pet

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[This message has been edited by pet (edited 07-08-2001).]

angelduster

the chicken ran across the road....at the same time a monkey fell out of a tree.....across the river a elephant was cought fucking a rhino.....whats the funny part of this bullshit you may ask....you actually read the damn thing...you may not find this funny....but right now i'm laughing at you.ha ha

fredicus

A lady was looking in her bedroom mirror when a genie appeared. He told
her she could have one wish. Immediately she said she would like to be
amply endowed. Boom, 44D's. When she walked downstairs, her husband said,
"Wow, how did you do that?" when the wife explained about the genie he
immediately ran upstairs to the mirror. The genie appeared and told him
he could have one wish. His wish was for his endowment to reach the floor.
Boom, his legs were gone!

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unlikely to be Y3K Compliant
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Are you trying to tell me that coconuts migrate ?

fredicus

A man went to the circus and asked for a job. "What can you do?.
the ringmaster asked.
"I can make love to 20 women, one after the other". the man boasted.
Not believing him, the ringmaster called all of the circus women.
Sure enough, the man made love to twenty of them, one after the other.
"All right you can start tomorrow night." the ringmaster told him.
So, next night, the man came out into the ring.
Twenty women followed him. He made love to the first, then the second...
but after 10, he was totally exhausted and collapsed.
"What happened"? the ringmaster asked.
"Dunno", he said. "It all went fine in rehearsal this afternoon".

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unlikely to be Y3K Compliant
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Are you trying to tell me that coconuts migrate ?

fredicus

A soldier stepped up to the medic for a short-arm inspection. The medic
noticed a dot on the end of his penis and asked about it. "That's my
girlfriend's name, sir," he replied. "Her name is Dot?" asked the medic
"No sir," said the soldier, "when I get an erection it spells DOROTHY
JEAN CUNNINGHAM.
The next patient comes in and undresses. The first thing the medic notices,
of course, is the row of dots on the man's penis. "I see you too have a
tattoo of your girlfriend's name on your penis," he says.
"Oh no," the patient replies, "when I get an erection it says:
Welcome to Jamaica, mon, we hope you will enjoy you stay."

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unlikely to be Y3K Compliant
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Are you trying to tell me that coconuts migrate ?

markvh

A hippie was riding a bus one day as it passes a convent and a nun boards the bus.
The only seat was next to the hippie.
The hippie is so stoned that he makes a pass at the nun.
She is offended and gets off the bus at the next stop.
The bus driver, having overheard the conversation, gives him some valuable info about the nun.
He says "That same nun goes to the cemetery and prays for the dead every Sunday at midnight, and she is very loyal to God". "All you need to do is pose as God and tell her to have sex with you".
The hippie is so wasted he tells the bud driver he's gonna do it.
That Sunday, he heads over to the cemetery and waits. When it reaches midnight, he sees the nun walk into the cemetery.
Out pops the hippie as God and commands her to have sex with him.
The nun agrees but only under one condition, that it can only be anal sex, because she doesn't want to lose her virginity.
The "Hippie God" agrees to the terms and fucks her up the ass at once.
When he's done blowing his load all over the nun's ass, he admits to her who he really is and dances around joyously.
The nun starts to laugh and she also is dancing around.
Puzzled, the hippie asks the nun, "Why are you so happy? I just tricked you into letting me fuck you up the ass".
The nun pulls up her veil to show that she is not a nun at all, but the Bus Driver!!!

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misterwalrus

My 2 cents:

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and
sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to
him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence,
we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"

The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister
accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde
with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of
saying,'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said,
'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'....so she socked me a good one."

The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue
twister accident too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say
to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally
said, 'You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch."


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FUCK ALL Y'ALL

sickkittens

I have been eaten. ;)

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