What are your New Year's Resolutions? - GoFuckYourself.com

Halcyon · 12-28-2007, 03:43 PM

Here are mine:

#

Stop using the phrase, ?stinky finger.?

#

Wean myself off Phonics (I?m hooked)

#

Convince my Dad that he?s gay.

#

Avoid Subway Sandwiches (Life is too short to eat a sub where the Mayo is applied with a squeeze-bottle)

#

Rip out Puff Daddy?s vocal cords and flay him mercilessly across the buttocks.

#

Figure out what?s causing that rash.

#

Limber-up enough to perform self-fellatio (If I achieve this, my blog will go on an indefinite hiatus)

#

Apologize to each member of the NFL for failing to take an interest in their sport.

#

Get all my friends to sign my cast. (break arm if necessary)

#

Get over my necrophilia hang-up.

#

Lobby to get ?Y? the full vowel status it deserves.

#

Learn to tell the difference between a ?normal? and an ?unhealthy? discharge

#

Only wear fur coats that block harmful UV rays.

#

Read the articles in Playboy ( I hear they?re very good)

#

Boycott all Marijuana grown in Iraq.

#

Work to lift the taboo on the words, ?felching? and ?smegma?

#

Stop staring at my co-workers breasts while they talk.

#

Only listen to music that utilizes F sharp in a flattering way.

D Ghost · 12-28-2007, 03:44 PM

To quit being an asshole to people!

minddust · 12-28-2007, 03:44 PM

Who's behind smegma.ca while we're talking about it?

Halcyon · 12-28-2007, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minddust

Who's behind smegma.ca while we're talking about it?

holy crap.... why did I click that!?

minddust · 12-28-2007, 03:58 PM

I sell short retinas

Installation fees waived

That's a Bargain

Linguist · 12-28-2007, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halcyon

Only listen to music that utilizes F sharp in a flattering way.

I'm stealing that one.

Halcyon · 12-28-2007, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minddust

I sell short retinas

Installation fees waived

That's a Bargain

LOL!

no deal!~

tony286 · 12-28-2007, 04:47 PM

Very funny Hal.

Halcyon · 12-28-2007, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony404

Very funny Hal.

Thanks! (and happy holidays, btw!)
That was 3 years ago. I have 2 more lists. (Sometimes I wonder about myself.)

papill0n · 12-28-2007, 05:15 PM

Happy New Year Halycon. I was looking at your 'fossil' pic on flickr yesterday, very moving stuff mate. Take care hey.

bns666 · 12-28-2007, 05:18 PM

less beer, more wine

Halcyon · 12-28-2007, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RageCash-Ben

Happy New Year Halycon. I was looking at your 'fossil' pic on flickr yesterday, very moving stuff mate. Take care hey.

Much appreciated, Ben.

Happy New Year!

You might dig this "new year's blessing" my grandpa gave a few years ago:
http://www.lifestudent.com/hub/2007/...year-blessing/

BlueDesignStudios · 12-28-2007, 06:08 PM

hehe nice list you have there!

Hollywood Horwitz · 12-28-2007, 06:13 PM

Great resolutions Hal! Mine are much simpler.

1. exercise twice a week.

2. get my band on tour for a week

3. find a worthy girlfriend that lasts longer than 3 months(average length in LA)

Dagwolf · 12-28-2007, 06:17 PM

I resolve to enjoy life as much as possible... and get rid of some dead weight.

Halcyon · 12-28-2007, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hollywood Horwitz

Great resolutions Hal! Mine are much simpler.

1. exercise twice a week.

2. get my band on tour for a week

3. find a worthy girlfriend that lasts longer than 3 months(average length in LA)

heh...you could almost shuffle your list:

Do your girlfriend twice a week.
Go on tour for 3 months
exercise weekly.

;)

Spunky · 12-28-2007, 08:31 PM

More exercise and less reefer

Phill · 12-28-2007, 08:39 PM

Less promiscuous sex. Or wait, was it more

Anyways, great list Hal!

ytcracker · 12-28-2007, 08:43 PM

insure ron paul beats the final boss

Halcyon · 12-29-2007, 02:24 PM

batch number 2:

# Learn to determine remaining battery life with my tongue.
# Master the Lundy Hop.
# Floss.
# Force those punks to let me play their reindeer games
# Protest non-primary colors.
# Impregnate a reptile.
# Up my brie intake to 2 wheels/day.
# Read the fine print.
# Pick which side is my ?good side.?
# Conquer my fear of cotton.
# Regain my tetherball Championship.
# Patent my spanking machine.
# Stop teasing gravity.
# Skip to work at least 1 day a week.
# Skip work at least 1 day a week.
# Debate artificial flavors and colors.
# Tackle adversity. Tie him up. Tar and feather him.
#Have my ?Marry me, Brittany? tattoo covered up with a Celtic design or something.
# Stop blood doping for regional athletic competitions and weekend masturbation sessions.
# Ask Mom to stop calling me ?Fucko.?
# Find a teeter-totter partner closer to my age (and weight).
# Buy my *own* blow-up doll.

LadyMischief · 12-29-2007, 05:17 PM

ahhahaha that's awesome my resolutions aren't nearly as colorful.

sweetums · 12-29-2007, 05:30 PM

Those are 2 most excellent lists, Hal!
My resolution this year....laugh 'til my sides hurt daily

Tam · 12-29-2007, 06:56 PM

I don't think I have ever in my life made a New Year's Resolution, it just seemed pointless to me, if I was going to make a change, I shouldn't need a New Year to do it...... I am twisted I know. lol

BUT this year my goal is to STOP smoking. I found out I have Type II Diabetes a few months ago and I wanted to quit before, but it was too many changes for my body at one time and the Dr advised me not to make drastic changes all at one time.......... so...

I gave it a few months and NOW it is time. For the New Year, I am going to stop smoking.

yumma · 12-29-2007, 07:11 PM

nice.... just do good things!

Babaganoosh · 12-29-2007, 07:19 PM

This year, I resolve to make more money. I will stop turning down money. I will stop letting money making situations escape from me (no, I won't blow you for $20). I will join the ranks of GFY sig whores. When a friend's friend's cousin offers me $25 to go over and fix his piece of shit computer, I will take it. I will revive dead sites and start new ones. I will stop spending money on stupid shit that I don't need.

I will stop being such a prick to people.

I will make an effort to enter and maintain a long-term relationship with a woman who isn't a flake and I will not run for the hills if things happen to get serious.

I will master the ukulele.

JasonSmokes · 12-29-2007, 07:23 PM

mother of all hell.. I just puked a little. that's disgusting

Quote:

Originally Posted by minddust

Who's behind smegma.ca while we're talking about it?

Porno Dan · 12-29-2007, 11:56 PM

I have had the same resolution every year - not do heroin - I have made it 38 years without trying it.

At least I keep my resolution.

Halcyon · 12-31-2007, 12:23 PM

well done, Dan!!

Here's my last list!

# Dress like a mime for visits to my girlfriend's parents' house. Answer every question with "I'm trapped in an invisible box." gestures.
#
# Finally finish my excrement sculpture.
#
# Wear a helmet while driving and get a bumper sticker that says, "Airbags are for cheaters."
#
# Start wearing a cape. (But get my girlfriend to stop saying, "faster than a speeding bullet.")
#
# Change my voter registration to the "HugNation" party.
#
# Instead of a wallet, carry my money in a burlap sack with a "$" on it like they have in movie robberies.
#
# Try my hand at log rolling.
#
# Petition insurance carriers to recognize the medicinal uses of pornography.
#
# Shave off my eyebrows and draw them back on in a constantly "surprised" arch.
#
# Whittle a spoon out of a larger wooden spoon.
#
# Stand on a street corner with a "WILL WORK FOR BANDWIDTH" sign.
#
# Streak the winter Olympics.
#
# Explain to everyone who sees me streaking the concept of cold and "shrinkage."
#
# Work to make orange "Cheeto fingers" a vogue fashion trend in Paris
#
# Fight that public indecency charges on "Freedom of Religion" grounds.
#
# Embrace the healing benefits of urine drinking.

FredIsMe · 12-31-2007, 12:27 PM

1. Do some travelling
2. Read at least 1 book a month.
3. Sleep at least 6 hours a day

Elli · 12-31-2007, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babaganoosh

This year, I resolve to make more money. I will stop turning down money. I will stop letting money making situations escape from me (no, I won't blow you for $20). I will join the ranks of GFY sig whores. When a friend's friend's cousin offers me $25 to go over and fix his piece of shit computer, I will take it. I will revive dead sites and start new ones. I will stop spending money on stupid shit that I don't need.

I will stop being such a prick to people.

I will make an effort to enter and maintain a long-term relationship with a woman who isn't a flake and I will not run for the hills if things happen to get serious.

I will master the ukulele.

hehe that's a good list!

AmeliaG · 12-31-2007, 12:39 PM

I'm still working on mine.

12-28-2007, 03:43 PM	#1
Halcyon Spread The Pink! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: TrampStampStudios.com Posts: 8,609	What are your New Year's Resolutions? Here are mine: # Stop using the phrase, ?stinky finger.? # Wean myself off Phonics (I?m hooked) # Convince my Dad that he?s gay. # Avoid Subway Sandwiches (Life is too short to eat a sub where the Mayo is applied with a squeeze-bottle) # Rip out Puff Daddy?s vocal cords and flay him mercilessly across the buttocks. # Figure out what?s causing that rash. # Limber-up enough to perform self-fellatio (If I achieve this, my blog will go on an indefinite hiatus) # Apologize to each member of the NFL for failing to take an interest in their sport. # Get all my friends to sign my cast. (break arm if necessary) # Get over my necrophilia hang-up. # Lobby to get ?Y? the full vowel status it deserves. # Learn to tell the difference between a ?normal? and an ?unhealthy? discharge # Only wear fur coats that block harmful UV rays. # Read the articles in Playboy ( I hear they?re very good) # Boycott all Marijuana grown in Iraq. # Work to lift the taboo on the words, ?felching? and ?smegma? # Stop staring at my co-workers breasts while they talk. # Only listen to music that utilizes F sharp in a flattering way. __________________ HAL on TEDx:

12-28-2007, 05:18 PM	#11
bns666 Confirmed Fetishist Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Fetishland Posts: 11,526	less beer, more wine __________________ ⭐ CAM SODA ⭐ STRIPCHAT ⭐ ⭐ CHATURBATE ⭐ X LOVE CAM ⭐

12-28-2007, 06:08 PM	#13
BlueDesignStudios Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 9,492	hehe nice list you have there! __________________ Blue Design Studios - Adult Design Specialists! Email me for a free quote: [email protected]

12-28-2007, 06:13 PM	#14
Hollywood Horwitz Porn To ROCK! Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Hollywood Posts: 4,357	Great resolutions Hal! Mine are much simpler. 1. exercise twice a week. 2. get my band on tour for a week 3. find a worthy girlfriend that lasts longer than 3 months(average length in LA) __________________ Ross Horwitz Skype: RossAngeles666 Online Ad Sales / Email / Display Ads / Mobile Cell.323.949.4313 [email protected]

12-28-2007, 06:17 PM	#15
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	I resolve to enjoy life as much as possible... and get rid of some dead weight. __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

12-28-2007, 03:44 PM	#2
D Ghost null Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 9,820	To quit being an asshole to people!

12-28-2007, 03:44 PM	#3
minddust Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,438	Who's behind smegma.ca while we're talking about it?

12-28-2007, 03:58 PM	#5
minddust Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,438	I sell short retinas Installation fees waived That's a Bargain

12-28-2007, 04:47 PM	#8
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	Very funny Hal.

12-28-2007, 05:15 PM	#10
papill0n Unregistered Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 15,547	Happy New Year Halycon. I was looking at your 'fossil' pic on flickr yesterday, very moving stuff mate. Take care hey.

12-28-2007, 08:31 PM	#17
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,943	More exercise and less reefer __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

12-28-2007, 08:39 PM	#18
Phill Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 322	Less promiscuous sex. Or wait, was it more Anyways, great list Hal!

12-28-2007, 08:43 PM	#19
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	insure ron paul beats the final boss __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you

12-29-2007, 02:24 PM	#20
Halcyon Spread The Pink! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: TrampStampStudios.com Posts: 8,609	batch number 2: # Learn to determine remaining battery life with my tongue. # Master the Lundy Hop. # Floss. # Force those punks to let me play their reindeer games # Protest non-primary colors. # Impregnate a reptile. # Up my brie intake to 2 wheels/day. # Read the fine print. # Pick which side is my ?good side.? # Conquer my fear of cotton. # Regain my tetherball Championship. # Patent my spanking machine. # Stop teasing gravity. # Skip to work at least 1 day a week. # Skip work at least 1 day a week. # Debate artificial flavors and colors. # Tackle adversity. Tie him up. Tar and feather him. #Have my ?Marry me, Brittany? tattoo covered up with a Celtic design or something. # Stop blood doping for regional athletic competitions and weekend masturbation sessions. # Ask Mom to stop calling me ?Fucko.? # Find a teeter-totter partner closer to my age (and weight). # Buy my own blow-up doll. __________________ HAL on TEDx:

12-29-2007, 05:17 PM	#21
LadyMischief Orgasms N Such! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oakville, Ontario Posts: 18,135	ahhahaha that's awesome my resolutions aren't nearly as colorful. __________________ ICQ 3522039 Content Manager - orgasm.com [email protected]

12-29-2007, 05:30 PM	#22
sweetums Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Icy Hellish Tundra Posts: 2,534	Those are 2 most excellent lists, Hal! My resolution this year....laugh 'til my sides hurt daily __________________ ICQ: 114549321

12-29-2007, 06:56 PM	#23
Tam Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: In your face Posts: 8,486	I don't think I have ever in my life made a New Year's Resolution, it just seemed pointless to me, if I was going to make a change, I shouldn't need a New Year to do it...... I am twisted I know. lol BUT this year my goal is to STOP smoking. I found out I have Type II Diabetes a few months ago and I wanted to quit before, but it was too many changes for my body at one time and the Dr advised me not to make drastic changes all at one time.......... so... I gave it a few months and NOW it is time. For the New Year, I am going to stop smoking.

12-29-2007, 07:11 PM	#24
yumma Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 579	nice.... just do good things! __________________ naked teens finger bang big ass babes ass fucking

12-29-2007, 07:19 PM	#25
Babaganoosh ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: /home Posts: 15,841	This year, I resolve to make more money. I will stop turning down money. I will stop letting money making situations escape from me (no, I won't blow you for $20). I will join the ranks of GFY sig whores. When a friend's friend's cousin offers me $25 to go over and fix his piece of shit computer, I will take it. I will revive dead sites and start new ones. I will stop spending money on stupid shit that I don't need. I will stop being such a prick to people. I will make an effort to enter and maintain a long-term relationship with a woman who isn't a flake and I will not run for the hills if things happen to get serious. I will master the ukulele. __________________ I like pie.

12-29-2007, 11:56 PM	#27
Porno Dan Court Jester Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Budapest Posts: 6,342	I have had the same resolution every year - not do heroin - I have made it 38 years without trying it. At least I keep my resolution. __________________ Reality TV Star, AVN Hall of Fame, Five-Time XBIZ Winner 2021 XBIZ Europe Winner Best Director Site Promote the sites where members get paid to get laid by their favorite porn stars

12-31-2007, 12:23 PM	#28
Halcyon Spread The Pink! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: TrampStampStudios.com Posts: 8,609	well done, Dan!! Here's my last list! # Dress like a mime for visits to my girlfriend's parents' house. Answer every question with "I'm trapped in an invisible box." gestures. # # Finally finish my excrement sculpture. # # Wear a helmet while driving and get a bumper sticker that says, "Airbags are for cheaters." # # Start wearing a cape. (But get my girlfriend to stop saying, "faster than a speeding bullet.") # # Change my voter registration to the "HugNation" party. # # Instead of a wallet, carry my money in a burlap sack with a "$" on it like they have in movie robberies. # # Try my hand at log rolling. # # Petition insurance carriers to recognize the medicinal uses of pornography. # # Shave off my eyebrows and draw them back on in a constantly "surprised" arch. # # Whittle a spoon out of a larger wooden spoon. # # Stand on a street corner with a "WILL WORK FOR BANDWIDTH" sign. # # Streak the winter Olympics. # # Explain to everyone who sees me streaking the concept of cold and "shrinkage." # # Work to make orange "Cheeto fingers" a vogue fashion trend in Paris # # Fight that public indecency charges on "Freedom of Religion" grounds. # # Embrace the healing benefits of urine drinking. __________________ HAL on TEDx:

12-31-2007, 12:27 PM	#29
FredIsMe So Fucking Banned Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Livin' in America Posts: 2,406	1. Do some travelling 2. Read at least 1 book a month. 3. Sleep at least 6 hours a day

12-31-2007, 12:39 PM	#31
AmeliaG Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 10,565	I'm still working on mine. __________________ GFY Hall of Famer AltStar Hall of Famer Blue Blood's SpookyCash.com Babe photography portfolio