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Can I get some help proofing this grammer? Can I get some help proofing this grammer?
Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed.

 
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Old 05-28-2008, 08:58 AM   #1
DeadFidel
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Can I get some help proofing this grammer?
Thanks.

www.lionita.com
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Old 05-28-2008, 09:02 AM   #2
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I get paid for that kind of work, and it's grammAr but I will say you have a lot of errors. It really needs to be re-written. I'm sure someone will come along to help you.
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Old 05-28-2008, 09:04 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeadFidel View Post
It is not incorrect grammatically that I can see, but reads a little stilted, imho.

I personally would leave this sentence out all together:

"Her strange ability has been documented and will be published soon."

I assume the writer was trying to convey her ability to make you fall in love, etc, but strange ability can cover a lot of things, and some of them not good. ;)
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Old 05-28-2008, 09:15 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by selena View Post
It is not incorrect grammatically that I can see, but reads a little stilted, imho.

I personally would leave this sentence out all together:

"Her strange ability has been documented and will be published soon."

I assume the writer was trying to convey her ability to make you fall in love, etc, but strange ability can cover a lot of things, and some of them not good. ;)
How about The Witch Doctors Doughter, it'a a true story and it is real and strange.

Thanks for the feedback...

Oh ...and the dude that corrected my typo
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Old 05-28-2008, 09:19 AM   #5
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spelling errors and typos are 2 different things, and I wasn't trying to be a dick.. well, maybe I was back at ya
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Old 05-28-2008, 09:23 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by DeadFidel View Post
How about The Witch Doctors Doughter, it'a a true story and it is real and strange.

Thanks for the feedback...

Oh ...and the dude that corrected my typo
Welcome, and see your icq.
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Old 05-28-2008, 09:27 AM   #7
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I think this sounds better

When I met her, she was around 18 years of age. She has the heart of a saint and is just so beautifully cute. Because of her story (which we will release sometime
in the future) this site only features R Rated video clips. Yes she is nude,
a lot, but there is no sex or sleazy spread shoots. You can tell what I mean
by watching the FREE 1minute video below. You will just fall in love, and I mean literally. Her strange ability has been documented and will be published soon.
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Old 05-28-2008, 09:40 AM   #8
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Did you mean grammar?
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Old 05-28-2008, 10:00 AM   #9
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Did you mean grammar?
gezzz..Thinking deep there bro, thanks for the chance to bump.
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Old 05-28-2008, 10:00 AM   #10
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double post..sorry
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Old 05-28-2008, 10:11 AM   #11
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gezzz..Thinking deep there bro, thanks for the chance to bump.


Shit, quoted my own damn post. I meant to quote yours so I edited.
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