Oracle's guide on how to get laid.
 

well im not gonna bullshit too much, lets start:

go out to a club.
before you go there.... prepare....

1) Wear nice cloths, fashionable, not your comfy baggie pants from walmart you got for $9.95 4 years ago.

2) Take a shower, put deodorant on and body spray, chicks LOVE it when a guy smells good. and put on LOTS of cologne before you go out, it will dry out but will be enough to get the chick to notice you smell good.

3) If you got too much hair, a unibrow or anything of that sort, take it down.

4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.

go out, if you got a shitty $500 car get a cab or ask your friend your going with for a ride.

never go out before the doors open at the club, if they open their doors at 11, be there at 12.

when you get there, don't go straight it, check out around you, who is around, how are the chicks, if the place looks dead find another place.

when you get it, check out the scene, check whats going on, get yourself a drink, loosen up.

once you got yourself a drink or two, chew some fucking gum, nothing girls despise the most then some guy smelling like an alcoholic.

get on the dance floor, dont stand there like a fucking retard and stare and the guys that are dancing hooking up with all the hot chicks.

once you start dancing, make an eye contact with a girl you think is hot, if she makes some eye contact with you (and doesn't look disgusted) come a little closer to her and dance with her, if she responds (positively) and dances with you for a few min, ask her if she wants to come with you for a drink....

in case you make contact with some chicks who responds disgustedly don't give up, move on, there are 100's of hot chicks in the club looking for a nice dick to hump on....

more when this thread hits 100 posts...

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Im goin to try that sounds great.:thumbsup

!!DISCLAIMER!!

Use this information at your own risk...

If I followed your advice,I would be taking walks in the park sucking cock..oh wait

see troll's nick

funny but its all true

Thanks for the tip

oh my

lol

oracleporn you are so right and yet so wrong at the same time

umm what do u do if u can't dance?

I don't find it amusing. :2 cents:

If you didn't already know this info, theres something wrong....More along the lines of common sense :glugglug

take some dance classes or sit yo ass at home.

hey any tips on how to dance

Yeah.. We know what happened last time you followed your own guidelines..

http://almostlucky.com/op.gif


:glugglug

Hardly a troll...props to you on divulging such useful information...Im trying to get this thread to the 100th post mark so that you will share more with us...

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

How long did it take you to devise this innovative strategy?

It sounds like wisdom born of years of trial and error :1orglaugh

you might try moving out of moms house before giving advice on women.

real women laugh at kids who live with their parents.

go try to impress your friends and not us.

:1orglaugh ownage

eww do chicks really dig smelly dance floor fags? gross.

Don't forget the sock in your pants.

:clown

OMFG you are the king man

the funniest part about this thread is Oracle Porn isnt even old enough to get into a REAL CLUB

you cant even buy a girl a drink how you giving advice about them?

still got a couple years before you can get int

:1orglaugh

About the cologne ... Don't wear too much . once you are out of the club, it stinks

Shouldn't you know how to do something before you write a guide about it?

:1orglaugh

the similarities between this and the "get your TGP to 300k in 6 days" lil2rich4u thread are staggering

:1orglaugh

the blind leading the blind

hey give him a break.. he learned alot during his trip to Israel...!

Holy Shit! You're right.. Damn.. That's scary.. :1orglaugh

I mean, who the fuck wants to be a lil2rich4u2 poser? (no offense rich..) :1orglaugh

i pick up girls at starbucks, they seem to have an addiction for that shit

take a shower? damn no wonder i havent been getting laid

its funny that people who think that your hair, clothes, car, etc really matter for bagging girls, yeah it matters a little bit but only guys with game get girls. chances are any guy that uses this advice without any game will just dance with a girl all night and then she will ditch him.

very true, and you don't want to over do it on stuff like clothes, car etc. Then all you will get is gold diggers :ak47:

:thumbsup

you guys are funny, so funny that I probebly get laid in a months more than all of you in a year....

men or women?

Those in between.

:glugglug

holy christ
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
I think I just peed on myself a little bit.

Plus my hand is cramping because I was furiously scrolling to see if NoCarrier and MetaMan had replied to him yet.


:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Honey that advice is great for some.. but if a guy is carrying some extra lbs and not young and trendy.. i dont think throwing his weight around on the dance floor and working up a sweat (mixed with that strong cologne) is gonna guarantee him some puntang.

Nothing more unsexy than a guy trying too hard.. i much prefer the laid back guys who would rather just be themselves.:2 cents:

each to their own tho!