you told when you were a kid? What kind of shit did your parents, teachers, whoever spew at you when you were growing up? "Don't do that with your face, it will get stuck like that." Huh? Look at me damn it! If you were concerned with my looks then why did you breed in the first place? "Don't eat that, it will spoil your dinner." BULLSHIT! I've got a healthy appetite...Just look at me. "You have to get good grades because they will follow you the rest of your life." As I look over my shoulder, I don't see anybody standing behind me holding my report cards from 5th grade. "Santa brings coal to the bad kids." WTF? I was a pain in the ass as a child. More so than I am today. I never got any coal and now, I feel left out. "I'm grounding you for your own good.: Gee, thank you. I didn't realise how being so pissed off at you would pay off so well in the end. "There is no monster living in your closet." Fuck you, he's still in there and now I'm alone and he's really pissed. "This spanking is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you." Then how come my ass was redder than your hand ever was? Lies I tell you....All lies.

05-03-2005, 04:38 PM	#2
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	I can tell you from experience, the spanking did hurt me more __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

05-03-2005, 04:45 PM	#3
Penthouse Tony Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Mountain View, CA Posts: 5,835	in regards to strange and nasty looking food, "Try this you'll like it." __________________ aamos AT FFN dot com Penthouse.com Business Development ICQ: 49090846 \| Yahoo IM: ff_aamos

05-03-2005, 04:47 PM	#5
Chio The Pirate Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: YARGH! On me big sailboat with the skull flags * * ICQ: 39-183769 Posts: 946	YARGH! "Chio, you can't be a pirate when you grow up..." "You're friend Theo isn't fruity, he's just different" __________________ Need to get a site indexed in a few days? Want thousands of targeted, quality hits to your site? Want to beta test something that will revolutionize the way companies, and individuals advertise online.? Click here to take a look at Bliggo Last edited by Chio The Pirate; 05-03-2005 at 04:48 PM..

05-03-2005, 04:48 PM	#6
TheGoldenChild Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Pacific Palisades Posts: 6,940	I was told that my brother was not conceived but scraped of a wall- ai think he still believes that. __________________

05-03-2005, 04:49 PM	#7
Downtime Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: America. Posts: 7,320	That it was illegal to have your windows down on the Interstate. My dad just hated the noise or something; fuck it worked for a while haha. __________________ #27024067

05-03-2005, 04:50 PM	#9
Sly Let's do some business! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 31,329	My mom told me I could do anything if I tried hard enough. I never did make quarterback... fucking bitch. __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc. Click here for more details.

05-03-2005, 04:55 PM	#12
Triple 6 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: Location: isN'T everything Posts: 5,394	ummm. Nothing comes to mind. Except for realizing i should have listened to them a lot more then I have and shouldnt have given them so much shit, .......and when I have a son one day, the karmatic payback will indeed be hell. __________________ SIG TOO SMALL! Maximum 1200x600 button and no more than 30 text lines of ALL SIZES and COLORS. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 6240x4800 instead of a 1024x800.

05-03-2005, 04:56 PM	#13
Gabriel Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: So*Cal Posts: 4,789	It would fall of if I kept playing with it. LOL @ Sly __________________ ICQ#: 142295729

05-03-2005, 04:58 PM	#15
SaintElGrouch Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: California Posts: 307	I believed for years that you'd catch a cold by being out in the cold too long.

05-03-2005, 05:00 PM	#17
Illicit wtf ? Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: GFY Posts: 11,895	eat your vegetables and your cock will grow big and strong __________________ Insert Sig Here

05-03-2005, 05:00 PM	#18
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	when I burned all the flesh off my hand.... and my old man told me to shove it in a tub of butter. "Quick, it''s the only thing that works!" yeah... if you wanna finish barbequing your hand. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

05-03-2005, 05:01 PM	#19
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	My mommy said I was cute.... damn liar. __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

05-03-2005, 05:05 PM	#22
jimmyf OU812 Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: California Posts: 12,651	First that comes 2 mind is a coach told me 2 get up your not hurt. And I know this because my 2 buddies told me so, I was knock out and woke up in the hospital. __________________ Epic CashEpic Cash works for me Solar Cash Paysite Plugin Gallery of the day freesites,POTD,Gallery generator with free hosting Last edited by jimmyf; 05-03-2005 at 05:07 PM..

05-03-2005, 05:29 PM	#24
sacX Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,998	God is real __________________ Have Asian Language Traffic?

05-03-2005, 05:37 PM	#26
BigRod Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 3,685	Masterbating will make you go blind! Bu at I cn see finse __________________ Rod Macdonald Mainstream Ad Agency Owner ICQ: 607306

05-03-2005, 05:41 PM	#27
toddler Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: austin, tx Posts: 1,911	all dogs go to heaven. no, all dogs go up in smoke ;( __________________ http://www.flickr.com/photos/zoddler/

05-03-2005, 05:45 PM	#28
Tytan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 1,391	Father Christmas is real lol __________________ Adult Webmaster/Pharmacy/Mortgage/Casino/General opt-in email lists for sale - full data ---------REFERENCES AVAILABLE----------- ------------------------------------------------ Adult opt-in bases for sale icq@261453175

05-03-2005, 05:46 PM	#29
TheSenator Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: NJ Posts: 13,336	The only reason you are here is because you came with the house. __________________ ISeekGirls.com since 2005

05-03-2005, 05:49 PM	#30
jonpotz Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 960	"babys came out of the volva which is under a womans armpit"

05-03-2005, 05:53 PM	#31
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	that my parrots changed colors

05-03-2005, 05:55 PM	#32
uno RIP Dodger. BEST.CAT.EVER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: NYC Area Posts: 18,450	"Marijuana can kill you." "it's not your fault we divorced." "We don't have a favorite child." "Finishing school is the most important thing you can ever do." "The cat ran away." "it's a massager." "girls DO NOT have cooties." __________________ -uno icq: 111-914 CrazyBabe.com - porn art MojoHost - For all your hosting needs, present and future. Tell them I sent ya!

05-03-2005, 06:00 PM	#33
Turboface Back in Black Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 9,976	When I was pretty young, I was helping my Dad bring in firewood (We had a nice, big, wood burning stove) and it was hard work. We had a big box that we filled up whenever it ran low. Anyhow, after working and freezing my ass off, my Dad gave me two quarters. He looked at me and said 'That's the easiest 50 cents you're ever going to earn.'. I was thinking like, Fuck. This is gonna suck! __________________ Search Engine Optimization Services for Adult Sites

05-03-2005, 06:03 PM	#34
Stacey_JoinRightNow Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Montreal Posts: 6,269	that santa was the one who puts in the gift in the socks __________________

05-03-2005, 06:14 PM	#35
TheGoldenChild Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Pacific Palisades Posts: 6,940	I was also told that there was a lot of money to made in the online biz.. :-)) __________________

05-03-2005, 06:17 PM	#36
2HousePlague CURATOR Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: the attic Posts: 14,572	Masturbation = Institutionable Madness j- __________________ tada!

05-03-2005, 06:30 PM	#37
RyanL Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,145	I had an uncle who had a stub for a finger. Some type of work related accident I guess. He told me picked his nose and the bugger monster ate his finger! I never picked my nose!! __________________ ICQ: #126013016 :: Amateur Index

05-03-2005, 06:32 PM	#38
johnnyhey Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: los angeles Posts: 1,172	"you can be anything you want to be if you set your mind to it" __________________ CandyDreams.com shooter for hire info[at]candydreams.com ICQ:96563638 AIM: johnnyhey

05-03-2005, 06:35 PM	#39
ronaldo Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ#: 272000271 Posts: 5,475	Crime doesn't pay.

05-03-2005, 06:37 PM	#40
JFPdude Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Mountains of Western North Carolina. Posts: 4,027	I was told AaronM was my daddy. I found out years later he was only the next in line.

05-03-2005, 06:38 PM	#41
Furious_Female Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Upstate, New York Posts: 8,187	I was raised Catholic. Enough said. __________________ Skype: j3nn.com ICQ 160370494 My current favorite high-converting sponsor: CrakRevenue

05-03-2005, 06:49 PM	#46
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,943	Stop beating off..you'll go blind __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

05-03-2005, 08:40 PM	#49
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	If I swallow seeds from fruits, they will grow inside my stomach.

05-03-2005, 08:49 PM	#50
thumbsdepot Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 778	Back when I was in school the teachers would always scare me by telling me that if I keep misbehaving that they would put it on my permanent record. __________________