SleazyDream

Curious

how you you kill someone you know and get away with it?
Not a stranger, someone you can be linked to.

Expecting some interesting ideas here....

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Yngwie

hire a local bum to do the hit. Make sure he doesn't see your face.. I'm sure he'll do it for a case of beer or some shit. haha

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Yngwie

that way you keep yourself clear, hopefully.

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Farang

Good question lol

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NY Jester

the key is the remaining evidence.

So the key things to work on are..cleanliness of crime scene or a remote location would be best..woods, outdoors. Body..make sure you can dispose of it properly. A body chained to a dog crate thrown into the river at its deepest point would work nicely. It will not float to the top and will naturally be "taken away".

Those are two big hurdles once you have them cleared. Your less likely to be caught.

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john-tym

Geez! I know we're supposed to have coffee last week. But I didnt think you'd be this upset!

Jon Oso

I know exactly how but I am sure as fuck not going to be posting this on a public forum.

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brassmonkey

a fishing trip 500 miles from shore

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digitaldivas

...what Jon said

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SleazyDream

I would think the main hurdles are allyby, witnesses, motive, location, crime scene and evidence disposal. Trusting someone else to do itfor u is a risk in itself

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This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

Now read without the word dog.

SilentKnight

Step One - buy a white Ford Bronco.

Step Two - hire Alan Dershowitz to represent you after the deed is done.

Grapesoda

first thing I would do is blab all over an Internet message forum... you?

collegeboobies

well you'd have to be able to lie to the cops and not get an adrenaline reaction bad enough to clue them in

Jon Oso

Why bother disposing of a body that way? Modern day forensics will be able to tell you exactly how a person died no matter what you do with it when they find it, and they will eventually find it.

A sure-fire way to dispose of a body is to ensure that any bits or peices they find are entirely unidentifiable. Lime, a good motorized saw (or a wood chipper type device) and cement are the best options. Chop that fucker up nice and fine, mix with lime powder or anything that will eat away at just about everything, strain/drain/dry, and mix up the remains with a nice amount of cement. Then you can drop that anywhere, bury it in the desert, ocean, lake, river whatever. It will never come to the surface and as they are trying to remove bits and peices of body from the block of concrete (if they even realize there's a body in there) they will fuck up any sort of evidence they once had, rendering it useless.

That of course is a long, involved, and extremely loud process. There are easier ways -


But those are best discussed over brunch.

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TheLegacy

Well if you plan on doing it yourself

1) make it look like suicide, (check medical dictionaries)
2) DNA - make sure that you are covered completely so none of your DNA is present
3) Location Location Location - pick a spot away from police like small town, forest etc
4) DO NOT hide the crime, but hide the connection to the crime
5) Gun - make sure no powder etc is on you but mostly find the bullet
6) Alibi - is essential, book hotel with no camera's out of town etc.
7) Media - avoid watching media etc since cops try mental games to get you to admit
8) Don't google etc - cops will look at your computer to check shit like that out
9) Keep your relationship positive, cops love motives - don't give them one
10) If all else fails, inject air into their veins and this will stop the heart
11) Insulin in veins will do the same thing, over 1200 units
12) Brush up on your forensic skills - murderers learned a great deal from CSI
13) As little clean up as possible

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iTouch!

use an icecicle

BV

Befriend a serial killer in a state that has the death penalty.

Turn him in to police.

Then get a job as an executioner at the prison where he will serve on death row.

bronco67

I can't even believe you typed that into the internet. Some red flags are popping up somewhere in a law enforcement office.

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Spunky

Probably hire a professional and have a solid alibi

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cam_girls

find a bikie
pay $10K
drive by shooting
done

cam_girls

Check a rifle magazine for the classifieds and people offer their services. Don't meet him face to face though.

96ukssob

step 1) buy 2 large tigers or lions
step 2) starve 2 large tigers or lions for about 2 days
step 3) poke tigers or lions with stick until agitated, then poke some more
step 4) offer 2 large tigers or lions as gift
step 5) run very fast

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Deej

Is it absolutely necessary to commit the act yourself?

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CrkMStanz

be very careful at this point in the strategy

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Doug E

It's all about disposal of the body. No body no murder. Unless you leave a fucking head lying around, then I'm sure even the dumbest of juries has enough deductive logic to incarcerate your ass.

For more good tips just google them, or post about it on a public forum ahead of your planned murder. Afterwards be sure to share your advice online with other would be criminal masterminds.

Spunky

Feed him to the pigs or pay off a crematorium

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cam_girls

My brother did a forensics course and if you're doing it yourself this is how.

Wait till the beginning of summer.
Tell him you have a couple marijuana plants in the bush and ask does he want to come for a drive, or some other excuse.
Shoot him a few times when you get there.
Take off his clothes.
Smash his teeth out and keep them.
Leave him there, no need to add honey or anything to get ants onto him.
Dispose of gun, clothes and teeth.
Come back 3 months later, nothing decomposes like the hot sun.
Bury the skeleton.

Sinking in a ocean is not so good as bodies keep forever in salt water.

Fucksakes

I would never kill anyone.. but If I ever felt the need to... getting away with it would be the last thing I would worry about.

If I did get away with such a crime It would haunt me for the rest of my life.

papagmp

Just be patient - everyone dies someday.

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Libertine

Step 1: buy the person a pizza and a few beers.
Step 2: repeat step 1 a few hundred times.
Step 3: cackle maniacally as he eventually dies from a heart attack.

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Joshua G

do what the DC sniper did. Kill an assload of civilians & terrorize a region to cover up a hit on a loved one.

420

Create a new gfy nick and post pics of the crime scene. That should keep the coppers guessing see.

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SilentKnight

Try again

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Baltovich

Elizabeth Bain's body was never found.

JFK

excellent idea, fool proof I'd say

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SteveLightspeed

take them boating

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GAMEFINEST

fuck that....

not worth the time..or trhe effort

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Compound interest.

Nicky

+ alcohol, accidents happen so easily. With only the 2 of you and no proven motive you should go free.

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Fucksakes

want to go boating? bring jordan.

j/k

hypedough

Watch the First 48 and then go ahead and make your plans.

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debbieN

Watch the complete Dexter Showtime series a few times.

If you really know the person then you will know his enemies, frame one of them.

1. watch the following on body decomp (if you want him/her to vanish): http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...perfect+murder
2. learn how to pick locks, so you can leave evidence in your marks house or apartment
3. learn both your victim and marks habits and routines, pick the right time when the mark will have no alibi
4. Kill your victim at his home around 4am, leather pouch full of ball bearings to the head while sleeping, then a hypo full of over the counter poison or just a slip knot zip cord around the neck
5. bury at night at one of your marks relatives back yards or farm would be best.

problems, if both or either mark or victim sleeps with someone every night.

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SleazyDream

The homicide cops I met couldn't find their way out of a dark room

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This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

Now read without the word dog.

jollyperv

With kindness

debbieN

I always liked the disposing of the body in a construction site clean up bag and then buried in an open grave prior to the next days ceremonies.

you can always visit them in the years to come and dance on their grave.

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PornMD

Mainstream doesn't think badly enough of this industry as it is - so why not discuss the best ways to murder someone and get away with it?!

Read OJ's book, I'm sure he puts some insights in there, seeing as how he probably wrote it from experience.

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San

stage a robbery or car jacking

jdog24

1. Tranquilize/drug the individual so they are unconscious.
2. Take the body to a secure location where no one can trace you back to. (woods as mentioned earlier).
3. Use a knife to do the killing. Much easier to dispose of and not as easily traced as a gun.
4. Dispose of the body in acid or cut it into separate pieces, each in its own bag.
5. Go far offshore and dump the remains into a large body of water.

Doug E

Yea theres been a few cases like that, but without a lot of circumstantial evidence aka 'a fucking head' or 'a large bloodstain in the back seat' it's still pretty difficult to prosecute without a confession. There's a lot of guys on missing persons lists you can bet went the way of Jimmy Hoffa.

A better way is as some dudes have already mentioned, do the 'take him on a hunting trip and Dick Cheney his ass' method. Less left to chance as there's no evidence to clean up, you leave it all there and pass it off as a tragic mistake. If you've got thick skin and can handle the constant speculation that follows you the rest of your life that's the way to go. Having typed that I better never go hunting, if some drunk idiot gets shot it's on me.

All comments said for entertainment purposes with the assumption the OP is not dumb enough to actually commit a murder he wishes to get away with by methods garnered from his public forum posting.

mikeyddddd

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wootpr0n

Well, like the idiot that you are, you decided to post this on a forum.

If you are planning to kill a family member, then you will become a person of interest, and that means that the police will see this thread and you will be a pretty good suspect.

Assuming that you follow my instructions to the letter, this still won't be enough to get you convicted.

So there are 2 important steps. (1) Killing the person, and (2) Getting rid of the body.

Killing the person is very easy. You need to use poison. Put it in the food or drink or whatever. But don't purchase the poison, because then your face will be in the security cameras at Home Depot and your debit card will leave a paper trail. So get some poison from the garage.

Which brings me to the next point. If you are killing someone who lives with you, then you want to poison them at home. But you don't want anybody else to be there, or to be expecting them. So if you are planning to kill your wife, and she works Monday to Friday, then you should kill her on Friday night. This way, you have the whole weekend to dispose of the body. If you killed her on Monday night, then her work will be wondering where the hell she is on Tuesday morning. And you would have been expected to file a missing persons report by then, but you are still disposing of the body.

If you kill her on Friday night, you can dispose of the body on Saturday, and tell the police that she disappeared on Sunday. So when she doesn't show up to work on Monday, your story checks out and the body is gone.

Now, if you are planning to kill your friend, that is a bit more difficult. You can't do it at your house, because he will drive over to your house. So he will be dead, and his car will be on your driveway. And if you drive it away and ditch it, people will see you. And you can't pick him up from his house either, because people will see you.

So this is a bit more work finding a location. The key point is that you need a place where nobody will see you. So his house might work if you go there walking, or park your car far away, and nobody else is home for a while. So that would be hard to determine. Maybe if his wife went on a trip for a few days, that would work.

Your best bet is anti-freeze or methanol. Both work very well, and you can add it to his beer or dinner or whatever. You only need a little. Don't use a syringe because then you have to get rid of his syringe.

Now we get into another important issue. If you are killing your wife, then you have to get rid of the body. Otherwise, the murder investigation will find out that she was poisoned, and you were the only one near her. But if you are killing your friend, you could put the poison in his beer or in his insulin or in his medication. Then he won't die for a few more days, and nobody will know that it was you. This gives you the benefit of not needing to get rid of the body.

It has to be something that only he eats, drinks, uses etc.. So if he shares his beer, then that is not a good idea.

So either way, you can't kill with stabbing or shooting or whatever. That puts blood stains everywhere. And you can't clean the bloodstain. If you do, you will have bloody paper towels, and they go to the garbage. If the police haven't gone through your garbage, you will leave iron residue (from the blood) all over the carpet and the floor. The police can see this. And the neighbors will hear the screams.

So lets say that you have a body and need to get rid of it. Some idiots here have said to put it into a wood chipper or slice it up. That creates blood and mess and it leaves DNA behind. And you have to get the body to the wood chipper.

So what you need to do is take the body to the basement and put it in a giant plastic container. Then fill this container with acid. The body will dissolve, and then you will take the resulting liquid and pour it down the sewer drain in your basement (assuming that your basement is unfinished). Otherwise, you can pour it down the toilet. In order to not make a mess, you need to scoop out the liquid with a smaller container (make sure to wear rubber gloves).

Now the real question is what container do you use and what kind of acid? Well, it depends on what you have around the house. Actually, I should say that you need to use a base. Sodium Hydroxide is the best, also known as lye.

You need to make sure that you have good ventilation. Otherwise you will generate a build-up of toxic fumes.

Ideally you want to get the lye solid and then mix it with water. But most importantly, you want to add a little bit of lye and a little bit of water to the plastic container, and then wait. Then repeat the process. The reason for this is because it produces a lot of heat and you do not want to melt the container.

You want to buy the lye and the container at least a month before the killing, so that there is no trace. Pay cash, and if necessary, purchase a little bit of lye from different locations. Lowes sells Drain Cleaner that is 100% lye and you can get a 2lb bag. Make sure that it is 100%. Then you want to take it home and empty the bag into a different bag (making sure that it is air tight). Hide it in a cool place. Now you will take the original bag that the lye came in and dump it in a garbage bin behind a drive thru or something.

So after a month, you have all of this lye, and no bag that you have to throw out.

You want to get a polypropylene container. You can tell because it has a number 5 on the bottom of the container. You do not want to get any other type of plastic because they are not as resistant to the lye.

Once you are done, you need to wash the container very very well and put it in your garage. Get it a little dusty and fill it with junk so that nobody notices it. And take your gloves and cut them up and flush them down the toilet. Now that it is in the drain system, nobody will ever know what happened.

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