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-   -   Jesus Is Going To Sic Satan On You! (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=796656)

BoyAlley 01-03-2008 01:50 AM

Jesus Is Going To Sic Satan On You!
 
Someone told me today that Jesus is going to sic Satan on me. :(

I mean, I've been told I'm GOING to hell, and have been told TO go to hell, that I'm going to burn in hell, but never before have I been told Jesus was going to sic Satan on me.

Apparently my understanding of Christianity might be a little bit off, cuz I didn't think Satan and Jesus got along real well together, much less took orders from each other. :helpme

Wost ever. :Oh crap

mikeyddddd 01-03-2008 02:10 AM


sicone 01-03-2008 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoyAlley (Post 13596213)

Apparently my understanding of Christianity might be a little bit off, cuz I didn't think Satan and Jesus got along real well together, much less took orders from each other. :helpme

Wost ever. :Oh crap

Ever watch south park :thumbsup

minusonebit 01-03-2008 03:37 AM

First off... let me tell you something about Christ nuts. First of all, most of them are insane. The ones that are not insane are pedophiles that like to lube up the alter boy and take him for a ride. The pedophiles could also be insane, but I didnt want to mention that... gives the insane ones a bad name.

The insane ones fall into three categories: stickeys, doomies and creepy crawlers.

The stickies wont leave you the fuck alone. They are constantly trying to get you to come to their church, donate, join them for thier bake sale or whatever. They also love to send you shit in the mail, preach to you on TV and call you in the middle of dinner.

Then there are the doomies. These are the ones always trying to "save" and "convert" you. They often use stickies in this (and the occasional insane pedophile, but they don't tell you about this) and they have tons of scripture and other gurbley gook that says if you don't do what they say, you're going to HELL.

Finally, we have creepie crawlers. These people use the stickies and the doomies to operate this thing called a Church. Its where you go and have a stickey or a doomey and sometimes the creepy crawler himself (yes, they mostly all men) tell you all of the bad things you have done and how "God" still loves you anyway. The creepy crawler got his name because most of them are also pedophiles and that is well, creepy.

So now you know everything there is to know about Christ-loving. Any questions?

JaneB 01-03-2008 03:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BoyAlley (Post 13596213)
Someone told me today that Jesus is going to sic Satan on me. :(

I mean, I've been told I'm GOING to hell, and have been told TO go to hell, that I'm going to burn in hell, but never before have I been told Jesus was going to sic Satan on me.

Apparently my understanding of Christianity might be a little bit off, cuz I didn't think Satan and Jesus got along real well together, much less took orders from each other. :helpme

Wost ever. :Oh crap



Yeah Jesus and Satan do not get along. Satan was an angel at one time, but you know the story. Jesus does not sic Satan on anyone. That is to fucking funny. Who in the hell would tell you something like that?

MicDoohan 01-03-2008 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit (Post 13596629)
So now you know everything there is to know about Christ-loving. Any questions?

i want to know why you never post in the thread where your parents call you a 'psychiatric case' ???

Sarah_Jayne 01-03-2008 05:33 AM

Some people are just nuts. I have nothing against religion but the nuts within them do them a disservice.

dynastoned 01-03-2008 05:48 AM

fuck 'em

dav3 01-03-2008 05:57 AM

If you don't believe that jesus will sic satan on you, then you are definitely going to hell when you die!

xmas13 01-03-2008 06:56 AM

?Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"?

- Annie Dillard

Satan 01-03-2008 07:01 AM

just send your traffic to www.SATANcash.com then satan will be happy with you :)

who 01-03-2008 07:05 AM

I hate to point out that we are just animals, and thoughts of heaven and hell are caused by our human ability to look beyond reality. I.e., it's all a load of cobs wallop.

design.guru.guy 01-03-2008 04:40 PM

If there is a god, she wouldn't mind the random shit we all do. And if there isn't, who fuckin care? Oh well, Christians pay for porn. Yay

Brother Bilo 01-03-2008 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit (Post 13596629)
First off... let me tell you something about Christ nuts. First of all, most of them are insane...

Wow, a first off and a first of all back to back. You must have a good understanding of this subject.

BradM 01-03-2008 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit (Post 13596629)
First off... let me tell you something about Christ nuts. First of all, most of them are insane. The ones that are not insane are pedophiles that like to lube up the alter boy and take him for a ride. The pedophiles could also be insane, but I didnt want to mention that... gives the insane ones a bad name.

The insane ones fall into three categories: stickeys, doomies and creepy crawlers.

The stickies wont leave you the fuck alone. They are constantly trying to get you to come to their church, donate, join them for thier bake sale or whatever. They also love to send you shit in the mail, preach to you on TV and call you in the middle of dinner.

Then there are the doomies. These are the ones always trying to "save" and "convert" you. They often use stickies in this (and the occasional insane pedophile, but they don't tell you about this) and they have tons of scripture and other gurbley gook that says if you don't do what they say, you're going to HELL.

Finally, we have creepie crawlers. These people use the stickies and the doomies to operate this thing called a Church. Its where you go and have a stickey or a doomey and sometimes the creepy crawler himself (yes, they mostly all men) tell you all of the bad things you have done and how "God" still loves you anyway. The creepy crawler got his name because most of them are also pedophiles and that is well, creepy.

So now you know everything there is to know about Christ-loving. Any questions?

Fuck you. I hate you, but you're pretty damn correct.


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