beat this joke - GoFuckYourself.com

Theo · 10-08-2002, 06:50 PM

Johnny asks grandpa: Do you still have sex with granny?
Grandpa says: Yes, but only oral.
Johnny asks: What is oral?
Grandpa says: I say "fuck you", she says" fuck you too".

[MistaT] · 10-08-2002, 07:38 PM

thats some funny shit

Slick · 10-08-2002, 07:53 PM

How do you make pickle bread ???

With Dill Dough

Spoonie Luv · 10-08-2002, 09:14 PM

Boyfriend and girlfriend are talking.
Girlfriend asks "How do you spell pedophile?"
Boyfriend says "Pedophile? That's an awfully big word for an eight year old!"

SykkBoy · 10-08-2002, 09:17 PM

How do you make an elephant float?
A mug of rootbeer and two scops of elephant

EscortBiz · 10-08-2002, 09:19 PM

What does a Jewish wife make for dinner?

Reservations

How do you get a Jewish girl to stop fucking?

Marry her

BV · 10-08-2002, 09:20 PM

Mom gets call from school, son gets caught having sex on campus, mom is furious.

Mom tells dad about son when Dad comes home from work, dad pretends to be upset. :-) (really dad is proud!)

Next day Dad is home when son gets back from school.
He says: Well son did you have sex today?

Son says:
"No Dad, My ass still hurts from yesterday!

Cheers!,
BV

PersianKitty · 10-08-2002, 09:23 PM

PMS goes back to bible times.

It's even mentioned in the bible.

"Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Jerusalem."

XXXPaysiteDesign · 10-08-2002, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty
PMS goes back to bible times.

It's even mentioned in the bible.

"Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Jerusalem."

Ace-Ace · 10-08-2002, 09:32 PM

Check out some of the shit on my site http://www.dailyhumor.net/ - got some pretty good jokes (and even better "Funny Pics") there! Don't worry no ads or anything, just some entertainment for ya!

High Quality · 10-08-2002, 09:34 PM

I can beat it:

Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she sit AROUND the house!

StuartD · 10-08-2002, 10:10 PM

Did you hear that scientists have found a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by up to 90%?!?!??!!

It's called Wedding Cake!!!

A recent survey found that 25% of men kiss their wife good bye when leaving their house.
A similar studay found that 95% of men kiss their house good bye when leaving their wife!!

SCOOTER · 10-08-2002, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by EscortBiz

How do you get a Jewish girl to stop fucking?

Marry her

HMMM...... My Wife must be Jewish

SunTzu · 10-08-2002, 10:21 PM

Why do Pollocks bury their dead with the asses sticking up in the air?

---------

So they have someplace to park their bikes.

High Quality · 10-08-2002, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MaskedMan
Did you hear that scientists have found a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by up to 90%?!?!??!!

It's called Wedding Cake!!!

A recent survey found that 25% of men kiss their wife good bye when leaving their house.
A similar studay found that 95% of men kiss their house good bye when leaving their wife!!

KingK7 · 10-08-2002, 10:24 PM

Here are a couple redneck jokes:

---
Q: What's the first thing a woman does after coming home from the shelter for abused women?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's best for her...
---
Q: What do you say to your girlfriend when she comes to you with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, you already told her twice...

KingK7 · 10-08-2002, 10:26 PM

The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also. The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also. The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too. As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door. Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"

KingK7 · 10-08-2002, 10:34 PM

Q: What's the title of Christopher Reeves' next movie?
A: Superman Gets a Good Parking Spot.

Q: What's Superman's new weakness?
A: Everything.

Q: How do you stop Superman from moving?
A: Tape his mouth shut.

Q: What does Superman eat for breakfast?
A: Kryptonite, by the looks of him.

MarkTiarra · 10-08-2002, 10:49 PM

Couldn't resist adding to this awful discussion... =]

This joke is from a friend who has subsequently gotte divorced... You'll see why!

How do you make a woman orgasm?

Who cares?!

Paul Markham · 10-08-2002, 11:15 PM

Why did man invent kitchens?
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Give her somewhere to go after I fucked her.

Why did God give women long legs?
.
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Have you seen the mess a snail leaves?

How do Blondes turn off the lights after sex?
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They close the car door.

NetRodent · 10-08-2002, 11:44 PM

What's brown and sticky?

--

A stick.

^R3K^ · 10-08-2002, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NetRodent
What's brown and sticky?

--

A stick.

For some reason I love that joke!

Heres mine ;-))
-----------------------------
Your Mama is soooo Old, she can remember when The Dead Sea was just getting sick!
-----------------------------

DarkJedi · 10-09-2002, 12:06 AM

Q: What do you say when you see your TV floating around at night?

A: Drop it ****** !!

Q: Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time?

A: He doesn't know he's black

Oldy · 10-09-2002, 12:43 AM

Hahahahaha.
Good one.

Rocky · 10-09-2002, 12:48 AM

a baby seal walks into a club...

SykkBoy · 10-09-2002, 12:52 AM

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
The bear turns to the rabbit "Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
The Rabbit answers "No"
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit

Forkbeard · 10-09-2002, 12:53 AM

What's better than two roses on a piano?

.
.
.
.
.

Two lips on an organ.

SykkBoy · 10-09-2002, 12:55 AM

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

.
.
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Wiped his ass

RedShoe · 10-09-2002, 01:07 AM

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

Why kind of socks does a pirate wear?
.
.
.
.
.
.
AAARRRGGHHHhyle

Have you seen the new pirate movie?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's rated AAAARRRRRGGHHHH

Why did the pirate go on vacation?
.
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.
.
.
.
.
He needed a little AAARRRGHHH and AAARRRGHHH

- dedicated to MEL (she's one funny chick)

Theo · 10-09-2002, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SykkBoy2
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
The bear turns to the rabbit "Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
The Rabbit answers "No"
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit

lol,that's was great

Mr Cheeks · 10-09-2002, 01:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by High Quality
I can beat it:

Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she sit AROUND the house!

yo momma so fat... she got a flat on her skates, on her way to taco bell!

Kanoealoha · 10-09-2002, 01:49 AM

What do you do when the dishwasher breaks down?

Slap her and tell her get back to work.

Why did the housewife cross the street?

Who cares. Why is she outta the kitchen?

Oldy · 10-09-2002, 01:56 AM

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ?No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.?

WombRaider · 10-09-2002, 02:06 AM

LOL....those are some good jokes. My contirbution:

Little Jonny walks in on his mother while she was in the shower. Inquisitively, Jonny asks his Mother "What is That?", pointing at her privates.

Not knowing what to say to her youngster she replied, "That's where an elf hit me with an axe."

Jonny replied, "Got you right in the hahahaha, huh?"

Jakke PNG · 10-09-2002, 02:44 AM

Dunno if this translates well...

What's the similarity of getting head from 90 year old and being a tight-rope walker?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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You need serious balls to look down.

GrimShawn · 10-09-2002, 03:48 AM

Alright!

What's better then winning the gold medal in the special olympics????

Not being in it!!

DarkJedi · 10-09-2002, 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WombRaider

Jonny replied, "Got you right in the hahahaha, huh?"

ha ha ha ha ?

mjrools23 · 10-09-2002, 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BV
Mom gets call from school, son gets caught having sex on campus, mom is furious.

Mom tells dad about son when Dad comes home from work, dad pretends to be upset. :-) (really dad is proud!)

Next day Dad is home when son gets back from school.
He says: Well son did you have sex today?

Son says:
"No Dad, My ass still hurts from yesterday!

Cheers!,
BV

hahahahah i like this one

10-08-2002, 06:50 PM	#1
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	beat this joke Johnny asks grandpa: Do you still have sex with granny? Grandpa says: Yes, but only oral. Johnny asks: What is oral? Grandpa says: I say "fuck you", she says" fuck you too".

10-08-2002, 09:17 PM	#5
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	How do you make an elephant float? A mug of rootbeer and two scops of elephant __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

10-08-2002, 09:19 PM	#6
EscortBiz Fuck Checks, CASH only! Join Date: May 2002 Location: New York City Posts: 19,422	What does a Jewish wife make for dinner? Reservations How do you get a Jewish girl to stop fucking? Marry her __________________ Spanking, Medical Fetish, Sleeping, Strap-on Anal Lesbians, Girls Fucking Guys, Handjob site REAL HOT, Shemales, Anal and Ass Licking sites 100% Real EXCLUSIVE with amazing retention, ccbill payouts, lots of content FREE FTP HOSTING Promote the largest and oldest member paid escort site, Converts 10 times better then any dating site, CCBill payouts ICQ# 158802076

10-08-2002, 09:32 PM	#10
Ace-Ace Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Dayton, OH, USA Posts: 1,863	Check out some of the shit on my site http://www.dailyhumor.net/ - got some pretty good jokes (and even better "Funny Pics") there! Don't worry no ads or anything, just some entertainment for ya! __________________ JamPlay.com - Online, video-based guitar lessons

10-08-2002, 09:34 PM	#11
High Quality Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Vegas Posts: 5,741	I can beat it: Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house, she sit AROUND the house! __________________ RecurCash.com - Averaging $38/sale with 60% revshare in the first 4 months alone! Convert your TEEN traffic today @ better than 1:500 guaranteed. ICQ me: 18287590!

10-08-2002, 07:38 PM	#2
[MistaT] So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 193	thats some funny shit

10-08-2002, 07:53 PM	#3
Slick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Houghton, MI Posts: 7,338	How do you make pickle bread ??? With Dill Dough

10-08-2002, 09:14 PM	#4
Spoonie Luv Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Crankerville Posts: 1,003	Boyfriend and girlfriend are talking. Girlfriend asks "How do you spell pedophile?" Boyfriend says "Pedophile? That's an awfully big word for an eight year old!"

10-08-2002, 09:20 PM	#7
BV wtf Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Bikini State, FL USA Posts: 10,914	Mom gets call from school, son gets caught having sex on campus, mom is furious. Mom tells dad about son when Dad comes home from work, dad pretends to be upset. :-) (really dad is proud!) Next day Dad is home when son gets back from school. He says: Well son did you have sex today? Son says: "No Dad, My ass still hurts from yesterday! Cheers!, BV

10-08-2002, 09:23 PM	#8
PersianKitty Meow Media Inc. Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: In the valley of the sun, cactus, tacos, tequila, and nod Posts: 7,785	PMS goes back to bible times. It's even mentioned in the bible. "Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Jerusalem."

10-08-2002, 10:10 PM	#12
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	Did you hear that scientists have found a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by up to 90%?!?!??!! It's called Wedding Cake!!! A recent survey found that 25% of men kiss their wife good bye when leaving their house. A similar studay found that 95% of men kiss their house good bye when leaving their wife!! __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

10-08-2002, 10:21 PM	#14
SunTzu Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: the box Posts: 456	Why do Pollocks bury their dead with the asses sticking up in the air? --------- So they have someplace to park their bikes.

10-08-2002, 10:24 PM	#16
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	Here are a couple redneck jokes: --- Q: What's the first thing a woman does after coming home from the shelter for abused women? A: The dishes, if she knows what's best for her... --- Q: What do you say to your girlfriend when she comes to you with two black eyes? A: Nothing, you already told her twice...

10-08-2002, 10:26 PM	#17
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also. The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti also. The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too. As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door. Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. As Jesus walked toward the redneck, the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"

10-08-2002, 10:34 PM	#18
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	Q: What's the title of Christopher Reeves' next movie? A: Superman Gets a Good Parking Spot. Q: What's Superman's new weakness? A: Everything. Q: How do you stop Superman from moving? A: Tape his mouth shut. Q: What does Superman eat for breakfast? A: Kryptonite, by the looks of him.

10-08-2002, 10:49 PM	#19
MarkTiarra Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: NJ Posts: 3,833	Couldn't resist adding to this awful discussion... =] This joke is from a friend who has subsequently gotte divorced... You'll see why! How do you make a woman orgasm? Who cares?! __________________ Retired Pornosticator

10-08-2002, 11:15 PM	#20
Paul Markham Too old to care Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws. Posts: 52,943	Why did man invent kitchens? . . . . . . . . . . . Give her somewhere to go after I fucked her. Why did God give women long legs? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Have you seen the mess a snail leaves? How do Blondes turn off the lights after sex? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . They close the car door. __________________ Blowout deal. 880 videos, 2,400 image sets, plus many RAW videos. $500. PM me for a deal. Skype Paulmarkham70

10-08-2002, 11:44 PM	#21
NetRodent Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: In the walls of your house. Posts: 3,985	What's brown and sticky? -- A stick. __________________ "Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." --H.L. Mencken

10-09-2002, 12:06 AM	#23
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	Q: What do you say when you see your TV floating around at night? A: Drop it ****** !! Q: Why does Stevie Wonder smile all the time? A: He doesn't know he's black

10-09-2002, 12:43 AM	#24
Oldy Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 348	Hahahahaha. Good one.

10-09-2002, 12:48 AM	#25
Rocky Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Living Off The Grid Posts: 3,022	a baby seal walks into a club... __________________ Are you down with Sin?

10-09-2002, 12:52 AM	#26
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit "Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The Rabbit answers "No" So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

10-09-2002, 12:53 AM	#27
Forkbeard Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: I Roam Around Posts: 2,236	What's better than two roses on a piano? . . . . . Two lips on an organ. __________________ Offering sponsored blog posts and custom writing services.

10-09-2002, 12:55 AM	#28
SykkBoy Jesus loves bacon Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Sin City, Motherfucker Posts: 19,969	What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wiped his ass __________________ Support my new movie “The Second Coming”

10-09-2002, 01:07 AM	#29
RedShoe 赤い靴 call me 202-456-1111 Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: The Valley Posts: 14,831	A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Why kind of socks does a pirate wear? . . . . . . AAARRRGGHHHhyle Have you seen the new pirate movie? . . . . . . . It's rated AAAARRRRRGGHHHH Why did the pirate go on vacation? . . . . . . . He needed a little AAARRRGHHH and AAARRRGHHH - dedicated to MEL (she's one funny chick) __________________ SPECIALTY COSTUMES • PROPS • FX Superheroes • Monsters • Robots PM for details For any manufacturing needs. Adult or otherwise. aka BonsHigh on Insta Bonsai weed plants

10-09-2002, 01:49 AM	#32
Kanoealoha Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Happy Valley Posts: 1,261	What do you do when the dishwasher breaks down? Slap her and tell her get back to work. Why did the housewife cross the street? Who cares. Why is she outta the kitchen?

10-09-2002, 01:56 AM	#33
Oldy Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 348	I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ?No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.?

10-09-2002, 02:06 AM	#34
WombRaider Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: FL Posts: 159	LOL....those are some good jokes. My contirbution: Little Jonny walks in on his mother while she was in the shower. Inquisitively, Jonny asks his Mother "What is That?", pointing at her privates. Not knowing what to say to her youngster she replied, "That's where an elf hit me with an axe." Jonny replied, "Got you right in the hahahaha, huh?" __________________ Fred, I think I fried the motherboard.........and the fatherboard, too.

10-09-2002, 02:44 AM	#35
Jakke PNG ex-TeenGodFather Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Suomi Finland Perkele Posts: 20,306	Dunno if this translates well... What's the similarity of getting head from 90 year old and being a tight-rope walker? . . . . . . . . . . . . . You need serious balls to look down. __________________ ..and I'm off.

10-09-2002, 03:48 AM	#36
GrimShawn Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: BONEPRONE MANSION serving drinks! Posts: 8,120	Alright! What's better then winning the gold medal in the special olympics???? Not being in it!!