Something To Offend Damn Near Everyone - GoFuckYourself.com

Juicy D. Links · 03-19-2002, 07:05 PM

SOMETHING TO OFFEND DAMN NEAR EVERYONE

Q. What's the Cuban national anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment

Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp.

Q. Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along
with a recipe.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United
States

Amputate Your Head · 03-19-2002, 07:09 PM

I'm not offended.... I feel left out.

Naughty · 03-19-2002, 07:10 PM

[Labret] · 03-19-2002, 07:12 PM

Damnit, I find none of that offensive.

Q: What do you call a ****** with a new bike?
A: A thief.

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
******s.

What's the difference between dog shit and ******s?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.

How do you stop a ****** from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head

How do you get a ****** out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

Why do ******s stink?
So blind people can hate them too.

What do you call 50 ******s at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.

What is the worst 3 years of a ******s life?
First grade.

THOSE are offensive.

[Labret] · 03-19-2002, 07:14 PM

How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.

When does a Black man turn into a ******?
As soon as he leaves the room.

What do you call a ****** with a Harvard education?
******.

Juicy D. Links · 03-19-2002, 07:15 PM

[Labret] · 03-19-2002, 07:20 PM

Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of ****** out of their mouth.

What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A ****** dressed for church.

Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check

How do you stop a ****** from going out?
Pour more gas on him.

How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?
They're both ******s.

What do you do if you see a ****** with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.

Whats the differance between Afghanistan and Christmas?
Christmas will be here this year.

Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My ****** I can paint him whatever color I want.

^R3K^ · 03-19-2002, 07:34 PM

Damn Labret your such a fucking cock blower....

And your boy hasnt got up with me yet ;-)))

Joseph · 03-19-2002, 07:37 PM

punkbot · 03-19-2002, 07:47 PM

ROFLMFAO

LoveAsianChicks · 03-19-2002, 07:51 PM

tha_timinator · 03-19-2002, 07:54 PM

labret you're one fuckin' american dude !

dublin1 · 03-19-2002, 07:56 PM

damnit, would somebody post something offensive

EasyDialers · 03-19-2002, 08:03 PM

tha_timinator · 03-19-2002, 08:04 PM

FUCK YOU

you're welcome dublin1

dublin1 · 03-19-2002, 08:06 PM

Pipecrew · 03-19-2002, 08:13 PM

Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable ?
A: The WheelChair

Q:Whats better then winning the gold in the special olympics?
A: Not being retarded

Hooterdog · 03-19-2002, 08:13 PM

A guy works at a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."

So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"

The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm screwing her."

The boss says, "You screw your sister?"

The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

[Labret] · 03-19-2002, 08:14 PM

http://webcenter.newssearch.netscape...79_aolns. src

Damn, this girl died from taking a hockey puck to the melon at an NHL game.

Chaa ching! Someone just made a shitload of money.

Pipecrew · 03-19-2002, 08:26 PM

Yeah that sucked, i really felt bad for once

and there wont be a lawsuit.... its all on the conditions of a ticket... i saw a guy lose all his teeth and broke his nose because of a puck..... they didnt have to give him anything

Gary · 03-19-2002, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by [Labret]
http://webcenter.newssearch.netscape...79_aolns. src

Damn, this girl died from taking a hockey puck to the melon at an NHL game.

Chaa ching! Someone just made a shitload of money.

Thats how i spell retirement

nemesis · 03-19-2002, 09:02 PM

There were these three guys, a Polish guy, an Italian guy, and a Jewish guy. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they notice that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, they'll all leave early too.

The boss left and so did they.

The Jewish guy goes home and goes to rest so he can get an early start.

The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner.

The Polish guy goes home and walks to his bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss so he shuts the door and leaves.

The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking and plan to go home early again. They ask the Polish guy if he wants to leave early again and he says, "NO".

They ask him why not and he said, "because yesterday I almost got caught."

Pipecrew · 03-19-2002, 09:04 PM

That joke is the same as one, but with a blond and brunette etc

JFK · 03-19-2002, 09:39 PM

What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
LABRET dressed for church.

ServerGenius · 03-20-2002, 01:06 AM

A yank and Jew are standing by the grave of a their passed away mutual friend....The yank says...shit man I owed this guy 500 bucks, takes out his wallet and throws the loot into the grave...

The jewish guy...you're right I have to come clean to I also owed him 500 bucks...He takes out the 500 bucks of the grave, writes a check for 1000 bucks and throws it into the grave!

DynaMite

03-19-2002, 07:05 PM	#1
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	Something To Offend Damn Near Everyone SOMETHING TO OFFEND DAMN NEAR EVERYONE Q. What's the Cuban national anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A. A different bar Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby? A. Sum Ting Wong Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A. A speech impediment Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast? A. They're hiring Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? A. Because they're not going to work in the future either. Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm? A. A pimp. Q. Why do Driver Education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe. Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word? A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!" Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A. A northern fairytale begins, "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit." Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States

03-19-2002, 07:09 PM	#2
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	I'm not offended.... I feel left out. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

03-19-2002, 07:10 PM	#3
Naughty Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Utopia Posts: 6,482	__________________ seks.ai for sale - ping me

03-19-2002, 07:37 PM	#9
Joseph Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Glendale Posts: 18	__________________ ProAdult.com AVS

03-19-2002, 07:47 PM	#10
punkbot Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 2	ROFLMFAO __________________ I never stop working for you! Colo and Dedicated space at great rates! Email me to find out just how [email protected]

03-19-2002, 07:12 PM	#4
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	Damnit, I find none of that offensive. Q: What do you call a **** with a new bike? A: A thief. What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? **s. What's the difference between dog shit and **s? When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking. How do you stop a ** from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head How do you get a ** out of a tree? Cut the rope. Why do **s stink? So blind people can hate them too. What do you call 50 **s at the bottom of the ocean? Good start. What is the worst 3 years of a ****s life? First grade. THOSE are offensive.

03-19-2002, 07:14 PM	#5
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon? All of them if you put them in the ashtray. When does a Black man turn into a ****? As soon as he leaves the room. What do you call a ** with a Harvard education? ****.

03-19-2002, 07:15 PM	#6
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992

03-19-2002, 07:20 PM	#7
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	Why do police dogs lick their ass? To get the taste of **** out of their mouth. What is red green yellow orange purple and pink? A ** dressed for church. Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots? They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending. Did you hear about the new Black Barbie? It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check How do you stop a ** from going out? Pour more gas on him. How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read? They're both **s. What do you do if you see a ** with half a head? Stop laughing and reload. Whats the differance between Afghanistan and Christmas? Christmas will be here this year. Whats blue and hangs in my front yard? My **** I can paint him whatever color I want.

03-19-2002, 07:34 PM	#8
^R3K^ Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: North Carolina Posts: 2,815	Damn Labret your such a fucking cock blower.... And your boy hasnt got up with me yet ;-)))

03-19-2002, 07:51 PM	#11
LoveAsianChicks Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: -CANADA- Posts: 1,464

03-19-2002, 07:54 PM	#12
tha_timinator Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Amsterdam, the Netherlands Posts: 590	labret you're one fuckin' american dude ! __________________ CELEBRITYSTART.COM

03-19-2002, 07:56 PM	#13
dublin1 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Location, Location Posts: 198	damnit, would somebody post something offensive

03-19-2002, 08:03 PM	#14
EasyDialers Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 204	__________________ Need 100% Free Hosting? Unlimited bandwidth, FTP Access, TGP Compliant! Even More! Click Here To Sign-Up Now!

03-19-2002, 08:04 PM	#15
tha_timinator Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Amsterdam, the Netherlands Posts: 590	FUCK YOU you're welcome dublin1 __________________ CELEBRITYSTART.COM

03-19-2002, 08:06 PM	#16
dublin1 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Location, Location Posts: 198

03-19-2002, 08:13 PM	#17
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable ? A: The WheelChair Q:Whats better then winning the gold in the special olympics? A: Not being retarded

03-19-2002, 08:13 PM	#18
Hooterdog Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cincy Posts: 602	A guy works at a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him." So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?" The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm screwing her." The boss says, "You screw your sister?" The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

03-19-2002, 08:14 PM	#19
[Labret] Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: Са́нкт-Петербу́рг Posts: 10,945	http://webcenter.newssearch.netscape...79_aolns. src Damn, this girl died from taking a hockey puck to the melon at an NHL game. Chaa ching! Someone just made a shitload of money.

03-19-2002, 08:26 PM	#20
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	Yeah that sucked, i really felt bad for once and there wont be a lawsuit.... its all on the conditions of a ticket... i saw a guy lose all his teeth and broke his nose because of a puck..... they didnt have to give him anything

03-19-2002, 09:02 PM	#22
nemesis Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: home Posts: 1,335	There were these three guys, a Polish guy, an Italian guy, and a Jewish guy. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they notice that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, they'll all leave early too. The boss left and so did they. The Jewish guy goes home and goes to rest so he can get an early start. The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner. The Polish guy goes home and walks to his bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss so he shuts the door and leaves. The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking and plan to go home early again. They ask the Polish guy if he wants to leave early again and he says, "NO". They ask him why not and he said, "because yesterday I almost got caught."

03-19-2002, 09:04 PM	#23
Pipecrew Master of Gfy.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 14,887	That joke is the same as one, but with a blond and brunette etc

03-19-2002, 09:39 PM	#24
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	What is red green yellow orange purple and pink? LABRET dressed for church.

03-20-2002, 01:06 AM	#25
ServerGenius Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Amsterdam Posts: 9,377	A yank and Jew are standing by the grave of a their passed away mutual friend....The yank says...shit man I owed this guy 500 bucks, takes out his wallet and throws the loot into the grave... The jewish guy...you're right I have to come clean to I also owed him 500 bucks...He takes out the 500 bucks of the grave, writes a check for 1000 bucks and throws it into the grave! DynaMite __________________ \| http://www.sinnerscash.com/ \| ICQ: 370820 \| Skype: SinnersCash \| AdultWhosWho \|