Originally Posted by minusonebit

First off... let me tell you something about Christ nuts. First of all, most of them are insane. The ones that are not insane are pedophiles that like to lube up the alter boy and take him for a ride. The pedophiles could also be insane, but I didnt want to mention that... gives the insane ones a bad name.

The insane ones fall into three categories: stickeys, doomies and creepy crawlers.

The stickies wont leave you the fuck alone. They are constantly trying to get you to come to their church, donate, join them for thier bake sale or whatever. They also love to send you shit in the mail, preach to you on TV and call you in the middle of dinner.

Then there are the doomies. These are the ones always trying to "save" and "convert" you. They often use stickies in this (and the occasional insane pedophile, but they don't tell you about this) and they have tons of scripture and other gurbley gook that says if you don't do what they say, you're going to HELL.

Finally, we have creepie crawlers. These people use the stickies and the doomies to operate this thing called a Church. Its where you go and have a stickey or a doomey and sometimes the creepy crawler himself (yes, they mostly all men) tell you all of the bad things you have done and how "God" still loves you anyway. The creepy crawler got his name because most of them are also pedophiles and that is well, creepy.

So now you know everything there is to know about Christ-loving. Any questions?