Jesus Is Going To Sic Satan On You! - GoFuckYourself.com

BoyAlley · 01-03-2008, 01:50 AM

Someone told me today that Jesus is going to sic Satan on me.

I mean, I've been told I'm GOING to hell, and have been told TO go to hell, that I'm going to burn in hell, but never before have I been told Jesus was going to sic Satan on me.

Apparently my understanding of Christianity might be a little bit off, cuz I didn't think Satan and Jesus got along real well together, much less took orders from each other.

Wost ever.

mikeyddddd · 01-03-2008, 02:10 AM

sicone · 01-03-2008, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoyAlley

Apparently my understanding of Christianity might be a little bit off, cuz I didn't think Satan and Jesus got along real well together, much less took orders from each other.

Wost ever.

Ever watch south park

minusonebit · 01-03-2008, 03:37 AM

First off... let me tell you something about Christ nuts. First of all, most of them are insane. The ones that are not insane are pedophiles that like to lube up the alter boy and take him for a ride. The pedophiles could also be insane, but I didnt want to mention that... gives the insane ones a bad name.

The insane ones fall into three categories: stickeys, doomies and creepy crawlers.

The stickies wont leave you the fuck alone. They are constantly trying to get you to come to their church, donate, join them for thier bake sale or whatever. They also love to send you shit in the mail, preach to you on TV and call you in the middle of dinner.

Then there are the doomies. These are the ones always trying to "save" and "convert" you. They often use stickies in this (and the occasional insane pedophile, but they don't tell you about this) and they have tons of scripture and other gurbley gook that says if you don't do what they say, you're going to HELL.

Finally, we have creepie crawlers. These people use the stickies and the doomies to operate this thing called a Church. Its where you go and have a stickey or a doomey and sometimes the creepy crawler himself (yes, they mostly all men) tell you all of the bad things you have done and how "God" still loves you anyway. The creepy crawler got his name because most of them are also pedophiles and that is well, creepy.

So now you know everything there is to know about Christ-loving. Any questions?

01-03-2008, 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoyAlley

Someone told me today that Jesus is going to sic Satan on me.

I mean, I've been told I'm GOING to hell, and have been told TO go to hell, that I'm going to burn in hell, but never before have I been told Jesus was going to sic Satan on me.

Apparently my understanding of Christianity might be a little bit off, cuz I didn't think Satan and Jesus got along real well together, much less took orders from each other.

Wost ever.

Yeah Jesus and Satan do not get along. Satan was an angel at one time, but you know the story. Jesus does not sic Satan on anyone. That is to fucking funny. Who in the hell would tell you something like that?

MicDoohan · 01-03-2008, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit

So now you know everything there is to know about Christ-loving. Any questions?

i want to know why you never post in the thread where your parents call you a 'psychiatric case' ???

Sarah_Jayne · 01-03-2008, 05:33 AM

Some people are just nuts. I have nothing against religion but the nuts within them do them a disservice.

dynastoned · 01-03-2008, 05:48 AM

fuck 'em

dav3 · 01-03-2008, 05:57 AM

If you don't believe that jesus will sic satan on you, then you are definitely going to hell when you die!

xmas13 · 01-03-2008, 06:56 AM

?Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"?

- Annie Dillard

Satan · 01-03-2008, 07:01 AM

just send your traffic to www.SATANcash.com then satan will be happy with you

who · 01-03-2008, 07:05 AM

I hate to point out that we are just animals, and thoughts of heaven and hell are caused by our human ability to look beyond reality. I.e., it's all a load of cobs wallop.

design.guru.guy · 01-03-2008, 04:40 PM

If there is a god, she wouldn't mind the random shit we all do. And if there isn't, who fuckin care? Oh well, Christians pay for porn. Yay

Brother Bilo · 01-03-2008, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit

First off... let me tell you something about Christ nuts. First of all, most of them are insane...

Wow, a first off and a first of all back to back. You must have a good understanding of this subject.

BradM · 01-03-2008, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit

First off... let me tell you something about Christ nuts. First of all, most of them are insane. The ones that are not insane are pedophiles that like to lube up the alter boy and take him for a ride. The pedophiles could also be insane, but I didnt want to mention that... gives the insane ones a bad name.

The insane ones fall into three categories: stickeys, doomies and creepy crawlers.

The stickies wont leave you the fuck alone. They are constantly trying to get you to come to their church, donate, join them for thier bake sale or whatever. They also love to send you shit in the mail, preach to you on TV and call you in the middle of dinner.

Then there are the doomies. These are the ones always trying to "save" and "convert" you. They often use stickies in this (and the occasional insane pedophile, but they don't tell you about this) and they have tons of scripture and other gurbley gook that says if you don't do what they say, you're going to HELL.

Finally, we have creepie crawlers. These people use the stickies and the doomies to operate this thing called a Church. Its where you go and have a stickey or a doomey and sometimes the creepy crawler himself (yes, they mostly all men) tell you all of the bad things you have done and how "God" still loves you anyway. The creepy crawler got his name because most of them are also pedophiles and that is well, creepy.

So now you know everything there is to know about Christ-loving. Any questions?

Fuck you. I hate you, but you're pretty damn correct.

01-03-2008, 01:50 AM	#1
BoyAlley So Fucking Gay Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 19,714	Jesus Is Going To Sic Satan On You! Someone told me today that Jesus is going to sic Satan on me. I mean, I've been told I'm GOING to hell, and have been told TO go to hell, that I'm going to burn in hell, but never before have I been told Jesus was going to sic Satan on me. Apparently my understanding of Christianity might be a little bit off, cuz I didn't think Satan and Jesus got along real well together, much less took orders from each other. Wost ever.

01-03-2008, 02:10 AM	#2
mikeyddddd Viva la vulva! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself Posts: 16,557	__________________ AdultStarProfits AmbyaCash AnilosCash AzianiGold ColdHardCash FlashTheMoney IdolBucks MediumPimpin NSCash Nubiles PussyCash ScoreCash Sextronix SpunkyCash TubeTitans Twistys

01-03-2008, 05:57 AM	#9
dav3 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 7,348	If you don't believe that jesus will sic satan on you, then you are definitely going to hell when you die! __________________ Webmasters :: Juicy Ads :: ACWM :: Crak Revenue :: Money Tree

01-03-2008, 06:56 AM	#10
xmas13 Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: GFY Posts: 5,176	?Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"? - Annie Dillard __________________ ICQ 557504926

01-03-2008, 07:01 AM	#11
Satan Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Hell Posts: 1,626	just send your traffic to www.SATANcash.com then satan will be happy with you __________________ WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

01-03-2008, 03:37 AM	#4
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391	First off... let me tell you something about Christ nuts. First of all, most of them are insane. The ones that are not insane are pedophiles that like to lube up the alter boy and take him for a ride. The pedophiles could also be insane, but I didnt want to mention that... gives the insane ones a bad name. The insane ones fall into three categories: stickeys, doomies and creepy crawlers. The stickies wont leave you the fuck alone. They are constantly trying to get you to come to their church, donate, join them for thier bake sale or whatever. They also love to send you shit in the mail, preach to you on TV and call you in the middle of dinner. Then there are the doomies. These are the ones always trying to "save" and "convert" you. They often use stickies in this (and the occasional insane pedophile, but they don't tell you about this) and they have tons of scripture and other gurbley gook that says if you don't do what they say, you're going to HELL. Finally, we have creepie crawlers. These people use the stickies and the doomies to operate this thing called a Church. Its where you go and have a stickey or a doomey and sometimes the creepy crawler himself (yes, they mostly all men) tell you all of the bad things you have done and how "God" still loves you anyway. The creepy crawler got his name because most of them are also pedophiles and that is well, creepy. So now you know everything there is to know about Christ-loving. Any questions?

01-03-2008, 05:33 AM	#7
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	Some people are just nuts. I have nothing against religion but the nuts within them do them a disservice.

01-03-2008, 05:48 AM	#8
dynastoned mmm yeah! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: roseville, ca Posts: 5,061	fuck 'em

01-03-2008, 07:05 AM	#12
who So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ICQ #23642053 Posts: 19,593	I hate to point out that we are just animals, and thoughts of heaven and hell are caused by our human ability to look beyond reality. I.e., it's all a load of cobs wallop.

01-03-2008, 04:40 PM	#13
design.guru.guy Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 107	If there is a god, she wouldn't mind the random shit we all do. And if there isn't, who fuckin care? Oh well, Christians pay for porn. Yay