Are Men getting STIFFED by CHILD SUPPORT LAWS? - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

pink_in_the_middle · 10-14-2002, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by untitled

a one night stand isn't a relationship and if a woman thinks fucking a stranger is the beginning of a relationship then she's stupid.

I meant that maybe you shouldn't have one night stands. Their too dangerous.Why risk it for what... sex? Oh please , use your hand. Atleast you know you won't get it pregnant or get any std's.

PornoDoggy · 10-14-2002, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by thatdykeliz
What magical wonderland are y'all living in where child support payments actually get PAID?

No ... bad women collect countless dollars that poor defenseless men pay out. Haven't you read this thread? Men good ... women bad.

thatdykeliz · 10-14-2002, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

You tell'em sista! lol Good for you
If the bastard can't pay don't ever let him see his kid!

Heh -- that hasn't ever been a problem!

The asshole has seen her once in the last two years, and that was because he had a new 19 y.o. dumber-than-shit girlfriend, and he wanted to impress the bitch with how good of a daddy he was.

Not only does he not pay CS for or visit his daughter by me, he got married (and divorced again, ha!) after he was divorced from me, and he has a daughter by that poor woman, too, who he doesn't pay CS for or visit. Last I heard, his ass was flippin burgers at McDonalds.

thatdykeliz · 10-14-2002, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PornoDoggy

No ... bad women collect countless dollars that poor defenseless men pay out. Haven't you read this thread? Men good ... women bad.

Oh, yeah -- that wonderland. The one where misogynistic assholes who think their dick entitles them to King of All Shit status all apparently live. On second thought, I'm glad I don't live there...

salsbury · 10-14-2002, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pr0
wear a condom & never marry

indeed. also, get sterilized & don't sleep with/date single moms, EVER.

this is the kind of stuff that should be taught in junior/high school sex ed. teach them that chances are they will get divorced, and when they do, if they're a guy, 90%+ chance they will lose their kid too, and have to fork over money which will be spent on whatever the mother wants (no accountability) - and there's not a damn thing the men can do about it.

i'd like to see the abstinance numbers after this sex ed!

pink_in_the_middle · 10-14-2002, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by salsbury

indeed. also, get sterilized & don't sleep with/date single moms, EVER.

this is the kind of stuff that should be taught in junior/high school sex ed. teach them that chances are they will get divorced, and when they do, if they're a guy, 90%+ chance they will lose their kid too, and have to fork over money which will be spent on whatever the mother wants (no accountability) - and there's not a damn thing the men can do about it.

i'd like to see the abstinance numbers after this sex ed!

why shouldn't men date single moms?

salsbury · 10-14-2002, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

why shouldn't men date single moms?

did you read the thread?

eroswebmaster · 10-14-2002, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RockDaddy

So far as the expences go, I'm not talking about paying 1/2 of all of your bills. Child or no child, you still need elect, etc.. how much elect. do you think an 8 yr old uses anyway.

You're just a dipshit...you only want it convenient for yourself.

eroswebmaster · 10-14-2002, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

typical.... it's always our fault isn't it.

There are two people making the decision to have sex...but it is your fault if you decide to do this knowing full well that neither party is using birth control.

This is of course barring any unfortunate turns of events like you are the lucky guy with the faulty condom ;)

You fuck a chick get her pregnant...then man up.

Not saying you haven't...just speaking to the gen pop.

salsbury · 10-14-2002, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle
That women who has a baby without a father (because of whatever reasons) will find a man if she wants to. And when that man comes along and loves her and her child he will not care if he has to pay child suppost even if it's not his child.

you're missing the point... the point here is that the man wasn't even married to the woman - why wouldn't he marry her if he wanted to take care of her and the child? obviously, he didn't want to.

he's the price for dating a single mom.

kids, avoid single moms.

salsbury · 10-14-2002, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by eroswebmaster
There are two people making the decision to have sex...but it is your fault if you decide to do this knowing full well that neither party is using birth control.

of course, this is not entirely true. it is your fault and her fault - she can use birth control, too - much better birth control in fact! plus, she can choose to have an abortion. the guy has very limited options here.

"man up" - haha. boy. the "women are equal to men" argument takes a hit!

salsbury · 10-14-2002, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by thatdykeliz
And I've continued to get nothing -- but it doesn't make any difference now anyway. I make a good living, I'm off all gov't assistance (have been for 6 years now) and my child's needs are taken care of, my rent is paid on time, and I don't need his piddly $130 a month.

right on. it's nice (and extremely rare) to see women take responsibility for their lives like this! sincerely, two thumbs up.

RockDaddy · 10-14-2002, 11:57 PM

Quote:

You're just a dipshit...you only want it convenient for yourself.

Did you even read any of this thread before posting? You are either, illiterate, have the reading and comprehension skills of a seven yr old child or you need to cut back on your estrogen injections.

Condensed version for the learning impaired like my friend Eroswebmaster.

1. There is a difference between supporting a child and providing a free meal ticket to cheating ex spouses (male or female)

2. I am not saying that the child should not be provided for, just that the current "blanket", "no fault divorce", "one size fits all" child support decrees are outdated, and that there are numerous variable that should be considered.

3. They system need reevaluated and reformed.

4. If you don't believe that there are women out there right this minute looking for a military man, career man, etc.. to get them pregnant so that they can receive child support and not have to work then you have obviously lived a very lonely and sheltered life.

For the women and men here raising their children with NO support from their ex spouses, I am sorry. That really sucks that they won't meet their legal and MORAL responsibilites.

Hey Eroswebmaster, did you catch the VERY FIRST POST where you can be made to support a child even if you are not the biological father???

You really should...

A. Start over and read very slowly (saying the words out loud may help)

B. Skip this thread altogether and find one where intelligence is not required.

RD

pink_in_the_middle · 10-15-2002, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by salsbury

did you read the thread?

yes i did. maybe i'm missing something so please explane.

pink_in_the_middle · 10-15-2002, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by salsbury

right on. it's nice (and extremely rare) to see women take responsibility for their lives like this! sincerely, two thumbs up.

you sound like such a dip shit you know that? She along with many other single mothers out there are making their way in this world with a child that she and him made with no help from him.
You're talking about responsibility that she's taking? WTF about his responsibility? Wise up buddy or you'll only end up with a woman as stupid as you.

pink_in_the_middle · 10-15-2002, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RockDaddy

Did you even read any of this thread before posting? You are either, illiterate, have the reading and comprehension skills of a seven yr old child or you need to cut back on your estrogen injections.

Condensed version for the learning impaired like my friend Eroswebmaster.

1. There is a difference between supporting a child and providing a free meal ticket to cheating ex spouses (male or female)

2. I am not saying that the child should not be provided for, just that the current "blanket", "no fault divorce", "one size fits all" child support decrees are outdated, and that there are numerous variable that should be considered.

3. They system need reevaluated and reformed.

4. If you don't believe that there are women out there right this minute looking for a military man, career man, etc.. to get them pregnant so that they can receive child support and not have to work then you have obviously lived a very lonely and sheltered life.

For the women and men here raising their children with NO support from their ex spouses, I am sorry. That really sucks that they won't meet their legal and MORAL responsibilites.

Hey Eroswebmaster, did you catch the VERY FIRST POST where you can be made to support a child even if you are not the biological father???

You really should...

A. Start over and read very slowly (saying the words out loud may help)

B. Skip this thread altogether and find one where intelligence is not required.

RD

I think if you've been with the mother and her kid (s) for a lengthy period of time then yes you should pay child support. You are now that childs daddy.After yrs or a yr. of raising that child do you really think that you're not obligated to pay support?

untitled · 10-15-2002, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

why shouldn't men date single moms?

Because if we got one pregnant chances are she's keeping it.

Abortion is good, not only is our earth overpopulated but if you have the kid, it'll just end up wishing it was never born because of psychological problems associated with not having a father and a bitter mother who hates men.

One day the greatest man will come along and do everything right but that won't matter because women are attracted to jerks and single moms prove it.

Ted · 10-15-2002, 01:00 AM

Australia is just as fucked up, I'm not saying that men shouldn't have to pay child support but the system is weighted in favour of the woman in most cases

My accountant has joint custody of his kids but still pays in excess of 30% of his pre-tax income to his ex even though he has custody more than 45% of the time.
Every time I see his kids they are dressed in rags (otherwise they are very happy well adjusted kids) because the ex is planning on spending the next 13 years paying off her mortgage and building herself a nest egg.

pink_in_the_middle · 10-15-2002, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by untitled

Because if we got one pregnant chances are she's keeping it.

Abortion is good, not only is our earth overpopulated but if you have the kid, it'll just end up wishing it was never born because of psychological problems associated with not having a father and a bitter mother who hates men.

One day the greatest man will come along and do everything right but that won't matter because women are attracted to jerks and single moms prove it.

get real. i don't know who you're talking about or what u think u know but you're deffinatly not speaking for all single moms i hope.

yeah our earth is over populate so lets kill all babies? fuck off dickhead.
what problems? not all single mothers have resentment towards their ex. sounds like you're bitter buddy.we can do just fine without your petty money and your two cents worth.

not all kids without a father wish they weren't born (maybe u do thats why u think all kids do)????
chances are this single mother will be smart and teach her child well and a great man will come along one day and take on another stupid mans responsibility. good for him! he's the one who can take that on and it's someone like you that wouldn't be able to handle that!

kelly · 10-15-2002, 01:48 AM

Reading through this thread I'm glad that I'm still good friends with my ex and we've never had to get the courts or child support agency involved! He pays me no alimony or child support but if I need something I know he'll happily let me have the money for it (luckily this isn't often). He see's our son several times a week and has him stay over Saturday night, in fact he see's him more now than when we were together. When I became pregnant it was with the knowledge that if anything happened to the childs father I could support myself in some way while still bringing up my son myself and not sending him off to day care or a child minder.

My ex will be here in an hour or so to take me grocery shopping and in return for him driving me to the city I'll buy him lunch!

Ted · 10-15-2002, 03:25 AM

Your lucky to be in such an amicable situation Kelly

unfortunately situations like yours are not the norm.

eroswebmaster · 10-15-2002, 03:43 AM

No Rockdaddy you are the one missing the big picture.

There is much more involved in taking care of a child than just food...and some school clothes.

The lady brought up a very valid point...and that is if you want everyone to pay half..then pay FUCKING HALF.

If the kid lived with you then you'd be PAYING IT ALL.

Half involves dentist visits...doctor visits...meds....
vitamins...tampons...what the fuck ever.

If the kid wants to go to summer school...then pay fucking half.

If the kid wants his/her sophomore annual...then pay fucking half.

Own up...

And dipshit...lay off the rock...maybe your kids might get better taken care of and daddy wouldn't have to make excuses.

I don't need to read this fucking thread...even though I did.

I've been cleaning up my brother in laws problems for going on 10 years now.

In fact...his "problems" are on their way to Vegas right now to live with me yet once again.

I've been raising his children on and off for 10 fucking years now...and in that time the man has paid squat...in fact he owes well over $30K in back child support.

Is he in jail? Hell no...but should be.

And edited to add: You ain't got shit on me...don't start talking out your ass about divorces and child support etc.

I've seen it all since 19 fucking 76.

I've been in family court more times than some people have been in church.

Juge · 10-15-2002, 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pimplink
OMG. You break your back to make $150k a year [sounds like moderate webmaster] and only keep $300 a month? WTF. Sounds like an incentive to STOP working. DAMN.
BVF posted about something like this earlier.

No, don't stop working. Prepare for the worst. Sign a prenuptial agreement. It may not save you from the courts thinking you're a deadbeat dad, but it will save you the $3 - $4k/mo of alimony.

RockDaddy · 10-15-2002, 06:12 AM

[/QUOTE]Half involves dentist visits...doctor visits...meds....
vitamins...tampons...what the fuck ever.[/QUOTE]

Eroswebmaster, sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder regarding your brother in law and your "sisters?" kids.

That's nice of you to help but what is wrong with your sister that in ten years she has not been capable of taking actions in her life to further her earning potentials? Is she lazy, stupid or what?

You make it seem like your poor sweet and innocent sister was the "victim" in a "hit and run fucking" and she did not even get the license plate.

Should her ex have to pay 1/2 of the childs needs, yes. Should he have to pay 1/2 of your sisters needs, no.

"And dipshit, lay of the rock"?, oh, rock = rockdaddy. I get it. You are really reaching now though. I think you've hit the bottom on this one.

RockDaddy · 10-15-2002, 06:19 AM

Ok, probably my last post on this one.

There are too many different scenarios and each one should be looked at individually before passing blame.

The girl that gets knocked up in the bathroom at a nightclub after a few drinks

is different than

The woman who stays at home, works three jobs and takes care of the kids while her husband goes to law school, lands a great job and runs off with the secretary.

is different than

The wife that is doing daily gangbangs at The Wetlands.

and so on,

AND.. you hear over and over, "it's not the kids fault", "they didn't do anything wrong" etc.. but in the next sentence the same people are screaming "Don't let them see the kids if they don't pay" wtf, Well, I got news for you, that is taking it out on the kids, punishing them to try and hurt your ex, you are probably hurting your child more than your ex anyway.

Anyway.... everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I wish everyone the best.

Later,
RD

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by thefreakybeaver
I don't agree with the law in the first post either. I do know that my sister left her hubby but they are still married. She then moved in with and got pregnant by her bf in NC.

When the hospital found out she was legally married, they wouldn't let her put the bf name on the birth certificate. She HAD to put hubbys name. The hubby doesn't pay any support for his 3 biological kids so this new child means no more to him at this time. I however think Paternity tests should be allowed to clear that matter up so the REAL father will be on the birth certificate. I don't think anyone man or woman should be paying for a child that is not biologically theirs, unless there was a CLOSE bond where the child percieves that person as their parent and vice versa.

I however am a mom with sole custody not receiving support consistently. I just went to court and the father has to pay $41/week for 2 kids. Now you tell me that this is enough??

I agree with PK on the debit idea, but the main focus of child support is so that the child/children live the same as they did before the separation, etc. It is so the kids enjoy the same type of lifestyle and to also lessen the blow of the separation itself. It's to prevent a non working mom and her kids from living in a home to living in the car because the parents split up etc.

Okay let's say it should be 50/50. After reading the below costs of raising a child, how many of you would want to pay 50% of EVERYTHING it takes to raise these kids?

You may be surprised that most noncustodial parents don't even come close to paying 50% of how the child was USED to living when the relationship was intact or even living a normal low class or middle class life.

I'm going to go crazy on expenses here to try to prove a point that it is MUCH more expensive to raise children than most imply here. Not a flame or an argument, just some food for thought.

Add up 50% of
Mortgage/Rent
electric bill
car insurance
HEATING and/or Air Conditioning bill
School Clothing
Winter Clothing
Spring Clothing
Fall Clothing
rubbish removal (no public removal here)
Just grew out of everything in the last week Clothing
excise tax
water bill
over the counter meds for colds, etc
sewer bill
Gas for car
Tooth Fairy
Santa Clause
Easter Bunny
Valentine cards for school
house tax
road tax
Sports/extracurricular activities cost and supplies cost
house insurance
field trips
electricity
school photos
school lunches
3 meals day plus snacks
Food for friends who hang out
Dental/Medical Bills
presents for friend's bday parties
everyday toys, activity supplies to enhance their minds
diapers
formula
supplies (stoller, crib, etc.)
laundry soap
dish detergent
cleaning supplies

I could come up with more but I'll stop here LOL

I realize some of the above would not apply to some depending on where they live and some may merge with others, age of kids, etc, but I think you get the idea.

Do you still want the law to change to 50% of everything it costs to raise a child? Being the custodial parent, I would vote for a new law like this in a second!!!!!!!

Boohoo, wanna have a cry about it? How often does he get to see them? $41/week is a LOT of money. Would you rather only have to pay $41/week or getting to see the children you love every day?

Work for your damn money and support you and your children's expenses yourself. Stop sulking about $41/month not being enough.

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

Number 1...if a man doesn't want to have or keep a baby then he shouldn't be sticking his dick in or near a vagina!When he decided to stick his dick in her he decided to take that chance "what incase" she gets pregnant. Once you've stuck your dick in her its not up to you or her anymore to decide whats going to happen (it's up to nature).If you don't want to pay child suppost think about what you're doing before...think long and hard! (no pun intended)

You're right,women have the last say in what they do with their unborn child but if you didn't want a baby then think before you act.A moment of passion can lead to many many yrs. of responsibility.

I personally don't believe in abortion.Why?
Well because me and him either had sex unprotected,planned it or the b.c didn't work.
It's not the unborn child's fault,he/she didn't ask to be brought into this world. And do you know how many women/men can't have kids?
Why kill a child because of something you did? Because you don't want to take responsibility for something you did?

So many ppl can't have kids why not give him/her up for adoption? Let soemojne else care for your baby and give that child a chance at life.

If I was raped then I would have the baby and give him/her up for adoption. Wpme listen to their man if he wants to kill it and I totally think their fucking stupid !!!

I have three kids.My 1st one was planned,second was not (but we didn't use anything to prevent it) and the third one we deffinatly didn't want (used precautions if once in a while). Hell I would never give any of them up for the universe.

If you're ever in a postion where you don't know what to do THINK LONG AND HARD and do alot of research on having it,abortion and adoption.

I just don't understand the concept of having an abortion? They would rather kill their child then let someone else take care of it !!? Does that make any sence?
I think that sometimes when a girl is deciding or has had an abortion she's too wrapped up in what her family,friends etc will think of her if she actually has the baby. Thats extremly selfish in my opinion.

Have a look on abortion tv and tell me that you would do this to your baby.

Sorry for going on about this I just feel EXTREMLY strongly on this subject.

Err stop going to the feminist meetings and open your god damn eyes. Why is it SOLELY the man who has to "think before he sticks his dick in?" Uhm... did it ever occur to you that women should be thinking about it as well?

What about the women who pop wholes in a god damn condom just so they can have a baby?

You make out as if it's entirely on the man's shoulders if the girl gets pregnant. If a girl get's pregnant, she still has the choice to not have that baby. So it's fine for the girl to think "oh ok, it's ok for me to have sex because I can have the choice in the end, sucks to be the guy" and the guy has to decide before he sticks his dick in whether or not he wants to do it because he ultimately has no decision about the baby? Open your fucking eyes.

The law is basically discriminating against men who wish to have sex. They have to think before participating in sex in case the girl gets pregnant AND THEN THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT. Whereas a girl can have sex and then decide later about the baby. That is... D I S C R I M I N A T I O N.

And you're fucking support that ideal? Realise that men should have the choice on whether or not to have a baby if pregnancy occurs. If the girl DOESN'T want to have an abortion or give the child up for adoption - SO BE IT! But then she gets NO child support from the guy.

You're stupid if you think it should be any other way.

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

Number 1...if a man doesn't want to have or keep a baby then he shouldn't be sticking his dick in or near a vagina!When he decided to stick his dick in her he decided to take that chance "what incase" she gets pregnant. Once you've stuck your dick in her its not up to you or her anymore to decide whats going to happen (it's up to nature).If you don't want to pay child suppost think about what you're doing before...think long and hard! (no pun intended)

You're right,women have the last say in what they do with their unborn child but if you didn't want a baby then think before you act.A moment of passion can lead to many many yrs. of responsibility.

I personally don't believe in abortion.Why?
Well because me and him either had sex unprotected,planned it or the b.c didn't work.
It's not the unborn child's fault,he/she didn't ask to be brought into this world. And do you know how many women/men can't have kids?
Why kill a child because of something you did? Because you don't want to take responsibility for something you did?

So many ppl can't have kids why not give him/her up for adoption? Let soemojne else care for your baby and give that child a chance at life.

If I was raped then I would have the baby and give him/her up for adoption. Wpme listen to their man if he wants to kill it and I totally think their fucking stupid !!!

I have three kids.My 1st one was planned,second was not (but we didn't use anything to prevent it) and the third one we deffinatly didn't want (used precautions if once in a while). Hell I would never give any of them up for the universe.

If you're ever in a postion where you don't know what to do THINK LONG AND HARD and do alot of research on having it,abortion and adoption.

I just don't understand the concept of having an abortion? They would rather kill their child then let someone else take care of it !!? Does that make any sence?
I think that sometimes when a girl is deciding or has had an abortion she's too wrapped up in what her family,friends etc will think of her if she actually has the baby. Thats extremly selfish in my opinion.

Have a look on abortion tv and tell me that you would do this to your baby.

Sorry for going on about this I just feel EXTREMLY strongly on this subject.

P.S.

Here's another flaw in your pathetic argument.

WHEN DO YOU DECIDE WHEN A FETUS BECOMES A CHILD OR NOT?!

Are all eggs living things? Is it when the egg becomes fertilized? Is it a day after pegnancy? A week? A month? How can you ever speculate on when a fetus ceases to be that, and becomes a living thing? In short, you can't.

By your argument, every time you menstruate, you're killing millions of lives, YOU MURDERER YOU! HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT!

You're not killing a child, you're merely ending an unwanted pregnancy.

And to even more issues - did you ever think about how it would be like to bring this child into the world unwanted? Putting a child up for adoption isn't like auctioning your house. It's not an easy life for the child AT ALL in so many cases.

Abortion is fine, it is not murder.

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

How is that selfish? It's only selfish if you're using that child to get the father back. It's selfich is you think it's wrong to bring a baby into the world without a father.So what kill all the babies that don't have daddys? HELL WTF ARE YOU THINKING?????

Women have been know to be able to care for themselves and their child without any assistance from any man. We can make it in this world by ourselves. That women who has a baby without a father (because of whatever reasons) will find a man if she wants to. And when that man comes along and loves her and her child he will not care if he has to pay child suppost even if it's not his child.

He will become the daddy. Any man that is willing to take responsibility over another mans "unwanted child" has my utmost respect.

We're talking about the law here, we're not talking about when this man suddenly becomes the father because he hangs around for a little while.

HE IS NOT THE FATHER! He has no obligation to pay for this child. Unless he WILLINGLY wishes to support this child, he SHOULD NOT HAVE TO because HE DID NOT HAVE THIS CHILD.

No matter what this says about his character, whether he's looked on as lacking compassion or what not, that is to do with his CHARACTER not the LAW. The law decides what you CAN and CAN'T do and what you are OBLIGED to do. He is not obliged to pay for this child, he should not have to.

Your opinions are sexist and they make me sick.

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

It's ppl like you that should be shot
Grow up!! If you don't want to have a relationship with the person you're with then maybe you should rethink if you should even be with them.

Not only is pregnancy and issue with one night stands there's also STD's. Why risk getting something for what? A fuck! Com'on ppl think

With the way the law is right now, one night stands are the way to go. If you have no say in whether or not a child is born, I'd much rather have casual sex with a total stranger and never have to worry about it anymore rather than having a horrible, stressful relationship with someone I really didn't want to know and waste my money on a kid I didn't want to have.

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by thatdykeliz
What magical wonderland are y'all living in where child support payments actually get PAID?

I got divorced from my 1st husband over eight years ago. (He left me, BTW -- I had an 18 month old child, jack shit to my name, bruises from my last beating, and nowhere to live, asshole kicked me out.) The court ruled that he owed me $130 a mo. in child support. A year later, after having received maybe $300 all told over the course of the last year, I took him to court, and they ruled to garnish his wages.

So he quits his job and goes to work in a friend's warehouse -- said friend agreed to pay him under the table so that "that bitch ex-wife" wouldn't get his money. Meanwhile, I'm on food stamps and welfare AND working to keep my baby fed. After that, he moved from minimum-wage job to minimum-wage job, and moving from town to town, keeping just ahead of the garnishment paperwork, so I got nothing.

And I've continued to get nothing -- but it doesn't make any difference now anyway. I make a good living, I'm off all gov't assistance (have been for 6 years now) and my child's needs are taken care of, my rent is paid on time, and I don't need his piddly $130 a month.

If you want to bitch about men getting shafted with unfair child support payments, thank fucksticks like my ex for being deadbeats and making the men who try to keep up with payments and take care of their responsibilities look bad.

So stop wasting your time chasing him up, get another job and support your family yourself. I know plenty of single mothers who don't receive child support payments and are surviving.

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

you sound like such a dip shit you know that? She along with many other single mothers out there are making their way in this world with a child that she and him made with no help from him.
You're talking about responsibility that she's taking? WTF about his responsibility? Wise up buddy or you'll only end up with a woman as stupid as you.

If she didn't want the god damn child because the father wasn't going to support him/her, THEN SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD AN ABORTION! OR SHE SHOULD HAVE PUT HIM/HER UP FOR ADOPTION!

It's on HER shoulders if she goes ahead with the baby without the support of the father. He is not obliged to ANYTHING.

How about this situation - the father wants the child, but the mother doesn't, so she has an abortion. Let's see hmm.. the father can't have the child and hold the woman responsible and get child support fees from her.

The way nature works has given women the NATURAL right to having a child, therefore the law should accommodate the rights of men and avoid discrimination by giving men a choice.

How can you be so naive and so discriminative?

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

I think if you've been with the mother and her kid (s) for a lengthy period of time then yes you should pay child support. You are now that childs daddy.After yrs or a yr. of raising that child do you really think that you're not obligated to pay support?

Yes I really think you're not obligated to pay support. The child is NOT yours, you did not impregnate the mother. And by your argument, when do we decide he's the child's father? Will we sit around in a fucking committee and decide? Hmm... how does 3 years sound? No no, more like 3 years 5 days. Yes, that's when the man becomes the child's father by definition.

You are calling other people on this board stupid. What age did you quit school? Because you have absolutely no clue about how the law works and how the law is designed. Ugh, this is just wrong that anyone could think like you do.

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

get real. i don't know who you're talking about or what u think u know but you're deffinatly not speaking for all single moms i hope.

yeah our earth is over populate so lets kill all babies? fuck off dickhead.
what problems? not all single mothers have resentment towards their ex. sounds like you're bitter buddy.we can do just fine without your petty money and your two cents worth.

not all kids without a father wish they weren't born (maybe u do thats why u think all kids do)????
chances are this single mother will be smart and teach her child well and a great man will come along one day and take on another stupid mans responsibility. good for him! he's the one who can take that on and it's someone like you that wouldn't be able to handle that!

That's topped it off. I've been posting replies to your "arguments" in an attempt to have a civil debate about this but this is too much.

You are obviously not intelligent enough to participate in this debate.

"but you're deffinatly not speaking for all single moms i hope"
Spell definitely. And he's so DEFINITELY not speaking for all single moms... you hope? He's either definitely not speaking for all single moms, or you hope he's not speaking for all single moms. He can't be definitely speaking for all single moms, you hope.

Did you ever consider that the man who doesn't want this child isn't an evil deadbeat monster who is doing it just because he has it in for the mother? No, didn't think so.

If you can do so fine without our "petty money" then why don't you shut the fuck up about child support payments and DO FINE without it? Because you're a feministic moron, that's why.

Then you resort to personal attacks on someone clearly trying to make a simple argument. Numerous times in fact.

I hope the men you meet realise how warped and revolting your opinions are before they get involved with you, for their sake.

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by eroswebmaster
No Rockdaddy you are the one missing the big picture.

There is much more involved in taking care of a child than just food...and some school clothes.

The lady brought up a very valid point...and that is if you want everyone to pay half..then pay FUCKING HALF.

If the kid lived with you then you'd be PAYING IT ALL.

Half involves dentist visits...doctor visits...meds....
vitamins...tampons...what the fuck ever.

If the kid wants to go to summer school...then pay fucking half.

If the kid wants his/her sophomore annual...then pay fucking half.

Own up...

And dipshit...lay off the rock...maybe your kids might get better taken care of and daddy wouldn't have to make excuses.

I don't need to read this fucking thread...even though I did.

I've been cleaning up my brother in laws problems for going on 10 years now.

In fact...his "problems" are on their way to Vegas right now to live with me yet once again.

I've been raising his children on and off for 10 fucking years now...and in that time the man has paid squat...in fact he owes well over $30K in back child support.

Is he in jail? Hell no...but should be.

And edited to add: You ain't got shit on me...don't start talking out your ass about divorces and child support etc.

I've seen it all since 19 fucking 76.

I've been in family court more times than some people have been in church.

Erm if the child was living with you you'd be paying IT ALL?! Why wouldn't the mother be paying half? Oh that's right, because our society is a fucked up, sexist, discriminative excuse for a what's meant to be the age of equality. Why the fuck are men so discriminated against in this area? More to the point, how can people be so blind that they can't see it IS discrimination?

kelly · 10-15-2002, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ted
Your lucky to be in such an amicable situation Kelly

unfortunately situations like yours are not the norm.

Very true, but I did ensure BEFORE I got pregnant that I was in a situation where I could provide for my child on my own without the support of my ex, anything that comes in from him would just be a bonus for my son.

RockDaddy · 10-15-2002, 08:07 AM

Quote:

I think if you've been with the mother and her kid (s) for a lengthy period of time then yes you should pay child support. You are now that childs daddy.After yrs or a yr. of raising that child do you really think that you're not obligated to pay support?

Not in one million years should I be ordered to pay support for a child that is not mine. How can you honestly feel like some guy who is not the father should have to pay you.

Why? Because he had a good heart and treated your kid well, spent his money on Christmas presents, birthday presents, bought clothes and food. Then when things don't work out you want to kick his teeth in and snatch his wallet?

I hope this message is being broadcast loud and clear for any of the younger guys here who have not made this mistake yet. If you be nice to a woman with children and help her with those children, she can make you pay dearly for your kindness and generosity.

[QUOTE]You are now that childs daddy[/QUOTE
Again, guys, this is a female perspective here. You should really be paying very close attention to what is being said here and it's implications. I am NOT your childs daddy, don't tell your child to call me daddy unless I make that decision and choose to ADAPT your child. If you spent more time dating and getting to know someone then you should have discussed this and know exactly where they stand on this issue. But NO, you will NOT tell them about this, move in one month after you meet them and then sue them for child support. That's just wrong!

If I had kids and we got together and then later things didn't work out, it never in a million years would have ever crossed my mind to sue you for child support. It would be my responsibility not yours.

Enchantress · 10-15-2002, 08:17 AM

Look, crappy things happen to both men and women. Unfairness isn't gender specific. In my situation, I was married to a man for 7 years, and we have a son together. He started using drugs so I left him. We divorced and he was ordered to pay 300 dollars a month for child support. He payed for about a year, then got fired for smoking crack at work, and hasn't paid me since (that was 4 years ago).
For me it isn't really about the money. My issue is that when I tried to halt visitation (after he was arrested for breaking down his girlfirends door with an axe) I was told that he has a constitutional right to see his son. His life is all about rights, and mine is about obligations. He has the right to pop into my son's life once a year and traumatize him emotionally. I have the obligation of picking up the pieces and dealing with my heartbroken child when his father forgets his birthday again. He has a right to blow all his money on crack and cigarettes, and I have the obligation of paying for my son's braces all by myself.
As far as dating a single mother, I'm biased, but I'm glad my new man took a chance on me. We have a beautiful son together and another on the way. He and my son from my first marriage have a really strong bond and my son now calls him Dad. What is unfair though is that even though my new husband does all the work of being a Dad, he can't claim my son on his taxes. He can support him all year long, but because there is no biology involved he can't claim the deduction, or get an earned income credit for him. My ex-husband on the other hand could claim him even though he hasn't paid a single cent in support. He doesn't because he hasn't had a "legal" job in at least 4 years, but it's not right that he has the option and the guy doing all the work doesn't.
I've heard horror stories from both sexes, but despite what people might think I don't think this is a gender issue. The system needs to be changed so that there is more fairness on both sides.

RockDaddy · 10-15-2002, 08:33 AM

Enchantress,

FYI, you should be able to have his parental rights terminated for non-payment of child support. Until that time you can refuse visitation, his only recourse is to file a "contempt of court" motion which it doesn't sound like he would have the resources or motivation to do.

Good luck,
RD

salsbury · 10-15-2002, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pink_in_the_middle

you sound like such a dip shit you know that? She along with many other single mothers out there are making their way in this world with a child that she and him made with no help from him.
You're talking about responsibility that she's taking? WTF about his responsibility? Wise up buddy or you'll only end up with a woman as stupid as you.

then what is the point of this discussion? if so many women are on their own taking care of the kids and doing well, what the hell? is that not good enough? sounds like you want blood!

how in the world can this man be responsible. he is not the biological father. where's the real father? if she found him, would she collect child support from both? probably in your world.

but then again, i am "stupid", so "stupid" i will "end up" with a woman as "stupid" as me. that'd be sooo "bad".

eroswebmaster · 10-15-2002, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dragon Curve

Erm if the child was living with you you'd be paying IT ALL?! Why wouldn't the mother be paying half?

She should be you worthless fuckwit.

But my point is, if you hadn't gotten seperated / divorced and the kid was still living with you you'd be responsible for such things as all the rent...all the utilities...all the food...all the clothing...all the over the counter meds...all the toys...all the gas to and from the soccer practices...all the fees associated with soccer practice....

you wouldn't just be responsible for paying a measely $50 a week...or hell even $100 a week.

Wenchy · 10-15-2002, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by UnseenWorld
CONCLUSION: As noted by Tom Leykis in his top-ranked radio show: Never date (and certainly never move in with!) an unmarried or divorced mother.

Well-intentioned legislators, agencies, and courts, who want to make sure that children get adequate financial support, are actually screwing things up majorly for unmarried/divorced women seeking new partners, since virtually any dating or sexual relationship withsuch a woman can make you responsible for her child(ren).

The result is that these women are now becoming pariahs.

On a tangent, I think that any woman who goes out and intentionally has a child without giving it a father should be taken out and shot!

I understand that people get divorced. Shit happens. However, to intentionally bring a child into the world without a father is selfish and self-indulgent. There is not law saying that every women HAS to have a child merely because she wants one.

(And yes, I was simply being hyperbolic with the "taken out and shot" remark.)

I read through this thread twice, and kept coming back to this post. I normally make it a point to stay out of emotionally-charged debates, but this one warrants stepping outside of my own rules for a moment.

Opinions are like assholes, pal. I'd be willing to bet that my son, whom I gave birth to because I CHOSE to and who has never and will never see his biological father or any of his damned money, is a lot more well adjusted and emotionally secure than any kid who's had to live through six months or more of fighting and bullshit before, during, and after a divorce! It was my CHOICE to have a child... I didn't need anyone's permission or approval to do so, and wouldn't have asked for it if I did. Don't assume that children "need" a father. In a lot of cases, I'd say they'd be a whole lot better off without one!

And I don't know what backwards state you live in, but where I come from it takes a helluva lot more than cohabitating with a single mother to become legally and financially responsible for her children! The men I date know me well enough to know that I am not the kind of woman that would do something that sleazy and underhanded anyway, so it wouldn't be a problem for me even if the laws here were like that.

At one point in the past I was contemplating getting married. When the subject came up about him adopting my son, I flatly refused to even discuss it. My reasoning was that if something were to happen and the marriage fell apart, it wouldn't be fair for him to have to pay support for a child that wasn't his! The other reason was that we had lived together for three years and he still wasn't my son's "daddy"; legal adoption wasn't going to change that, so I didn't see the point.

I'll be the first one to agree that the child support laws throughout this country need some serious rehabilitation, but it's my considered opinion that it's the women who abuse those laws that make things more difficult for men. I don't agree with men having to support children that aren't theirs because their wife couldn't keep her pants on, but the men who don't pay up for kids that ARE theirs make me equally angry. I also don't agree with women who deliberately get pregnant and have a child so they can collect support and not have to work. What the hell are these people thinking? Using children as pawns to get money or control in any situation should be a fine punishable by the harshest penalty allowed by our judicial system, and forced sterilization should definitely be part of the package.

End of rant. Sorry to have used up so much board space. You are now returned to your regularly scheduled programming

RockDaddy · 10-15-2002, 12:58 PM

Wow, Wenchy.

I think you have a great attitude about the whole thing and summed things up perfectly. But unfortunately you can tell by some of the posts up above that some women think you are their childs "daddy" after 1 yr and should have to pay them for the next 15 yrs.

I for one am paying child support for a child that is not mine and that I did not find out wasn't mine for several years.

twinkley · 10-15-2002, 01:55 PM

Ahhhhh I'm so happy I dont have to deal with this shit! No kids = no kid support problems!

Bottom Line - If you dont want to deal with a kid or child support - use birth control. There are only 65 different methods out there now - patches, condoms, shots, pills, diaphrams, non-oxynol 9, female condoms, IUD's - jesus the list goes on and on.

If you do end up pregnant (or your girl) guess what? You get to PAY for it. 18 years of your life and all your goddamn money. Deal with it.

Oh no, the poor poor men that are being abused by the child support system.... Why is that what most of these men seem to have multiple children by multiple women? Hmmmm sounds like they need some lessons on how to use a condom.

No, It's not right to have to pay for someone else's kid. If its yours, you pay, if not you dont. Seems simple enough....

As for the single mom who is living with her well-to-do boyfriend and dad is mad cause he still has to pay? WAaaaaaaaaaa
thats just too damn bad - HE didnt knock her up, why should he have to pay to feed/clothe/school/pay medical for YOUR kid?

If you dont want to pay "child support" to your now insignificant other, then try to get custody. Oh, you dont want to be a full time daddy? Well, then you get to pay for her to be mommy and daddy.

The bottom line is, there is really no reason (expect rape) for an "unwanted" pregnancy. Take responsibility for your actions.

twinkley

RockDaddy · 10-15-2002, 02:09 PM

Quote:

As for the single mom who is living with her well-to-do boyfriend and dad is mad cause he still has to pay?

Damn, another person who can't read and comprehend

Nobody is saying anyone is mad because they have to pay, just that the "HOUSEHOLD" income should be taken into consideration when determining amounts. They are living together as man and wife (6+ yrs), she has kids, they come with the terratory. He doesn't like that, then he should find a women without children.

If they seperate, the amount should be adjusted accordingly. that works both ways. If the father is living with someone else as husband and wife then the HOUSEHOLD income should be taken into consideration and if his new wife/girlfriend can't deal with it, then she should leave and find someone without baggage.

Poor dads abused by the system?? If people didn't get upset about unjust systems, there would still be slavery, women wouldn't be allowed to vote or get a job, laws are reevaluated and changed all the time.

I feel like I'm a Special Ed teacher here.

thatdykeliz · 10-15-2002, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dragon Curve

So stop wasting your time chasing him up, get another job and support your family yourself. I know plenty of single mothers who don't receive child support payments and are surviving.

Who said I was chasing him up? We haven't heard from him in over a year, and that's fine with me. And my family is being supported just fine -- ya'll misunderstood me, for one thing. I'm not a single mother, I've been remarried for going on 5 years, and the only reason I could think of to get in touch with my ex is to ask him to sign the paperwork to allow my husband to formally adopt my daughter.

My 2nd husband is the one who has helped me raise this child -- we both worked two jobs while we were going through college to keep food on the table, my husband used to change diapers, feed her, he does all the "Daddy" stuff happily, because he's happy to be a family man. My ex doesn't have it in him -- and didn't have it in him, even when he was married to me after the baby was born -- to be any kind of responsible parent, and I'm just as happy to let him keep himself out of her life.

And that's what he's doing, really. He knows where we live, he has my phone number -- if he isn't seeing her, it's his choice. I never kept him from exercising his visitation, even though I personally think he's a childish fuckstick who is one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I don't really regret it, though -- I got my daughter out of it, and it was one hell of a learning experience. I learned to take care of myself and not to rely on anyone else. I married again because I loved him, not because I "needed a man."

Bleh...I'll quit rambling now. It's almost time for the schoolbus, and I have to wake the hubby up from his nap -- he and the kiddo are going to the movies so I can get some site work done.

thatdykeliz · 10-15-2002, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Wenchy
I also don't agree with women who deliberately get pregnant and have a child so they can collect support and not have to work.

Would you believe that I was advised by my foodstamps/AFDC caseworker to get pregnant again so that I could continue to stay on assistance? The system is pretty much set up so that people who try to start working get penalized for it -- making anything above a certain amount a month resulted in the loss of over half my benefits, which was NOT made up for by the amount of money I was making.

We went through some scary, scary times when I was trying to get off assistance after my husband left me. It really would have been easier and made more sense for me to follow my caseworker's advice and get knocked up again, rather than work my butt off to complete some work training and get a job.

I didn't, though -- I just sucked it up and kept trying when I would get a letter in the mail informing me that they were reducing my benefits AGAIN, even though I was making minimum wage and was having to make the decision "which do I want to have this month: food, electricity, or a phone? which one gets to be a luxury this month?"

It sucked, and it was terrifying, but I'm proud that when I was a single mom, I got myself off welfare and into a good job before I got married again, and was taking care of myself and my daughter alone.

untitled · 10-15-2002, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Wenchy

Don't assume that children "need" a father. In a lot of cases, I'd say they'd be a whole lot better off without one!

You're right, why would women even sleep with these men?

Dragon Curve · 10-15-2002, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by eroswebmaster

She should be you worthless fuckwit.

But my point is, if you hadn't gotten seperated / divorced and the kid was still living with you you'd be responsible for such things as all the rent...all the utilities...all the food...all the clothing...all the over the counter meds...all the toys...all the gas to and from the soccer practices...all the fees associated with soccer practice....

you wouldn't just be responsible for paying a measely $50 a week...or hell even $100 a week.

Half should be paying ONLY when custody is ALSO half. And try to keep this argument, an argument.

It shows a lot about your character that you must resort to personal attacks when I haven't.

pink_in_the_middle · 10-15-2002, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by salsbury

then what is the point of this discussion? if so many women are on their own taking care of the kids and doing well, what the hell? is that not good enough? sounds like you want blood!

how in the world can this man be responsible. he is not the biological father. where's the real father? if she found him, would she collect child support from both? probably in your world.

but then again, i am "stupid", so "stupid" i will "end up" with a woman as "stupid" as me. that'd be sooo "bad".

shut up bitch

10-15-2002, 01:48 AM	#70
kelly Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: UK Posts: 901	Reading through this thread I'm glad that I'm still good friends with my ex and we've never had to get the courts or child support agency involved! He pays me no alimony or child support but if I need something I know he'll happily let me have the money for it (luckily this isn't often). He see's our son several times a week and has him stay over Saturday night, in fact he see's him more now than when we were together. When I became pregnant it was with the knowledge that if anything happened to the childs father I could support myself in some way while still bringing up my son myself and not sending him off to day care or a child minder. My ex will be here in an hour or so to take me grocery shopping and in return for him driving me to the city I'll buy him lunch! __________________ http://www.thehungersite.com

10-15-2002, 03:43 AM	#72
eroswebmaster March 1st, 2003 Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Seat 4 @ Venetian Poker Room Posts: 20,295	No Rockdaddy you are the one missing the big picture. There is much more involved in taking care of a child than just food...and some school clothes. The lady brought up a very valid point...and that is if you want everyone to pay half..then pay FUCKING HALF. If the kid lived with you then you'd be PAYING IT ALL. Half involves dentist visits...doctor visits...meds.... vitamins...tampons...what the fuck ever. If the kid wants to go to summer school...then pay fucking half. If the kid wants his/her sophomore annual...then pay fucking half. Own up... And dipshit...lay off the rock...maybe your kids might get better taken care of and daddy wouldn't have to make excuses. I don't need to read this fucking thread...even though I did. I've been cleaning up my brother in laws problems for going on 10 years now. In fact...his "problems" are on their way to Vegas right now to live with me yet once again. I've been raising his children on and off for 10 fucking years now...and in that time the man has paid squat...in fact he owes well over $30K in back child support. Is he in jail? Hell no...but should be. And edited to add: You ain't got shit on me...don't start talking out your ass about divorces and child support etc. I've seen it all since 19 fucking 76. I've been in family court more times than some people have been in church. __________________ For rent - ICQ 127-027-910 Click here for more details Last edited by eroswebmaster; 10-15-2002 at 03:44 AM..

10-15-2002, 08:17 AM	#88
Enchantress Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wa. U.S.A Posts: 121	Look, crappy things happen to both men and women. Unfairness isn't gender specific. In my situation, I was married to a man for 7 years, and we have a son together. He started using drugs so I left him. We divorced and he was ordered to pay 300 dollars a month for child support. He payed for about a year, then got fired for smoking crack at work, and hasn't paid me since (that was 4 years ago). For me it isn't really about the money. My issue is that when I tried to halt visitation (after he was arrested for breaking down his girlfirends door with an axe) I was told that he has a constitutional right to see his son. His life is all about rights, and mine is about obligations. He has the right to pop into my son's life once a year and traumatize him emotionally. I have the obligation of picking up the pieces and dealing with my heartbroken child when his father forgets his birthday again. He has a right to blow all his money on crack and cigarettes, and I have the obligation of paying for my son's braces all by myself. As far as dating a single mother, I'm biased, but I'm glad my new man took a chance on me. We have a beautiful son together and another on the way. He and my son from my first marriage have a really strong bond and my son now calls him Dad. What is unfair though is that even though my new husband does all the work of being a Dad, he can't claim my son on his taxes. He can support him all year long, but because there is no biology involved he can't claim the deduction, or get an earned income credit for him. My ex-husband on the other hand could claim him even though he hasn't paid a single cent in support. He doesn't because he hasn't had a "legal" job in at least 4 years, but it's not right that he has the option and the guy doing all the work doesn't. I've heard horror stories from both sexes, but despite what people might think I don't think this is a gender issue. The system needs to be changed so that there is more fairness on both sides. Last edited by Enchantress; 10-15-2002 at 08:21 AM..

10-15-2002, 01:00 AM	#68
Ted Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 830	Australia is just as fucked up, I'm not saying that men shouldn't have to pay child support but the system is weighted in favour of the woman in most cases My accountant has joint custody of his kids but still pays in excess of 30% of his pre-tax income to his ex even though he has custody more than 45% of the time. Every time I see his kids they are dressed in rags (otherwise they are very happy well adjusted kids) because the ex is planning on spending the next 13 years paying off her mortgage and building herself a nest egg.

10-15-2002, 03:25 AM	#71
Ted Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 830	Your lucky to be in such an amicable situation Kelly unfortunately situations like yours are not the norm.

10-15-2002, 06:12 AM	#74
RockDaddy Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 750	[/QUOTE]Half involves dentist visits...doctor visits...meds.... vitamins...tampons...what the fuck ever.[/QUOTE] Eroswebmaster, sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder regarding your brother in law and your "sisters?" kids. That's nice of you to help but what is wrong with your sister that in ten years she has not been capable of taking actions in her life to further her earning potentials? Is she lazy, stupid or what? You make it seem like your poor sweet and innocent sister was the "victim" in a "hit and run fucking" and she did not even get the license plate. Should her ex have to pay 1/2 of the childs needs, yes. Should he have to pay 1/2 of your sisters needs, no. "And dipshit, lay of the rock"?, oh, rock = rockdaddy. I get it. You are really reaching now though. I think you've hit the bottom on this one.

10-15-2002, 06:19 AM	#75
RockDaddy Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 750	Ok, probably my last post on this one. There are too many different scenarios and each one should be looked at individually before passing blame. The girl that gets knocked up in the bathroom at a nightclub after a few drinks is different than The woman who stays at home, works three jobs and takes care of the kids while her husband goes to law school, lands a great job and runs off with the secretary. is different than The wife that is doing daily gangbangs at The Wetlands. and so on, AND.. you hear over and over, "it's not the kids fault", "they didn't do anything wrong" etc.. but in the next sentence the same people are screaming "Don't let them see the kids if they don't pay" wtf, Well, I got news for you, that is taking it out on the kids, punishing them to try and hurt your ex, you are probably hurting your child more than your ex anyway. Anyway.... everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I wish everyone the best. Later, RD

10-15-2002, 08:33 AM	#89
RockDaddy Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 750	Enchantress, FYI, you should be able to have his parental rights terminated for non-payment of child support. Until that time you can refuse visitation, his only recourse is to file a "contempt of court" motion which it doesn't sound like he would have the resources or motivation to do. Good luck, RD

10-15-2002, 12:58 PM	#93
RockDaddy Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 750	Wow, Wenchy. I think you have a great attitude about the whole thing and summed things up perfectly. But unfortunately you can tell by some of the posts up above that some women think you are their childs "daddy" after 1 yr and should have to pay them for the next 15 yrs. I for one am paying child support for a child that is not mine and that I did not find out wasn't mine for several years.

10-15-2002, 01:55 PM	#94
twinkley Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Pueblo, CO Posts: 807	Ahhhhh I'm so happy I dont have to deal with this shit! No kids = no kid support problems! Bottom Line - If you dont want to deal with a kid or child support - use birth control. There are only 65 different methods out there now - patches, condoms, shots, pills, diaphrams, non-oxynol 9, female condoms, IUD's - jesus the list goes on and on. If you do end up pregnant (or your girl) guess what? You get to PAY for it. 18 years of your life and all your goddamn money. Deal with it. Oh no, the poor poor men that are being abused by the child support system.... Why is that what most of these men seem to have multiple children by multiple women? Hmmmm sounds like they need some lessons on how to use a condom. No, It's not right to have to pay for someone else's kid. If its yours, you pay, if not you dont. Seems simple enough.... As for the single mom who is living with her well-to-do boyfriend and dad is mad cause he still has to pay? WAaaaaaaaaaa thats just too damn bad - HE didnt knock her up, why should he have to pay to feed/clothe/school/pay medical for YOUR kid? If you dont want to pay "child support" to your now insignificant other, then try to get custody. Oh, you dont want to be a full time daddy? Well, then you get to pay for her to be mommy and daddy. The bottom line is, there is really no reason (expect rape) for an "unwanted" pregnancy. Take responsibility for your actions. twinkley