People often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is - GoFuckYourself.com

Juicy D. Links · 02-01-2007, 10:06 AM

1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising.

3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations.

5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition.

6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.

That's a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

That's Tech Support.

8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing., so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

That's Junk Mail.

9. You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your ass.

That's the Governor of California.

10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were offended.

That's America.

CyberHustler · 02-01-2007, 10:07 AM

good shit...

StuartD · 02-01-2007, 10:08 AM

Sounds pretty accurate to me. They should teach that in Universities

Silly Guy · 02-01-2007, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD

Sounds pretty accurate to me. They should teach that in Universities

would make uni much more fun

marko13 · 02-01-2007, 10:19 AM

good one juicy....

Big_Red · 02-01-2007, 10:21 AM

haha good stuff.

avalanche · 02-01-2007, 10:25 AM

Very good and actually accurate!

AK · 02-01-2007, 10:40 AM

hahahaha... very nice..... i like...

WZRogeR · 02-01-2007, 10:41 AM

heh) good post)

Honez · 02-01-2007, 11:07 AM

Brilliant!

OMG Jim · 02-01-2007, 11:18 AM

Words of experience from the master!

mikeyddddd · 02-01-2007, 11:36 AM

I've seen a few of those. But, not all of em.

woj · 02-01-2007, 11:41 AM

pretty good

gimo33 · 02-01-2007, 11:41 AM

very nice...

MsWild · 02-02-2007, 05:58 AM

haha great stuff

E$_manager · 02-02-2007, 06:12 AM

Great! thank you.

aico · 02-02-2007, 06:18 AM

You're at a party, you see a handsome guy, you go home and fuck him, the next day it hurts when he pees.

That's Viral.

DamageX · 02-02-2007, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD

Sounds pretty accurate to me. They should teach that in Universities

They do. Well, except for the latter points.

markz08 · 02-02-2007, 06:25 AM

hahaha, nice explanation...

Nicky · 02-02-2007, 06:28 AM

Hehehe good one, I liked the one about Arnold

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 02-02-2007, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aico

You're at a party, you see a handsome guy, you go home and fuck him, the next day it hurts when he pees.

That's Viral.

Okay, a few more...

Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Rome. Each had an upturned hat. One had a cross in front of him, while the other had a Star of David.

Many people passed by and looked at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest came by, stopped and watched throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none giving to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally, the priest went over to the beggar behind the Star of David and said, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably deliberately give money to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the Star of David sat and listened to the priest, before turning to the beggar with the cross and saying, "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein Brothers about marketing."

-----

An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing department and support staff of one company.The day of the game, as hard as the marketers tried the support staff beat the marketing department soundly.

In their best tradition the Marketing Department decided to find their best 'spin' they could on the dismal result.They showed how they earned their keep by posting this memo on the bulletin board after the game:

"The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the recently-completed softball season, we came in second place, having lost but one game all year.The Support Department however had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game all season."

-----

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.

If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

ADG Webmaster

Juicy D. Links · 02-02-2007, 06:06 PM

i like this posttttttttttttttt

02-01-2007, 10:06 AM	#1
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	People often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is 1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising. 3. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing. 4. You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations. 5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition. 6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That's a Sales Rep. 7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's Tech Support. 8. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing., so you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" That's Junk Mail. 9. You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and grabs your ass. That's the Governor of California. 10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney decides you were offended. That's America.

02-01-2007, 10:08 AM	#3
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	Sounds pretty accurate to me. They should teach that in Universities __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

02-01-2007, 10:19 AM	#5
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02-01-2007, 10:21 AM	#6
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02-01-2007, 10:25 AM	#7
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02-01-2007, 10:07 AM	#2
CyberHustler Masterbaiter Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 26,562	good shit...

02-01-2007, 10:40 AM	#8
AK MadZuma Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: California Posts: 6,436	hahahaha... very nice..... i like... __________________ Alfonsus Kusuma (AK) ak at madzuma.com skype me - alfonsus.com

02-01-2007, 10:41 AM	#9
WZRogeR My Sig was too Big! :( Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,126	heh) good post) __________________

02-01-2007, 11:07 AM	#10
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02-01-2007, 11:18 AM	#11
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02-01-2007, 11:36 AM	#12
mikeyddddd Viva la vulva! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself Posts: 16,557	I've seen a few of those. But, not all of em. __________________ AdultStarProfits AmbyaCash AnilosCash AzianiGold ColdHardCash FlashTheMoney IdolBucks MediumPimpin NSCash Nubiles PussyCash ScoreCash Sextronix SpunkyCash TubeTitans Twistys

02-01-2007, 11:41 AM	#13
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02-01-2007, 11:41 AM	#14
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02-02-2007, 05:58 AM	#15
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02-02-2007, 06:12 AM	#16
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02-02-2007, 06:18 AM	#17
aico Moo Moo Cow Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 14,748	You're at a party, you see a handsome guy, you go home and fuck him, the next day it hurts when he pees. That's Viral.

02-02-2007, 06:25 AM	#19
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02-02-2007, 06:28 AM	#20
Nicky Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,070	Hehehe good one, I liked the one about Arnold __________________ gfynicky @ gmail.com

02-02-2007, 06:06 PM	#22
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	i like this posttttttttttttttt