People hate telemarketers more than ever these days, obviously... - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 04-17-2006, 04:46 PM

Check out what this one guy did to one....

"The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I
answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer". Not sounding
anything like my name, I asked who is calling.

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer
Company or something like that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl
personally and why was he calling this number.

I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various
angles and the blood smears", I then turned back to the phone and
advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay
on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be
receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone
number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead
guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he
made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were
given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position
and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at
that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming
down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen
minutes. My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long
time."

Poor poor telemarketer just doing his job

But I like it.

www.jokesbee.com :D

WiredGuy · 04-17-2006, 05:01 PM

That's freaking awesome !
WG

Yngwie · 04-17-2006, 05:23 PM

lol that's good. I hate fucking telemarketers.

Raven · 04-17-2006, 05:34 PM

That WAS fun....

Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about telemarketers?

minusonebit · 04-17-2006, 05:36 PM

Telemarketers should be put in front of a firing squad and shot and the execution should be shown on Pay Per View and the revenue donated to a children's charity.

Scootermuze · 04-17-2006, 05:45 PM

If my caller id shows unknown number or a number I don't recognize, I don't bother answering.. And seldom do they leave a msg..

reynold · 04-17-2006, 06:13 PM

some telemarketing spiels are just freaking hilarious

Evil1 · 04-17-2006, 06:14 PM

I usually just play this .wav file and try like hell not to laugh when they call. Fuckers never accept the charges!

Spunky · 04-17-2006, 06:51 PM

I just say hold a minute I have something on the stove and I leave them hanging

mechanicvirus · 04-17-2006, 06:53 PM

LOL that's great, the guy probably shit himself twice.

CDSmith · 04-17-2006, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

I just say hold a minute I have something on the stove and I leave them hanging

Yup, that's the "Andy Rooney" method. I've used that several times.

BlackCrayon · 04-17-2006, 09:36 PM

lol, i've done stuff like that but never to that extreme. mostly just acting retarded or telling them im on the welfare and have to eat cat food to survive.

Vitasoy · 04-18-2006, 01:41 PM

Lol... that was great.

Bama · 04-18-2006, 01:50 PM

I've had this program for 2 months now and LOOOOOOOOVE it!

Most all telemarketers have their phones set up as Private or as Non-Published and I have my Iobi set up to ignore any calls coming from those 2 types of phone numbers so my phone never even rings. It does a ton of other stuff too.

https://www22.verizon.com/iobi/

CDSmith · 04-18-2006, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bama

I've had this program for 2 months now and LOOOOOOOOVE it!

Most all telemarketers have their phones set up as Private or as Non-Published and I have my Iobi set up to ignore any calls coming from those 2 types of phone numbers so my phone never even rings. It does a ton of other stuff too.

https://www22.verizon.com/iobi/

Nice. Enjoy the peace and quiet. :D

BluewireAngie · 04-18-2006, 01:58 PM

That's a new line. Aside from "Why are you people fucking call me every second, every minute every hour of my fuking Day!!! Will you put me on your DO NOT CALL LIST!!!!"

CDSmith · 04-18-2006, 02:07 PM

Last year Capital One was calling me every day, about 4 to 5 times per day, for over two months straight. In the first month I picked up the phone once and asked them nicely to remove me from their list, as I have no need for their credit card whatsoever. I was told it could take "up to a month" for my name and number to be fully purged from their system.

Uh, okay, whatever.

The calls went on for nearly another month, every fucking day. Of course I never answered any of them, as I have call display on my phones.

Until one day I read Andy Rooney's suggestion about how to handle them. I picked up the phone that evening when they called, said "Oh, okay, can you hang on for a moment? I have something on the stove I need to turn down"
Put the phone down on the table and went back to my computer nearby and continued my work.

She must have gotten the hint, because they never called back. :D

"Just doing their job" or not, telefuckheads deserve to get what's coming to them, period.

anne · 04-18-2006, 02:30 PM

Telemarketers are almost worse then spammers. At least with spam it only takes me a min to delete and I dont heve to read it. I just hang up on telemarketers that and having a private number helps a lot.

majorbitch · 04-18-2006, 02:59 PM

I need to try that some time.

BlackCrayon · 04-19-2006, 07:07 AM

i had a telemarketer call yesterday. these people just don't get it. i told them i don't want it, don't need it. so they stop for a few weeks, then start back up again. i hang up on them without even talking to them. they call the next day so i just keep saying 'que?' after everything they said. didn't take long for them to hang up.

CDSmith · 04-19-2006, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

i had a telemarketer call yesterday. these people just don't get it. i told them i don't want it, don't need it. so they stop for a few weeks, then start back up again. i hang up on them without even talking to them. they call the next day so i just keep saying 'que?' after everything they said. didn't take long for them to hang up.

The thing about them is, there are so many of them, they all work from lists, and the most important thing is that they value their time.

Knowing all that, people have found some pretty clever ways of sticking it to them. :D

I still love the Seinfeld method....
"Hello"
"Hello Mr Seinfeld, we're conducting research into the bla blah blahh.."
"Excuse me, now's not a good time, can I get your name and home number so I can call you back later when it's more convenient?"
"uhh, that's not something we generally do sir"
"Hmm, yes, you probably don't want people calling you at home and bothering you during dinner etc"
"Yes sir, that's correct"
"Well now you know how I feel"
>*click*<

Wiggles · 04-19-2006, 12:26 PM

haha some people are so gullible.

tyler. · 04-19-2006, 02:42 PM

great story , should try something like that next time

RhiannonAPM · 04-19-2006, 02:48 PM

I always say something like " Im sorry you have the wrong number and please dont call back" But next time I will try the walk away with the phone off the hook thing lol

CDSmith · 05-19-2008, 02:41 PM

Do telemarketers still bother anyone?

Through the use of call display I just never answer calls from numbers I don't recognize. Ever. Telemarketers generally don't leave messages but the ones that do just get introduced to the delete button.

Still I'd one day like to try that thing from the original post in this thread. Just once, for fun.

tranza · 05-19-2008, 02:53 PM

There's an audio version of that joke.

Horny Dude · 05-19-2008, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranza

There's an audio version of that joke.

Yeah some Radio DJ pulled that off. Shoot I used to have it bookmarked. Was funny as hell listening to the telemarketer try and talk himself off the phone!

Ayla_SquareTurtle · 05-19-2008, 02:58 PM

My dad has a referee whistle hanging on a hook in the living room. When telemarketers call, he says tells them to hang on and then grabs the whistle. I'm sure you can work out what happens next.

CDSmith · 05-19-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horny Dude

Yeah some Radio DJ pulled that off. Shoot I used to have it bookmarked. Was funny as hell listening to the telemarketer try and talk himself off the phone!

If any of you guys can find it, post a link. I'd love to hear that.

u-Bob · 05-19-2008, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayla_SquareTurtle

My dad has a referee whistle hanging on a hook in the living room. When telemarketers call, he says tells them to hang on and then grabs the whistle. I'm sure you can work out what happens next.

hehe

uno · 05-19-2008, 03:33 PM

I've been on the do not call lists since they've been introduced. I almost never get calls I don't want.

05-19-2008, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

If any of you guys can find it, post a link. I'd love to hear that.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=fd4MKflsPtg

CDSmith · 05-19-2008, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evildick

https://youtube.com/watch?v=fd4MKflsPtg

Priceless.

The part where he asks the guy if he was "Mr Mabe's gay lover"....

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 05-19-2008, 09:17 PM

my phone seriously rings about 3-5 times a day from these telemarketing cocksuckers. when i'm bored i just pick up the phone some i can go ballistic on someone...

04-17-2006, 04:46 PM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	People hate telemarketers more than ever these days, obviously... Check out what this one guy did to one.... "The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer". Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number. I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears", I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case. I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away. My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time." Poor poor telemarketer just doing his job But I like it. www.jokesbee.com :D __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

04-17-2006, 05:01 PM	#2
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,491	That's freaking awesome ! WG __________________ I play with Google.

04-17-2006, 05:23 PM	#3
Yngwie I am an Alien from space Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 11,118	lol that's good. I hate fucking telemarketers. __________________ ICQ: 16544251 - Skype: gator37 @ eastlink.ca - email: yngwie @ isys.ca

04-17-2006, 05:34 PM	#4
Raven Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 6,874	That WAS fun.... Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about telemarketers? __________________ Raven ~RETIRED~

04-17-2006, 06:14 PM	#8
Evil1 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 3,893	I usually just play this .wav file and try like hell not to laugh when they call. Fuckers never accept the charges! __________________

04-17-2006, 05:36 PM	#5
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391	Telemarketers should be put in front of a firing squad and shot and the execution should be shown on Pay Per View and the revenue donated to a children's charity.

04-17-2006, 05:45 PM	#6
Scootermuze Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 4,513	If my caller id shows unknown number or a number I don't recognize, I don't bother answering.. And seldom do they leave a msg..

04-17-2006, 06:13 PM	#7
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	some telemarketing spiels are just freaking hilarious

04-17-2006, 06:51 PM	#9
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	I just say hold a minute I have something on the stove and I leave them hanging __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

04-17-2006, 06:53 PM	#10
mechanicvirus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,974	LOL that's great, the guy probably shit himself twice.

04-17-2006, 09:36 PM	#12
BlackCrayon Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Ottawa Posts: 19,631	lol, i've done stuff like that but never to that extreme. mostly just acting retarded or telling them im on the welfare and have to eat cat food to survive. __________________ you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

04-18-2006, 01:41 PM	#13
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	Lol... that was great. __________________ [email protected]

04-18-2006, 01:50 PM	#14
Bama Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Redmond, WA Posts: 2,727	I've had this program for 2 months now and LOOOOOOOOVE it! Most all telemarketers have their phones set up as Private or as Non-Published and I have my Iobi set up to ignore any calls coming from those 2 types of phone numbers so my phone never even rings. It does a ton of other stuff too. https://www22.verizon.com/iobi/ Last edited by Bama; 04-18-2006 at 01:52 PM..

04-18-2006, 01:58 PM	#16
BluewireAngie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Makati Posts: 4,643	That's a new line. Aside from "Why are you people fucking call me every second, every minute every hour of my fuking Day!!! Will you put me on your DO NOT CALL LIST!!!!" __________________ Web Design & Programming - Creative Mainstream Style Web Design and Programming PORTFOLIO Custom Cartoons - High Quality Cartoon Studio PORTFOLIO Offshore Staff - Save Money & Grow Faster With Dedicated Offshore Staff PRICING ICQ:282-072-512

04-18-2006, 02:07 PM	#17
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Last year Capital One was calling me every day, about 4 to 5 times per day, for over two months straight. In the first month I picked up the phone once and asked them nicely to remove me from their list, as I have no need for their credit card whatsoever. I was told it could take "up to a month" for my name and number to be fully purged from their system. Uh, okay, whatever. The calls went on for nearly another month, every fucking day. Of course I never answered any of them, as I have call display on my phones. Until one day I read Andy Rooney's suggestion about how to handle them. I picked up the phone that evening when they called, said "Oh, okay, can you hang on for a moment? I have something on the stove I need to turn down" Put the phone down on the table and went back to my computer nearby and continued my work. She must have gotten the hint, because they never called back. :D "Just doing their job" or not, telefuckheads deserve to get what's coming to them, period. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

04-18-2006, 02:30 PM	#18
anne Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: In the Woods Posts: 1,149	Telemarketers are almost worse then spammers. At least with spam it only takes me a min to delete and I dont heve to read it. I just hang up on telemarketers that and having a private number helps a lot. __________________ MooCash Get some MooLa email: [email protected] icq 116496347

04-18-2006, 02:59 PM	#19
majorbitch Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 708	I need to try that some time. __________________

04-19-2006, 07:07 AM	#20
BlackCrayon Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Ottawa Posts: 19,631	i had a telemarketer call yesterday. these people just don't get it. i told them i don't want it, don't need it. so they stop for a few weeks, then start back up again. i hang up on them without even talking to them. they call the next day so i just keep saying 'que?' after everything they said. didn't take long for them to hang up. __________________ you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

04-19-2006, 12:26 PM	#22
Wiggles Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 14,423	haha some people are so gullible. __________________ no sig

04-19-2006, 02:42 PM	#23
tyler. Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,653	great story , should try something like that next time

04-19-2006, 02:48 PM	#24
RhiannonAPM Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 728	I always say something like " Im sorry you have the wrong number and please dont call back" But next time I will try the walk away with the phone off the hook thing lol __________________ ICQ---257-820-736

05-19-2008, 02:41 PM	#25
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Do telemarketers still bother anyone? Through the use of call display I just never answer calls from numbers I don't recognize. Ever. Telemarketers generally don't leave messages but the ones that do just get introduced to the delete button. Still I'd one day like to try that thing from the original post in this thread. Just once, for fun. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

05-19-2008, 02:53 PM	#26
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	There's an audio version of that joke. __________________ I'm just a newbie.

05-19-2008, 02:58 PM	#28
Ayla_SquareTurtle Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: 5000 full paysite reviews and counting Posts: 3,550	My dad has a referee whistle hanging on a hook in the living room. When telemarketers call, he says tells them to hang on and then grabs the whistle. I'm sure you can work out what happens next. __________________ gone. long gone. aylasquareturtle .."a"t".. gmail dawt com

05-19-2008, 03:33 PM	#31
uno RIP Dodger. BEST.CAT.EVER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: NYC Area Posts: 18,450	I've been on the do not call lists since they've been introduced. I almost never get calls I don't want. __________________ -uno icq: 111-914 CrazyBabe.com - porn art MojoHost - For all your hosting needs, present and future. Tell them I sent ya!

05-19-2008, 09:17 PM	#34
Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life (felis madjewicus) Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In Mom & Dad's Basement Posts: 20,368	my phone seriously rings about 3-5 times a day from these telemarketing cocksuckers. when i'm bored i just pick up the phone some i can go ballistic on someone...