Halcyon

Here are mine:


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Stop using the phrase, ?stinky finger.?

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Wean myself off Phonics (I?m hooked)

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Convince my Dad that he?s gay.

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Avoid Subway Sandwiches (Life is too short to eat a sub where the Mayo is applied with a squeeze-bottle)

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Rip out Puff Daddy?s vocal cords and flay him mercilessly across the buttocks.

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Figure out what?s causing that rash.

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Limber-up enough to perform self-fellatio (If I achieve this, my blog will go on an indefinite hiatus)

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Apologize to each member of the NFL for failing to take an interest in their sport.

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Get all my friends to sign my cast. (break arm if necessary)

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Get over my necrophilia hang-up.

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Lobby to get ?Y? the full vowel status it deserves.

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Learn to tell the difference between a ?normal? and an ?unhealthy? discharge

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Only wear fur coats that block harmful UV rays.

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Read the articles in Playboy ( I hear they?re very good)

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Boycott all Marijuana grown in Iraq.

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Work to lift the taboo on the words, ?felching? and ?smegma?

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Stop staring at my co-workers breasts while they talk.

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Only listen to music that utilizes F sharp in a flattering way.

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