Did you ever know anyone who committed suicide? - GoFuckYourself.com

TurboAngel · 09-23-2004, 09:00 AM

I had a friend call me and tell me one of my other g/f was found hanging in a tree in her backyard. I'm kinda pissed of and sad at the same time, is the worst feeling I ever had.

Have you ever had to deal with suicide? How did or would you deal with it?

emmanuelle · 09-23-2004, 09:02 AM

An ex of mine did a few years ago. Suicide makes those around feel horribly guilty for not recognizing the signs.

Trixxxia · 09-23-2004, 09:07 AM

A neighbour committed suicide a few years ago - sad thing was that his youngest child was in the house & he hung himself on the stairs going to the basement. When the daughter woke up and looked for him, she found her father hanging at the bottom of the stairs. She's never been the same since & the family has had many emotional troubles ever since. Sad too because it was a nice family, studious kids, beautiful mother....the father was an older man & believed that people over 65 shouldn't be living. It was his 65th birthday.

bangman · 09-23-2004, 09:08 AM

My best friend killed herself a couple years ago.
It was a horrible feeling that you don't "get over" for awhile.

Stay Strong, TurboAngel.

Odie · 09-23-2004, 09:09 AM

I found out while I was home visiting family that a friend had commited suicide.

we were hanging out in a bar and I asked "hey guys, where's Scottie?"

You should have seen the look on their faces. They thought I was sick. Nobody had told me and there was no way I would have known unless I had asked.

Anyways, my childhood friend had taped a hose to his exhaust on his brand new truck and stuck it in the window. Turned his car on and killed himself.

He left a note saying that he had killed himself b/c his g/f of 7 years turned down his proposal and broke up with him.

I miss him very much. He was such a kind and gentle person who was loved by everyone he came to know. Suicide is such a selfish way to go but the help didn't come fast enough and sometimes desperation is overwhelming.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. May she rest in peace.

Tom_PMs · 09-23-2004, 09:09 AM

Yes.. one of my aunts.

TheLegacy · 09-23-2004, 09:12 AM

I have known a few, and actually did counselling many years back when I was in the ministry.

When there is no hope it is tough to rebuild it - or when stress gets too much

you and those who remain should be upset, the person who did it "stole" something from you - that being their presence and what they added to your life. Suicide is selfish - simple as that.

They need to speak out and talk to their friends about their thoughts and hopelessness - too see themselves as others do. Failing that, they need to start seeing positives in their life, what good they have done, what they can do.. and that tomorrow may bring about a great change for the better.

But never, never blame yourself or feel that you missed the signs. Which btw are many - giving away personal belongings, depression followed by a calm feeling (they have come to terms with death and plan on it) - but if your faced with someone you think is suicidal, one good question is - "so how do you plan on doing it?" if they can answer that in detail, then you have a serious case on your hands. If not, then they are depressed but okay to be encouraged and on their own.

skillfull · 09-23-2004, 09:19 AM

yeah

one of my high school friend
this is a terrible feeling

supermann · 09-23-2004, 09:23 AM

No, and I hope it wont happen.

angeleyes · 09-23-2004, 09:26 AM

Yes, my ex boyfriend, which I still cared about a great deal at the time. (This was years ago) got drunk and shot himself in the head. Took me the longest time to get over it... Oddly enough last year I was digging through my boxes when I moved and I found a letter that he wrote me from school that said "I hope I get to see you again before I die".

uno · 09-23-2004, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Odie
Anyways, my childhood friend had taped a hose to his exhaust on his brand new truck and stuck it in the window. Turned his car on and killed himself.

My high school friend Rob who lived 2 doors down did that a few months ago.

ytcracker · 09-23-2004, 09:38 AM

yea ive known a couple

Manowar · 09-23-2004, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by emmanuelle
An ex of mine did a few years ago. Suicide makes those around feel horribly guilty for not recognizing the signs.

sweetums · 09-23-2004, 09:52 AM

My deepest condolences

A close friend of mine took his life almost 4 years ago. He was brilliant, sensitive, kind, funny. One of those uber-intellectuals. The year leading up to his decision to take his life was a tough one -- I thought he was suffering from a nervous breakdown or a major depression. It was much more serious then that I later found out.

He was losing his mind -- the thing he valued the most about himself. I think that in a moment of lucidity he decided that if he couldn't control his mind fully that life wasn't worth living. He drowned himself.

Anger, frustration, confusion, incredible sadness -- I think you run the gamut of emotions dealing with suicide. Eventually I let go of the anger and accepted that it was his choice no matter how selfish I thought it was. I have a lot of his books on my bookshelf -- he loved books. They're filled with his notes and thoughts jotted into the margins. Brings me a lot of comfort to have those here.

chase · 09-23-2004, 10:10 AM

Just a few months ago our friend John shot himself. We all called him Photon b/c boy could that guy dance in the club. He lived with us for a few months after our first daughter was born. He taught my boys how to dance and play video games and stuff. He was always a very emotional guy...things seemed to affect him more than most men. He fell in love easily....always looking for something that would make him feel whole, I guess, but it was just one disappointment after another. The last one was the straw that broke the camels' back. He came over a week or so before he did it. He and my husband had a falling out a year or two before and we hadn't seen much of him, but when he came over and talked about the girl he was heartbroken over this time, we tried to talk to him and give him hope, and we extended an open invitation for him to come over anytime. He was staying with another couple, two of our good friends then, Tubbs and Sue, who live just 5 or 6 miles away, so he said he would stop by more. Now I wonder if he was saying goodbye...not only to us, but our kids, that called him "Uncle Photon" and loved him. The day he did it was the weekend of Livestock, which is a big music festival they throw down here. The girl had left him, saying she would be right back, and never showed up. Tubbs was at the house with him, but Tubbs is the opposite, a very un-emotional guy, and he just couldn't take it, and he came over here and hung with us until he had to go pick Sue up at 11pm. When they got home, they found him on the lawn. He had gotten Tubbs' gun, and shot himself in the yard. He left a note for them, saying he was sorry. We found out the next morning. We picked up another close friend and went over there to extend our support to Tubbs and Sue, who naturally felt guilty....for leaving him there alone, for not realizing he was suicidal and taking the gun out of the house, you know, everything. When we got there, I went to walk up to the front door, and there was still pieces of him in the yard. I started to panic-sometimes I have anxiety attacks...I get dizzy and I can't breathe. I just didn't expect my last sight of him to be his brains in the grass, and it didn't seem real until that moment when I couldn't keep reality at arm's length anymore. We had to explain to our kids what happened.....those kids have lost far too many people in the last two years...two grandmothers, my son lost his father, and an uncle....the second uncle in four years. I still cry about it, I am right now, in fact. Why didn't we know? I know it's natural to feel that way, but I am very intuitive, and though I knew he was in a depression....I just didn't think he had no idea how much we all loved him, and would miss him.

Lykos · 09-23-2004, 01:24 PM

Nope,thanx god,that really sux

eroswebmaster · 09-23-2004, 01:26 PM

My mother last year. So many emotions to deal with all at one time. Anger, grief, and guilt being the key ones.

robfantasy · 09-23-2004, 01:46 PM

ya that is horrible, no one should kill themselves, theres always a way out no matter how tough

ztik · 09-23-2004, 01:50 PM

When was in junior high I had a good friend blast him self in the face with shotgun. His dad killed himself with it first, the next day, he offed himself too.

mindoza · 09-23-2004, 01:59 PM

When I was 17 one of my closest friends Joel Killed himself...There were so many signs yet none at all. A couple weeks before he shot himself in the head with his dad's gun he shot himself with it in the hand by accident while he was shooting at cans he said. But I remember in the hospital how he kept saying it did not hurt that much to get shot...guess it was a test. Then he sorta spent time doing things he promised people like fixing my neighbors doorbell, going to see an old girlfriend, fixing my stereo.
Coud of...Should of...Would of. I went through the if he only would of done this or that or if I would of read him better.

I got over being mad a long time ago...I can remember that day like it was yesterday...I still see his mom but it is hard she can never see me without crying and it was 18 years ago.

JFK · 09-23-2004, 02:00 PM

Yup happend to me ..... about 20 years ago.... you dont get over it for a very long time

nofx · 09-23-2004, 02:01 PM

yes, when I was back in HS one of my best friends hung himself from a tree with his wallet chain. some joggers found him later on. one of the hardest things ever to deal with. he was one of the coolest guys i'd ever met. RIP Jerry, i miss you man.

James Greuel · 09-23-2004, 02:01 PM

Rolande always said he was gonna use this pistol to blow his brains out.

He didn't.

When he called his freshly ex, she said she was coming over, she didn't, she sent my girlfriend instead.

Total airhead, said she couldn't find him in the house.

He lived with a friend of mine.

He used a shotgun to blow his head off on the side porch.

My friends had to clean up the mess.

They puked, more than once.

No, it's not easy to deal with.

James

candyflip · 09-23-2004, 02:02 PM

I have had a few friends go this way.

Someone really close to me also made an attempt fairly recently.

Sad and pissed off are quite common feelings with regard to suicide.

wdsguy · 09-23-2004, 02:02 PM

No fortunately I haven't

ATL_Ryan · 09-23-2004, 02:15 PM

One of my best friends growing up hung himself this past spring. 2 weeks after his 32nd birthday. I still think about him everyday. Even though I lived in Atlanta and him in Florida we still spoke often and I visited every year or so. He had lost both his Mom and Dad the same month a few years ago and he hadn't been the same since. The funeral was one of the saddest things I've ever been to. The only thing I kept telling myself was, if he was hurting bad enough to kill himself then the pain had gone away and he was in a better place where ever that may be.

R.I.P. James "Jimbo" Sweazy.

HammerALL · 09-23-2004, 02:32 PM

Definitely tough to deal with. I knew a girl in highschool - Kelly - she was 16, a regular at the local hang outs that my friends and I frequented and always a very happy - go lucky type attitude. She was always a little different ( colored her hair green - dressed differently) but always cool and fun to be around. I still remember getting the call from one of her friends telling me that she had committed suicide. I was absolutely shocked - it was over a fight that she had with her boyfriend. She was found in her bed - with an empty bottle of prescription pills. No signs - no apparent depression - just a one time fight. Crazy - I still think about her from time to time - she was a wonderful person - always made me smile.

emthree · 09-23-2004, 02:44 PM

Well as you may have noticed, this is a common thing

Yes, I know a few ... sadly.

Best wishes to all.

fris · 09-23-2004, 02:46 PM

my uncle commited suicide

Nanda · 09-23-2004, 02:51 PM

TurboAngel, I am sorry to hear about your lost. In May, one of my stepcousins commited suicide. I felt bad for the family, but I didn't know him. It turns out he wanted to leave this world because his wife had left him..

He had a very nice military funeral....

Feel better!

Jill_J · 09-23-2004, 04:41 PM

nope and hope that it`ll never happen to someone of my family and friends

Gheenz · 09-23-2004, 04:58 PM

Yep, a friend from high school shot himself with an automatic shotgun while on guard duty in the Marines. Pretty shitty b/c he was a really peaceful, nice kid.

TurboTrucker · 09-23-2004, 04:59 PM

My psycho ex tried that shit all the time, came pretty close a few times.

DWB · 09-23-2004, 05:41 PM

I have known a few but the worst was my cousin who shot herself in the head and did not die. Today she is a mess and always thinks bugs are crawling in her ear... she has the mind of a 5 year old and can not do anything for herself. It's awful.

Another bad one was a girl I knew in high school. I was friends with her brother and one night in her room... get this... she gets dads gun and shot herself TWICE in the head. TWICE!!! How that is even possible I don't know and don't even want to think about it but damn... The first time didn't put you down so you did it again.

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost anyone this way. It's a horrible thing.

Brat · 09-23-2004, 05:59 PM

my uncle hung himself in the basement of the home that him and his wife built together over 30 years ago. He went to the bank and paid all his bills beforehand. A few days earlier he was empyting a milk crate that was filled with cola bottles. his wife asked him what he was doing and he said 'im going to use this crate to stand on when i hang myself'

she said 'dont be an idiot!!! put those bottles back. use the recylcling bin instead!!'

She said this because he had cried wolf many times. He had called home saying to his family 'you're never going to see me again'

Then one day he calls his daughter at work and tells her how much he loves her. She gets worried and calls her husband. Her husband says
'sweety, he's done this more than once, you cant run everytime he cries wolf'
But my cousin didn't feel right about it so she called the cops. They couldnt go in until my grandmother got there with the key. They found him in the cold room in the basement, still breathing. He died on his way to the hospital. Didn't leave any note. He used the recycling bin to stand on. The funeral was HORRIBLE. So much tension. You can tell people were sad but so ANGRY at the same time. My family has gone through many many hours of therapy for that. A few days after he killed himself, his daughter found out she was pregnant with what would have been his first grandchild. Her kid looks exactly like him it's scary. He would have 3 beautiful grandchildren right now. (and a 4th on the way) Very sad.

JFK · 09-23-2004, 06:24 PM

this thread is very depressing .....just disturbed the scabs on some very old wounds.............

zazzouche · 09-23-2004, 06:29 PM

When I was 16 my best friend?s sister killed herself by drinking poison, she was trying to get away from her psycho mum who use to beat her up with wooden spoons or burn her with an iron. I moved since but I always wonder what happened to the rest of the kids. Were they punished more for what their sister had done or did the mother change her behavior?

TheJimmy · 09-23-2004, 06:37 PM

my mother's father killed himself when she was 12-14, I forget the exact age...

he was a dentist, perfectionist, etc...he fell victim to drug abuse and wrote himself a final script...left a note that was pretty sad from what I understand...

even sadder was that my mother's drunken mother even once or twice blamed her for it...

he left behind 3 wonderful baby girls, a wife and a psycho ex-wife...and a lot of relatives that were very angry and sad for years...hell even to this day and this was a few decades ago...

even though I never met the guy, he impacted my life by impacting the way my mother chooses and does relationships...I don't know to be angry or sad for him...suicide has to be one of the worst things to do....

mcmc · 09-23-2004, 06:39 PM

2
one jumped in front of a train and the other shot his head.

its really really bad

baddog · 09-23-2004, 06:39 PM

yeah, I have known a few that took the cowards way out . . . . I don't dwell on it

Basic_man · 09-23-2004, 06:43 PM

hey...its not cool

Mutt · 09-23-2004, 06:56 PM

my friend came home from high school and walked in to find his mother's brains all over the place after she shot herself in the head. also the mom of a girl i went out with in high school, she had wicked depressions and i guess finally gave in.

the only young person i knew who killed himself was 16, he was a few years older than me - i thought he was so cool, good looking guy, car, hot girlfriend - he killed himself over some minor drug trouble he got into and some problems with the girlfriend. crazy - teenagers take stuff so seriously, don't understand that the girlfriend they have at 16 will be nothing but a memory by the time they are 21, hell maybe by 17, and problems that seem so major are really quite minor.

i don't think suicide is a cowardly act usually - i don't know many people who could end their life by their own hand it might be a stupid act, a selfish act, but not cowardly.

and to be honest, some people's lives are screwed up enough that suicide is a release. not all things can be repaired - minds and bodies don't all heal. there is no glory in completing a race that you can't win.

SureFire · 09-23-2004, 07:32 PM

My best friend mother took here life. Sad thing is that she was attempting suicide for years. I don?t think she wanted to go through with it but it was her only way to get attention from her husband and tried the ploy one to many times. It was sad attending the funeral; only a handful of people attended. I had a hard time dealing with her death since I was the one who found her.

Everyone told me that it wasn?t my fault, but I still think if I was five minutes earlier I could have done something. Instead, I had to tell my friend that we need to 911 and we can?t go into the garage. I will never forget the look of my friend?s face and that I was just a kid too.

Suicide is really one of the most selfish acts of ending ones life?

NinjaSteve · 09-23-2004, 07:36 PM

When I was in highschool, 10th grade, my girlfriends brother shot himself with a 22 on New Years day around 2am. The incident was terrible, and so were the things that followed.

digifan · 09-23-2004, 07:59 PM

Yes I have had a few friends myself... and I tried to offer them help but they were so deep down that refused it.

Smurfette · 09-23-2004, 08:25 PM

I went to University to be a social worker for children of cancer cause my step sister had it, but when I went into the janeway I got sick from the smell of death. So then I decided to be a social worker for rape victims and addicts. Dropped out though to get married for the first time!

I grew up with family in AA and the 12 step programs and had a sponsor that thought he was a failure in his success and killed himself. But I remember going to the bar one night on a big bender and seeing him there after he died. I wasn't the only one that thought they saw him that night. Freaked me out and I still miss him dearly, he was on the straight road but wasn't taking it one day at a time, he was thinking way to far ahead of himself. But he was doing great just had a slip

Still blame myself that I didn't see his slip and help him the way he helped me all those times.

Another friend thought his girlfriend was leaving him and up to the cabin he hauled out a shotgun and killed himself in front of his girlfriend. It turned out she was pregnant with twins and didn't know how to tell me. It was a hard year in school.

People who do this don't realize just what they are leaving behind. I agree it is selfish, they don't seem to think about what they are doing to the family and friends that stood behind them and tried to help them out.

Sorry drunk right now and that hit hard. Seems like yesterday and it was over 15 years ago.

Smurfette

TurboAngel · 09-24-2004, 08:52 AM

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I'm soory that you all had to think about it once again. I do feel some what better today, we all knew she would do it. The way she live her life wasn't right. Getting up and hitting the bottle of JD and drinking a 5th or 2 a day.

09-23-2004, 09:00 AM	#1
TurboAngel H.B.I.C. Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NC Posts: 30,122	Did you ever know anyone who committed suicide? I had a friend call me and tell me one of my other g/f was found hanging in a tree in her backyard. I'm kinda pissed of and sad at the same time, is the worst feeling I ever had. Have you ever had to deal with suicide? How did or would you deal with it?

09-23-2004, 09:08 AM	#4
bangman Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: PA, USA Posts: 5,283	My best friend killed herself a couple years ago. It was a horrible feeling that you don't "get over" for awhile. Stay Strong, TurboAngel. __________________ - David Hall ICQ: 312744199

09-23-2004, 09:09 AM	#5
Odie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The WATER BABY! Posts: 7,040	I found out while I was home visiting family that a friend had commited suicide. we were hanging out in a bar and I asked "hey guys, where's Scottie?" You should have seen the look on their faces. They thought I was sick. Nobody had told me and there was no way I would have known unless I had asked. Anyways, my childhood friend had taped a hose to his exhaust on his brand new truck and stuck it in the window. Turned his car on and killed himself. He left a note saying that he had killed himself b/c his g/f of 7 years turned down his proposal and broke up with him. I miss him very much. He was such a kind and gentle person who was loved by everyone he came to know. Suicide is such a selfish way to go but the help didn't come fast enough and sometimes desperation is overwhelming. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. May she rest in peace. __________________ Odie [email protected] Are you Mobile???? MMACanada ICQ # 166208354 See Who I Am At AdultWhosWho.com!

09-23-2004, 09:09 AM	#6
Tom_PMs Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,049	Yes.. one of my aunts. __________________ You've read it, you can't unread it.

09-23-2004, 09:12 AM	#7
TheLegacy SEO Connoisseur Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Brantford, Ontario Posts: 17,181	I have known a few, and actually did counselling many years back when I was in the ministry. When there is no hope it is tough to rebuild it - or when stress gets too much you and those who remain should be upset, the person who did it "stole" something from you - that being their presence and what they added to your life. Suicide is selfish - simple as that. They need to speak out and talk to their friends about their thoughts and hopelessness - too see themselves as others do. Failing that, they need to start seeing positives in their life, what good they have done, what they can do.. and that tomorrow may bring about a great change for the better. But never, never blame yourself or feel that you missed the signs. Which btw are many - giving away personal belongings, depression followed by a calm feeling (they have come to terms with death and plan on it) - but if your faced with someone you think is suicidal, one good question is - "so how do you plan on doing it?" if they can answer that in detail, then you have a serious case on your hands. If not, then they are depressed but okay to be encouraged and on their own. __________________ SEO Connoisseur Microsoft Teams: Robert Warren SEO Telegram: @TheLegacy54 RobertWarrenSEO.com

09-23-2004, 09:02 AM	#2
emmanuelle Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Oh Canada! Posts: 3,662	An ex of mine did a few years ago. Suicide makes those around feel horribly guilty for not recognizing the signs.

09-23-2004, 09:07 AM	#3
Trixxxia Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 5,600	A neighbour committed suicide a few years ago - sad thing was that his youngest child was in the house & he hung himself on the stairs going to the basement. When the daughter woke up and looked for him, she found her father hanging at the bottom of the stairs. She's never been the same since & the family has had many emotional troubles ever since. Sad too because it was a nice family, studious kids, beautiful mother....the father was an older man & believed that people over 65 shouldn't be living. It was his 65th birthday.

09-23-2004, 09:19 AM	#8
skillfull Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Quebec Calisse Posts: 4,716	yeah one of my high school friend this is a terrible feeling __________________ mind at underdark dot cc SEO Analyst Thunder-Ball.net - Member

09-23-2004, 09:23 AM	#9
supermann Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 412	No, and I hope it wont happen.

09-23-2004, 09:26 AM	#10
angeleyes Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Wandering around FL using random Wireless Connections Posts: 3,584	Yes, my ex boyfriend, which I still cared about a great deal at the time. (This was years ago) got drunk and shot himself in the head. Took me the longest time to get over it... Oddly enough last year I was digging through my boxes when I moved and I found a letter that he wrote me from school that said "I hope I get to see you again before I die". __________________ Need a Writer? Contact Me. I write quality descriptions, short erotic stories, quality one-liners.. whatever you need.

09-23-2004, 09:38 AM	#12
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	yea ive known a couple __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you

09-23-2004, 09:52 AM	#14
sweetums Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Icy Hellish Tundra Posts: 2,534	My deepest condolences A close friend of mine took his life almost 4 years ago. He was brilliant, sensitive, kind, funny. One of those uber-intellectuals. The year leading up to his decision to take his life was a tough one -- I thought he was suffering from a nervous breakdown or a major depression. It was much more serious then that I later found out. He was losing his mind -- the thing he valued the most about himself. I think that in a moment of lucidity he decided that if he couldn't control his mind fully that life wasn't worth living. He drowned himself. Anger, frustration, confusion, incredible sadness -- I think you run the gamut of emotions dealing with suicide. Eventually I let go of the anger and accepted that it was his choice no matter how selfish I thought it was. I have a lot of his books on my bookshelf -- he loved books. They're filled with his notes and thoughts jotted into the margins. Brings me a lot of comfort to have those here. __________________ ICQ: 114549321

09-23-2004, 10:10 AM	#15
chase Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 6,019	Just a few months ago our friend John shot himself. We all called him Photon b/c boy could that guy dance in the club. He lived with us for a few months after our first daughter was born. He taught my boys how to dance and play video games and stuff. He was always a very emotional guy...things seemed to affect him more than most men. He fell in love easily....always looking for something that would make him feel whole, I guess, but it was just one disappointment after another. The last one was the straw that broke the camels' back. He came over a week or so before he did it. He and my husband had a falling out a year or two before and we hadn't seen much of him, but when he came over and talked about the girl he was heartbroken over this time, we tried to talk to him and give him hope, and we extended an open invitation for him to come over anytime. He was staying with another couple, two of our good friends then, Tubbs and Sue, who live just 5 or 6 miles away, so he said he would stop by more. Now I wonder if he was saying goodbye...not only to us, but our kids, that called him "Uncle Photon" and loved him. The day he did it was the weekend of Livestock, which is a big music festival they throw down here. The girl had left him, saying she would be right back, and never showed up. Tubbs was at the house with him, but Tubbs is the opposite, a very un-emotional guy, and he just couldn't take it, and he came over here and hung with us until he had to go pick Sue up at 11pm. When they got home, they found him on the lawn. He had gotten Tubbs' gun, and shot himself in the yard. He left a note for them, saying he was sorry. We found out the next morning. We picked up another close friend and went over there to extend our support to Tubbs and Sue, who naturally felt guilty....for leaving him there alone, for not realizing he was suicidal and taking the gun out of the house, you know, everything. When we got there, I went to walk up to the front door, and there was still pieces of him in the yard. I started to panic-sometimes I have anxiety attacks...I get dizzy and I can't breathe. I just didn't expect my last sight of him to be his brains in the grass, and it didn't seem real until that moment when I couldn't keep reality at arm's length anymore. We had to explain to our kids what happened.....those kids have lost far too many people in the last two years...two grandmothers, my son lost his father, and an uncle....the second uncle in four years. I still cry about it, I am right now, in fact. Why didn't we know? I know it's natural to feel that way, but I am very intuitive, and though I knew he was in a depression....I just didn't think he had no idea how much we all loved him, and would miss him. __________________ Need Hosting? Reality Check Network services me purrrfectly!

09-23-2004, 01:24 PM	#16
Lykos Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: World Posts: 31,027	Nope,thanx god,that really sux __________________

09-23-2004, 01:26 PM	#17
eroswebmaster March 1st, 2003 Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Seat 4 @ Venetian Poker Room Posts: 20,295	My mother last year. So many emotions to deal with all at one time. Anger, grief, and guilt being the key ones. __________________ For rent - ICQ 127-027-910 Click here for more details

09-23-2004, 01:46 PM	#18
robfantasy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Medellin, Colombia Posts: 6,445	ya that is horrible, no one should kill themselves, theres always a way out no matter how tough __________________ Looking to speak w/ high volume nutra CPA affiliates or networks... msg me

09-23-2004, 01:50 PM	#19
ztik Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Nomad Posts: 5,196	When was in junior high I had a good friend blast him self in the face with shotgun. His dad killed himself with it first, the next day, he offed himself too. __________________ .

09-23-2004, 01:59 PM	#20
mindoza Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 1,625	When I was 17 one of my closest friends Joel Killed himself...There were so many signs yet none at all. A couple weeks before he shot himself in the head with his dad's gun he shot himself with it in the hand by accident while he was shooting at cans he said. But I remember in the hospital how he kept saying it did not hurt that much to get shot...guess it was a test. Then he sorta spent time doing things he promised people like fixing my neighbors doorbell, going to see an old girlfriend, fixing my stereo. Coud of...Should of...Would of. I went through the if he only would of done this or that or if I would of read him better. I got over being mad a long time ago...I can remember that day like it was yesterday...I still see his mom but it is hard she can never see me without crying and it was 18 years ago. __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

09-23-2004, 02:00 PM	#21
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	Yup happend to me ..... about 20 years ago.... you dont get over it for a very long time __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

09-23-2004, 02:01 PM	#22
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	yes, when I was back in HS one of my best friends hung himself from a tree with his wallet chain. some joggers found him later on. one of the hardest things ever to deal with. he was one of the coolest guys i'd ever met. RIP Jerry, i miss you man. __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

09-23-2004, 02:01 PM	#23
James Greuel Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 243	Rolande always said he was gonna use this pistol to blow his brains out. He didn't. When he called his freshly ex, she said she was coming over, she didn't, she sent my girlfriend instead. Total airhead, said she couldn't find him in the house. He lived with a friend of mine. He used a shotgun to blow his head off on the side porch. My friends had to clean up the mess. They puked, more than once. No, it's not easy to deal with. James

09-23-2004, 02:02 PM	#24
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,064	I have had a few friends go this way. Someone really close to me also made an attempt fairly recently. Sad and pissed off are quite common feelings with regard to suicide. __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

09-23-2004, 02:02 PM	#25
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	No fortunately I haven't

09-23-2004, 02:15 PM	#26
ATL_Ryan Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 1,519	One of my best friends growing up hung himself this past spring. 2 weeks after his 32nd birthday. I still think about him everyday. Even though I lived in Atlanta and him in Florida we still spoke often and I visited every year or so. He had lost both his Mom and Dad the same month a few years ago and he hadn't been the same since. The funeral was one of the saddest things I've ever been to. The only thing I kept telling myself was, if he was hurting bad enough to kill himself then the pain had gone away and he was in a better place where ever that may be. R.I.P. James "Jimbo" Sweazy.

09-23-2004, 02:32 PM	#27
HammerALL Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,506	Definitely tough to deal with. I knew a girl in highschool - Kelly - she was 16, a regular at the local hang outs that my friends and I frequented and always a very happy - go lucky type attitude. She was always a little different ( colored her hair green - dressed differently) but always cool and fun to be around. I still remember getting the call from one of her friends telling me that she had committed suicide. I was absolutely shocked - it was over a fight that she had with her boyfriend. She was found in her bed - with an empty bottle of prescription pills. No signs - no apparent depression - just a one time fight. Crazy - I still think about her from time to time - she was a wonderful person - always made me smile. __________________ Mario Amaral AKA: Hammerall Affiliate Sales \| Email:[email protected] Skype: Hammerall \| ICQ: 190272140

09-23-2004, 02:44 PM	#28
emthree Dialer Kingpin Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: New York Posts: 10,816	Well as you may have noticed, this is a common thing Yes, I know a few ... sadly. Best wishes to all. __________________ • Sell Patches & Pills •

09-23-2004, 02:46 PM	#29
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,372	my uncle commited suicide __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

09-23-2004, 02:51 PM	#30
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	TurboAngel, I am sorry to hear about your lost. In May, one of my stepcousins commited suicide. I felt bad for the family, but I didn't know him. It turns out he wanted to leave this world because his wife had left him.. He had a very nice military funeral.... Feel better! __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

09-23-2004, 04:41 PM	#31
Jill_J Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,599	nope and hope that it`ll never happen to someone of my family and friends __________________ Cash Maniacs - around 50 sites, all niches!

09-23-2004, 04:58 PM	#32
Gheenz Here's Your Sign Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: MT, USA Posts: 2,410	Yep, a friend from high school shot himself with an automatic shotgun while on guard duty in the Marines. Pretty shitty b/c he was a really peaceful, nice kid. __________________ Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

09-23-2004, 04:59 PM	#33
TurboTrucker Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Phoenix Arizona Posts: 2,363	My psycho ex tried that shit all the time, came pretty close a few times. __________________

09-23-2004, 05:41 PM	#34
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	I have known a few but the worst was my cousin who shot herself in the head and did not die. Today she is a mess and always thinks bugs are crawling in her ear... she has the mind of a 5 year old and can not do anything for herself. It's awful. Another bad one was a girl I knew in high school. I was friends with her brother and one night in her room... get this... she gets dads gun and shot herself TWICE in the head. TWICE!!! How that is even possible I don't know and don't even want to think about it but damn... The first time didn't put you down so you did it again. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost anyone this way. It's a horrible thing.

09-23-2004, 05:59 PM	#35
Brat Got MIDs? Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 1,545	my uncle hung himself in the basement of the home that him and his wife built together over 30 years ago. He went to the bank and paid all his bills beforehand. A few days earlier he was empyting a milk crate that was filled with cola bottles. his wife asked him what he was doing and he said 'im going to use this crate to stand on when i hang myself' she said 'dont be an idiot!!! put those bottles back. use the recylcling bin instead!!' She said this because he had cried wolf many times. He had called home saying to his family 'you're never going to see me again' Then one day he calls his daughter at work and tells her how much he loves her. She gets worried and calls her husband. Her husband says 'sweety, he's done this more than once, you cant run everytime he cries wolf' But my cousin didn't feel right about it so she called the cops. They couldnt go in until my grandmother got there with the key. They found him in the cold room in the basement, still breathing. He died on his way to the hospital. Didn't leave any note. He used the recycling bin to stand on. The funeral was HORRIBLE. So much tension. You can tell people were sad but so ANGRY at the same time. My family has gone through many many hours of therapy for that. A few days after he killed himself, his daughter found out she was pregnant with what would have been his first grandchild. Her kid looks exactly like him it's scary. He would have 3 beautiful grandchildren right now. (and a 4th on the way) Very sad.

09-23-2004, 06:24 PM	#36
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	this thread is very depressing .....just disturbed the scabs on some very old wounds............. __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

09-23-2004, 06:29 PM	#37
zazzouche Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 113	When I was 16 my best friend?s sister killed herself by drinking poison, she was trying to get away from her psycho mum who use to beat her up with wooden spoons or burn her with an iron. I moved since but I always wonder what happened to the rest of the kids. Were they punished more for what their sister had done or did the mother change her behavior?