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When I was 17 one of my closest friends Joel Killed himself...There were so many signs yet none at all. A couple weeks before he shot himself in the head with his dad's gun he shot himself with it in the hand by accident while he was shooting at cans he said. But I remember in the hospital how he kept saying it did not hurt that much to get shot...guess it was a test. Then he sorta spent time doing things he promised people like fixing my neighbors doorbell, going to see an old girlfriend, fixing my stereo.
Coud of...Should of...Would of. I went through the if he only would of done this or that or if I would of read him better.
I got over being mad a long time ago...I can remember that day like it was yesterday...I still see his mom but it is hard she can never see me without crying and it was 18 years ago.
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