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-   -   Oracle's guide on how to get laid. (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=338146)

Kard63 08-09-2004 12:43 AM
I cant dance and I'm always hot I'd start sweating if I did.

Oracle's advise isn't bad. He can't give you the right attitude, and he does look better than what most of you (men) have posted.

BTW who wants to fuck a bunch of random club hoes? Since I only like long meaningful relationships firneds of friends or some shit like that is best for me, lol. I mean if we all go have fun great, and if we try to go have fun and dont, I can sneak out :1orglaugh

TDF 08-09-2004 12:45 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Fletch XXX
you might try moving out of moms house before giving advice on women.

real women laugh at kids who live with their parents.

go try to impress your friends and not us.



so true:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

hydro 08-09-2004 12:51 AM
just watch blind date and do the exact oppisite of what those guys do and say.

Face (o_0) 08-09-2004 12:53 AM
we almost at 100 yet :Graucho

bhutocracy 08-09-2004 12:54 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Oracle Porn
well im not gonna bullshit too much, lets start:

go out to a club.
before you go there.... prepare....

1) Wear nice cloths, fashionable, not your comfy baggie pants from walmart you got for $9.95 4 years ago.

2) Take a shower, put deodorant on and body spray, chicks LOVE it when a guy smells good. and put on LOTS of cologne before you go out, it will dry out but will be enough to get the chick to notice you smell good.

3) If you got too much hair, a unibrow or anything of that sort, take it down.

4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.

go out, if you got a shitty $500 car get a cab or ask your friend your going with for a ride.

never go out before the doors open at the club, if they open their doors at 11, be there at 12.

when you get there, don't go straight it, check out around you, who is around, how are the chicks, if the place looks dead find another place.

when you get it, check out the scene, check whats going on, get yourself a drink, loosen up.

once you got yourself a drink or two, chew some fucking gum, nothing girls despise the most then some guy smelling like an alcoholic.

get on the dance floor, dont stand there like a fucking retard and stare and the guys that are dancing hooking up with all the hot chicks.

once you start dancing, make an eye contact with a girl you think is hot, if she makes some eye contact with you (and doesn't look disgusted) come a little closer to her and dance with her, if she responds (positively) and dances with you for a few min, ask her if she wants to come with you for a drink....

in case you make contact with some chicks who responds disgustedly don't give up, move on, there are 100's of hot chicks in the club looking for a nice dick to hump on....

more when this thread hits 100 posts...
..

You're a virgin aren't you?

DIMITRY-CHEKIN 08-09-2004 01:04 AM
well. here you not gonna get laid, but you can do something else. :Graucho


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DIMITRY-CHEKIN 08-09-2004 01:12 AM
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Oncle_Benny 08-09-2004 03:24 AM
http://etudiant.tim.cstj.net/2003/03...raclebenny.gif

Babagirls 08-09-2004 03:29 AM
4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bullshit. a lot of girls love the nice jeans, comfy but nice lookin white shirt and a (CLEAN! not covered in old sweat stains & dirt) baseball hat.

trust me. :glugglug

TDF 08-09-2004 03:29 AM
50 idiots who couldnt get laid with a wet sock

Tim 08-09-2004 03:31 AM
Learn something every day here!

hova 08-09-2004 03:35 AM
This works for 16 year old boys.........

Nicky 08-09-2004 03:36 AM
wow, advice on how to hook up with trannys, must try!:Graucho

Goatse 08-09-2004 03:45 AM
It sounds more like a guide to eternal masturbation to me.

TheMob 08-09-2004 03:58 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Babagirls
4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bullshit. a lot of girls love the nice jeans, comfy but nice lookin white shirt and a (CLEAN! not covered in old sweat stains & dirt) baseball hat.

trust me. :glugglug
i recommend wearing a real hat, not something everyone and his mom wear

strobi 08-09-2004 04:10 AM
I go out clubbing like this:



http://beyond-personal-training.com/c1.jpg

and tons of extra colone! I get game ALL the time!

polish_aristocrat 08-09-2004 05:29 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Oracle Porn
well im not gonna bullshit too much, lets start:

go out to a club.
before you go there.... prepare....

1) Wear nice cloths, fashionable, not your comfy baggie pants from walmart you got for $9.95 4 years ago.

2) Take a shower, put deodorant on and body spray, chicks LOVE it when a guy smells good. and put on LOTS of cologne before you go out, it will dry out but will be enough to get the chick to notice you smell good.

3) If you got too much hair, a unibrow or anything of that sort, take it down.

4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.

go out, if you got a shitty $500 car get a cab or ask your friend your going with for a ride.

never go out before the doors open at the club, if they open their doors at 11, be there at 12.

when you get there, don't go straight it, check out around you, who is around, how are the chicks, if the place looks dead find another place.

when you get it, check out the scene, check whats going on, get yourself a drink, loosen up.

once you got yourself a drink or two, chew some fucking gum, nothing girls despise the most then some guy smelling like an alcoholic.

get on the dance floor, dont stand there like a fucking retard and stare and the guys that are dancing hooking up with all the hot chicks.

once you start dancing, make an eye contact with a girl you think is hot, if she makes some eye contact with you (and doesn't look disgusted) come a little closer to her and dance with her, if she responds (positively) and dances with you for a few min, ask her if she wants to come with you for a drink....

in case you make contact with some chicks who responds disgustedly don't give up, move on, there are 100's of hot chicks in the club looking for a nice dick to hump on....

more when this thread hits 100 posts...
everything fine but i can't dance :(

IPK 08-09-2004 06:52 AM
IPK's Guide on how to get laid:

1. Signup for AdultFriendFinder under my ref code
2. Bang chicks.

Vitasoy 08-09-2004 07:06 AM
Sounds like a pretty straight forward common sense good :p

fr33s3x 08-09-2004 07:25 AM
gay

Oracle Porn 08-09-2004 08:37 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Kard63
I cant dance and I'm always hot I'd start sweating if I did.

Oracle's advise isn't bad. He can't give you the right attitude, and he does look better than what most of you (men) have posted.

BTW who wants to fuck a bunch of random club hoes? Since I only like long meaningful relationships firneds of friends or some shit like that is best for me, lol. I mean if we all go have fun great, and if we try to go have fun and dont, I can sneak out :1orglaugh
Hehehe thanks...
not everyone like relationships....and sometimes those "club hoes" can surprise you...:winkwink:

Oracle Porn 08-09-2004 08:38 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Babagirls
4) don't wear a freaking hat, you don't go out with a hat...geez you will look like a damn red neck. get your hair done, gel or what not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bullshit. a lot of girls love the nice jeans, comfy but nice lookin white shirt and a (CLEAN! not covered in old sweat stains & dirt) baseball hat.

trust me. :glugglug
I'm talking about MOST of the girls...not all of them...
some girls like fat stinky red necks...there are exceptions.

Oracle Porn 08-09-2004 08:39 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by polish_aristocrat
everything fine but i can't dance :(
learn bro, it's not that hard....

pxxx 08-09-2004 08:46 AM
You just have to know how to talk and treat a girl.

johndoebob 08-09-2004 08:53 AM
I thought it would be easier to get laid in a gay/tranny club but oh well Oracle proves me wrong again.

skillfull 08-09-2004 09:07 AM
first step
forget those guide and other bullshit
second step
use common sence
third step
be yourself
fourth step
please dont be Oracle

:2 cents:

bdld 08-09-2004 09:09 AM
go to clubs further away from where you live, preferrably in a lower rent district, you'll stand out more.

FlyingIguana 08-09-2004 09:13 AM
iguana's guide to getting laid

drive a bike and when chicks show interest get a number. pussy at clubs is fucking bs, just call an escort and cut out the bullshit.

johndoebob 08-09-2004 09:19 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by bdld
go to clubs further away from where you live, preferrably in a lower rent district, you'll stand out more.
And get robbed because of that :winkwink:

Oracle Porn 08-09-2004 09:22 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by FlyingIguana
iguana's guide to getting laid

drive a bike and when chicks show interest get a number. pussy at clubs is fucking bs, just call an escort and cut out the bullshit.
:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

you don't get laid a lot that's for sure.

alexg 08-09-2004 09:31 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by polish_aristocrat
everything fine but i can't dance :(
so you'll need a little more then 1 drink

RobD 08-09-2004 09:48 AM
you should write a book, I thought girls liked dirty stinky guys :1orglaugh

cosis 08-09-2004 09:59 AM
guide to getting laid

show a stacks of 100 dollars bills to girl
insert penis into vagina

extreme 08-09-2004 10:13 AM
about sums it up.

http 08-09-2004 10:32 AM
LOTS of cologne huh?


that may work well in white trash and lady boy clubs but only there

Lace 08-09-2004 10:39 AM
thread is still going?

beergood 08-09-2004 10:44 AM
Quote:
get on the dance floor, dont stand there like a fucking retard and stare and the guys that are dancing hooking up with all the hot chicks.

once you start dancing, make an eye contact with a girl you think is hot, if she makes some eye contact with you (and doesn't look disgusted) come a little closer to her and dance with her, if she responds (positively) and dances with you for a few min, ask her if she wants to come with you for a drink....
So you're one of guys who goes out and tries to grind up on a girls ass in a club. Alot like a dog humping someones leg. Talking a while first, getting a drink and then dancing is alot less creepy. Of course you have to have the balls to walk up to a chick and say hello first.

Oracle Porn 08-09-2004 10:50 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by beergood
So you're one of guys who goes out and tries to grind up on a girls ass in a club. Alot like a dog humping someones leg. Talking a while first, getting a drink and then dancing is alot less creepy. Of course you have to have the balls to walk up to a chick and say hello first.
I don't grind on girls that doesn't want to be grinded on.

StarkReality 08-09-2004 10:52 AM
Never met any really interesting girls in clubs. Sure, good for a one night stand, but it becomes really boring over the time...never satisfying, you don't know what she likes, she doesn't know what you like and in the morning you awake and try to get away as fast as you can run.

The girls you really want aren't the ones you meet in clubs...they don't want men who dance (they only want to dance while you watch :Graucho)...they love your walmart jeans (and think this stylish outfit you never liked to wear looks gay)...they don't want a drink (because your cum tastes better)...they are out there and you'll find them when you stop looking for one night stands all the time :2 cents:


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