CDSmith

Your tirade wasn't a total mess this time actually, until this schoolyard bit of namecalling.

I'd say you come off like a 15 year old, but I know 15 year old's who are more mature than you who would take exception.

999 out of 1000 people are going to think Linkster's ex is a total worthless shitbag, but you're going to sit there and presume to judge the guy and call his character into question?

Amazing.

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Tom_PM

Attacking a completely credible persons credibility is a sure fire way to be seen as an idiot

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gooddomains

what's this all about ?

Pleasurepays

the question could also be asked... "how many scumbag kunts lie and trick guys and get pregnant on purpose, take the kids, dissapear, deny the father his rights as a father, demand more and more and more money"

CDSmith

No, the true scumbags deserve every word of your thread, idiot. But you seem to be completely ignorant of the fact that nearly a dozen people here have pointed out that it is both men AND WOMEN who are deadbeat scumbags worthy of your anger. Idiot.

I'm criticizing you for being an idiot. I've acknowledged the few valid points you've made.

Maybe you need to go back and read your own thread again?

Idiot.

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Pleasurepays

you're not a woman.

CDSmith

This is either m00d (a women of sorts), or DarkJedi (a bitch, of sorts).

I'm convinced of it.

Either way, both twits are fun to up the post count with. :D

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Shelly L

Look, your friend isn't telling you the whole truth. First, men frequently claim to have lost their income to avoid paying child support. It doesn't always depend on "income" but they also consider "assets" etc.
If he REALLY lost his job, then you can go directly to a court and have the judge amend the support order and reallocate parental rights etc. Judges make decisions based on facts. They can make decisions that appear to outsiders to be "bad judgments" but if you saw what they saw, you would understand.

How can anyone defend deadbeat dads?

Shelly L

You are the idiot.
If you want to discuss deadbeat moms, go for it you idiot. Start your own thread. Got it?

Idiot.

Shelly L

You are not a man.

Pleasurepays

pretty sure at this point that you are not even an adult.

Tam

Well FIRST OFF, little Miss Lady........ and I use this term extremely loosely on you. I have seen this happen SO many times. Right here where I live, we have had several male friends that have given money to thier ex wives so as NOT to have to drag everything thru the court system because of the kids. The men would pay the girls like clockwork and at SOME point, these women would always have a bad day and up and decide she wanted more money, so she'd go to the fucking courhouse and slap an order on them saying they never had gotten a dime, and receipt or not, they weren't counted for what they paid because they didn't go thru the court system.... so they had to pay again or go to jail. So YES it does happen and I have sene it with my own eyes.

You REALLY need to stop calling all these men scumbags and get a life other than the one you currently have because this one isn't working so well for you it seems. And I can tell you ONE thing for sure right now........ if your atttitude is with your ex like it is with these people here who have done nothing to you, then it is no wonder he wants nothing to do with you.

You REALLY need to lay off, Linkster didn't do anything to you and neither did 99% of these other people. And just because YOU don't know how things are supposed to work, how DARE you call someone a liar when you don't seem to get anything either.

GET A LIFE!! You are being pretty pathetic and making me more and more sad about being a woman with every post you make. This is insane.

Shelly L

A lot of "guys" have pointed out all sorts of OTHER questions that could be asked. WELL GO AHEAD AND ASK!!! POST YOUR OWN THREAD WITH THAT SUBJECT IF YOU REALLY CARE! If you are just pointing out one of a thousand other possible questions and you don't care that much about it, then just stop posting please. This thread is about deadbeat dads and the fact that they are scumbags. Stay on topic or get out.

Pleasurepays

hey! i found your ex. look what you drove him to with your bullshit.

Linkster

- Original Quote from the original post - "I got divorced while I was in the military so I was docked the 70% maximum that the military allows a divorced wife to get"

Sure - if youre an officer in the military or on trial for murder - otherwise - if youre under the ocean on a submarine you tend to get "left behind" - things look great on JAG (tv) but its not how it really happens

Believe what you want - yes some of us "MEN" still love the women that fuck us over - and as far as the sytem - sure it might work a little better now but in the 70s it didnt work worth a shit - and no - there were no collection notices and yes - there was a 1 monthe delay every month (according to my exwife - again I didnt have a clue as I was just going by what she told me - I was just trying to do the right thing by my kids)

To give you an idea of what a man has to go through to get access to kids after a mother throws kids into foster care - it took over 6 years to find them, then it took another 4 years to get access to their social worker - if you can find the right one, then it takes about 5 years of proving that you werent the person that put them there - you might want to go sit in on a few classes they give to social workers on avoidism

OK - heres the last detail you really need - after I got back from serving on submarines for 12 years in the Indian Ocean (where I was when this happened) - I got out of the Navy as they werent paying me enough to pay the child support and for me to pay my expenses - and I got a job working at a nuclear power plant as a physicist - I got a little pay raise and started sending more money to my "kids"(or so I thought), and 3 years later was hauled out of the plant in handcuffs with a warrant for my arrest for non-payment of child support - thats how I ended up in court showing all of the cancelled checks for the last 15 years - that basically got thrown aside - and if you would like copies I still have them as well as all of the court orders and the final decision of the jucge specifically saying that since I had paid that 78,000 to her directly it didnt count and was considered a gift

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Shelly L

You make other women sad that you are claiming to be a "woman."

Deadbeat dads are bastards. I'm not saying any more or any less.

Now, if you want to address pleasurepays and his maturity etc. then go ahead. I never called anybody a name without being called one first. Think about that you poor excuse for a woman. Switch over to the "man" side. We don't need spineless people on our side.

CDSmith

No, this thread is about you and the huge chip you have on your shoulder for not only the obviously smart guy that left you high and dry but your newfound hatred for all men in general. No one here that matters is arguing that bonified deadbeat parents aren't a bunch of jerks who need to get their act together.

But when you jump the shit of a guy like Linkster and go cocking off like a fucking idiot on everyone who disagrees with even the smallest point of yours, well.... you're inviting the shit you're going to have to eat.

Got a big enough spoon?

You really are sounding a lot like m00d in your posts. Your attitude is complete shit.

Oh, and there's only 10 days left before PussyCash drops their H-bomb.

Got hummer tickets? :D

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rants

If I broke up with my bf or divorced my husbad, I wouldn't care if I didn't get child support. I make more than my bf does anyways ( a lot more), in the six figures, I can easily support myself and any child (if I ever want them which I doubt). The only thing I would be against is supporting the FATHER financially, but I can support myself and if I had kids fine.

I make more than enough and don't need a penny from any man. If they want to support their kid then that's great, but I'm not destitute or poor and I will always have enough money whether I'm with a man or not.

Linkster

One other thing to remember is that when I was going through all of this, most of the laws that govern child support hadnt been enacted yet - you peole nowadays live in a court systen that is completely different than 20 years ago

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Tam

My husband never called you a name, he made a joke and he is a scumbag drunk.... and has had maybe all of two drinks in his life... and now you are calling Linkster a liar and a scumbag because YOU think he isn't being honest, when I happen to know and have seen this done to many of my friends.

You can call me what you want, I have been called way worse by way better people, and trust me, I'll not lose much sleep by having your opinion of me thrown in my face. But you came here and are calling everyone here liars, scumbags, drunks and god knows what all for NO reason. If YOU were worked over, this is bad and I am sorry for you, but this doesn't make ALL men scumbags and deadbeats....... or DRUNKS!!!! So knock it off, you are categorizing people and that drives me mad. Just stop it, YOU started this, now be big enough to listen to what people tell you without assuming they are your deadbeat EX......... not all men are pigs and not all women are bitches. Remember that!!

HouseHead

Thats why me have no kids at the moment

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Shelly L

What happened to that money? Where exactly did it go? Who took it in and who paid it out and who received it? See, we weren't even talking about this money anyway. We were talking about the 50% for 15 years as clearly stated in the thread.

So, you basically failed to ask for assistance. The military would have provided you with an attorney. I know this for a FACT!

jag, you are a loser.




Who told you to pay her? Did they tell you how much to pay? Did they tell you exactly how to pay and where to send it? YOU ARE AN IDIOT!

The right thing would have been to follow the court order.


Sorry, nobody is going to believe this. You are trying to tell me that you KNEW THEY WERE IN FOSTER CARE YET YOU CONTINUED TO PAY SUPPORT TO YOUR WIFE? See how your story continues to fall apart. 15 years you knew that they were in foster care and couldn't find them, yet somehow you were unable to PROVE THAT THEY WEREN'T WITH YOUR EX? SOMEHOW YOU CONTINUED TO PAY HER CHILD SUPPORT WHILE YOU KNEW YOUR KIDS WERE IN FOSTER CARE???? Just admit that this whole thing is a lie. You are making this up as you go along. This is flat out crazy!

See how you so sneakishly you added I wasn't getting paid enough to pay child support (and my expenses) in the navy. Bullshit.

Then you say you got a "little pay raise" and decided to start sending MORE money to your "kids." Who told you to pay the original amount? Who told you how much you should pay after you got the pay increase? You just made it up or what? This is pure bullshit.

You deserve what you get for not following a court order. That is all that needs to be said about that. You have ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME!!! Do what the court tells you and NONE OF THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!! GOT IT???




So, who put handcuffs on you and why? Evidently somebody was aware that you were not paying your court ordered support

Jimmer

How about my scumbag wife who never paid me support.

CDSmith

I can only imagine how I'd feel and have felt in your situation man.

Incredible story.

All I can say is it's a great thing to see that you've come through it in one piece and are obviously a solid genuine caring person with a hell of a lot of tolerance for the impudence and arrogance of others.

I bet in the time you did get with your kids you were a good dad.

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micker

the solution to this whole thing is quite simple...

Some enterprising company needs to create a an EBT/CashCard/DebitCard style system, into which child support payments are deposited. Then, give access to the account statement to the support paying parent as well.

Paper trails are a necessity in this day and age. The current methods of child support disbursement wouldn't even be compliant to the federal standards of accountability we hold businesses to.

The paying parent has a right to know what their money is being spent on.

Shelly L

Jesus christ, 1986? That IS ancient history. Did we even have divorce laws way back then?

Give me the state that ordered yo to pay support and I will look up the laws at the time. The only things that have probably changed are the income/payment numbers on the charts. You are just trying to make people think you tried to do the right thing but you didn't do anything right. Sorry, but YOU chose to do everything wrong, so if you got fucked over, then blame yourself, ok? It is really very simple.
I also know you are leaving out a bunch of info.

WHO TOLD YOU TO PAY ORIGINALLY? HOW MUCH? WHO DID YOU PAY TO? WHEN YOU GOT A PAY INCREASE, WHO TOLD YOU TO ADJUST YOUR SUPPORT PAYMENTS? WHO DID THEY SAY YOU SHOULD PAY? HOW MUCH DID THEY TELL YOU TO PAY?

Shelly L

Wow, that sucks! Start a thread about it. Got the concept of this board? NEW TOPIC is what you should be looking for.

Phil21

I don't think GFY is a place to have a rational conversation on something that will be this emotionally charged Too many personal experiences, some with only part of the information available to them, and a few of course being willfully ignorant on some of the issues.

Anyone that doesn't "take care of their kids" needs to be shot. Period.

Now.. going offtopic a bit...

However, the current child support system (at least in many states - some I've heard of sound perhaps starting to go on the sane side of things) is very broken, for a large percentage of the people it tries to "help".

For example.. in my state...

Courts *are required by law* to set child support at 35% of gross income. Sounds fair right? Perhaps at a lower income level, it does work and might be fair. However, when you have parents hitting tax brackets of 40% or even higher, how is one to live on the remainder left over? If someone is making $150k/yr in a standard job, there are certain expectations many positions require of you in order to KEEP that income - a nice car to bring clients around in, dressing nice for client visits, etc. If that was a tax writeoff, it'd be a whole lot more fair, in my opinion. Remember, with the above math (which is fairly reasonable, and other for some salary numbers being changed around I have first hand experience of), that means $4300/mo to the custodial parent, $5,000/mo to taxes, and $3200 left over. This is ignoring child care and medical (which the non-custodial parent pays 50% of typically). Do you truly feel it's fair that the non-custodial parent "takes home" more money per month than the one paying in? This isn't a flame question, some actually do feel it is for seemingly rational reasons, but obviously others (myself included) do not.

The other *huge* problem is that child support doesn't change with income here. This scares me more than anything. Pretend I'm doing great when child support amount is set, no big deal, yes I may feel the amount is such that very much is not actually going to the child, but it's my responsibility to take care of. However, income levels can vary drastically in my field. Should I become unemployed or underemployed for even a couple months, there is absolutely no way I'd be able to afford those payments. 2 months of not making full payments (even if I'm sending in every possible extra dime I can scratch together) means license is suspended. Now, I just entirely lost my ability to even TRY to get back to that income level.

Sure, I can petition the court for an adjustment. However, getting a court date here averages around 6-9 months, of which time the old payment amount still is adding up (you cannot retroactively change it downwards). Also, due to a legion of other deadbeat motherfuckers the court likely will look at me like a criminal anyways, and say I "purposely" lost my income in order to avoid paying. So, essentially if I hit the job lottery and pick up a nice paying job for a few years, then go back down to a "normal" salary - it's exceedingly difficult to get the payment re-set to something realistic.


I could also chime in with my personal ancedote (which I had written) - but that will simply serve more to inflame than offer any amount of true dialogue. Of course, that assumes your intentions were to create any amount of reasonable discussion

The TRUE tragedy of the system is that it makes both parties feel like they are being screwed. If both parties are trying for the same goal of "a good life for their child", no one is a winner - especially the kids. Thus, more and more folks appear to be realizing this, and are keeping what can be kept out of the system. IMO, the "system" should be a last resort if one party is fucking over the other (either a deadbeat dad not taking care of his child, or a mother demanding more than what should be a fair amount and doing REAL shitty things like witholding visitation in liue of money).

So.. my two cents. Let the flames continue

-Phil

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yota71

Maybe if she would have stopped blowing everyone she could get her hands on I would have stuck around. It also helps If the child support she gets from me actually gets spent on my child instead of new shoes and drinks at the bar. Don't generalize...Millions of GOOD fathers get fu**** over buy there wives and the system I?m sorry if yours is a jerk...

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Laguna Beach Babe

wow. nail on the head.

phil = ace


now, tam and songrider need to turn in their passwords and not come back to this board. tam, songrider attacked shelly first. then, you insulted her as well. when she threw names back, then you acted all offended. sorry but you and your husband are as clear as crystal and shelly shouldn't hesitate to put the two of you in your place. re-read the thread.

CDSmith

Brilliant post Phil. And a ray of light in this otherwise urine-soaked thread.

:D

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yota71

WOW I need to move......50% here and I can't even begin to tell you how screwed up the system is. The county jails are full of fathers that are behind for amounts as low as $500.00 and they will probably never get caught up since they are serving time. Once they get out they get get thrown right back in for the rears that accured while they where in jail. You put that system in a place that has very little employment and high taxes and utility's your screwed.

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Tam

VERY well said. What no one is mentioning here is the KIDS!! So Shelly, are your kids allowed to see their dad? And when you are with them, do you run him down to your kids? Do you tell them what a piece of garbage their dad is and turn them on their Dad? Likewise, does he do this same thing to them when you aren't around? And I wonder how this makes them feel? I can tell you how it makes them feel. It makes them feel like they don't matter......... that all you are worried about is MONEY and all he is worried about is whatever, can't say about him because he isn't here. Do you keep your kids from having a decent relationship with their Dad for THEIR sake?

This is a game my mom and dad played on me all of my life...... I have been told that they wished I was never born because then they wouldn't have to deal with each other..... and then when they are spewing all this hatred for the other, and then tell me I am just like the other parent, how do you think this makes a child feel? Are you REALLY worried about your children here or are you worried about the almighty buck?

I don't have ANY relationship with EITHER of my parents to this day because of what they have done to me based on their hatred for the other parent. Are you prepared to deal with this when your children get older and can make up their own minds? Who will they choose? You? Him? Or like me, will they choose neither because it is just too much to take? When they have children, will you have a relationship with them if they won't speak to you?

These are things you best be considering now, girl....... you best be putting your children's feeling ahead of your own and buck up and deal with it without involving them, trust me, it will NOT end well for you when they are older.

Tam

As I mentioned, we were joking, neither of us called her a name..... maybe YOU should go back and read. SongRider said something silly just playing around and she called him a drunk? Was that fair? And I responded to him as a joke....... AND as you will read when YOU go back and read what I said...... I KNOW THIS IS A SERIOUS TOPIC, but honestly, who do you think is going to come in here and announce "I am a deadbeat parent"?? Get real, who is going to do that?

I DO realize this is a serious issue, as I stated a few times.. but come on, can you honestly sit there and think that Shelly has a right to call ALL men deadbeats with every post they make? Or liars? Or trailer Trash or whatever? Not ALL men are deadbeats or scumbags or drunks. and by the same token, alot of what is being said here IS exactly right. When a woman doesn't pay childsupport, it should damn well be held as the same level of punishment that a man suffers when he doesn't pay.

But coming HERE, to GFY and going off on everyone here because SHE has a bad experience, well that is just plain silly. If you aren't prepared to deal with the seriousness of what you are trying to convey when people start to voice their opinions then maybe you shouldn't open your moouth. NEVER open it for public opinion if you aren't ready for ALL sides of the opinions. And in MY opinion, she is out of line with a LOT of the people here.

CDSmith

Three whole posts and you're coming on here telling longtime members they need to "turn in their passwords"??

What YOU need is to get a clue, like your friend (or co-alias as the case may be) Shelly does.

I just read the first few pages of this thread over again. Shelly comes off like a mouthy 2nd grader in several posts, a barely tolerable annoying troll in others. And you want to support that?

Some days the saddest part of GFY is that anyone can register.

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rants

Laguna Beach Babe, have you ever met Kristin Cavalleri , Stephen Colleti or LC from that show "Laguna Beach"? It's a small town and not hard to run into them I think, I know Kristin already moved to LA, but I mean before that....

Big John

Interesting how many people treat 'Shelly' as an annoying women rather than how 'she' reads to me - an idiot male who gets kicks out of pretending to be a woman and trolling on boards.

The subject is a very serious issue for many people and deserves some debate but not with the troll who started it, be it male or female. Any points he made are designed to inflame rather than be valid debate.

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SmokeyTheBear

idiot woman

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Manowar

this thread sucks

Abithefiend

[QUOTE=crockett].

IMO as it was posted in the other thread, if the guy can go to jail for not paying then the wife should have to itemize where the money goes each month.

QUOTE]

I agree. I don't see why the man should have to pay for anything other than what his child needs. She SHOULD have to itemize her spending since it's his money that is supposed to be spent on the child. Sadly it seems there are a lot of these women spending it on themselves.

Shelly L

Interesting thoughts on a very bad situation. Maybe you could start a thread since it has nothing to do with my thread. Protecting the children is a very big concern for people who are separating or divorcing and should be discussed. I appreciate your insight into that terrible problem that some have.

Shelly L

Cdsmith, you need to find a girlfriend. This thread has nothing to with anything but deadbeat dads. If other people post on other subjects, then that is their problem. Keep to the topic. If you want to talk about me, then be ready to hear it back. You should consider yourself a pathetic troll trying to, well I don't know exactly what your purpose is here. Why do you keep posting? Why don't you think about why you feel so strongly about my opinion that deadbeat dads need to pay child support. I think you should start a thread because you haven't been on topic yet, you scumbag bitch.

CDSmith

What are you, like 5?

ALL of my posts up to the point where I realized you were an idiot troll posing as a woman were dead nuts on topic. I've posted several agreements with your view of actual deadbeat dads, but like others have also partaken in further discussion on a wider scope because this issue isn't quite as narrow as your mind would have people believe.

You're like a child, you want everyone to just up and agree with you and leave it at that, and that works great when you're in pre-school. Here in the real world though you're always going to have people inputing variables into an inflammatory topic such as this.

And you have no idea what my life experience is with respect to family, troll, but keep talking out of your ass, it amuses me.

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drama

I am a deadbeat dad. The fucking slut told me she was on the pill and could not get knocked up. Now they expect me to pay for a bastard that i didnt want and should have never had because this fucking hahahaha lied to me?!

Fuck you douchebag. I would rather live on he streets or blow my fucking brains otu with a 45 than to give that hahahaha who thought she could trap me.

drama

i rather spend the $75K to have the bastard wiped out than to put it in her pocket

KRL

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chase

I went with my ex-husband to child support court once, for his oldest daughter, whom he was never able to see because her mother and grandmother are twats. I was having MS symptoms and was under care of a neurologist at the time, and I was unable to work. We also had four children in the home, two of which were not in school, and one of which was a newborn, so that made me working outside the home useless as everything I made went to daycare. My husband made barely enough to support the kids in our home who only had us to support them, but we made too much to get any help through the state until my medical problems were cleared up. On top of all of this, it was four weeks shy of the date that the money they had taken from our income tax return would be distributed to the mother, effectively paying off all but $50 of what he was behind.

We explained all of this, and brought documented proof of all our statements. The judge put him in jail with a purge that meant after we borrowed it to get him out, (because with him in jail, not only would his daughter not get any support at all from him, neither would any of our kids at home, and with me sick I couldn't pick up the slack, and we would have lost our home, lost everything, and we literally would have had to live in a shelter to survive.), we had paid double what he owed between the purge and the payment that was distributed in a few weeks. (For some reason, they hold tax return money for six months before giving it to the child support recipient.)

The judge didn't give a shit about any of it.

Not too long ago, his daughter asked that her step-dad adopt her. My husband struggled with the decision, but decided if it was what she wanted, he would allow it, but he would still always be there for her. I just found out when I was doing his taxes for him that he puts away what he used to be ordered to pay in CS into an investment account for her. That's the kind of dad they can throw in jail over child support. (that he already paid.)

Oh, and the guy who went up just before my husband was $64,000 behind, had never made a single payment, had just received a $21k SSI payment and had not put a dollar of it towards his child support, and he walked out of there with three weeks to pay $2k. Oh, he had no children at home to take care of, and had a wife who worked, as well, too.

I'm really thankful that period in our lives is over, and both my ex-husband and I are doing pretty decent for ourselves these days. He sees our kids almost every day, and he always pays support to me for them, and he doesn't have to worry about where it goes. I actually asked for LESS than what the guidelines said he should pay, because all I wanted was what his half of their support would be, and at this time, it's less than what the state requires. Mostly because I am as thrifty as it gets, lol.

My point is that sometimes guys do get fucked when they are trying their best to keep things together. Illnesses come up, loss of jobs, natural disasters, etc. Sometimes a "deadbeat" dad isn't trying to be selfish, or a deadbeat, but sometimes he's in a rough patch. I think if that's the case, mothers and judges should work with that father, and not just send him to jail, which does no one any good.

Before my son's father died, he was $5k behind in support. I never once took him to court about it. Because he had three kids and a wife to take care of, and he wouldn't do my son, or them, any good sitting in jail. My son had what he needed, and it was far more important to me that his relationship with his father be fostered than that I get support for him. I am thankful every day for that choice, because three years ago he was killed in a car accident, and I can say that I was never the cause of my son missing out on precious time with his father, and I can sit down and have coffee with my boy's step-mom, and we can foster his relationships with his siblings and step-mom. That means more than ANY amount of money. Sometimes there isn't a clear cut right and wrong. Sometiumes there is a little bit of both and you just have to decide which is more right for you, and for me, it was more right that my son know his daddy than that I know his money.

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HotPussyCat

What about the scumbags mothers that do nothing but bitch, not work and not pay attention to the kids they have that the father is paying support for because they are to busy fucking every guy in town in hopes to get someone else to take care of their lazy ass. The kids should be with the father but guess what moms to lazy to get a job and wants the support money.

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Why don't you admit how you really feel.....You miss him a lot now do you?

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Tam

Good morning Shelly..... umm.. I mean drama.......... LMAO