My nocturnal adventures - GoFuckYourself.com

Dagwolf · 04-06-2007, 06:24 AM

Life as a blind person can be very exciting. Houasehold appliances, chores and laundry become worthy adversaries which must be respected.

Evil imps move your clothes as soon as you put them on the bathroom shelf before your shower...

Your cats catch on to the new shift in power quickly and you now have thirty seconds to finish your water before they boldly walk up to it and stick their heads in to finish it off.

Today was garbage day. I took the garbage out, no problem but I forgot to bring in the waste can... at 4 a.m. I decided to bing the empty can back in and put a fresh liner in it.

Success! after only three minutes of making an orderly search pattern at the end of my driveway, my foot struck the wastecan and I triumphantly made my way back into the house with it.

That's when the fun started....

Dagwolf · 04-06-2007, 06:31 AM

The box of wastecan liners had been MOVED! Two minutes of grumbling and mutttered cursing later, I began searching for them. It seemed likely to me that they would be in the laundry room so that was my first stop... as soon as I got there I heard a drip and remembered I had forgotten to check a connection on the washing machine I had hooked up the day before, so with the WRONG pliers I I climbed up on top of the washing machine and made some adjustments... Slowed it down but I stll have to go back with the right pliers later.

Slipped off the washer and landed on damp soapy carpet... picked myself up and put away my tools and left.

After which I spent a couple of hours of quality time congratulating myself over two pieces of toast, nine different medications that make me smell like a nursing home and a cup of coffee.

My family will never know of my heroic actions this night. You are priveleged.

Dagwolf · 04-06-2007, 08:34 AM

Hey, this was supposed to be funny.

All true but still... I laough at it. I'm aspiring to be a writer now that I can't really do much reading anymore, although with some tech stuff I should be able to do a lot better soo..

Maybe I'm just not as funny as I think I am. :D I slay myself all the time.

gornyhuy · 04-06-2007, 08:59 AM

I'm confused.
Did I miss something where you became blind?

Dagwolf · 04-07-2007, 05:09 AM

On a good dayYes, I am in fact blind now. My optic nerves are slollen and damaged; I probably have only five percent of the vision I had six months ago.

I can read a computer monitor very slowly, although I'm not always sure whether I'm actually seeing or fooling myself; things I imagine tend to be more vivid than real life objects.

I'd love to go on about it but I'm tired...

04-06-2007, 06:24 AM	#1
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	My nocturnal adventures Life as a blind person can be very exciting. Houasehold appliances, chores and laundry become worthy adversaries which must be respected. Evil imps move your clothes as soon as you put them on the bathroom shelf before your shower... Your cats catch on to the new shift in power quickly and you now have thirty seconds to finish your water before they boldly walk up to it and stick their heads in to finish it off. Today was garbage day. I took the garbage out, no problem but I forgot to bring in the waste can... at 4 a.m. I decided to bing the empty can back in and put a fresh liner in it. Success! after only three minutes of making an orderly search pattern at the end of my driveway, my foot struck the wastecan and I triumphantly made my way back into the house with it. That's when the fun started.... __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

04-06-2007, 06:31 AM	#2
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	The box of wastecan liners had been MOVED! Two minutes of grumbling and mutttered cursing later, I began searching for them. It seemed likely to me that they would be in the laundry room so that was my first stop... as soon as I got there I heard a drip and remembered I had forgotten to check a connection on the washing machine I had hooked up the day before, so with the WRONG pliers I I climbed up on top of the washing machine and made some adjustments... Slowed it down but I stll have to go back with the right pliers later. Slipped off the washer and landed on damp soapy carpet... picked myself up and put away my tools and left. After which I spent a couple of hours of quality time congratulating myself over two pieces of toast, nine different medications that make me smell like a nursing home and a cup of coffee. My family will never know of my heroic actions this night. You are priveleged. __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

04-06-2007, 08:34 AM	#3
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	Hey, this was supposed to be funny. All true but still... I laough at it. I'm aspiring to be a writer now that I can't really do much reading anymore, although with some tech stuff I should be able to do a lot better soo.. Maybe I'm just not as funny as I think I am. :D I slay myself all the time. __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

04-06-2007, 08:59 AM	#4
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	I'm confused. Did I miss something where you became blind? __________________ icq:159548293

04-07-2007, 05:09 AM	#5
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	On a good dayYes, I am in fact blind now. My optic nerves are slollen and damaged; I probably have only five percent of the vision I had six months ago. I can read a computer monitor very slowly, although I'm not always sure whether I'm actually seeing or fooling myself; things I imagine tend to be more vivid than real life objects. I'd love to go on about it but I'm tired... __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.